“Until you aren’t afraid anymore,” Hawk answered.
“Just like that?”
“Yeah, just like that, Princess.”
“Why do ya’ll...You told them about the princess in the tower thing didn’t you, Heim?”
Heim moved behind her. She still held herself stiff, light tremors raced down her arms. He pulled her into his chest before he kissed the top of her head. “I do not recall, exactly.”
“Yes, he did,” Glitz pipped in.
“Told us how beautiful he thought you were in Dubai, and he couldn’t get enough of you,” Welsh offered.
“Was all hurt when he woke up and you were gone. Thought you left him for some other guy, and he was carrying your necklace around like a lost puppy,” Snake added.
“Then he told your father that—”
Heim cut Hawk off by pointing his gun at the air. “The next one speaks eats a bullet.”
“Can’t hit us if you point it at the air,” Hawk said.
“Don’t point a gun at someone, unless you intend to use it. He knows that, which is why he didn’t point it at us. He loves us,” Snake told them.
Heim grit his teeth. “Yeah? But I could shove these bullets in places your momma don't even know about.”
“Yo’ momma,” Snake returned.
“What are you, twelve?” Heim asked.
“That’s as high as he can count, Princess,” Snake confided.
Katya snorted, then doubled over laughing. In the center of six larger than life Navy SEALs, the former captive laughed for the first time in weeks. Heim loved the boisterous sound of it. The way it bounced of the walls and grew. The infectious quality that made six hardened men smile in indulgence.
“Thank you,” he mouthed to his team.
Snake motioned the sign for “roger” as the team gathered their gear. When Katya could finally stop laughing she said, “Leaving already?”
“We missed PTO, and commander is going to be pissed. Heim is the only one that has time off right now to play twinkle toes. We’ll be back later, okay?” Snake told her.
“Yeah. I’ll make dinner. I was wondering where all the leftovers were going in the fridge.”
“I loved your chicken marsala. Can you make some more of that?” Hawk asked.
“You putting requests in on my woman now, Hawk?” Heim asked, lifting a brow.
“Hey, a closed mouth doesn’t get fed, and I’m starving.”
“Fine, man. The chicken marsala was good,” Heim returned.
“Later, Princess,” Hawk said.
The SEALs filed out and left Heim and Katya behind. Heim shook his head and turned Katya to face him. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you they’d be here. I didn’t want you to feel like I was babying you, or sharing everything with them.”
“Sounds like you shared quite a bit already,” she teased him.
“They wouldn’t have known about half of it, had it not been for what happened. There was timeframe and location information that helped us find you. If I hadn’t told them what happened, we would have been shooting in the dark.”
“It’s okay, Heim. I’m a military brat, and my work in translating deals with government personnel. I understand need to know basis and the closeness of battle buddies. Special Forces takes that definition to a whole other level. My father still contacts regularly with his former SEAL team members.”
“Where have you been all my life?”
“I’ve been standing here. You were the one under a rock…”
Heim noted the way her voice trailed off, the joke falling flat at the mention of rock. He rubbed her arms. She’d come downstairs in his PJ top, and he wore the bottoms. It was long enough to look like a gown on her, hiding her frame from view. The silky material slid against her skin with a delicate swish.
“Look at me, Katya. You don’t have to act like it didn’t happen. Sometimes will be harder than others. You survived, but it doesn’t mean that you aren’t still traumatized.”
“Have you ever feared dying?” she whispered.
“Yeah. A few times. My first mission I was fresh out of training. See, most people don’t know you train for about a year or so after BUD/s on how to be a SEAL. I was good. Didn’t miss much. People called me Heim because of that. I relied on it too much. My mission almost failed because I didn’t see the last enemy circle around. I thought I’d cleared it, and when they asked me, I told them yes, I checked twice. I had, just not as clearly. I was bringing up the six, and that enemy grabbed me. By the time my team could react, we were rolling down hill, fighting. I survived...he didn’t, but I knew how close I’d come to losing my life. Other times...well, it got bad, Katya.”
“I close my eyes, and I see their faces. The ones that died. Zaid and the others that survive. I see their fear, taste my terror. I feel like I’m trapped once more, feeling brain and blood slide down my face. I try, but the nightmare doesn’t let me out. It’s like it’s on sick replay, from every angle my mind can make up.”
Heim pulled her into his arms. There wasn’t much that he could tell her. He wished that he could take this from her. As impossible as it may be, he couldn’t deny the urge. Only time could heal her, and it would leave behind scars. She’d never look at the dark the same. She may never be comfortable coming downstairs alone if it was dark. Hell, she may never even want to see a gun anymore. Heim’s life could be violent, dangerous. Was it right for him to pull her into all this?
He shook his head. Thinking that way wouldn’t change the fact that things happened to her. Even if he tried to protect her from the things that she couldn’t deal with, they would still be there. He needed to remind her of the beautiful things in life. Show her the things worth fighting for. He swung her into his arms. Her slight weight rested against his chest.
“What are you doing?” she squeaked.
“Showing you a few things.”
She fell silent as he climbed the stairs. A straightforward hall led from the stairs to his master suite. He wouldn’t be heading there. Instead he’d take her to the first door on the left. When he opened the door he set her down on her feet. She wrapped her arms around her waist and waited for him as he started her bath. After he tested that the water was warm enough, and not too hot for her still healing skin, he headed to his room and grabbed a large fluffy towel, her black yoga pants and tank top, and finally the necklace he’d been holding for her. By the time he got back, the tub had enough water in it.
“Off with your top, baby.” Before she could comply with his wishes, he turned and poured lavender scented oil into the smoking water. He could hear the rustle of clothes behind him, but he didn’t turn. He didn’t want her feeling like he ogled her bare skin while she was confused and hurting. He would never be that sort of guy to her. Still, he could appreciate her long, graceful neck, the roundness of her hips, and her heavy breasts as she slid into the bathtub.
God, he wanted her. Wanted to taste her, and feel her come alive again.
But not yet.
Instead, he pulled her necklace from his pocket and showed it to her.
“When I took this, I was holding on to the last memories I could from a woman who made my wildest dreams come true. She was sexy and smart. Sassy and true to herself. Then she turned my world upside down, before I realized what happened.”
After he fastened the necklace around her neck, he picked up the soap. He lathered until his hands were full of suds and then gripped her arm. “You are still that girl, Katya. Battle hardened with a few cracks, sure, but still her. They can’t take that from you.”
Chapter Fifteen
Katya
Heim’s hands traced her body, coating her in slippery lavender scented soap. The warm water lapped over her breasts and around her exposed knees. But Heim just worked, ignoring her bare flesh. His strong fingers worked into her tense muscles. Everywhere he touched he left behind relaxation and calm. Under it all, though, a fire smoldered. As he let her dunk under the water to rinse off and s
oak her hair, she crackled. The creamy shampoo he poured on her hair smelled of strawberry. And then his fingers worked it through her hair.
She came to life.
Nerve endings she didn’t think she had pulsed with liquid desire. For three weeks she’d been too afraid of her own reflection to want Heim. Too attached to his safety net to think about satisfying any needs. Things slowly changed. His forearms were wet and beads of water traced the crevices of his muscles. She had never found a man’s forearms sexy before. His gaze stayed fixed on her hair, his brow furrowed, his mouth stern. He concentrated on her. On the woman who was frightened. That needed to be cared for.
Three weeks he’d catered to her whims, her fears, and her needs. Never asking for himself. He tucked against her body at night to share his heat. He pulled her from nightmares when they got too hard. Her warrior, always there watching. But what about him? How hard had it been for him to come for her? To watch the videos she now knew he’d had to view for clues of her whereabouts? How hard was it for him to lie next to her, and not touch her when their connection before scorched the sky?
It had to be nearly impossible. And he was still here.
She ducked under the water. “Hey,” he called, but she ignored him. Things needed to change. They needed to change. To grab a hold of what brewed between them before. The fire of that one spectacular night when she stole the heart of a Navy SEAL. When she realized she might have just given him her heart in return.
Water sloshed against the edges of the tub as she broke the surface. It splashed and rolled, slipped down over her bared breasts. A single drop of water hung on the tip of one nipple. As the nub stiffened, Heim swallowed hard and stepped back from the tub. His eyes glued to her breasts, he put his hands up, palms out.
“I’m sorry. You just shocked me. Finish your bath and I’ll be out here, okay?”
He turned to reach for the door, but her voice stopped him. “Come here, Heim.”
He didn’t turn around as he sighed hard. “I can’t Katya.”
“Why not?”
“Because if I come back, there won’t be any stopping me. You aren’t ready.”
“Are you sure?”
The bathroom door squeaked as he pressed his palms against the wood. “I don’t know.”
“I do.”
“What do you want Katya?”
“You,” she told him. “To chase all the memories away.”
“The memories will come back, even after I’m finished. That is the truth, Katya. Sex will only be a temporary fix.”
“Who said anything about sex?”
He spun around, his cock tented under his pajama pants. “I’m sorry. I assumed—”
“We never had sex, Heim. Even that first night, didn’t know you? For an all seeing god, you sure missed what I was offering.”
He swallowed hard. “What are you offering, Katya?”
“I want my SEAL to make love to me. What’s wrong?” she asked before she flicked more water at him. “Scared to get a little wet?”
He didn’t say anything or move, at first. He just watched her. Then the distance between them was miniscule, and water splashing all over the place was the least of her worries. Heim was everywhere as he climbed into the bath with her. His mouth was fierce against her, his tongue dominated her, and took every surface and made it his. She couldn’t get away, branded by the steel band of his arms, and she didn’t want to. There was no place more powerful, more amazing, than the one she was in. He stood with her, water splashed back into the tube, before he dropped back to his knees. Her head spun at his speed. As she braced against the cool wall at her back, he latched onto her moist center. Time froze. For infinite seconds all she knew was the sensation of his tongue flicking against her core. The pleasure his touch commanded from her.
The way he placed one of her legs over his shoulder and sucked her hard.
Then time blasted back into motion.
“Yes,” she moaned.
So perfect. So sweet. As his fingers clenched into her buttocks, he held her in place against his mouth. Half-dressed for sleep, covered in sudsy water, and shiny from her essence, Xavier “Heim” Spencer was the most amazing man she’d ever known. To say she desired him wouldn’t do the emotion justice.
“Please,” she begged, not exactly sure what she needed, but knowing she needed something. Heim heard her. He felt it, surely, the way her thighs clenched and quivered. When he nipped her, sending her crashing into the sun, she knew her answer.
Even better when he pulled her from the wall and down over him. Like magic, she slid down on him, in one easy motion. The strength of her climax eased the stretch of him inside again. She gripped the edge of the tub for leverage and rode him. She ignored the slosh of water and the way steam fogged around them. All she cared about was the way he touched her. The way his fingers clenched her hips. They came together naturally, seamless in their ebbs and flows.
She was the sea, his absolute domain. The one place he’d trained for years to court, seduce, and conquer. His hips worked under her, faster than she could follow, and harder than she knew possible. But it was sublime. A turbulent rush into precious ecstasy. A final mission on torrential oceans battling for supremacy. But he held her through it. Her rock. Her warrior. Rode her through the waves, guided her over the squall, and dropped her into the undertow until she was swept away. By the time he tensed and exploded within her, she could no longer recognize her own name, let alone move.
“Let’s get the princess to bed.”
And never let me go.
Chapter Sixteen
Heim
“Let’s take a drive,” Heim told Katya. She turned, the sun dancing off the subtle highlights in her dark hair. For days they spent time making love and letting Katya get to know the team, but he could see her getting a bit stir crazy. They had to be careful of her weakened state.
“Where are we going?”
“First stop would be breakfast. I’ve got a hankering for a pile of bacon and thick Belgian waffles. What do you say?”
“You should have started with breakfast first, I wouldn’t have asked any questions.”
“That’s my girl,” he said. He tapped her bottom as she stood and smiled.
She turned around and looked at him, a smile nowhere in sight. “Am I?”
“What?”
“Your girl? We never really talked about it. So much happened, and we sort of melded together. But there’s still so much we don’t know about each other.”
Heim scratched his chin. “I know that you wrinkle your nose when something displeases or embarrassed you. That you like to eat like a trucker and still manage to stay in shape.”
“Hey!”
He stood and paced toward her. When he reached her, he pulled her into his arms. “I know your worst fear is being alone, in the dark. That the nightmare that happened to you isn’t over. At night I don’t move even two inches away from you because you can’t sleep when I’m not near you. Princess, I know your kisses taste like the rest of my life and your body was made for mine. And I know that I ran into that hellhole because it didn’t matter that I’d only known you for one night. That was enough to touch me. To push me.”
“Is it enough, Heim? People don’t fall in love in a few weeks. That only happens in movies.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. Are you saying you love me?”
Her cheeks reddened as she stumbled back from him. Wide-eyed, she fingered the tips of her hair. “That’s not the point I was making.”
“I think that’s the point that matters, Princess.”
Heim stalked her. As she hurried to take steps away from him, he didn’t let her go. He couldn’t. He didn’t want her to question what they shared. Her heat reached him first, before he pressed against her body. Trapped between his hard frame and his kitchen counter, she finally stopped running. Instead she buried her face against his chest.
“What if it’s a dream, Heim? A moment where we shared something life a
ltering and we are confusing that with something more?”
“Look at me, baby.”
She lifted her head slowly and exhaled. Tears sparkled at the edges of her eyes. Such tragic eyes. So much fear and confusion. Still, she clung to him, her short white nails bit into his chest through his shirt. He would be that anchor for the rest of her life, if she let him.
“So what if what we shared is faster than most? In basic training I met Hawk and Snake, you know? We were inseparable. In eight weeks I learned so much about them. We fought and struggled together. And then in BUD/s we became SEALs together. But in just a few short weeks, I gained two friends that I would never give up for the rest of my life. The rest of my team only needed one mission with me to find their places. You see, in our line of work, we get the mission done. We don’t always ask why or how come. Because somethings aren’t explainable, Katya.”
“That is different than love.”
“No, it’s not. I love my country. I love my team. I’d die for them. Give them everything inside of me to keep them safe. And I am willing to do that for you. Hell, I’ve done it, Princess. What does that mean if it isn’t love? I don’t want anyone else in my life, in my bed, or in my heart. One night has turned into forever for me, Princess.”
“You’re saying—”
“I’m saying that I love you, and I understand if you need a bit more time. I’m not going anywhere.”
Her mouth, warmed by the sun, was silk against his. Maybe he should have given her a chance to answer. To tell him that she loved him too. His heart wanted to jump out of his chest, and his palms were sweaty. He was a trained Navy SEAL. Had been in multiple dangerous situations, war, and had bullets flying by his head. A few times he’d even been struck. And here he stood, more terrified of a slip of a girl not able to say she loved him. So he held her close. Crushed her against his chest until he felt her heart beating. Sank into her kiss and reveled in the tastes on her tongue. The mint toothpaste she used filled his mouth as he licked. Until she broke away and he saw shadows in her eyes that he couldn’t name.
Special Forces: Operation Alpha: Protecting Butterfly (Kindle Worlds Novella) (SEALed Fate Book 1) Page 7