by Holly Jacobs
“You just wait, you two,” his mom said to both Ariel and Eli. “One minute you’re holding the most precious baby in the world in your arms, and the next, they’re twelve and you’re getting a call from the neighbors because they’ve climbed out their bedroom window…again.”
“Ah, come on, Mom,” Cessy cried right on cue. “Are you ever going to let me live it down?”
“Darling, I told you somewhere around the second time I caught you at it that I wouldn’t.”
Cessy turned to Ariel and Eli, who were sitting next to each other on the opposite side of the table. “I thought my biological mother might have been an alien and that’s why she left me. I was hoping my alien superpower was flying.”
Their whole family knew why Cessy’s alien fantasies didn’t include her father. Zac felt the familiar sense of pain as he remembered.
“Turns out her only alien superpower was annoying her older brothers,” Dom, ever the peacemaker, teased in hopes of making everyone let go of the sad memory and laugh.
It worked.
Zac glanced at Eli. She gave him a look that said she’d caught the awkward moment, and that she was sorry, but she didn’t ask any questions. And Zac knew she wouldn’t. She would let him tell her when and if he was ready.
He smiled and gave a small nod, letting her know it was okay. Then he glanced at her plate, specifically at the place where his mother’s dressing had been, but was now conspicuously empty. He glanced at her with a question in his eyes. She nodded.
He reached for the bowl that was in front of him. “Hey, Mom, can you pass this to Eli?”
“Your dressing’s delicious, Mrs. Keller.”
“It’s the chestnuts. They give it just the right crunch.”
“Hey, Zac, how did you know Eli wanted the dressing?” Cessy asked. “Maybe I wasn’t the only alien Mom and Dad adopted. Me and my flying abilities, and you and your ESP.”
“Nah, they’ve got that same thing Mom and Dad have. That conversations-with-their-eyes thing,” Layla assured her. “I’ve always thought I don’t want a guy who can’t talk to me without saying a word.”
“And I assure you, Lay, that most men I know would soooooo—” Dom drew the word out to annoy her especially “—appreciate having their only speech with you confined to ones without words.”
Layla tossed a dinner roll at him.
He picked it up, poised to toss it back, when their mom said, “Children, we have guests.”
And there it was, that look Layla had been talking about. His mom looked at his dad, and though both of them maintained a stern expression, they were laughing with each other.
They were talking without saying a word.
In that one quick glance between his parents, he’d seen not only their amusement, but also the love they had for each and for the family they’d built.
In Eli, he could see she’d seen his parents, and that she was as touched as he was.
Zac had dated women before, but he’d never met anyone he felt he could build a relationship with like his parents’.
Until now.
And as they resumed their regular holiday chatter, Zac acknowledged that he was most thankful for that sense of potential he had with Eli.
LATER THAT NIGHT, AFTER they’d dropped Ariel off at her aunt’s, Zac pulled up in front of Eli’s house.
She was exhausted, but she lingered in the car, not wanting the day to officially end. “I’m supposed to tell you thank you from my mom for rescuing me from a solo Thanksgiving.”
“Did you tell her that Tucker invited you, too?”
“Oh, she knew. But if you’ve ever eaten Tucker’s cooking, you’d know you did indeed rescue me.” Tucker was great with a paintbrush in hand, but give her a pair of oven mitts and watch out.
“So, I have a long weekend for the holiday,” Zac said. “I’ve got to check in at the store tomorrow morning, but the rest of the day is mine. What if I come pick you up and take you to lunch?”
“Zac, you must have better things to do.”
“You say that every time I ask to spend time with you. Since my sister is convinced we can talk without talking, just like my parents, want to guess what I’m saying without saying?”
Eli tried to look serious, but all she could do was laugh. That seemed to be a common theme with Zac. They talked, they enjoyed each other’s company and they both laughed a lot.
“Okay, tomorrow for lunch.” She opened the door. “I’d better get in.”
Before she got out, Zac leaned over and kissed her cheek. It was light, platonic even, and yet, she felt a bit breathless in a way that had nothing to do with the blast of cold air that flooded the car.
“Uh, well, thanks for a lovely day, Zac. I’d really best get in.”
And in his eyes, without him saying a word, she could see that he knew his light buss on the cheek had flustered her, and that he was pleased.
She brushed a fingertip over the spot as she opened the door.
What was she going to do about Zac Keller?
CHAPTER SIX
“Holidays and family gatherings can be a very busy time, and an especially trying time for a pregnant mother. You can do as much as you’re comfortable doing, but remember to pace yourself.”
—Pregnancy, Childbirth and Parenting for Teens, by Mary Jeanne Lorei
THE TIME BETWEEN THANKSGIVING and the Christmas break always flew by, in Eli’s opinion.
Fall leaves and turkeys were replaced by Christmas lights and evergreens. Eli left for school in the dark, and it was dusk by the time she got home most evenings.
She sat at her desk before first period looking out at the grayish sky and admitted to herself that she was nervous.
Today was the day she was going to break the news to her students that she was expecting a baby. She’d made an appointment with Barry Werner, the principal, and told him this morning. Afterward, she’d told a few teachers, and knew that with the way the school grapevine worked, the entire faculty would know by now.
That left her students. And really, her stomach was in knots at the thought of telling them. It was ridiculous and she realized it. She was an adult. She didn’t have to make excuses to anyone. And yet…
Knot upon knot.
The bell for first period rang, and slowly, the girls filed in the room, one by one or in small clusters.
She had fifteen girls this year in her teen parenting class. Eli had other more traditional family and consumer science classes, but this one was nearest and dearest to her heart. Some of the girls, like Ariel, were pregnant, some already had babies. There were freshmen through seniors.
The room’s volume had risen with their murmured conversations.
“Okay, everyone, find your seats.”
Rather than abating, the noise grew even louder. Eli waited and everyone eventually sat down and looked at her expectantly. “Thanks. Now, before we get started on today’s lesson, I have some news I’d like to share with you all.”
The girls were staring at her, and Eli realized her hand was placed protectively over her stomach. “For so many years I’ve worked in the teen pregnancy program, teaching parenting and life skills. It was rather ironic, since I’m single and childless. Well, I’m still single, but I’m very happy to announce—” and as she said the words, it occurred to her that despite her nervousness, she really was happy to announce “—I’ll be remedying the childless part in May.”
The noise level rose again as the girls babbled their congratulations. Eli glanced at Ariel, who was resolutely staring at her desk and not meeting Eli’s eyes.
A couple of hands flew up, and Eli didn’t have time to ponder Ariel’s reaction. She called on Felicity.
“Ms. Cartwright, are you going to get married to the baby’s father?”
Eli had anticipated this question and had given her response plenty of thought beforehand. “In an ideal world, a child’s parents are married. But you all know from personal experience that this is not an ideal world
. So, to answer your question, no. I’m not planning to marry the baby’s father. We’d been in a long-term relationship, but marriage is not in our future.”
“He dumped you?” Kelissa asked.
“I wouldn’t say that,” Eli hedged.
Kelissa looked furious on Eli’s behalf. “He didn’t want nothing to do with a baby and he dumped you. Just like me. My baby’s no-good daddy doesn’t want nothing to do with me or the baby. That’s fine. You’ve taught me to be independent, and I’m going to look after this baby on my own. You’ll do fine, too, Ms. Cartwright, you know more than all of us put together. It’s his loss.”
“Yeah,” Bobbi agreed.
Soon all the girls were offering her words of comfort, although she hadn’t confirmed she’d been dumped.
Well, all the girls except Ariel, who was still staring at some imaginary spot on her desk.
Eli got the class back under control and started her day’s lesson plan. The class flew by. When the bell rang again, the girls immediately started gathering their belongings. Ariel practically sprang from her desk and sprinted toward the door.
“Ariel, could I see you for a minute?” Eli called.
Ariel froze, and with apparent reluctance, turned around and walked back to Eli’s desk, her head down.
“Mel, would you close the door after you?” she called to the straggler.
Eli waited until the door was shut. “Ariel, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
She’d been a teacher too long not to know there was something very wrong here. “Is there something wrong with your baby?”
Ariel shook her head, and since she’d chosend another indistinct point to stare at, her blond hair flopped forward, hiding even her brow.
“Your aunt? Work? School?” Eli asked.
More head shaking.
“Ariel? Talk to me. I thought we were friends.”
Ariel’s head jerked up and she faced Eli, anger flashing in her eyes. “We weren’t friends. We’re not friends. You’re just another stupid teacher, telling me what to do, and I’m just some dumb teenager who’s screwed up her whole life by getting pregnant. You can’t fix my life. Hell, you can’t even fix your own life.” And with that, Ariel stormed out of the classroom.
Eli sat at her desk, not sure what to do. Should she run after Ariel and apologize? For what? For getting pregnant and being dumped? For being human?
Somehow Eli made it until the end of the day. All she wanted to do was go home and hide. Hide from her life.
She opened the door to the silent house. The afternoons got dark early, so it felt gloomy, but she didn’t turn on any lights. Instead, she went to her room, put on her oldest, most comfortable pair of sweats and her Mercyhurst College sweatshirt, made some herbal tea and sat at her desk, going over her plans for next week’s mentor panel.
She made absolutely no headway. She aimlessly turned the pages of her notebook, and occasionally doodled in the margins, but her thoughts kept drifting back to Ariel.
She could rationalize Ariel’s reaction. Ariel had lost everything she knew when she’d become pregnant. Her parents had kicked her out, her boyfriend had left her and she couldn’t be on the cheerleading squad in her condition. She was mad. And in her mind, Eli had now let her down, as well, and in so doing had become a perfect target for some of that anger.
Eli had spent her entire teaching career trying to be a good example to her students, but while she knew good example didn’t equal perfect, maybe Ariel had missed that bulletin.
Well, that was fine, because Eli wasn’t exactly thrilled about her circumstances, either. She’d never planned on being in her forties, pregnant and alone. Yet, here she was. She looked down and what had started out to be a doodle had become an angry knot of scribbles.
She balled up the piece of paper and threw it at the garbage can…and missed.
Perfect. Just perfect. She’d made a mess of her life, her career and now she was making a mess in her house. She got up and picked the paper up and placed it in the can.
The doorbell rang. She couldn’t imagine who it was, but truth be told she hoped it was someone trying to sell something—someone she’d be able to dismiss quickly. She opened the door to find Zac on the porch. “Oh, it’s you.”
“Wow.” He was seemingly unphased by her lack of enthusiasm, as he walked past her into the house.
She shut the door, resigned to the fact she had a guest, like it or not.
“I thought we’d moved beyond such effusive displays of delight.” He smiled, as if he could jolly her out of her funk. She noticed that his grins were so broad that they made the skin around his eyes crinkle. It was as if Zac’s entire face took the business of smiling seriously.
He removed his coat and boots, and headed straight for her living room. Over the last month, he’d become quite at home at her house. “Uh, a bit dark, isn’t it?” The only light in the room was coming through the window.
“Maybe I’m in a dark mood.”
He clicked on the floorlamp next to the couch, sat down and indicated she should sit beside him. “Okay, so, what happened today to put you in a dark mood? Because Eli, you’re the least dark person I know.”
She sat, not because she was obeying him, but because she was pregnant and she should probably sit. “Nothing happened.”
“Liar.” When she didn’t respond, he asked, “Want me to call Tuck for you? I mean, I know you two have been friends longer than we have. It won’t hurt my feelings. If you can’t talk to me, talk to her.”
There was a tightness at the back of her throat that made it impossible to say anything. She literally couldn’t seem to push the words past that point.
“Here, let me call her.”
“No” was all she managed to get out before the tightness became a rush of tears. Not some little moisture leaking from her eyes, but a full gush.
“Hey, hey,” Zac said and without asking, without waiting, he simply pulled her into his arms.
She started to pull away, but he held tight. Not in an uncomfortable way, but rather he held on in the way that only a good friend would know how to do.
She leaned on his shoulder and continued crying as he patted her back and murmured a string of there-theres, I’m-heres and it’s-all-going-to-be-okays.
“But it’s not,” she finally managed to reply, her head still buried in his now soggy shoulder.
“Can you explain?”
She nodded and lifted her chin from his shoulder. She felt slightly deflated after her hysterics. Deflated and embarrassed. “I’m so sorry. That’s so not like me.”
“Eli, a few tears can’t scare me off. And I know it’s not like you, so I know something’s happened. I meant what I said, if you can’t tell me, I’ll call Tucker, or your mom, even if she’s in Florida, she’s just a phone call away. Hell, even my mom. You have to talk to someone. I hate seeing you like this.”
ZAC WANTED TO PUNCH someone. He just needed Eli to tell him who.
He liked to think of himself as a peaceful, easygoing guy, but right now, he had to crush whoever had upset her. He’d never felt such an overwhelming need to protect someone since the day the social worker came for Cessy.
He shut out the memory and concentrated on the here and now—on Eli’s needs.
“It was just a very bad day,” she said, softly.
“Is something wrong with the baby?”
“No. No, nothing like that. I mean, other than the fact I can’t button my pants anymore. Since last week.”
“And that’s set you off? It’s okay. You’ll get back into them after the baby.”
“No, no, I know I’ll get back into them. And I’m not so vain that it freaked me out, but it did make me realize I couldn’t put off telling people at school any longer. I mean, once you’re wearing maternity clothes, the news is sort of out there.”
“And it didn’t go well?”
“The teachers, my colleagues, were supportive. Well, I really just tol
d the ones I’m close with, and figure that the news would make it to the rest of them in record time. The principal was supportive as well. Of course, he asked if I’d be needing time off for the wedding.”
“Subtle as a brick.”
“No, it wasn’t mean. He’s met Arthur and assumed that we’d—” She cut herself off. “Anyway, I told him no, there was no wedding in the works. That Arthur was out of the picture. The principal’s a nice guy, but he’s a guy, and he got this look on his face that said he was afraid I’d start crying, but I didn’t. He seemed relieved and told me congratulations and to let him know if I needed anything. I spent the day telling more people.”
“And that’s why you’re crying? Someone else said something?” Again, the need to find whoever had made Eli cry was as overwhelming as it was a surprise. Chest thumping he-man was not Zac’s normal M.O. but it was out in full force.
“No. All the teachers were great. And Doris, the secretary, jumped up and hugged me and swore she was going to get her knitting supplies out the minute she got home. Between her and my mom, this baby will have booties well into his or her forties. No, that all went well. It was later, when I told my students.” She gave a little post-cry hiccup.
“They didn’t take it well.”
“Most of them did. It’s just, Ariel didn’t. I know that teachers aren’t supposed to have favorites, and yet we’re human and we do. I try to make sure I don’t show her favoritism, but she reminds me so much of Tucker. You wouldn’t think she would. I don’t know if I ever mentioned that Tucker’s real name is Angelina, but no one ever calls her that. It’s too girly, she’d tell you off if you tried. And Ariel has always struck me as the personification of all things girly. So, on the surface, they’re nothing alike, but inside, where it counts, they’re very much the same.”
“And you care.”
“Probably more than I should. Tucker’s dad was supportive after he adjusted, but she didn’t have a mom to go to, and Ariel…well, I get the feeling her aunt is more about materially looking after her than emotionally. Her aunt’s sort of young, she’s gone a lot and I don’t think she knows what to do for Ariel. Tucker and Ariel…they both needed that maternal gap filled. And I tried.”