by Amy Brent
“Excellent,” Sandy said warmly. “I did see here that you’re particularly interested in child therapy, and that’s exactly what we’re looking for here, desperately. I’m so glad to have come across you.”
“You don’t know how excited I was to hear from my dad that you wanted to interview me!” I told her.
“That is one thing I wanted to discuss,” Sandy said seriously. “I hope you realize that if I were to hire you, if anything were to happen between you and our office, you’d need to find another lawyer to represent you, as your father will be representing us.”
I laughed. “Hopefully nothing will happen between us,” I told her. “But if so, yes, I can find another lawyer. The perks of having a dad who’s a lawyer is that he knows all the best people in the business!”
Sandy laughed as well. The rest of the interview, if you could call it an interview, flowed smoothly. It felt more like a conversation than an interview, which made the whole thing easier.
At the end, Sandy shook my hand again. “I do have to tell you that there are other candidates we’re considering, but like I said, I really like your volunteering background, and you’re definitely in the mix. We’ll let you know by Thursday, if that works for you.”
“Sounds perfect,” I said. I practically skipped the whole way from the office to the café that Brittany and I had arranged to meet at for lunch.
“Oh my god, I can tell from that smile that it went well!” Brittany said excitedly, standing up and giving me a hug.
“I don’t have the job yet, but she said I’m definitely in the mix,” I said, grinning at my friend as we sat down at the table. “It would be so perfect.”
“I know!” Brittany said. “Not in the least because it’s close enough to where I work that we could grab lunch all the time.”
I laughed. “There is that, too.”
“Plus, you could walk there from Ian’s place,” Brittany pointed out. “Hardly any commute at all.”
“Right,” I agreed, but I was thinking about dinner with my parents on Friday night.
I still couldn’t believe Zach had brought up the fake engagement in front of them. And they were all so against it. Was the idea of Ian and me together really such a problem for all of them? That was starting to worry me. Maybe I really should be thinking about moving out of Ian’s place. Maybe he had only meant for it to be temporary until I got my feet back under me. But it had seemed like when I moved in, he was ready for me to be there long term.
That was why we’d agreed on rent so that eventually I could start paying him to live there. Of course, I hadn’t signed a contract or anything, but I’d just assumed that was because the main contract for the place was in Ian’s name and since we were friends, it was assumed I wasn’t going to screw him over.
Now I was starting to wonder if maybe I was missing something.
“Uh oh, are things not going so well with Ian?” Brittany asked, interpreting my look.
I sighed. “We went to have dinner with my parents on Friday,” I explained. “I don’t know. Everyone seemed to think that as soon as I got this job, I was going to move out of Ian’s place.”
“But you don’t want to do that?” Brittany asked.
“No. Not really,” I admitted. “We’ve got a nice routine, and…” I trailed off, blushing.
“What happened?” Brittany asked, and I knew there was no hiding anything from her. She would get it out of me eventually. She knew me too well; she knew exactly what questions to ask. And to be honest, at this point, I needed to tell somebody. My feelings about the Ian situation were so confusing. I just needed to talk them through.
“We slept together,” I admitted. “A few times. I mean, we only slept together once. We had sex a few times.”
“Oh my God!” Brittany said. “When? How long have you been holding out on me?”
“Zach doesn’t know,” I said before she said anything else. “And I need you to keep it a secret. He’s already said something about how Ian is too old for me and that I need to find someone my own age.” I paused. “I think he and Mom are still rooting for me to get back together with Jason.”
“That’s stupid,” Brittany said flatly, rolling her eyes. “Jason’s an asshole. But you and Ian? That’s amazing! I always had a feeling about the two of you.”
“We’re not in a relationship or anything,” I quickly clarified. “We’re just roommates—with benefits.”
Brittany frowned at me. “Did you say that or did he?”
“We both agreed on it,” I said defensively. “Why?”
“Because,” Brittany said. “You know you can’t have unattached sex with someone you’re already attached to.”
“I’m not attached to him,” I protested.
“Come on, Abigail, we both know you’ve had a crush on him for years now.” She shrugged. “I don’t blame you or anything; the dude’s hot. And he’s a pretty good guy. You guys are great together. I mean, from what I’ve seen. I don’t know how the sex is.” She gave me a sly look, clearly fishing for details.
I had to laugh. “It’s good,” I told her. “Really good actually. Probably the best sex I’ve ever had.” I shrugged. "It just feels like we go so well together, like he knows exactly what I need and how to get me there.”
“Ugh,” Brittany said. “I knew I should have jumped him first.” At my shocked look, she laughed and held up both hands. “Kidding.”
“Anyway, that has nothing to do with whether or not I move out,” I said. “I just wish I knew what he was thinking. I don’t know if he’s ready for me to move out or what.”
Brittany frowned. “You mean you don’t think he likes you back?”
“It’s not about liking me back,” I said, shaking my head. “None of this is about liking. It’s just sex. We’re just a guy and a girl living together and taking advantage of that fact.”
“Sure,” Brittany said, sounding like she didn’t believe me. “So, what you’re trying to tell me is that you don’t have any feelings for him? None at all?”
I hesitated and then ducked my head. “I guess that’s my answer, isn’t it?” I asked, picking at some of the lettuce on my sandwich.
“Oh, girl,” Brittany said, shaking her head, a sympathetic look on her face. “You have to talk to him, you know?”
“I know.” I sighed, but somewhere in my gut, I knew I had to wrap my head around it before I could talk to Ian about it. And I wasn’t sure how to go about doing that.
I’d known Ian practically my whole life, as long as I could remember. He’d seen my better days and my worst days. And I’d seen the same for him. How did you turn something like that into a relationship? There was just too much history there, wasn’t there?
I bit my lip uncertainly, wishing Brittany would let the matter drop. I needed to do some serious thinking, but right now I wanted to cling to the happy feeling that I might actually, finally, have a job. Fortunately, Brittany seemed to sense that, and she started some anecdote about someone at one of the parties she’d planned—a guy who ended up falling backward into a fountain. Soon, we were both beside ourselves laughing.
I tried not to think about Ian for the rest of lunch, and I almost succeeded.
Chapter 18
Ian
I was frying up some eggs and hash browns on Tuesday morning when I heard Abigail’s excited squeal from her bedroom. She flew out into the kitchen, and fortunately, I had the forethought to move away from the stove before she barreled full force into me, flinging her arms around me.
“I got the job, I got the job!” she said excitedly.
I squeezed her tightly in my arms. “That’s amazing!” I told her. “I’m so happy for you.”
“I can’t believe it,” she said, pulling away, her eyes shining. “Sandy said they were going to wait until Thursday before letting me know, but she just called me to tell me that she was so happy with our interview yesterday that she wanted to go right ahead and offer me the job.”
&nbs
p; “Congratulations,” I said. “So, when do you start?”
“Next Monday,” she said. “I don’t even know what I’m going to do with myself all week now that I don’t have to run around town giving out my resume.”
I laughed. “Watch, you’ll probably get ten different people calling you for interviews now that you’ve already got something else lined up.”
“I don’t even care,” Abigail said, shaking her head as she fell into a seat at the table. “I’m so excited, I’m shaking. That’s how excited I am.”
I smiled at her, genuinely happy for her. “We need to celebrate,” I said as I moved back over to the stove to stir the hash browns.
“Absolutely,” Abigail agreed, nodding vigorously. “Oh my god, it’s been a long month. I can’t believe it’s finally over, and I can’t believe I finally get to start working in my field.” She laughed a little. “This month has really sucked, but it’s been, like, the best thing to ever happen to me, too.”
I wasn’t entirely sure how to take that. Did she include moving in with me as one of the best things to ever happen to her? I wanted to make a joke about it, but I couldn’t seem to find the right words. Instead, I let the comment slide.
“I’ve got a late client today,” I told her. “He’s a new guy, an older guy. He can only train in the evenings.” I wrinkled my nose to let her know what I thought about that. I much preferred the early morning clients to the late-night ones. It was nice to get my hours done by three or four in the afternoon so that I could just come home and relax in the evenings, but I wasn’t given a choice with this one.
“That’s okay,” Abigail said. “How about tomorrow night instead?”
“Sounds perfect,” I said. I paused. “You can invite whoever you want, or it could be just the two of us. Whatever you want to do.”
“I’ll invite Brittany,” Abigail said with no hesitation. “And you can invite Zach. And, of course, Mikayla can come as well.”
It was her celebration, so it was up to her if she wanted to invite others. I knew she was excited to share the news with everyone, but at the same time, I felt strangely upset that she didn’t want it to be just the two of us. Maybe it was just Jason getting to me. I shrugged and tried to let it go.
Speaking of Jason, he fortunately had canceled his appointment for that afternoon. I hoped our previous session was the last I would ever see of the man, but somehow, I doubted I would be so lucky. Anyway, it wasn’t really advantageous to lose that lesson that afternoon since I still had the late-night client. I ended up putting myself through my paces as I waited for the guy to show up, working myself harder and harder in an attempt to forget about my complicated relationship with Abigail.
“Is this how you show all your new clients that you’re serious about hard work?” the new guy, Rob, asked when he showed up.
I laughed and wiped sweat from my forehead. “Nah. Don’t worry. I’m not going to make you do anything you’re not capable of. But we are going to push the limits a little, if you’re okay with that.”
“Sounds perfect,” Rob said.
It was actually a good session. I liked Rob; he was pretty chill and laid back. But even as I was working with him, I couldn’t seem to stop thinking about Abigail. Why was I even upset that she didn’t want to celebrate alone with me?
I couldn’t seem to answer that question any more than I could answer all those questions that had plagued me since Friday night. I hadn’t asked her earlier when she told me about her new position if she planned to move out. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer. But at the same time, we needed to talk soon. There was too much tension between us, almost like we’d been back at the start.
But where at the start it had all been about the forbidden attraction between us, now it seemed to be more and more about the uncertainty of our future.
What did I want? I had spent some time over the weekend trying to figure out the answer to that question. But it was so silly: I wanted exactly what we already had. I wanted our fake engagement and our breakfast routine and randomly pulling Abigail into my arms and sexing her into oblivion. Was that too much to ask for?
And was that too much like a relationship?
I had never been the relationship type of guy. One-night stands were just so much less messy. We each got what we needed, and I didn’t have to worry about the morning after or the next night or our future or any of that. It wasn’t that I was afraid of commitment or that I didn’t grow up with strong role models in my life. I was close to my parents, and my parents still had a great relationship with one another. They’d been happily married for nearly thirty-five years.
So why was it so hard to pin down what I wanted from Abigail? Was it because of Zach or because I’d known her forever?
“Sorry to interrupt your deep-thinking session, but what did you want me to do next?” Rob asked, clearing his throat awkwardly.
I snapped back to the present, looking around in surprise. It was only the two of us in there. Everyone else had already headed home for the day. I glanced at my watch. “Let’s do some stretches, and then we’ll call it a day,” I said. “Come on, I’ll show you what I want.”
On the way home, I was still thinking about Abigail, though. Was it possible I had feelings for her? I mean, I had always had feelings for her. She was a nice girl and very attractive, and she was Zach’s younger sister. I’d known her forever, and I couldn’t imagine my life without her. But were those relationship sort of feelings or just normal friendship feelings? I didn’t have any other female friends, so I didn’t really know.
I shrugged, trying not to dwell on it, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how upset I was that she didn’t want to celebrate with just me.
Chapter 19
Abigail
The night after I got the job, Ian and I headed out to meet up with Brittany, Zach, and Mikayla. I felt strange on the walk there, like I wanted to grab Ian’s hand or something, but I forced myself to hold back. Just because I’d realized that I might sort of have feelings for him didn’t mean we were actually in a relationship. He was acting distant, too, almost like he had secrets of his own.
I let myself entertain thoughts that he had the same secrets I did, that he had realized he had feelings for me as well. But I doubted that was it. More likely, he had realized I had feelings for him and was trying to think of a way to let me down gently, to tell me he wasn’t interested in me.
I tried not to think about that now, though. This was my night to celebrate. I had finally gotten a job, a really good one in the field I wanted. No more retail for me; I was now going to practice therapy just like I’d wanted since college.
Brittany, Zach, and Mikayla were already there when we arrived, and they started cheering and clapping when they saw me. “Atta girl!” Brittany said, giving me a big hug. “I knew things were going to turn around for you!”
I hugged her back and then slid into the booth next to her, grinning hugely. “I can’t even tell you how excited I am,” I said, shaking my head.
“I can,” Ian said teasingly. “The minute she hung up the phone, she started squealing.” Everyone laughed.
“All right, shots,” Brittany said.
Zach groaned. “Seriously?”
“Come on, we’re celebrating!” Brittany reminded him.
That seemed to be the mantra for the night. We were celebrating, so even though everyone else had to go back to work the next morning, we did round after round of drinks.
“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” Brittany said finally.
“Me too,” Mikayla said.
I rolled my eyes. “Girls,” I said. “Always have to go to the bathroom together.” There was a chorus of laughter.
“Are you two all right if I leave you alone together?” Ian asked Zach and me. “I’m headed to the bar.”
“He’s my brother,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I’m not going to kill him or anything.”
“If you’re not headed to the bar to c
hat with that cute redhead, you’re not my best friend,” Zach teased.
Ian gave me an unreadable look, and I wondered whether that was what he had in mind, but he made his way to the other end of the bar.
“So, how’s that fake engagement going for the two of you?” Zach asked. “Still on?” He didn’t sound pleased about it, and I wondered how Ian and I had been acting that night. I thought we were doing a good job of maintaining our distance, at least as well as we could in the small booth. I was definitely sitting closer to Brittany than I was to Ian.
I had tried to keep my eyes off Ian, too, for the most part. Obviously, I looked at him while he was talking, but I didn’t let my eyes stray to his lips while he sipped his beer, or to his fingers while he shredded a paper napkin. Or at least I hadn’t let my eyes stray too much.
It was hard not to think about him, and the more I had to drink, the more I wanted to just head home with him. But there was a reason I had wanted to invite Brittany and Zach and Mikayla out with us tonight: I was afraid that if it was just Ian and I, the two of us, drinking alone in celebration of my new job, I would say something I might regret.
Not something I would regret because I didn’t mean it—I knew what I wanted now—but I was afraid that Ian wouldn’t reciprocate and then our living situation would be awkward and our roomies-with-benefits deal would be over. Better to take what I could have, even if it wasn’t everything I wanted.