Shaking his head, he stepped away from her.
Disappointment burrowed in her gut. He wanted a home, but he didn’t want one here. And why would he? Just because she wanted him to stay didn’t mean he felt the same. He had things to do, wildlife to study.
The sooner Leann moved into an apartment, the sooner she could create some much-needed distance between her and Michael. She’d been foolish to spend so much time with him. He’d be leaving soon, and she’d be here. Trying not to think of him.
Chapter Seven
Michael wanted this. All of it.
Sunday evening, children dressed as shepherds, angels and sheep recited verses from the second chapter of Luke at the front of the church. A scaled-down replica of a stable had been set up, and two teens were playing the parts of Mary and Joseph. One little shepherd was waving his staff like a lightsaber, and two of the sheep were giggling.
He wanted to sit in the same row as his parents watching the nativity play each year. He wanted a wife and family to celebrate the holidays with. He longed to see his own children dressed as sheep and shepherds and angels up front.
He wanted to build a real life. A full one. He might even want it right here in Sunrise Bend.
And the thought terrified him and filled him with hope at the same time.
Leann sat next to him, her delicate perfume teasing his senses. When the kids finished their recitation, soft harp music drifted from the loudspeakers. His niece, Rachel, a sheep, lifted her hand high in the air to wave to them. Sunni jumped up on the pew to wave back to her. Leann tried to lower Sunni’s arm, but the child continued to wave, yelling, “Raycho,” and, red-faced, Leann shushed her.
David and Kelli were seated on the other side of his parents. Earlier when they’d arrived, he’d nodded and said a silent prayer of thanks that he hadn’t had to speak to either of them. Their toddler son, Bobby, sat on Mom’s lap and pretended to make a toy car fly through the air. Whispers had traveled to Michael that his brother and Kelli had left the baby at home with a babysitter. Like he cared.
Shame skittered over his skin. This was his family. He should care.
It was sad that he felt closer to Sunni than to his own niece and nephews. He barely knew David’s children. They seemed like cute, polite kids. With a lot of energy. But the same could be said about most children.
Did he really want to go through the rest of his life estranged from his brother? Not knowing his kin?
The children sang a short song, and the pastor read from the Bible before launching into a sermonette about trust. How Joseph had to trust God by marrying Mary, who was pregnant. How Mary had to trust God by traveling to Bethlehem at the end of her pregnancy.
“The book of Proverbs tells us to ‘Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.’ This Christmas season, I ask you to look inward. Are you acknowledging Him? Do you trust Him? Really trust Him? Even when things are going wrong? God loves you. You can count on Him to direct your path. You’ll never regret it. Amen.”
The choir began singing “Silent Night,” leaving Michael to ponder the pastor’s words. He’d been on his current career path for a long time. Had God directed him there? Probably. Getting out of town and staying out had seemed like the only way forward after finding out about his brother’s betrayal. And in the ensuing years, he hadn’t considered other options.
Michael glanced at Leann as she sang the hymn. She looked peaceful. Content.
He’d love to have someone like her by his side.
A flash of blond hair at the end of the row caught his eye. Kelli stood and walked to the back of the church. Seeing her no longer affected him. Sure, she was pretty, but her looks didn’t do anything for him like they had back when they’d dated.
But...if he’d been wrong about Kelli, who was to say he wasn’t wrong about Leann, too?
Leann was more grounded than Kelli had been. She was older, more mature. Had a child to raise. But it didn’t change the fact that he barely knew her. She seemed interested in him, but maybe it was circumstantial. Would she still look at him like he was her personal hero after her car was fixed and she moved into an apartment?
He’d be gone soon, anyhow.
What if he stayed?
His heart began to thump.
Sunni yawned and held her arms up to him. He lifted her onto his lap, and she settled in, resting her dark curls against his chest.
After Christmas, there wouldn’t be parades and festivities. January brought bitter cold weather and not much else. The question was—did he want to spend it in Alaska or here?
And if he chose Sunrise Bend, would Leann be interested in getting to know him better?
He wished he knew the answer.
* * *
“He’s so precious.” Leann couldn’t get over how exquisite little Owen was. Kelli had been bouncing him to get him to stop crying when Leann asked if she could hold him. Looking desperate, Kelli had thrust the baby to her, but Leann’s wrist was still tender, so she’d sat on the couch and waited for Kelli to set him in her arms.
He’d cried and cried for ten minutes, but keeping him on her lap, Leann had rolled him onto his tummy and patted his back until his cries dwindled to a whimper. Then she’d turned him over once more and held him gently, not putting pressure on her wrist, until he’d fallen asleep.
“I haven’t held a baby in forever. Sunni is growing up too fast.” Leann traced his tiny eyebrows with her index finger, reveling in his soft baby skin. “I could just eat him up. He’s darling.”
“You know what’s darling?” Kelli set a tray of cheese and crackers on the coffee table in front of several women from church. “Listen. Do you hear that? He’s not crying.”
The women laughed, and Leann agreed. No crying was a good thing.
The men stood in a group in the adjoining den where a football game played on the television. Giggles and excited chatter could be heard from the corner where half a dozen small kids played with toys. With Bumbles in her lap, Sunni sat cross-legged next to Rachel. The girls looked as happy as could be.
As the women discussed holiday plans, Leann took it all in. The big house. The friends. The kids. The fire in the fireplace. Frank tugging Patty under the mistletoe and kissing her on the cheek. Patty blushing and waving at him. “Oh, Frank, stop!” Frank pulling her closer and giving her a chaste kiss on the lips. “Frank!” He grinned, winking at her before heading back into the den with the guys.
Leann wanted this.
All of it.
A house, a fireplace, friends and—she glanced at Michael, who was standing in the den off to the side staring at his phone—a husband. A man who would stick around and love her. Marry her. Give her another baby.
She sighed and looked down tenderly at Owen once more.
Michael would probably leave after the holidays, so there was no point weaving a fantasy with him as the husband of her dreams.
His discomfort at being here was obvious. He’d barely said two words. She peeked his way again, but he wasn’t in the den. Where had he gone? Was the party too much for him? Did being here remind him of how much he missed Kelli?
A lump formed in her throat, and she forced herself to concentrate on the baby. If she’d been smarter like Luke’s new wife or vivacious like Kelli, maybe she’d have a husband, a house, a room full of friends.
Leann had never been at the same level as women like them.
“I didn’t have a chance to tell you my news earlier.” Hannah smooshed in next to her on the couch.
“What is it? What’s going on?” Leann willed her emotions to settle. No pity parties. Not tonight.
“One of the second-grade teachers is going on maternity leave in early February, and Sunrise Bend Elementary hired me to be her long-term substitute. Isn’t it great?”
<
br /> “It’s wonderful! Congratulations, Hannah.” She tried to reach over to give her a hug, but she didn’t want to disturb the baby, so she patted her arm instead.
“Let me take this little butterball.” Patty swept Owen into her arms, cradling him. “Look at those cheeks.”
“I know,” Leann said. “He’s just the cutest.”
After Patty took Owen, Hannah crossed one leg over the other. “Everyone told me I’d probably have to move far away to get a teaching job, but I’ve always wanted to teach here. It’s home.”
“I understand, and I think getting experience through substituting is a smart move. Who knows? Maybe someone will retire, and the school will snatch you up.”
“I hope you’re right. I wish Michael would stick around, too. I miss him. It’s been great having him home for more than forty-eight hours.”
Leann didn’t know what to say, so she nodded in agreement.
“Now I need to find myself a boyfriend.” Hannah pretended to dust off her shoulders. “When you settle in at the store, you’ll have to let me know if you hear of any single hotties in town.”
Leann laughed. “I’ll make it my mission. Any preferences?”
“Well, he needs to be comfortable on horseback. A hard worker. And cute. Very cute.”
“No problem. I’ll get right on it.” She glanced around the living room. “Could you direct me to the powder room?”
“Sure.” Hannah pointed toward the kitchen. “Pass the kitchen and take a right down the hall. It’s across from David’s study.”
“Thanks.”
Leann stood and checked on Sunni before following Hannah’s directions. The fact that Hannah would be sticking around Sunrise Bend was a good thing. She liked Michael’s energetic sister. She hoped to get to know her better.
And, like Hannah, she wished Michael would stick around town, too.
As Leann approached the powder-room door, she heard male voices nearby.
“You’re not over Kelli, are you?” She recognized David’s voice. Her heartbeat began to pound. She expected Michael to reply, but when he didn’t, she darted into the powder room and locked the door.
Maybe it would be better if Michael didn’t stay after the holidays. She was already halfway in love with him, and if he was still pining for Kelli, Leann had no chance with him. None at all.
Chapter Eight
“Is that what you think?” Michael asked quietly. David had dragged him into the study a few minutes ago, and Michael hadn’t put up a fight. This evening had given him clarity. He was tired of hanging on to resentment and bitterness over the past. He was ready to let it go.
“I don’t know.” David padded to the window then turned back to him. “You won’t talk to me.”
“You haven’t exactly tried.”
“I’m sorry, Michael. I am.” David sighed. “When you introduced me to Kelli right before you left for that research job, I was fully prepared to do as you asked and look out for her.”
Michael ground his teeth together. As much as he wanted to interject with a snide comment, he held his tongue.
“I didn’t mean to fall in love. Every time I told myself to put the brakes on my feelings, I’d see her smile and forget everything.”
What kind of apology was this? Michael balled his hands into fists.
“But it was wrong. I was wrong. I knew it then, and I know it now. I’m sorry. I want my brother back. I miss you. I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you. Can you ever forgive me?”
All the tension building in Michael’s chest began to subside. Over the years, he’d pictured himself screaming at David for betraying him, but the apology changed things. Michael found he didn’t care all that much anymore. Seeing Kelli at church and here at their house did nothing for him. Dad was right. Kelli wasn’t the woman for him.
Michael only had eyes for Leann.
“I needed to hear it, David.” Michael stood tall. “I forgive you.”
“Just like that?” David frowned.
“Yeah. I’ve been over Kelli for a long time. What I wasn’t over was what you did. I’ve missed you, too.”
“I should have apologized a long time ago. I’m sorry.” He looked thoughtful. “Have you been serious with anyone? Like the research partner you always team up with?”
“Jan?” Michael laughed. “Nope. We’re colleagues. Nothing more.”
“Anyone else?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I haven’t had feelings for anyone since Kelli, okay?” The words were true...well, they had been up until a few days ago when he’d met Leann.
An awkward silence grew between them.
“What’s next for you?” David asked. “This is the longest you’ve been home in years.”
“I’m not sure. Jan has a research gig lined up in Alaska. She wants me to join her.”
“I’m surprised you haven’t jumped at the chance.”
Michael was, too. But something felt different this year. He’d known he needed to be here with his family. “I guess I need a little time to figure out my next step.”
“What are the options?” David moved closer to him.
“Alaska, obviously.” He couldn’t quite believe he and David were having a normal conversation. Like nothing had ever happened. But it had happened...
Let it go.
“And I get calls every other month about working as a game warden for the state of Wyoming.” Michael didn’t want the job. Lately, a different future enticed.
“You’d be great at it,” David said. “Where would you live?”
“I don’t know. Haven’t crossed that bridge. Working the cattle this past week with Dad’s been nice. Real nice.”
“Are you saying...?” David’s face lit up.
“I’m considering it.”
“If you took over the ranch...man, that would be great! I’d love to have you back.”
Strange how full his heart suddenly felt after being shriveled into a tight knot for so long.
“Like I said, I’ve got some thinking to do. I haven’t talked to Dad yet, either, so keep a lid on it.”
“Well, keep thinking. I’m here if you want to talk. Just imagine, if you moved back, we could watch football together, take a ski trip, go hunting...” David pulled him into a hug. “Thanks for showing me grace, Michael. I love you.”
His throat tightened. “I love you, too.”
Well, wonders never ceased. He had his brother back.
What else would this Christmas have in store for him?
* * *
Her heart was on the verge of crumbling. It wasn’t Michael’s fault she liked him so much. Leann washed her hands and checked her appearance in the mirror. This room, like the rest of the house, was luxurious and welcoming. The thick, fluffy towel was a far cry from her own threadbare ones packed into boxes in a storage facility back home.
It was time to mentally move on.
Tomorrow she was calling the apartment complex Michael had suggested, but she had a feeling she’d be putting a deposit down on the apartment above the candy shop instead. The location was perfect, and the size was just right for her and Sunni. After Leann banked a couple paychecks, she’d buy a few things for their place. New hand towels had jumped to the top of her list.
Making a home, a nice life, had been her objective all along. Not falling for the handsome man who was still carrying a torch for her boss.
She checked the mirror once more before striding out to the hall and back to the living room. She would just have to keep a smile plastered on her face and get through this party as best as she could.
Sitting on the couch once more, she couldn’t help but stare at Kelli, who tilted her head back to laugh at something one of the women said.
Kelli with her sh
iny wavy blond hair. Wearing a tasteful cream satin blouse nipped at the waist with tiny bows at the sleeves. She looked put-together, stunning, sophisticated. Her eyes sparkled. She was the epitome of a gracious hostess—charming, self-deprecating. No wonder Michael had been in love with her. Still might care for her. What guy wouldn’t?
Sunni toddled over to Leann and plopped Bumbles on the couch next to her. Yawning, she tried to climb onto Leann’s lap but couldn’t quite get there. Leann tugged with her good hand and helped her up. Wrapping her arms around her sweet daughter, she kissed her curls.
“You tired, sweetie?”
“Bubba go night night.” Sunni snuggled the rabbit and sank into Leann’s arms.
“He’s pretty tuckered out, isn’t he?” She rested her temple against Sunni’s head and inhaled the baby shampoo she’d used to wash her hair. Sunni and Bumbles weren’t the only ones who were tired. Weariness sank into Leann’s bones, and the conversations around her seemed to fade into the background.
Noticing movement, she glanced over and caught Michael staring at her. The gleam in his eye was appreciative.
Her cheeks grew warm. The way he was looking at her...
Could she be wrong about him still pining for Kelli?
She averted her gaze. The long pause after David had asked him point-blank if he was over Kelli had been telling. And even if he was over her, it didn’t change anything. He loved his job, and that meant living in the wilderness for long lengths of time. Leann suppressed a sigh. The way his face had brightened when he’d told her about the things he did to research fish had said it all. He had a passion—a gift—for his work.
Which meant after Christmas, he’d be moving on.
And she’d be moving on, too. Here. With Sunni. All she had to do was think of the day Luke had told her he was moving to Costa Rica to remind herself of the promise she’d made. The only guy she’d consider dating was one who would be around for her and her precious girl.
Too bad the one man she wanted was Michael. All of the kindness he’d shown her over the previous days piled up like precious gifts in her heart. It wasn’t his fault she’d grown feelings for him. Just because she was disappointed didn’t mean she couldn’t show him how much she appreciated everything he’d done for her.
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