Delilah's Flame

by Parnell, Andrea

  “So you used the occasion to reaffirm your wishes to have me leave.”

  “I wanted to prevent you seeing the stallion, but of course Papa thwarted my success at that.”

  “And then you couldn’t get rid of me.”

  “No,” Lilah said, wanting to add that she was glad to have failed. “After that I couldn’t see that I had any choice but to do as you asked if I was to prevent Papa from finding out what I had been doing.”

  “You must hate me for doing that to you.”

  “No—” Lilah started, but he interrupted.

  “After what my father had done to your family, I’m surprised you didn’t just shoot me.” He shook his head. “I don’t know any way to tell you how sorry I am, Lilah. I could hate myself for making it worse for you.”

  “No,” Lilah said. “I don’t hate you. I don’t blame you for what your father did. From what I’ve heard you and Sarah say, you suffered as much from him as I did.”

  But Tabor’s mind was no longer on his father or the rights and wrongs of his life. He was thinking of Lilah and how the time they had made love, it had seemed as if they were one. It rankled him to know she had given him her body to protect her secrets. It rankled him more to know he had demanded that price from her. He had taken her virginity and he could see that she still wasn’t ready to admit he was the first man to make love to her. He could understand that. She had pride. She preferred he not know he had taken such a precious thing. The least he could do was allow her to keep that secret safe.

  “How soon will you be ready to leave the ranch?” he asked abruptly.

  “Tomorrow,” Lilah answered quietly. “If there’s a stage I can catch.” Her heart sank to her stomach. He was anxious for her to go. He regretted what he had done, but then, he hadn’t asked to be involved. And after she had stolen his horse and had him put in jail, he had every reason to want to settle the score. He wanted her out of his sight. How could he look at her now without feeling worse about his father?

  She understood his dilemma. She reminded him of things he preferred to forget. He might be able to reconcile himself to the fact that she had sought revenge against her father’s attackers, but in his eyes she was still a loose woman who had taken advantage of being Delilah to sample fruits forbidden to Lilah Damon. Sally Ann loved him, and Lilah didn’t doubt that in time Tabor would settle down and marry the girl.

  Tabor was right to want her to leave as soon as possible. The sooner they were out of each other’s sight, the sooner they could forget all the dreadful things that had transpired between them. And, she added sadly, the sooner her heart could start to mend.

  “There’s a morning stage,” he told her. “I’ll send one of the boys in with you.”

  “Oh?” She barely heard what he was saying.

  Tabor nodded. “One of the boys will ride along as bodyguard. I want to be sure you get back to Damon House safe. I owe you and your father that and more.”

  “Tabor—” Lilah made one last try to say what was in her heart.

  He cut her off. “There’s just one more thing I want to ask of you, Lilah.”

  “Yes?” she asked hopefully.

  Tabor went on. “If I had known any of these things, I never would have asked of you what I did. I can’t change any of that now. I can’t bring back what my father took from Clement. I can’t erase all the suffering he caused you. What I can do is even up things with the Penn brothers you mentioned. It won’t undo what was done, but maybe it will put to rest all that hurt you’ve lived with because of what happened to your father.”

  Lilah stared in amazement. “I can’t let you do that. You have no quarrel with the Penn brothers.”

  “You’re wrong. You said the others kept my father from helping when he saw Clement hurt. Maybe if he could have done one decent act then, he wouldn’t have stopped being a man. Maybe he could have been the one to see justice brought to those other five men.” And maybe I would have had a father and my mother a husband, he said to himself.

  Lilah started to reach for his hand, but then drew back. “Even if that’s true, I can’t let you take on my fight. I’ll find a way to get the Penn brothers.”

  “I don’t think you understand me, Lilah.” Tabor’s voice went harsh. “I’ll keep your secret about being Delilah. I’ll keep everything you’ve told me today a secret. But only if you agree to my stipulation.”

  “Which is?” she asked warily.

  “Which is that you never again become Delilah.” Tabor’s grim face belied the tenderness in his heart. He might never hold Lilah again. He might never get used to the idea that she would wed another man. But neither would he allow her to put herself in danger again. Knowing she was both safe and happy would make it a little easier to live without her.

  “That’s preposterous,” Lilah said after a moment of silent astonishment. “I have to—”

  “No!” Tabor insisted. “You don’t ever have to be Delilah again. The Penn brothers belong to me. I promise you they will get what’s coming to them. You promise me you will never again assume the identity of Delilah. Be Clement’s daughter. Be Barrett’s wife. Be happy. But don’t ever be Delilah.”

  “But why do you insist...?”

  He couldn’t tell her the reasons. He couldn’t tell her he couldn’t bear the thought of other men ogling her, that he couldn’t stand the thought of other men sitting in her bedroom even if it was only for a card game. He couldn’t tell her the Penn brothers hadn’t grown soft and fat like Hoke Newell. He had heard of Jasper and Thurlow Penn. They were still a mean pair and not worth the risk of her lovely neck.

  “Just consider it a whim,” he growled. “I do insist. You listen to me carefully, Lilah. If Delilah ever takes to the stage again, I will personally ride to San Francisco and reveal her identity to Clement Damon. I’ll take out a full-page ad in the Chronicle and announce it to the world. And that after I’ve dragged you off the stage by the hair. Understand?”

  “Yes.” Her voice sounded shrill. What had brought on the tirade? Why should he care if she became Delilah? She could think of only one reason, and that was that he associated Delilah with his father’s downfall. His memories of the elder Stanton were difficult enough without having learned what she had revealed today. If it bothered him that much, she was willing to comply. She would do anything in her power to make him happier. If only she could tell him so. “You’ll send me word when you’ve settled up with the Penn brothers,” she said.

  Tabor agreed that he would, and asked her to tell him all that she knew about them. She revealed what the detective had told her and said that she would have the man forward a copy of his report. When she finished, Tabor rose to leave.

  “I’ll be out on the range tomorrow,” he said. “Sarah will see that you get to the stage on time. Give your father my regards. Tell him I’m sorry about everything.”

  “Everything?”

  Tabor shook his head in the affirmative. “Yes, and I think now we’ve said enough about all of it, Lilah. As soon as the Penn brothers are taken care of, I’m going to start forgetting what happened with you and me and how wrong things went. You do the same.”

  Lilah could only nod, knowing that if she spoke, she would burst into tears.

  Chapter 20

  Lilah dressed in a gown of shimmering gold silk and wore an outrageous hat Papa claimed had more pheasant feathers than one of the birds who gave them up. As the weeks following her return from the Cooke ranch dragged by, Lilah filled her days with shopping, social calls, parties, any activity which could serve to keep her mind occupied. Today’s outing was to be a carriage ride to Woodward Gardens to witness the flight of a steerable balloon. Normally she would be excited about the advent of a new means of travel, but as she reluctantly admitted, since her return home nothing held her enthusiasm for long.

  Not an hour passed that her mind didn’t drift back to the Cooke ranch and Sarah’s unique parlor or warm, cozy kitchen, or, as was more likely the case, to the ove
rsize bed in Tabor’s room. Did Tabor ever think about her fondly? Or was he simply glad to have her out of his hair? It bothered her greatly to think those stormy gray eyes now locked rapturously with Sally Ann’s. She supposed Sally Ann was the kind of girl he could love. Certainly he had never made any pretense about what he wanted from her. And though he had made love to her with tenderness and adoration and had said the things lovers say, he had never uttered the words which would have held her heart in tow forever.

  Sadly Lilah slid a hatpin into her bonnet so that it would rest securely on her head. Hearing the sound of someone on the walk out front, she hurried to her window and looked out to see one of the servants strolling in with the mail. Lilah started to rush downstairs but held herself in check. What was the use? With daily regularity she had met the post, hoping for a letter from Tabor. Always she was disappointed.

  Letters arrived from Dinah and from Aunt Emily and even from Sarah. Sarah discreetly avoided mentioning her nephew, as he no doubt had asked her to do. She had slipped in a mention of Sally Ann Caufield’s engagement, which was clue enough to Lilah. In answering Sarah’s notes, Lilah used equal discretion, mentioning neither Tabor nor Sally Ann.

  Surely, though, Sarah had told him that Lilah was completely recovered, that Ching’s treatment with a poultice of herbs had healed her wrists without leaving even a trace of a scar. And Sarah must have reported some of her activities, and certainly she had found a way to mention that Lilah had begun plans for a late-summer wedding to Barrett.

  What a laugh Tabor must have had about that, knowing Barrett had been cuckolded before he even became a bridegroom. How despicable he must think her, believing she had indiscriminately bedded so many men.

  Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive. The old adage ran through her mind, a nagging reminder of the predicament she had put herself in. Nothing in her explanation of why she had become Delilah accounted for the promiscuity he believed her guilty of. And though it wasn’t true, Tabor thought otherwise.

  Lilah sighed, toying with the thought of canceling the afternoon’s engagement. She didn’t really feel like going. Perhaps she should check the mail after all. Tabor had promised to let her know about the Penn brothers and had indicated he would see to the matter soon. She regretted agreeing to that. She should never have let him bully her into allowing him to bring them to justice. Only he hadn’t given her a choice. Oh, she supposed he had needed to do the deed. It was a kind of penance for him, something he needed to do so that he might clear his mind and wash his hands of the entire Damon family.

  Listlessly Lilah descended the stairs, still debating whether or not she would go to the park. She might as well. With Dinah gone, the house was too quiet, and quiet led to too much introspective thought. Papa had informed her he would be busy all day. Trying to shake off a cloud of gloom, she stepped lightly into the hall. She was surprised when her father wheeled into sight and spoke to her.

  “Lilah, there’s something we must discuss.”

  “Is it urgent, Papa? I was just going out.”

  “Call it off,” he said brusquely. “And come with me.”

  Clement was so rarely disagreeable that it stunned Lilah to hear him speak gruffly. She put aside her parasol and followed her father into the library. Ching quietly closed the door behind them and took up his post in front of it.

  “What is it, Papa? What’s upset you?” Lilah frowned, seeing by the direction of his eyes that the source of irritation was a letter open on his desk. A nervous chill ran down her back. Was her secret out? Had Tabor changed his mind and told Papa about her?

  Clement handed her the letter, then cleared his throat loudly. “You had better read this and you had better do it sitting down.”

  Bewildered, Lilah took the letter and took a seat. Most of her anxiety fled when she saw that it was from Dinah rather than Tabor. She silently read the curly writing while her father nervously drummed his long fingers on the arms of his chair.

  My dear Papa,

  Barrett would have written to you first, or even Aunt Emily, but I prevailed upon them to leave the matter to me. We had a lovely voyage over and I have written to you about that previously. But there is something I failed to tell in my earlier letters. It is that on that long voyage Barrett and I fell in love. Perhaps it is closer to the truth to say Barrett fell in love with me, for I had loved him a long, long time before we set sail for England.

  I am sure you are thinking now that I am immature and that what I speak of is a mere infatuation and on Barrett’s part a loyalty I have mistaken for love. But, Papa, that is not the way it is between Barrett and myself. We are truly in love, deeply in love, and have decided to spend all our lives together. Shortly after we arrived here, Barrett and I were secretly wed. We did plan to keep this a secret from everyone until our return to San Francisco, but as Aunt Emily will tell you, she became alarmed that Barrett and I spent so much time with each other.

  I am sorry to have upset Aunt Emily; however, it became necessary that she know of the marriage. The news gave her a considerable shock. She is growing accustomed to my new status, though, and has asked Barrett and me to reside at her house.

  Of course, by now you are alarmed for Lilah. You are thinking that she has been jilted, that her sister has stolen her fiancé. Please keep in mind, Papa, that Barrett and Lilah were never formally engaged. And since our wedding took place so far from home, I am sure the scandal will be lessened. Papa, you must understand that I would not have hurt Lilah. I love her, Papa, as I do you.

  Lilah herself can tell you she does not truly love Barrett. Oh, she would have wed him, I have no doubt. But she would have wed him because he would have made you a good son-in-law and because he could head the Damon enterprises. That is why I was keen to accompany Aunt Emily to London. I knew that once Barrett and I were alone, he would realize he loved me too.

  Please do not despair of this news, Papa. Barrett and I are very happy. Lilah will be happier too, for now she is free to give her heart to a man she loves.

  I trust you will tell Lilah this news and that you will do it gently. I anxiously await hearing from you, Papa. Perhaps in my next letter I can send word that your first grandchild is on the way.

  I love you with all my heart,

  Dinah

  * * *

  Two weeks after receiving Dinah’s letter, Clement fretted about his daughters. He supposed Dinah would be all right, though he didn’t totally approve of her marriage. But the promised letters from Barrett and Emily had followed that startling one from Dinah. Her aunt and her new husband had written assurances that the couple was indeed happy.

  He even decided against calling the pair home immediately. They were, after all, under Emily’s watchful eye and he had sent Barrett to London to handle a most important business deal. If it worked out as he planned, he would permanently maintain a branch of his business in England. They would get a sharp piece of his mind when they did come home, though. Both of them deserved it.

  Lilah was the real source of worry. Although she insisted Dinah was correct about her feelings for Barrett, she had done nothing but mope since the word had come. With any other girl he might have thought embarrassment over being jilted was the problem. But that didn’t seem to be the cause of Lilah’s distress. She herself had written the announcement for the Chronicle and had openly told her friends of the elopement. He wondered if her despondency might instead be attributed to the recent letter she had received from young Stanton.

  Lilah hadn’t talked much about her trip to the Cooke ranch and he had assumed the traumatic thing that had happened had dashed any chance of Tabor and Lilah getting together. He needed to get a letter off to that young man. Since Chapman had been so damned anxious to get hold of Stan’s claim, he’d sent a team of men down to study the land. They had turned up the reason for Chapman’s maniacal efforts. That land was devoid of gold, but it was rich enough in borax to make a man enormously wealthy. The very least he c
ould do for Tabor after he had saved Lilah’s life was to give him the land. What irony there. Poor Stan had been holding a fortune and didn’t know it.

  Lilah walked into the library as Clement was thinking about her. “Papa, I’m meeting Loo in town. We may do some shopping.”

  Lilah’s voice lacked the merry ring he enjoyed hearing in it. Clement caught a glimpse of her eyes and saw that they were shadowed underneath. His concern about her well-being increased. She looked as if she had lost weight. The poor girl was worrying herself sick about something. Maybe this shopping trip would boost her spirits. But whether it did or not, tonight he would demand to know what was troubling her.

  “Have a good time,” he called after her. “Get whatever you want and tell Loo I miss her here at Damon House.” He wished Loo hadn’t decided on moving into a place on her own, though he understood her reason for seeking a life of her own. He did hope the afternoon with her would be good for Lilah.

  * * *

  Lilah and Loo scurried along the sidewalks, going from one shop to another. Few of them held anything that caught Lilah’s eye, but Loo had purchased a new reticule at the last establishment. Already annoyed at the shopkeepers for their cool treatment of Loo, Lilah was ready to call for the carriage and leave for home. Of course none of the shopkeepers would actually refuse to serve Loo, even though she was half-Chinese, not when she was accompanied by Clement Damon’s daughter.

  “I think I’ve seen enough today, Loo,” Lilah said wearily. She looked down the street for the carriage. In the last two weeks she must have bought a dozen new gowns and bonnets, but no amount of finery, she had discovered, could fill the emptiness in her heart. This outing today had been a mistake. Maybe what she needed was a trip back east, or to London for a visit with Dinah and Barrett. But no, it was too soon for that. Not enough time had passed that the three of them wouldn’t feel uneasy together. Sighing so loudly that Loo gave her a worried look, she signaled for the driver to come and pick them up.