by S. J. West
Malcolm stares down at me, and I don't think he's going to answer but he finally does.
“Lilly,” he whispers.
The band's music comes to an end, and Malcolm steps back, dropping my hand so suddenly it's like he can't wait to get as far away from me as possible.
Malcolm bows to me deeply at the waist and says, “Thank you for the dance, Lady Anna. I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening.”
I watch with a despondent heart as Malcolm turns and walks back toward Jered. Jered hands him back his cane and leans in as Malcolm whispers something to him. I see Jered nod his head and immediately turn his gaze towards me. Malcolm walks into the crowd, and I lose sight of him as he's swallowed up by those curious to know more about him and those who hope to gain his favor.
I return my gaze to Jered and see a kind, gentle smile grace his face.
“May I have the next dance, Lady Anna?” He asks, bowing to me at the waist as the band begins to play the next song and people venture onto the dance floor.
“Yes,” I say, “of course you can, Emissary Alburn.”
Jered takes me into his arms, but he holds our bodies conspicuously well apart from one another.
As we begin to dance, he says, “We're still looking for your father, Anna. Don't give up on him just yet.”
“I have no intention of giving up,” I assure him. “Finding him is the only reason I'm letting that thing over there live.”
Jered chuckles but it's low enough to not attract unwanted attention. “Andre always knew you were the one we had been waiting for. It took me a few years to believe him, but it just seemed like everything started to fall into place after you were born. I became so convinced I helped him smuggle the sword up here.”
I look up at Jered in surprise. “I thought he might have just used some mercenaries to get it into the city.”
“No,” Jered says, smiling down at me kindly. “He wouldn't have taken that sort of chance with it. I phased it up here on your sixteenth birthday. We knew the time was approaching when you would need it.”
“How did you know that?” I ask. “Malcolm hasn't told me how you all seem to know so much about what's supposed to happen.”
“It's a long story,” Jered says. “A far longer one than this dance will permit for me to tell you, I'm afraid. It should really wait for a time when either I or Malcolm can tell it to you in its entirety. Is there anything else I can answer for you?”
“Why does Malcolm still love someone who's dead?”
Jered nods his head knowingly. “I guess you know a little bit about Lilly then.”
“Yes, very little,” I sigh. “Why hasn't he let her go? She must have died a long time ago.”
“It was a very long time ago,” Jered confirms. “But, as angels, our memory of things can live on forever. What has been almost a thousand years to the world only seems like a blip in the passage of time to us. His memory of her is as fresh as it ever was.”
“How am I supposed to compete with that?” I ask aloud but the question is really for me, not Jered.
“My advice to you is to not compete with it,” Jered tells me.
“Then I should just give up before I even try to make him forget her?”
“That will never happen. Malcolm will never forget Lilly. And he would hate you if you tried to make him choose between you and her.”
I fall silent for a while before asking, “Then, what can I do?”
Jered smiles sympathetically and says, “Let him come to realize how he feels about you on his own. Don't rush him. It'll take some time for him to finally let someone else into his heart.”
“Is there enough room in there for two people?” I ask. “Even if one of them is a ghost?”
“I believe so,” Jered says in such a way that I can't help but believe him.
We dance for a bit in silence before I have to ask, “So...you think Malcolm has feelings for me?”
Jered tilts his head as he looks down at me, almost like he doesn't understand my question.
“Don't you feel it?” He asks.
“Feel what exactly?”
“The connection,” he says, almost in awe. “I've always been told that when soul mates meet they feel an instant connection to one another.”
“Of course I feel it,” I tell him, almost wishing I didn't. “But, I'm not sure if he feels it too.”
“Oh, he does,” Jered says with complete confidence. “I can tell. Plus, he knew you were in trouble last night. There's no explaining that away no matter how hard he tries to rationalize it.”
“Does he feel like he's being unfaithful to her?” I ask, trying to understand Malcolm a little better. “Is that why he's trying to deny what he feels for me?”
“It's a possibility,” Jered sighs. “I think it was hard for him to understand the fact that Lilly was never his to have because his love for her was so strong. But, Lilly married her soul mate and had a daughter named Caylin. They are your ancestors and the origin of your family line.”
“Why has Malcolm held onto his love for Lilly for so long if he knows she found her soul mate while she was alive?”
“You would have to ask him that question,” Jered says tenderly, obviously seeing my distress over the situation. “I don't pretend to know the inner workings of Malcolm's thought processes. However, I have high hopes for you Anna Greco. I have a feeling you were born into this world not only to take back the seals from the princes but for other greatness as well, including bringing Malcolm a well-deserved happy ending.”
“I would rather think of it as a happy beginning,” I say.
Jered's smile grows wider. “And so it shall be.”
The song comes to an end, and I regret having to stop dancing with Jered. I have a feeling he won't only be an ally in my fight against the princes of Hell but also a friend. If there was one thing I needed more of in this world, it was true friendship.
I spend most of the evening greeting others in the room perpetuating the pretense that all is right in my world, and that I'm looking forward to my wedding to the emperor the next day. I catch glimpses of Malcolm in the crowd engaged in mingling with the citizens of Cirrus. Though, his contingent of followers seems to mostly consist of those within the female gender. One woman in particular, Lady Sophia, seems to have taken Malcolm under her wing and assumes the responsibility of introducing him to the guests in the room. Lady Sophia's reputation is anything but pristine. It's well known that she takes on a new lover whenever someone strikes her fancy, and it seems as though she has already chosen her next target.
Malcolm doesn't seem to mind Lady Sophia's rather ardent attention either. He does nothing to stop her possessive hold of his arm as she leads him from person to person around the room. Eventually, I have to turn away from the sight of them together because it causes my heart too much pain.
“You look a little green,” I hear someone say beside me.
I look over and see Levi smiling at me, no doubt relishing in my torment.
“Jealousy doesn't become you, Lady Anna,” he smirks. “I'm not sure what you expected of Malcolm but fidelity has never been his strong suit.”
“He's just never had the right person to love him,” I say in Malcolm's defense.
“I suppose you think you're that person?” Levi scoffs. “Good luck getting him to forget Lilly. Don't look so surprised, Anna. I know a lot more about Malcolm than you do. If you think you can win that big oaf's heart, think again. No one, and I mean no one, will ever be as special to him as she was. You're on a fool's quest if you think you can match her in his heart.”
“You're wrong,” I say to him, not quite feeling the full force of my words because of my own lingering doubts.
Levi shrugs. “Think what you will, but I would lay a heavy wager on Malcolm bedding the lovely Lady Sophia before this night is through. I mean look at her! She's gorgeous and willing, just the way Malcolm likes his women. But don't worry, Anna, I will always be at your disposal to keep y
our bed nice and warm.”
“You,” I say with as much venom as I can, “will never touch me like that.”
“We'll see, I guess,” Levi says with a smirk and a shrug of his shoulders before striding off to mingle with some of the guests.
As I stand there, I feel wholly alone even though I'm completely surrounded by people. I yearn to have my father back by my side and regain access to his council. I begin to wonder what he’ll think about his only daughter being soul mates with his best friend. I hope he'll be happy for me, but fathers can sometimes be rather picky about who their daughters chose to give their hearts to.
I shake my head at my own thoughts. Here I am already assuming Malcolm will let me inside his heart when I have no way of knowing if that will ever come to pass. His lingering love for Lilly, my ancestor, might prevent him from ever acknowledging his true feelings for me.
With this depressing thought, I turn to the staircase and begin my ascent to the top. Once there, I ask one of the servants to bring me my coat.
“Are you leaving already, my lady?” The herald asks me.
“Yes,” I tell him, “and please don't announce it. I would like some time alone this evening. I don't think anyone will miss my presence.”
I look back down at the crowd of party goers and easily find Malcolm in the sea of revelers.
He's laughing heartily at something Lady Sophia has just whispered in his ear and doesn't even seem to notice that I'm about to leave. I turn my back on the scene unable to make myself watch any more of it.
After the servant brings back my coat, he drapes it across my shoulders for me. I make my way outside the palace, unable to stand the sight of Malcolm enjoying the company of another woman for a second longer.
The artificial snow inside the dome is still falling. I stretch my hand out to catch some of the flakes against my palm, welcoming the cool tickle of their landing against my skin before they melt almost instantly.
The footman in charge of my carriage is soon standing in front of me, bowing deeply.
“Are you ready to go home, my lady?”
“Yes, but I want to walk there. You can put the carriage away until I need it tomorrow for the wedding procession.”
The footman stands back to his full height with a worried frown on his face.
“I don't think the emperor would like you walking home by yourself, Lady Anna. I should at least go with you to act as your escort.”
“No,” I say in a voice which tells of my weariness from the night, “I want some time alone. Think of it as your wedding present to me.”
The footman still looks uncertain, but finally nods his consent to my desire.
I walk away from the palace and venture into the city streets.
The time is late and most of the residents of Cirrus are inside their homes snuggled safely into their beds. The streets are vacant for the most part, and I relish the near silence surrounding me. The only sounds I hear are of my own footfalls crunching the snow beneath my feet. As I walk with my head down, my thoughts become completely lost as I review the events of the night. I'm so preoccupied I accidentally run into a woman walking in the opposite direction along the sidewalk. She ends up on her back, sprawled onto the snow strewed street because I wasn't guarding my strength and ended up colliding against her at full force.
I rush to her and bend down on my knees beside her.
“I'm so sorry,” I lament. “Are you all right? Are you hurt anywhere?”
The woman looks a bit stunned at first, but then she begins to laugh. Her laughter is irresistible, and I soon find myself laughing along with her at the ridiculousness of the situation.
I stand to my feet and hold out a hand for her to take. She takes hold of my offer of assistance, and I gently help her stand.
“Wow,” she says, bending slightly at the waist to dust the snow off of her coat, “you're strong for such a little thing.”
“Sometimes I don't know my own strength,” I tell her, giving her the only explanation I can.
As I watch the woman continues to pat her coat free of snow, I begin to feel as though I know her. When she stands to her full height and looks at me, the chocolate brown of her eyes hold a tenderness some part of me seems to faintly recognize, like a long lost memory.
“Do I know you?” I ask, studying her beautiful features and somewhat old fashioned style of dress. Almost no one in Cirrus would wear a black wool coat or what looks like a homemade knit cap. The citizens of Cirrus are far too fashion conscious for such plain apparel.
The woman smiles at me, and I become even more confident that I know her. Yet, I have no memories of her, and I never forget anything. I begin to wonder if perhaps I met her in another life.
“No, you don't really know me,” she says. “But I know you. You're Lady Anna Greco, the future empress. Your wedding is tomorrow, right?”
I hesitate but then say, “Yes.”
The woman tilts her head. “You don't sound too happy about it.”
The more I look at the woman the more I want to tell her everything about myself. It's strange that I would want to tell her so much because I've always been one to keep things to myself. Yet, for some inexplicable reason, I feel as though I could tell her my deepest, darkest secrets and she wouldn't judge me by them.
“I don't love the emperor,” I tell her.
The woman smiles at me knowingly and slowly nods her head. “I'm guessing there is someone else that you do love. Only trouble with a man could have made you so distracted that you ran into me on an empty street.”
I feel my checks grow warm against the cold, embarrassed that I let my thoughts completely blind me.
“I humbly apologize for that,” I say to her. “I'm usually more careful.”
The woman looks me up and down but not in an appraising way. It's almost like she's seeing me for the first time and a look of pride enters her eyes.
“You're so beautiful, Anna,” the woman says. “I can tell your spirit is a strong one. Any man would be lucky to have you love him.”
I let out a small laugh. “Not when that man is already in love with someone else.”
“I feel sure you can change his mind,” she tells me with more confidence than I feel. “He would be a fool not to return the love of someone like you. Give him time. I'm sure he'll come around.”
“I hope you're right...” I tell her, realizing I don't know what to call her. “What's your name?”
The woman holds out one of her hands, and I notice a bracelet hanging from around her wrist. It's composed of a multitude of little silver and gold charms.
I shake her hand as she says, “My name is Rayne Cole.”
“Rayne? That's an unusual name.”
Rayne smiles.
“Somewhat unique,” she agrees.
“That's a beautiful bracelet you have,” I tell her. “Where did you get it?”
Rayne lifts her wrist up and looks at the bracelet. “My children gave it to me on one of my birthdays. Over the years, we've added charms to it to mark different events in our family life.”
“I've never seen anything like it. Is it an antique of some sort?”
“I guess you could say that. I don't think they make them anymore.”
We fall silent with one another, and I'm not sure what else to say.
“Well, I guess I should continue on my way home,” I tell her. “It was nice to meet you. I would love it if you could come visit me sometime at the palace. I don't really have a lot of people to talk to, but for some reason, I feel like you and I could become friends.”
Rayne's smile grows brighter. “I would like that, Anna.”
“Good.”
“Would you mind me giving you one small bit of advice before we part ways?”
“Of course.”
“Fight for the man you love,” she tells me fervently. “He's worth it.”
With those parting words, Rayne leans into me and kisses me on the cheek. It's a breach in proto
col between a royal and a commoner, but for some reason, I don't mind her casual familiarity.
She walks passed me to continue down the street, and I watch her for a few moments more before turning to continue down my own path. For some reason, I decide to take one last look at her and turn back around, but she's already gone, almost like she vanished into thin air.
After I get home, Millie and Eliza help me undress and get ready for bed. Millie tries to ask me questions about the party, but I beg her to wait until the next day and plead that I'm just too tired. She doesn't seem to like my answer. Most likely because she can sense something is wrong with me. All I want to do is go to sleep and not think about a certain someone for the rest of the night.
Unfortunately, all I end up doing is tossing and turning in my bed. Visions of Malcolm and Lady Sophia together in compromising possessions haunt my thoughts. At one point, I grab my pillow and scream into it to muffle my pain. Unfortunately, it does nothing to relieve the ache in my chest, and I end up crying.
Then something happens.
A pain which greatly overshadows my own enters my heart. I sit up in my bed and wipe away the tears from my cheeks. The pain I feel is unlike anything I've ever felt before. It's a strange sensation, separate yet a part of me.
I know what I need to do without even having to think about it.
I stand up from my bed and phase.
CHAPTER eleven
The room I phase into is bitterly cold. I immediately cross my arms over my chest and place the palms of my hands on my exposed forearms in a vain attempt to retain what warmth my body has left before the coldness leaches it completely away. The thin, sleeveless white nightgown I'm wearing does nothing to help fight off the chill in the bedroom.
It's a room I've never been inside before, but I know exactly why I'm in it.
Sitting in a red velvet wingback chair angled to face an unlit fireplace is Malcolm. His head is bowed causing the flow of his long locks to hide his face from my view. With elbows resting on thighs, he conceals his features with his hands, like their flesh will hide him from the world. He's only wearing the black pants of the suit he wore earlier, leaving his chest and back bare.