The Accidental Wife

by Simi K. Rao

  But of course! Why didn’t I think of it before? Rihaan berated himself.

  He spent the following several hours on the phone, talking to a series of people, explaining and re-explaining his plight, negotiating, even cajoling and making appropriate arrangements, so that it was morning before he was able to head back to Naina’s room.

  He bent down to kiss her gently on the forehead and then whispered in her ear, like he had so many times before, hoping his voice would register somewhere in her subconscious.

  “Darling, as I said before, you’re going to be fine. Tomorrow I’m going to take you home.”

  ***

  A few days later in the Neurocritical care unit of a premier NYC hospital…

  “Naina…” Rihaan sat on the edge of her bed, waiting.

  “Mrs. Mehta, can you open your eyes?” a nurse said on the other side of her bed.

  “Naina, wake up, it’s me, Rihaan.”

  She opened her eyes. He felt a thrill rush through him. At last.

  Her head turned toward him. But her eyes…they didn’t see him. They saw through him.

  “Naina…?” he asked again.

  Her gaze veered away.

  “Naina!” He grabbed her face, in the process dislodging a couple of monitor leads that set off a chorus of loud beeps. But he didn’t care. All that mattered to him right now was her. Her knowing him. “Naina, look at me. It’s Rihaan, your husband!”

  Her glassy eyes remained blank.

  “I love you. Please say something, anything.” He bent down and kissed her lips, but felt no returning pressure. She whimpered, indicating her discomfort.

  “Dr. Mehta…” The nurse urged, pressing gently on his arm.

  He released his wife and withdrew into a corner and watched silently as the staff went about their business.

  You’re reacting prematurely Rihaan, he thought. You have to allow for the drugs to wear out of her system. You have to be patient. You have to give her time.

  After consulting with Naina’s neurologist, Rihaan had discontinued all but her anti-seizure medications. In response, she seemed more alert at times, but then during others she appeared to revert back to a blank glassy stare that rotated aimlessly across the room. She also seemed to have lost all purposeful movement. The staff had to move and position her like a mannequin. She rarely spoke, and when she did, her speech was unintelligible; a garbled mish-mash of words that Rihaan couldn’t make out even when he strained very hard.

  But he didn’t give up hope, sure that it was a transition period. Time, Rihaan, give her time! He reminded himself of it over and over again.

  But Naina wouldn’t eat, and she was losing weight by the day despite the tube feeds, which was worrisome. He discussed his concerns with her gastroenterologist who suggested instituting a special tube into her stomach as a better way of supplementing her nutrition.

  “No,” Rihaan said with a cringe. He had seen feeding tubes turn many individuals into permanent invalids and he didn’t want the same fate for Naina. He wanted her to have every chance at a normal life. He left saying he needed some time to think about the decision.

  When he returned to her room, he was taken aback by the sight of both his parents, his mother in particular, who had always maintained that she hated hospitals, including the very sight and smell of death and disease. He saw her standing and staring aghast at his wife, who sat propped up in a bedside recliner with the nurse fussing about her. Naina seemed restless for some reason.

  “Dad,” Rihaan said, turning to Shashank. “I asked you specifically not to bring Mom here. She doesn’t get hospitals. And I don’t want anything to upset Naina at this time.”

  “I’m sorry, son, but she insisted. She went to the temple this morning and brought some prasad for bahu.”

  “Naina is not in any state to take prasad,” Rihaan said, glaring at his mother, but she didn’t appear to hear him.

  “What is wrong with bahu? Look at her! So pale and thin. I can even see her bones!” she exclaimed, raising a hand to her mouth in a show of horror, which infuriated Rihaan even more. “Look at the big dark circles around her eyes and where is her beautiful long hair? And why is she staring at me like that…as if she hates me or something?”

  Rihaan turned to look at his wife. Indeed, her gaze had become vehement and fixed, and her movements were increasingly agitated. Naina was pulling at everything; her face, the hospital gown and IV lines. The nurse couldn’t keep her still.

  All of a sudden Naina’s lips curled back and her face turned into a horrible fiendish mask. And from in between her clenched teeth started pouring out a torrent of bizarre nonsensical speech.

  “Naina!” He rushed to her side, but she wouldn’t calm down. Her nails dug sharply into his flesh as her body grew rigid like a board. He recognized the malady for he had seen it happen several times before. Her eyes rolled back into her head, the muscles in her neck stood up in painful tense cords and she began thrashing violently and choking on her own saliva. And while his mother screamed hysterically in the background, Rihaan along with several other hospital staff tried to hold Naina down and sedate her again. She packed an amazing amount of strength in that tiny, little frame.

  An hour or so later when Rihaan emerged exhausted from the hospital room, he was surprised to see his parents still there, waiting in the lounge. He managed a tired smile at his father who came up to him bearing a face full of anxiety and concern. “Naina’s fine. She’s sleeping now. You can go home.”

  “Fine?” His mother cried out from her perch in the corner. “You call behavior like that fine? When one rants, raves, and curses and exposes herself in front of her in-laws? I call it shocking and offensive!”

  “Mother! Please understand. Naina wasn’t aware of anything that was going on. She was having a seizure!”

  “I don’t believe it. She did it because she hates me. I saw it in her eyes!” Shobha shot back.

  “Naina can’t control her…” Rihaan began to explain, then cut his sentence short. He quietly turned on his heels and left. Convincing anyone, least of all his mother regarding her daughter-in-law’s lack of malice didn’t figure anywhere on his list of priorities.

  And Naina wasn’t fine. She began having recurrent and violent partial complex seizures, which to control she had to be kept under a drug cloud, in a semiconscious state. Rihaan felt at once helpless and frustrated. He couldn’t handle the sight of seeing his wife committed yet again to a state where she was barely alive and utterly dependent on others for even the most mundane of her bodily functions. He wanted her back, like she’d been before, vibrant and wonderful. He wanted his Naina back. But the options to help her seemed to be running out.

  ***

  Late the following evening, after having reviewed and discussed the results of a battery of tests with his boss, Rihaan began to see a glimmer of hope. Naina’s case was going to be discussed by a panel of experts and his chief had assured him that a solution was bound to be found.

  “Have faith, son,” he had said, clapping him on his back. “Good things happen to good people. And your wife is one of the best.”

  Rihaan hurried back to the hospital. He hadn’t seen Naina all day. Besides, he wanted to tell her about the developments, whisper into her ear, like he’d been doing all along. Talking to her made him feel good.

  He was intercepted in the lobby by his mother, an occurrence he’d least expected. He smiled at her, “Are you here to see your bahu?”

  “No, I’m here to see my son and bring him some home-cooked food,” she retorted, handing over a large bag.

  “Well, if that is the only reason, then I don’t want to see you. You can take back the food. I’ve lost the taste for it.” He turned away.

  “Rihaan! My son! Hey Bhagwan!” she cried, pulling on his arm. “What has that girl done to you?”

  “That
girl has a name…Naina.”

  She ignored him. “She has turned you into Devdas. I see a haunted look in your eyes. Where has my carefree, go-getter son gone to?”

  “Stop being melodramatic, Ma. It doesn’t become you,” he said with a short laugh. “And the carefree go-getter son you talk about was a rudderless, selfish bastard. Naina, who’s my wife by the way, has changed me for the better. I know where I’m headed now, and she’s going to be with me all the way.”

  “No, she won’t. Not the way she is now…” Shobha said, her voice loaded with skepticism.

  “She’s sick, that’s all. But she’ll get better soon. I’m confident.”

  Shobha let out a dismal sigh. “She’ll never get better. I remember a neighbor we used to have in our village. I was very young then. This girl, who used to be my friend, had attacks just like Naina. She’d be walking on the street when suddenly she’d fall to the ground, start pulling her hair, and begin screaming like a madwoman… They said she was possessed by the devil. But the ojha couldn’t do anything. Her attacks grew so bad that she had to be kept chained up in a solitary room. I don’t know exactly what happened to her. Someone said she cut her throat because she had lost her mind. I can see Naina in her place.”

  “Dangerous superstitious nonsense!” Rihaan exploded. “Your poor friend needed a good doctor, not an exorcist! Mother, I’m surprised that you allowed yourself to believe in such crap. Naina hasn’t lost her mind. She just needs some help.”

  She gave him a look. “You’ve already helped her a lot, don’t you think? She’s taken enough advantage of you.”

  “What do you mean?” Rihaan scrutinized her suspiciously.

  “I mean what I say,” Shobha said, looking at him with a strange light in her eyes. “I can’t see you wasting your future for a girl who left you. She abandoned a loving husband, for her own selfish motives. Naina has become a vegetable and will remain like that for the rest of her life.”

  “So what do you expect me to do? Leave her?”

  “Yes.” His mother nodded, continuing earnestly as Rihaan stared at her in horror. “I want you to leave her. Marry another girl and be happy. I’m sure Naina would want the same. Unfortunately she’s not in a state to say so.”

  “I’m glad she’s not in a state to say so and even if she was, I wouldn’t listen to her. Because she’s my wife and I love her… I love her like a crazy madman! She’s the only one who can make me happy. And she won’t be able to get rid of me, either, no matter how hard she tried. Got it Ma? Let’s forget that we ever had this conversation,” Rihaan said getting up from his seat. He’d had enough of his mother’s uncalled for advice.

  As he walked away with a renewed determination in his step, he recalled the conversation they’d had in a café not so long ago, when he’d told Naina about his patient; about a young man rendered totally incapacitated by an inoperable brain tumor, and his wife who wouldn’t give up. Naina had uttered plainly that he would know why she hadn’t given up if he found himself in a similar situation.

  Now he understood what her words meant. Hope and faith kept them going through the toughest of times. And he had plenty of both.

  ***

  Rihaan waited impatiently outside the conference room where a group of consultants had gathered to discuss Naina’s case. He’d been asked to participate, but had declined, because he’d let emotions cloud his judgment. That wouldn’t be fair to her.

  The meeting ended and the doctors dispersed, nodding with encouragement at him. A couple of them even gave him the thumbs up sign. He turned to his boss who’d headed the meeting, “So Chief, what’s the consensus?”

  “It seems surgery is the only way.”

  Rihaan nodded solemnly. “I guessed you’d say so. So who’s going to do it?”

  “You.”

  “Me?” Rihaan laughed nervously. “You’ve got to be kidding. I can’t… Why not you? Or Dr. Garrett. I’m sure he wouldn’t refuse.”

  “Rihaan, my boy…” the chief gently squeezed his shoulder. “You are a master in cutting edge focus resection surgical technique. You’ve even presented a paper on it. Besides, would you be able to forgive yourself if someone else did it and there was a complication?”

  Rihaan shook his head. His boss was right. He would never be able to forgive himself and Naina would never get another chance. He looked down at his hands. It was going to be the toughest job he’d ever undertake. His ultimate test. And he had to take it if he wished to get her back in his life. And she was going to make it…for herself, for him, for the both of them.

  Rebirth

  Rebirth—of a body buried before it had taken its final breath.

  A mistake discovered before the flame of life had flickered and died.

  Heavy lids cracked open slowly like those on an ancient coffin. Naina was rousing from a deep, deep sleep. Few perceptions could be more terrifying. What lay in wait on the other side?

  She was emerging from an endless pitch black tunnel. The tiny spot of light was growing larger and larger and so bright that it hurt. Her eyes clamped shut, then opened again, slowly, with caution.

  Someone spoke at her side—a man’s voice, warm, gentle and caring—one she’d heard before, instinctively letting her know that he was friend not foe.

  ***

  Rihaan had been waiting restlessly for this moment. For his Naina to wake up. The light of life was back in her eyes. They were as beautiful and clear as ever. Dark, luminous pools. And she was looking at him, returning his smile. He was ecstatic, overcome by immeasurable relief and joy.

  “Darling! Thank heavens! Welcome back!” He scooped her up gently into his arms. “I’ve missed you so much!”

  But he felt her resist his embrace. His joy faltered. “Naina?”

  ***

  Naina pulled away, disregarding his plea, and slowly scanned the rest of the hospital staff gathered in the room. Her bewilderment intensified.

  She looked down at herself, surveying her skimpy gown and her much bruised and punctured arms from which trailed an assortment of wires and lines, then demanded in a rough, cracked voice. “Who… Who are you all? And what am I doing here…like this?”

  They all looked as one to the man who’d been sitting on her bed and talking to her.

  He was now standing up and regarding her with a perturbed expression on his nice-looking face. But he spoke with a voice that was calm and steady. “You were in an accident, a very bad accident. That’s why you’re here, in the hospital. All these people have been working with you, helping you, trying to get you better. Naina, don’t you remember anything?”

  “Naina?” Her eyes narrowed. “Why are you calling me that?”

  ***

  “Because that is your name. Naina Rathod Mehta. And unfortunately you’ve lost your memory,” Rihaan said. Then at once turned on his heels and strode out of the room, and out of the hospital and away.

  Away from the flurry of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. Away from the incredible dejection and gloom that, like a pair of invisible hands, had come clamping down on his throat and were squeezing so hard it felt as if his torso would split wide open and expose his poor, pathetic heart at any moment.

  In a rush to exit the building, he lost his footing and stumbled, pitching headfirst toward the icy pavement. As the ground rushed to embrace him, he succumbed gladly, giving himself up to oblivion and to the yawning quagmire of self-pity because he had been betrayed. His immaculate dream had been destroyed. And, as luck would have it, some damn do-gooder chose to yank him up. Destiny wasn’t prepared to let him off the hook that easily.

  So he continued to walk, his eyes burning with tears of bitter regret. They spurred him on, goading him to walk faster. With his long frame stiff, head bowed and hands thrust deep in his pockets, he stood at the crosswalk waiting for the lights to change, craving to be just an
other anonymous, inscrutable face headed for some obscure destination.

  How long he walked or how far, he wasn’t aware, just that it was critical for him to keep his body in perpetual motion. When abruptly, amidst an enclosure of several tall shiny buildings, he was forced to come to a standstill. It was as if the looming giants had all ganged up and were hell-bent in fencing him in.

  Alarmed, he glanced around, searching the faces of his companions, but none appeared to share his uncanny experience. It must be in my head, he thought, closing his eyes and taking in several slow, deep breaths.

  Then he looked up warily.

  The mammoth structures of concrete and steel, they towered so high it looked as if they were scraping the sky—reflecting man’s eternal quest for the ultimate. And they were all beckoning to him, urging him to join them in their quest. Rihaan responded by drawing his hands out of his pockets, reaching up, craning with every fiber of his being. Yes, if he tried hard enough, he too could touch the sky. Nothing was impossible.

  I should be grateful that my Naina is fine. That she is alive and with me. I’ve all the time in the world to help her get to know me again and love me, just as I love her. Yes, nothing is impossible.

  ***

  He returned to find her refusing to eat or take her medications.

  “I won’t do anything until someone tells me what’s wrong with me. Why can’t I remember anything?” she asked.

  An indulgent smile lit his face and he nodded reassuringly at the flustered nurse. Seating himself on the bed next to his wife, he took the bowl of soup in his hands and looked directly into her eyes.

  She was scrutinizing him with suspicion.

  “Nothing’s wrong with you. The reason why you’ve lost your memory is because your brain has suffered a tremendous amount of trauma. I know that can be very frightening. But don’t worry, everything will come back to you soon. I’m damn sure of it.”

  “How can you say so and with so much confidence? Who are you anyway?”