by Aileen Fish
She’d believed what she’d seen in his eyes.
But no more. Never again would she trust a man. Any man.
With new resolve, she slipped her tender toes into her shoe and went to see if her aunt was free. The drawing room doors were still closed. As she reached for the latch, she heard voices inside.
A man said, “You will want for nothing, I’ll see to it.”
Aunt Ophelia’s reply was too quiet for Joanna to understand. It must be Sir Jasper with her, and it sounded as if he’d proposed. How wonderful for her aunt. At least she was successful in love.
The man spoke again. “I am a skilled lover. My demimondes are always grateful for my attentions.”
Joanna shuddered and stepped back from the door. She should not be listening to such an intimate exchange. Especially since his words didn’t ring of love, or the passion lovers shared. They felt dirty. Degrading.
The man continued to sing his own praises. “As my mistress, you will be the envy of so many women. I’ve a box at the King’s Theatre and you may attend every night as you wish. I’ll escort you to any ball, or you may hold parties of your own in Westbourne House. And of course, I’ll see to it you are outfitted in the latest fashion.”
Westbourne.
He was not proposing, he wanted Aunt Ophelia as his latest demimonde. Joanna shuddered again and began to return to the morning room.
Aunt Ophelia’s voice stopped her. “You can offer me nothing that would entice me into your bed. I’ve refused your offers each time you made them. Why did you bother to come here today? My answer is unchanged. I’ll never be your mistress, your lover, or any other position you might offer.”
“Foolish woman. You don’t know the honor I give you. Many women throw themselves at my feet and beg me to show them some affection.”
“Well, perhaps you should offer one of them a hand up, rather than treading upon them like carpet. Not that they deserve you. No woman should suffer the belittlement you force her to endure. I ask one last time that you leave my home, before I call for my footman to escort you out.”
Footsteps drew near the door and Joanna scurried down the hall. She didn’t want her aunt to know she’d witnessed this embarrassing scene. Overwhelming doubt filled Joanna as she quietly latched the morning room door behind her. Perhaps her dream of love was truly that, a misty wish with no more substance than a dandelion seed on the wind. No one she knew had attained a lasting love without it ending in misery.
When she heard the entry door open and close, Joanna waited a moment, then stepped into the hallway. “Aunt Ophelia?”
Her aunt stopped at the foot of the staircase. “Joanna, darling. I didn’t know you’d stopped by. Did I forget about an invitation for this evening?”
“No. May we speak in private?” The hallway was empty, but the butler probably lurked nearby in case he was needed.
“Of course.” Aunt Ophelia motioned toward the morning room as she approached. Closing the door, she asked, “Shall I ring for tea?”
“Not on my account.” Joanna debated asking for something stronger, a glass of port, perhaps, to calm all the squeamishness brought on by Mr. Lumley and Westbourne. She sat in the chair near the fire where she usually perched when visiting. “I came to ask a favor. I wish to leave for Bath as soon as we may accomplish it. I can’t go home, and I can’t remain in London any longer.”
“What’s happened? Is it Sir Frederick, or something Robert has done?”
“Yes, and more.” She went on to detail her picnic with Mr. Lumley, his proposal, and the heated conversation between him and her brother.
Aunt Ophelia pressed a hand over her mouth for a moment, then clasped her hands in her lap again. “Are you certain you heard them correctly? I can’t picture either one of them acting in such a way. Accusing Robert of murder? The very idea your father or Robert would hurt a horse or a man... I don’t know Mr. Lumley well, of course, but he doesn’t seem the type to throw out accusations blindly. There must be more to the story.”
“I don’t care what led to it, Robert said he’d heard from the investigator the Lumleys had brought up his name. To think I was falling in love with such a man! Please say we may leave for Bath in the morning.”
“Robert would not allow you to leave, I thought. Not until you’ve accepted a marriage offer.”
“I’ve had two offers, and I can’t accept either one. What shall I do, Aunt? I would marry a widower with a nursery full of swaddled babes to avoid either of these men.”
“Let’s not be rash. Your chances of finding a match in Bath are poor at this time of year. Everyone is here in Town. Attending a race meeting with Robert is questionable. The men there will share your interest in runners, but how many seek a wife? You don’t have time to browse the market, so to speak. We must change our strategy. I’ll review the invitations we have received. I think it’s time we accept some of the less popular assemblies. The gentlemen there will have less cachet than at the ones we’ve been attending, but so will the ladies. You are the beautiful daughter of an earl, so you will quickly be the most popular lady present.”
Joanna sighed, accepting the plan of action. “You make it sound like a military battle. It’s difficult to continue to smile and be desirable company the way I feel now. I don’t know what Sir Frederick sees in me, why he’s singled me out for his attentions, but Mr. Lumley gained my trust while believing such horrid things about Robert. He can’t love me. I’ll never forgive him.”
David woke much too early and took Nemo for a jaunt to pass the time until he could call upon Joanna. He couldn’t wait to see her and tell her the great news. They had Northcotte’s approval, as surprising at it might seem.
The sun seemed brighter, the air clearer that morning. Seeing a girl with a basket full of flowers, David bought a posy of purple and yellow flowers before heading to Eaton Place and Lady Joanna’s home. It took all his nerve to keep from urging Nemo into a run, and still he arrived a bit early. He dismounted, holding the reins as he looked up at the town house. How soon could they marry? Would she want to be married from Hampshire, or would she be willing to let his mother hold another gala wedding breakfast at Bridgethorpe Manor? He had no preference, he simply wished for it to happen soon, so they might remove to Fernleigh and set up house as man and wife.
Checking his watch for the third time, he saw it was late enough to pay a call and he handed Nemo’s reins to an urchin loitering in hopes of earning a coin or two. David trotted up the steps and rapped with the doorknocker. Starley led him to the drawing room to await Lady Joanna.
Her arrival took longer than David expected, since she’d known he would come. Perhaps she was nervous about her appearance, and took extra pains with her toilette. He smiled when she entered, leaving the door open. David handed her the flowers, wanting to speak quickly before her maid arrived. “Your beauty is as bright as the morning sun.”
She looked up and he saw the shadows beneath her eyes, the pink rims of her lids. Her smile appeared false. “Thank you.” She moved to a chair and sat.
David followed, standing in front of her. “Is anything amiss? You seem a bit under the weather.”
“You just told me my beauty shines like the sun. I’m no longer sure what to believe from you.”
His gut tightened. Was this betrothal nerves speaking? “I am never false with you. You are always beautiful, but something is wrong this morning. I can feel it. Have I done something? Did Northcotte say anything untoward last night? He and I parted on good terms, so I cannot think what might have changed since I saw you last.”
“I’ve had a change of heart, Mr. Lumley. I can’t accept your kind offer of marriage. I’m sorry for any pain this causes you, but I’m sure it will be of short duration.”
Her words sounded like a child’s recitation, well rehearsed and without passion, and were completely the opposite of what he expected to hear. “What has happened?” With one finger beneath her chin, he lifted her face to meet her gaze. “Is
it Northcotte? Sir Frederick? I thought we were in agreement.”
“No, neither of those men. I do not wish to discuss it further. Please accept my refusal and go. Spare us any more pain.”
“This is it? I don’t deserve to know why you refuse me? If there is something that I’ve said, something I’ve done, that caused you injury, I beg you for the chance to redeem myself.”
“I came to know your true nature, if you must know. There’s nothing to be done for that.”
“What—how—” He turned away and stalked to the window, staring blindly at the garden beyond the window. The only thing he could think of that might have caused her to reconsider was his pig-headed obsession about Zephyr. “Is it because of Zephyr? If you will allow me to explain—”
“Allow you to explain what? You accused my brother of killing my friend, Bruce. If you believed that, how could you even consider marrying me? I cannot fathom how you thought we could have a happy life together while you believe Northcotte to be a murderer.” Her hands knotted around the handkerchief she clutched in her lap, but her eyes were dry. Red and filled with anger, not tears.
“Or was the plan to cry off, making me look a fool, and ending up unmarriageable? If that was all you wanted, you could have left me to Sir Frederick. Whatever his feelings toward me, at least he doesn’t think Robert is capable of killing a man.”
David gritted his teeth. She must have overheard their argument. Didn’t she hear what Northcotte said about Sir Frederick? Or had she stopped listening when Bruce’s death had come up?
Regardless, he couldn’t betray his promise to Northcotte not to say anything about her brother’s connection with Sir Frederick. Anything he said, in fact, came close to revealing what Northcotte fought so hard to conceal, and would not make David look any better in the end. He chose his words carefully. “After speaking with your brother last night, I learned some things about myself which were rather unpleasant. I believe he understood my reasons for acting, and thinking, as I had. I was in the wrong, I admit it, and Northcotte and I have come to an understanding about the past.”
He turned to face her, and slowly crossed to her chair. “I deeply regret anything I’ve done to cause you sadness. Your happiness has been foremost in my thoughts for some time now.”
The urge to beg for forgiveness nearly strangled him, but he drew in a deep breath and fought it. Groveling was not the way to atone for his sins. “I hope one day soon you will be able to look back on our friendship and smile at the fun we had. You are a pleasant companion. I wish you well, and will trespass upon your time no longer. Good day.” Performing his sharpest bow, he left the house.
As Nemo trotted beneath him down Eaton Place, David gauged from the position of the sun that Pierce would still be abed. David’s family had departed at daybreak for Bridgethorpe Manor, but he had no desire to speak to any of them at this moment. He needed to scream, chop wood or something to burn off the frustration roaring through his veins. She’d turned him down.
He knew from the start befriending Lady Joanna was the wrong thing to do. Yet he’d gone against his good sense and pushed ahead, consumed with the need to please his father. Knightwick had tried to talk him out of it, but he’d done so anyway. Barreled on with no thought of whom he might injure in the process.
No, that was wrong. He had thought about how it might affect Lady Joanna. He’d simply been so narrow-minded, he couldn’t convince himself to stop soon enough. Before he’d gained Lady Joanna’s friendship.
Before he’d fallen in love.
Now she was likely to end up married to Sir Frederick. Remembering the paper he’d signed at Northcotte’s behest, David realized that was not true. He drew Nemo to a stop. There was one thing he could do to see to Lady Joanna’s happiness. He reined his horse toward the office of his father’s man of business. He could arrange for the transfer of funds to Northcotte for the purchase of Patriot. After Stephen’s wedding, he would sign the horse over to Lady Joanna as planned. No matter whom she ended up marrying, she’d have the horse she loved to do with as she wished. And Northcotte would have the funds to pay off Sir Frederick.
As much as he’d planned the horse to be a wedding gift, he was grateful to have the means of making up for some of the pain he’d caused her. She might not love him any longer, but she’d know he was a man of his word, and he hadn’t been lying when he said her happiness was most important to him.
A small voice of doubt niggled at him. Had she ever loved him? He assumed she had. She’d quickly agreed to let him speak to Northcotte, but she never spoke of her own feelings. Perhaps he was twice the fool, falling for her as he sought his evidence, then believing she’d loved him in return. She needed a husband, any offer to save her from Sir Frederick. David might have simply been the lesser of two evils. The very thought stung him to the core.
Whether she’d loved him or not, she’d never have to see him again, unless she continued to attend race meetings where he was present. Maybe the next time her horse won, she’d think of him kindly as she celebrated.
Chapter Nineteen
Bridgethorpe Manor buzzed like an apiary with preparations for Stephen and Jane’s wedding breakfast. David escaped the bustle by hiding in the stables. He’d arrived late the night before, went to his room without seeing anyone, and slipped away in the morning while the others broke their fast.
There was nothing like shoveling stalls to clear his head. The physical exertion felt good after being in London for so long.
Knightwick peered over the stall door. “I thought I’d find you here. Our valet said you’d arrived last night. Are you hiding from Mother?”
Leaning on the handle of the shovel, David wiped his brow with his rolled-up sleeve. “I didn’t want to give her the chance to put me to work. I’m not good company this morning.”
“Mother has her list and her quill, and is enlisting the aid of everyone in sight.” Knightwick folded his arms across the stall door.
“Well, it is the first wedding in the family.”
“And the last for a while, unless Hannah rushes into something.”
David turned away, set the shovel to one side, and grabbed the rake. He didn’t want to think about weddings.
“You’re eager to work today,” Knightwick commented. “Frustrated about missing another race meeting?”
“No. I’ve sent word for Triton to be brought to the Chester meeting.”
“Good plan. Perhaps he’ll win, since Patriot won’t be this far north.”
David stopped and pushed his hair back from his face. He needed to inform his brother what had taken place, but didn’t enjoy the thought of going through it all again.
Knightwick opened the topic for him. “How is the fair Lady Joanna? Did you come to a determination about whether to continue your friendship with her?”
“There is no friendship between us anymore.” He pushed the stall door open, forcing Knightwick to step aside, and carried the shovel to the storage room. After putting the tools away, David rolled down his sleeves and pulled on his jacket.
“Has she accepted an offer of marriage from another man? From what I heard, you two were apparently quite enamored at her aunt’s card party.”
Combing his fingers through his hair, David looked toward the bright light washing through the open stable doors. The pain of her refusal still stabbed at him like a fresh wound. “It’s as you and Pierce warned me it would end. She and I had an understanding. I spoke to Northcotte. That didn’t begin well. He’s fully aware of the accusations we’ve made since Zephyr died. He wanted to refuse me, but it appears he hates Sir Frederick more than he does me.”
Knightwick folded his arms across his chest. “That’s not surprising. Has he had dealings with the bounder?”
“His father had.” David didn’t feel he was betraying Northcotte’s confidence, since the elder earl’s desire to win had affected the entire Lumley family in some ways.
“So Northcotte accepted your offer for Lady Jo
anna’s hand? This is great news.” Knightwick clapped a hand on his back. “I had a feeling things might be headed that way.”
“Northcotte accepted me, but Lady Joanna did not.”
“What? You said you had an understanding.”
David shook his head and swallowed down bile. “She heard us arguing. It was not a bloody brawl between Northcotte and me, but his words were heated, and I reacted more strongly than I should have. She must have been listening in the hallway.”
“That sounds like something Hannah would do. She didn’t allow you to explain your words?”
He shrugged. “I promised Northcotte I would not let her know how badly her father had damaged their finances. I shouldn’t even speak of it to you. Northcotte has almost paid off all his father’s debts. He wishes for his mother and sister to have nothing but happy memories of him.”
Nodding, Knightwick commented, “I imagine I’d have done the same.”
“All this time we’ve been at odds with the son, and he was merely acting as we would in his shoes. He’s more like we are than I suspected.”
“He and I were friends, once. At Harrow.” Knightwick’s eyes grew distant. “We ran in a small group and got on well. Somewhere down the road, our fathers had their differences. By the time we got to Cambridge, I guess we found it easier to avoid each other than confront the issue.”
“You never mentioned this.”
He shrugged. “Never had reason to. It makes no difference. That’s in the past. Perhaps if he spoke to Lady Joanna, she might understand why you did what you did.”
“What I did was unforgivable. Whether or not she comes to understand me one day, she deserves better than the way I treated her.” David noticed a spot of dung on the side of his boot and scraped his foot in the dirt.