by L. P. Dover
Taking a seat beside him, I leaned over and placed a tender kiss on his lips for reassurance. “You don’t need to worry so much. Now, if you’re a serial killer or something like that I might have to reconsider,” I said teasingly. “How bad could this possibly get?”
He shrugged. “Well the good thing is that I’m not a serial killer, but it’s only going to be as bad as you let it. There have been some scandals floating around the media, so if you’re going to be with me I need you to be prepared and hear them from me first.”
Staring at him wide-eyed, I sat back against the couch, feeling weary and confused. My heart was thundering out of my chest, and it hurt to breathe.
“What the hell, Alec. Who are you?” I sputtered. “Scandals? Media? What exactly do I need to be prepared for?”
Alec took my hand and kissed my knuckles. “One day, Marissa, I’ll be leaving here as well, just like you. It was never my intention to stay here forever, but I kind of had to.”
“Where are you going? Back to California?” I asked, my heart constricting with the thought of him being so far away.
He shrugged. “I’m not sure yet. I’ll decide when the time comes. One of the reasons I came out here was because of my aunt as you already know, but what you don’t know is …”
He paused and bit his lip, hesitating.
“What is it, Alec? Spit it out. You’ve gotten this far, so keep going.”
“Coming out here was also part of my probation. My first year here, I lived with my aunt before I was given permission to get my own place,” he added sheepishly.
“Probation for what?” I asked hesitantly. “Did you get arrested?”
Alec shook his head. “I’ll get to that in just a minute. I want to start at the beginning.”
He placed his laptop in my lap and pressed down on the keyboard to make the black ‘sleep’ screen disappear. When it cleared I was met with the steely blue eyes of the man I’d given myself to over the past couple of weeks.
Except, the person on the screen was different; he had shoulder-length blond hair, and was smirking at the camera while holding onto a surfboard. It was the same surfboard in his room.
“Wow, you look so different,” I gasped, surprised. “When was this taken?”
He smiled sadly. “That one was taken back in 2008 at the Pipe Masters surfing competition in Tahiti.”
“Are you serious?” I squealed. Wow, I’m impressed.
I glanced around his room at all the surfing pictures splayed on his walls, and pointed to them. “So when you were surfing in those pictures you were actually competing?” I asked. He nodded somberly and smiled as if remembering those days so long ago.
“Did you ever win?”
He chuckled. “Oh, I won a lot, baby, but I also lost a lot when I decided to do stupid things.”
“So let me get this straight … you’re a pro surfer who’s probably worth millions of dollars and you’re sitting here in this mediocre apartment in NC? Is that what you’re telling me?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Okay, so where is the bad in all of this. Did you have a problem with alcohol and drugs? Is that why you were arrested? It seems to be the trend nowadays with celebrities.”
“Yeah, that’s true and unfortunately I did fall into the traps of temptation. I was stupid and took things a little too far sometimes.”
“Did you ever go to rehab?” I asked curiously.
His smile faded and he took a deep breath. “This is my rehab, Marissa,” he explained, motioning to our surroundings. “Like I said, this is part of my probation. I had to give up everything and come here.” Alec reached over and clicked on a different picture on his computer. It was a newspaper article that read, “Karey Holden, local surfing legend, almost dies of overdose.” Also, beside the article was a picture of him.
“Are they talking about you?” I shrieked incredulously, anger beginning to build. “Karey Holden? Are you telling me I don’t even know your real name?”
How could he be intimate with me and not tell me his real name? I started to get off the couch, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back down.
“No,” he answered quickly, before I could get even more upset and leave. “Karey, is my first name. It’s the name I went by when I surfed, but Alec is the name my family and friends call me. It’s actually my middle name.”
He let go of my arm, and I took a few deep breaths so I could calm down. “Thank goodness for that. If not, that was going to be a deal breaker for me,” I answered honestly.
Alec lowered his head and nodded. “I was supposed to use a different name out here to keep my identity hidden, but I couldn’t bring myself to lie to you. Most people think I’m in rehab out in California right now.”
“How did you get away without it leaking to the press?”
“We devised a plan to have the press follow me to the rehab center, except it wasn’t me in the car. The guy was a decoy so that I could get away and make them all think I was going into rehab. For a while now things have gotten quiet. My parents were livid with me, but they made a deal with the judge to let me come out here and work out my probation. Money talks, Marissa, and I’m not proud of it, but I’m glad I didn’t have to go to jail.”
“What did you get busted for? Did you get caught with the drugs?” I asked.
He sighed, closing his eyes. “Yes, that was part of it. Look, I’m going to let you look through what I’ve marked on my laptop. I’ll answer any and all your questions you might have, and I know you’re going to have a ton. Just remember, the shit you read on the internet isn’t always true and it always looks worse than what it is, especially when it comes to people like me.”
Alec kissed me on the cheek, then grabbed some magazines and moved to the loveseat across the room. My eyes met his briefly, concern etched across his face, before I engrossed myself in the scandals of Karey Alec Holden. I gasped when I saw the next picture bookmarked on his laptop.
The man described in the online ads and websites was not the guy that was sitting across the room from me. There were the good pictures of him at his surf meets holding the trophies and looking so carefree and full of life, but then there were the others that showed a darker side.
There were ones of him angry and bloody from bar fights, and articles stating how we was thrown out of popular hot spots because of it. He had the reputation of a bad boy with a volatile temper as well as a known playboy bachelor. There were a slew of photographs with him and different women, some of them I recognized as Hollywood starlets and famous models.
I looked nothing like those women, and it made me wonder what he saw in me. Why would he want me when he could have someone like that? Was I going to be just another notch in his belt? Or better yet, was I someone he could slum around with freely since the world thought he was still in California? I thought I was a very beautiful girl, and I was confident with myself, but never would I think to compare myself to the star elite. I didn’t have millions of dollars to burn.
The last article I had yet to read was the worst one yet. It read, “Karey Holden Investigated for Girl’s Death.” I felt sick, but I knew I had to read it. Shifting in my seat, my eyes strayed from the screen and landed on Alec. He looked nervous and pale, and completely transfixed on me and my reactions. I wonder how long he’d been watching me. I turned my body away so that I couldn’t see him staring at me over the top of the computer.
After five agonizing minutes, I read the full article, and slowly closed Alec’s laptop, setting it on the couch. Alec got up from the table, but I held up my hand.
“Stop,” I said, halting him in place.
“Marissa, please. You have to talk to me. I don’t want to hide anything from you, that’s why I told you and let you see those things. I’m not like the Karey Holden you read about anymore. I’ve been clean for three years now, and I haven’t gotten into any trouble since I’ve been here. Just please don’t shut me out. You’re the first rea
l person I’ve met that I’ve been able to be myself around with no pressure and I don’t want to lose that.”
He started toward me again, but I moved back. The pained expression on his face killed me, and I wanted to kiss him and tell him everything would be okay, but I couldn’t. I needed time to process everything I saw.
“You said you wouldn’t run away from me, Marissa. I was trusting you.”
“I’m not running away, Alec. Can I not have some time to process all of this?” I huffed and walked out the door to get some fresh air.
The day was beautiful, full of blue sky and a thin draping of clouds while the air smelled fresh and clean from the rain the night before. Closing my eyes, I breathed in the fresh mountain air and tried desperately to keep from crying. Why did Alec have to have such a damaged past?
Taking some deep breaths, I leaned over the railing and rested my head down on my arms. I could hear Alec approaching cautiously behind me with his soft steps on the wooden walkway. His arm brushed against mine as he stepped up beside me and leaned over the railing, too.
“Ask me anything, Marissa, and I’ll tell you the truth. I have nothing to hide now.”
I scoffed and lifted my head, but instead of looking at him I gazed out at the rolling mountains off in the distance. “You know, Alec, the drugs and alcohol I can handle. Especially now since I know that it’s in your past and you don’t abuse it anymore. As far as the girl who died, I saw where it was rendered an overdose and an accidental drowning, but it doesn’t excuse the fact that you gave her the drugs and almost died in the process. It was stupid, but you don’t need me lecturing you on that because I’m sure the guilt you feel is punishment enough.”
“You have no idea,” he said, hanging his head.
“Was she your girlfriend?” I asked, but then caught myself and laughed at the ridiculousness of that question. Judging by the pictures I saw, Karey Holden didn’t have girlfriends; he had a freaking horde of sluts. If she was his girlfriend she was one of many.
Still laughing sardonically, I turned to glare at Alec whose jaw was clenched and fists tight. However, he did return my stare, accepting my anger.
“Oh, but wait … you don’t have girlfriends, do you?” I sneered. “You sure did get around didn’t you?”
My breathing was ragged, and I was angry. Why was I getting so angry? Oh, I knew why, but I didn’t want to admit it to myself. I’d fallen for him against my better judgment, and it hurt. It hurt to see him with all those women, knowing he’d probably fucked hundreds of them, and to also know he was responsible for another one’s death. That burden would stay with him forever and wherever we went it would follow.
Alec sighed and answered honestly, “No, Marissa that girl was not my girlfriend, and no, I didn’t do the girlfriend thing back then. It’s just how it was.”
“I could tell,” I snapped. “And why would you when you had hundreds of girls falling at your feet every night? Hopefully, you used a condom each time. It’s disgusting thinking about how many women you’ve probably had in your bed. How many Alec? Hundreds?”
Alec growled and grabbed my arms to turn me around to face him. “Dammit, Marissa, stop! This is the reason why I didn’t want to tell you. All of those girls only wanted me for the status and for the money, and never once did I not use a condom. I may have been stupid, but I wasn’t that stupid.”
“Thank God for that,” I hissed, trying to get free. He wouldn’t let me go so I continued, “So are you slumming it with me until you go back? Is that all I am to you here? I’ve seen the girls you were with Alec. I’m not glamorous and worth a million dollars like them. I refuse to be a toy that you can discard when you go back to your prestigious life.”
He held me tighter and pulled me to him. “You are more beautiful than all of those women put together. You’re smart, funny, strong, and definitely a girl that has dreams and a future; it’s something I long to have. You’ve given me hope, Marissa. Hope that someone someday could actually love me for being me, and not what I represent.”
Alec let one of my arms go and twisted a strand of my hair through his fingers. “I was hoping that someone would be you,” he whispered to me with such longing in his voice. “I’m falling in love with you, Marissa, and I know I’ve never experienced it before, but I know that’s what this is.” He took my hand and placed it over his heart. “Do you feel how fast my heart is beating?”
It thumped wildly under my hand, and mine was thumping just as hard in my chest. I looked up into his clear blue eyes and answered softly, “Yes.”
“It only beats like that when you touch me. I can’t think of anything else without seeing your face. I don’t want to imagine you not being here anymore, but for now I want to enjoy my time with you while I have it. I know you feel the same way when we make love.”
I gasped and it made him smile. Softly, he muttered, “Yeah, you heard me right. I may be wrong about how you feel, but I’m not going to deny my feelings. I want you, and only you. Other than the garbage you saw on the computer, I’ve never given you a reason to doubt me. You are all I see, and I promise I won’t do anything to hurt you. Please tell me you’ll give me a chance to prove it?”
He took my face in his hands and searched my eyes for an answer. Did I want to take that chance, and risk the fear of him hurting me? Did I want to trust him even though my head was screaming for me to run? What was I going to do?
Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly. Softly, I started to speak, “Alec, I—”
However, that was as far as I’d gotten before Alec crushed his lips to mine and lifted me into his arms. Instantly, I melted and opened myself up to the wave of feelings that crashed over me. “Is this a yes?” he breathed, reluctantly breaking away from the kiss.
I closed my eyes and sighed. When I opened them, I saw the love in Alec’s gaze and I relented. “You have one chance, Alec. If you screw up just once I’m done. Prove to me you can do this. I know no one is perfect and I’m far from it, but I need to know you won’t hurt me.”
He leaned his forehead against mine and smiled. “I promise I’m not going to hurt you and thank you for giving me this chance. I won’t let you down, sunshine.”
“Why do you call me that?” I asked curiously.
“I told you once before, you’re the light to my endless world of darkness. You’re my hope.” He still had me lifted in his arms so I encircled mine around his shoulders and wrapped my legs around his waist. His hands came to rest on my ass, holding me in place.
“What are we going to do now? Please tell me there aren’t any more secrets I need to know.”
Alec chuckled and held me tighter. “No, there are no more secrets, Marissa. But what I am going to do is take you to my room and make love to you … all day long.”
His heated gaze penetrated me through to my core, and I instantly grew wet with the thought of making love to him for the rest of the day. Sighing, I bit his lip, making him hiss, and ran my tongue over it.
“I think I can live with that,” I muttered in all honesty.
Alec carried me to his room and gently laid me down on his bed; the stress of the night washed away in a matter of minutes. I kicked off my shoes and socks, and propped myself up on my elbows, watching him. “I assume we’re not going hiking today?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.
Grinning, Alec peeled off his shirt and his pants. “Nope, not today. The only time we’re leaving this room is if we get hungry.”
“I think I’ll be fine. You did force me to eat a large breakfast after all.”
Alec crawled across the bed, naked and fully aroused, and towered over me. “I know this is a personal question, but are you on birth control?”
I nodded, curious as to why he asked. “Yes, I’ve been taking the pill for five years now.”
He groaned as he pulled my shirt over my head and unhooked my bra. “Good, because I want to feel the heat inside of you when I make love to you.”
Alec pulled down my y
oga pants with ease and slid off my underwear, leaving me bared to him. “You have no idea how lucky I am,” he whispered to me.
I smiled. “Just don’t forget it.” Neither of us was perfect, but for the time being I was his and he was mine. I just prayed he didn’t screw it up.
Alec glided his hands up my legs and gently spread them apart. “Are you ready for me, baby?”
“When am I not?” I replied huskily.
He bit his lip and moaned when he slid his fingers into my slick heat. “Damn, that’s hot,” he groaned, pulling his fingers out. He traced my nipples with his fingers to spread my desire over the sensitive peaks. Immediately, he leaned down and licked the areas his fingers traced, tasting my wetness.
“You taste so sweet, Marissa.”
I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him down to me. My hips moved against him, hoping to ease the ache between my legs. “Please, Alec, make love to me,” I whined softly.
He lifted up on his elbows and stared down at me, all fire and passion in his gaze. “Say it again,” he murmured. He grazed my opening with his erection and rubbed it against my clit. “Say it,” he repeated.
I placed my hands on his face and guided him down to my lips. The kiss was soft, sweet, and sensual, and not like any of the other kisses we’ve experienced. This one was just … more.
“I want you to make love to me, Alec.”
He grinned. “That’s all I wanted to hear.”
Slowly, and ever so gently, he entered me with the utmost care and sensuality. The rhythm was slow and delicious while his thrusts were deep and heartfelt. I had never been made love to like that, and I couldn’t believe I had missed out on what real love making was like. Alec was taking my heart and with each loving thrust he took more and more away for himself.
Alec kissed me gently, moaning with each movement of his hips gliding across mine. The sensation between my legs grew more and more urgent each time he moved against me.
“You feel so good, baby,” he uttered heatedly. I could feel his cock pulsate and lengthen inside me when I clenched my muscles tighter around him. We were both so close to losing control.