As we passed the last house, I slowed our pace. Now we ambled along the bitumen road that led to Caldine and further west. The landscape was silvered from the moon and, apart from the chuck of a night bird, it was silent.
“I love you, Josie.” The words, once said again, lodged themselves a little more firmly into who I was. They were a truth that was part of me, and the repetition burrowed them in a little deeper, made them more real, entwined them around my heart. “Maybe you’ve said those words to a lover before, but I haven’t. It’s the truth. But I know I’ve made it hard for you to believe what I’m now saying. For me, love is trust, and we didn’t have that trust between us.”
“I know.” She stared ahead at the silvered road leading straight as an arrow over the land. “That’s my fault. At first, I thought it wouldn’t matter because I would be moving on before there would be anything serious between us. Then I realised I was wrong, but it was too late. I’d already deceived you.”
I dared to take her hand. “We’re both at fault. And now I’m the one who held us back. You made it clear you wanted to make amends. I found that hard to accept. But for a long time, I couldn’t reconcile the feelings I had for you with the distrust. Even when I believed you about Flame, I couldn’t shift that belief across to us.”
“And can you now?” She halted and swung around to face me. Our linked hands were still between us. “Or will I stay with you and find there’s always that element of worry? Will it gnaw at you until you doubt every word I say?”
I thought of her actions when we were in Victoria. Then, she had done what she felt was right, both to set things straight between us, and to try and solve a crime, even if it potentially put her under suspicion. Those were the actions of an honest person.
I started to shake my head, but she dropped my hand and grasped my shoulders. “You can’t know that. Now you think you love me. But do you love me enough to trust me in your life? You still haven’t said what you’re offering. There’s no work for me in Worrindi. Oh, maybe in time, something would open up, but I don’t have any security to fall back on. I need to work.”
“I can’t offer you a job, not one with a roster and decent wages paid every week.”
“I didn’t think you could. But I’m not going to live with you and sponge off you, Felix. That’s not my way.”
“I know that.” The offer I wanted to make hovered on my tongue. But I didn’t know how Josie felt about me, and I didn’t want to ask. But I was damned either way. If she said she loved me, would I think it was to get something from me? But if I offered to share my life with her, and she didn’t love me, then I stood to lose a lot. My life as I knew it. My security.
I trusted Josie. I loved her. I had to go through with this, or else I would always wonder.
“I was thinking of a partnership. Move in with me. Work with me in the campground, with the horses. Initially, I’d pay you board and some money every week. It wouldn’t be what you’re worth or what you could earn at Glenoaks, though—I simply can’t afford that. But together, we could work to build the business. If it works out for us, then we’ll make it an official partnership.”
She was silent, and her eyes searched my face. Then she set her face towards the road again and resumed walking. “And us? What will our relationship be?”
I was surprised. Did she think that I was only offering a business partnership? I’d said I loved her. My instinctive response was to throw her question back to her: what do you want it to be? But I realised she knew what she wanted; she was making sure I wanted the same thing.
“I love you,” I said again. “I was thinking of a partnership in every sense. Live and love together. Share a room. Share a bank account. Share work and good times. Build our business together.”
“How do you know I won’t wait two years until the relationship is recognised in law and then take off, demanding half of everything?” She didn’t look at me but simply kept walking, her steps steady.
“You won’t,” I said. “I know you won’t. If you agree, I’ll know it’s because you love me as well and want to build a life with me, even if you haven’t said the words.”
“How can you know that?” Her voice was hard.
“I know you. Now I do.” I stopped. “I realised I believed you about Flame when we were in Victoria. And I know I hurt you when I said you were only a friend with benefits. I’m sorry. I should have said you were my girlfriend, my lover, my partner. But if those things are not what you want, well, I guess we’ll have to try and find time to meet up halfway between Glenoaks and Jayboro.”
“And if it doesn’t work?”
“We’ll meet that if it happens. That’s a risk you take in any relationship.”
She sighed and patted Tess’s head absently. Then she stopped again and swung around, back towards Worrindi.
“Let’s get back. I have to finish packing.”
Packing to go to Glenoaks. Then she would drive away in that battered red car of hers. Sure, I’d said we could meet halfway, but the reality was it was unlikely to happen often. A station cook worked hard, and my life was busy dawn to dusk. The long slide into misery started here.
I turned too. “I’ll help.” There would be no sleep for me that night. I might as well make the most of the time I had with her.
She slanted a glance at me. “I should hope so.” She took my hand again. “If I’m moving to Jayboro, the least you can do is help me pack.” Standing on tiptoes, she brushed her lips across mine. “We can do this, Felix. You and me. I love you too. I have done for a while now. Thank you for trusting me.”
And then, as joy swept through me like a sunrise spreading over the landscape, I caught her to me and kissed her, really kissed her. Tess pressed herself against our legs, and we kept on kissing on the long moonlit road until we didn’t have breath. Then we drew apart. I smiled at her, my heart bursting with hope and all that was now between us.
“Let’s go home to Jayboro.”
ABOUT CHEYENNE BLUE
Cheyenne Blue’s fiction has been included in over ninety erotic anthologies since 2000, including Best Lesbian Erotica; Best Women’s Erotica; All You Can Eat: A Buffet of Lesbian Romance & Erotica; Sweat; Bossy; and Wild Girls, Wild Nights. She is the editor of Forbidden Fruit: stories of unwise lesbian desire, a 2015 finalist for both the Lambda Literary Award and Golden Crown Literary Award, and of First: Sensual Lesbian Stories of New Beginnings.
Her collected lesbian short fiction is published as Blue Woman Stories, volumes 1-3, with more to come. Under her own name, she has written travel books and articles and edited anthologies of local writing in Ireland. She has lived in the U.K., Ireland, the United States, and Switzerland, but now writes, runs, makes bread and cheese, and drinks wine by the beach in Queensland, Australia.
CONNECT WITH CHEYENNE:
Website/Blog: www.cheyenneblue.com
Twitter:@IamCheyenneBlue
OTHER BOOKS FROM YLVA PUBLISHING
www.ylva-publishing.com
NEVER-TIED NORA
(Girl Meets Girl Series—Book #1)
Cheyenne Blue
ISBN: 978-3-95533-452-9 (mobi), 978-3-95533-453-6 (epub)
Length: 38,000 words (131 pages)
Nora Kelly loves her carefree London life where there’s always a new woman to seduce. Her big Irish family tease her about her footloose ways, but she knows she’s in no danger of losing her heart.
Her family has only one rule when it comes to dating: Nora can date any woman she wants—as long as she’s not a Flannery. The Kellys and the Flannerys have been feuding ever since both families arrived in London from Ireland sixty years ago, and time has not lessened the hatred.
But never-tied Nora has just met the woman of her dreams, and suddenly commitment isn’t a dirty word. Trouble is, Geraldine is a Flannery.
Can Nora convince Ger that, despite their families, they are meant to be together?
FLINGING IT
G Benson
ISBN
: 978-3-95533-683-7 (mobi), 978-3-95533-684-4 (epub)
Length: 113,000 words (376 pages)
Frazer, head midwife at a hospital in Perth, Australia, is trying to make her corner of the world a little better by starting up a programme for at-risk parents. Not everyone is excited about her ideas. Surrounded by red tape, she finally has to team up with Cora, a social worker who is married to Frazer’s boss.
Cora is starting to think her marriage is beyond saving, even if she wants to. Feeling smothered by a domineering spouse, she grabs hold of the programme and the distraction Frazer offers with both hands. Soon the two women get a little too close and find themselves in a situation they never dreamed themselves capable of: an affair.
As the two fall deeper, both are torn between their taboo romance and their morals. But walking away from each other may not be as simple as they thought.
WHERE THE LIGHT PLAYS
C. Fonseca
ISBN: 978-3-95533-418-5 (mobi), 978-3-95533-419-2 (epub)
Length: 97,000 words (285 pages)
Andi Rey is an impassioned artist who lives on the glorious Surf Coast of Victoria, Australia. Grounded by her family and her surroundings, Andi is focused on her first solo exhibition. Until Caitlin Quinn, an alluring Irish art historian, drops into Andi’s life and ignites a storm of longing.
A mutual love of art and the natural environment draws the two women together. But tension builds, and career expectations and cultural differences keep them apart.
Can Caitlin and Andi overcome their individual challenges to negotiate their future together?
TIMES OF OUR LIVES
Jane Waterton
ISBN: 978-3-95533-414-7 (mobi), 978-3-95533-415-4 (epub)
Length: 60,500 words (244 pages)
Set against the backdrop of OWL Haven, Australia’s first exclusively lesbian retirement community, an irreverent cast of residents share their lives, hopes and dreams together.
At 65, Meg Sullivan is very clear about what and who she wants in life. Despite a string of lovers Meg’s first loyalty has always been to her best friend, Allie Richards. After reading about OWL Haven in a magazine, she knows the lesbian retirement village would be perfect for them both.
Allie Richards has shared the best part of her life with Meg. For over forty years they’ve traveled the world, and love and trust each other completely. Moving to OWL is perfect, as a new group of friends join their comfortable circle of two.
After her last relationship ended, Sparrow Hopkins was left with a broken heart. Quietly resigned to being alone for the rest of her life Sparrow discovers a feisty, vibrant group of women who are not afraid to take chances. Despite her promise to never fall in love again, life, as she is to find out, has other plans.
Pat and Bella have been together for nearly fifty years. To them OWL represents the secure and loving community they rarely experienced in the homophobic Sydney of the 60’s. But life is never simple, and safety is sometimes elusive as they face their own personal challenges.
Daphne Williams has always been a loner. Despite her preconceptions of retirement villages she discovers peace and happiness at OWL Haven. However, when her tightly controlled world goes into freefall, Daphne has to make a major decision. Does she keep control or open up a new world of joy and hope.
Through laughter, tears, and joy these woman prove that no matter what your age, you’re never too old to fall in love.
COMING FROM YLVA PUBLISHING
www.ylva-publishing.com
YOU’RE FIRED
Shaya Crabtree
When poor college student Rose Walsh gives out an inappropriate gag gift at her office Christmas party, it backfires horribly. The gift’s recipient is her boss, the esteemed president of Gio Corp., Vivian Tracey, and the only thing that can save Rose now is her smarts.
Instead of firing her, Vivian blackmails math major Rose into joining her on a business trip to New York to investigate an embezzlement. A week out of state with a woman she can barely stand seems like the last thing Rose wants to do with her winter vacation. Only, maybe Vivian is not as bad as she seems. Maybe they can even become friends…or more.
HOLD MY HAND
AC Oswald
Bethany is heartbroken when her girlfriend, Savannah, dumps with no explanation. Slowly, she rebuilds her life, meets Amber and begins to heal.
A year later they meet again and their feelings are as strong as ever. So why did Savannah leave her?
Bethany is devastated by the answer and realises she will lose Savannah again – to cancer.
In a world where time is fleeting but love lasts forever, Savannah and Bethany can only hold onto each other and live every dream they ever shared.
Fenced-In Felix
© 2016 by Cheyenne Blue
ISBN (mobi): 978-3-95533-707-0
ISBN (epub): 978-3-95533-708-7
Also available as paperback.
Published by Ylva Publishing, legal entity of Ylva Verlag, e.Kfr.
Ylva Verlag, e.Kfr.
Owner: Astrid Ohletz
Am Kirschgarten 2
65830 Kriftel
Germany
www.ylva-publishing.com
First edition: 2016
No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to locales, events, business establishments, or actual persons—living or dead—is entirely coincidental.
Credits
Edited by Jove Belle & Michelle Aguilar
Proofread by Zee Ahmad
Cover Design & Print Layout by Streetlight Graphics
Fenced-In Felix Page 27