She took a deep shuddering breath; it hurt her chest. She waited, almost frozen with fright at what could have happened. At what still could happen.
The sky darkened. The pounding of feet, the snapping of branches broke the silence. No dog would make that type of noise.
“Edwina.”
The frantic tones of Joshua’s voice echoed in the crisp air and she collapsed with relief. “Over here.” You are not going to faint Eddy Pearson. You are not. She gritted her teeth, wondering why she was being so idiotic now the danger had passed and rescue was at hand.
Joshua raced up and halted a couple of feet away from the dogs. “What the hell happened here?”
She pointed a shaky finger at the carcasses. “The dogs. They attacked me.”
He swore. “Did they bite you?”
“No, I didn’t give them a chance to.”
“These feral animals could have any number of diseases.” He checked the animals. “They’re dead.”
“I know, I shot them. I’d shot a turkey, and I thought they wanted it,” she babbled. “I threw it away, but they attacked me anyway, must have smelt the blood on my hands.”
He stepped forward, took the rifle in one hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Are you all right?”
She fought the urge to go into screaming hysterics. “Yes, now you’re here, Joshua. I thought I was going to be ripped apart.”
“You’re safe now.” Grim faced, he scanned the forest. “Doesn’t seem to be any more of them around. That was mighty fine shooting. Who taught you to shoot like that? All three dogs are shot clean between the eyes.”
“My Pa did,” she mumbled into his chest. His heart thumped against her cheek, his warm breath lifted a few strands of loosened hair. Was his hand caressing her back? It felt good being held so close to his strong, muscular body. She never wanted him to let her go.
After a minute or so, he stepped away. She felt bereft.
“Let’s get you back to the cabin.”
He set off still carrying her rifle and she stumbled along, almost running after him. After a few yards he stopped. “Sorry, I forgot how small you are.” He put his arm around her shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “What on earth were you doing out here?”
“I wanted to get some fresh meat for dinner, so I shot a turkey.”
“A turkey? Are you mad, putting yourself at risk traipsing all over the countryside? Besides, a turkey would take hours to cook. We’d be eating at midnight.”
Tears filled her eyes and ran down her cheeks, and she desperately tried to stop the flow.
“Edwina, I wasn’t scolding you.” He gave her a hug then took her by the hand and led her toward the cabin. “There’s blood splattered all over your dress.”
“That’s what made them follow me – the blood.”
“Don’t worry, you’re safe now. I’ll make you a hot drink. You’re sure to be suffering from shock.”
“No…No, I’m not.” Her teeth chattered, and she felt deathly cold and bone weary now. It was an effort to drag one foot after the other. Joshua must have noticed how she struggled, and fifty yards from the cabin he swung her up in his arms and carried her the rest of the way, putting her down gently near the door. He wasn’t even breathing much heavier than usual.
“I’ll make you a mug of coffee with a drop of brandy in it. That should warm you up.” He turned to the fireplace. The flames snapped and crackled when he threw a couple of logs on to the glowing embers.
She clenched her teeth in an effort to stop them chattering, but could do nothing about her trembling body. Death had been only inches away today. If the rifle had jammed, or her aim had been off, those wild dogs would have ripped her apart.
Closing her eyes, she tried not to dwell on what could have happened out there. She was alive, unscathed, and good shooting had saved her.
“Here you are, hot coffee.” He placed the mug into her shaking hand.
Dusk had fallen. It surprised her how quickly the night closed in up here. If Joshua hadn’t found her when he did, she could have been trapped in the dark.
Flames surging through the heaped logs lit this section of the cabin. “I have the kettle on so you can strip off and wash. I’ll do the gentlemanly thing and turn my back. How about I warm up some beans for us?”
“That would be good. I don’t feel very hungry.”
He turned away.
“Joshua.” He swung around. “Thank you for everything. It was foolish to go out shooting alone and unprepared. It won’t happen again.”
“You’re right, it won’t happen again,” he said harshly. “I’ll take you back down the mountain tomorrow.” He turned his back, and walked over to the fire.
“You have to marry me. Please, I have the letters.”
He ignored her, and continued preparing the beans.
As usual, they sat side by side to eat. Silence, ominously stretched like a chasm between them.
“You have to marry me, Joshua. I can’t go back to Boston.”
“No.”
“Please.” She placed her hand on his knee. He shot to his feet and put a couple of paces between them.
“Edwina, I’m sorry, I can’t marry you.”
“Am I so repulsive?”
“Certainly not. You’re a pretty young woman. Go back to Boston. It’s where you belong.”
“I won’t go back there.”
“Why not?” He squatted in front of her. “Why not?”
“Because I don’t belong there. My parents are both dead, so I went to live with my aunt and uncle in Boston. I lived in Tennessee until I was fifteen years old.”
“Tennessee!”
He picked up her hand and gently rubbed her palm. Maybe he would change his mind and marry her once he understood her dire predicament.
My Aunt Victoria is an absolute snob. Only mixes with the right people. She gave me an ultimatum, marry a man she decided was suitable or I’m out.” She winced, remembering her aunt’s comments. “He might have been wealthy, but he was a horrible toad of man. I’d rather die than have anything to do with him. Your advertisement in the Gazette was a lifeline and I grabbed it.”
His breath came out in an angry hiss. “Amy’s advertisement.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “Please, I can’t go back.”
“You don’t need to go back. You can stay with Amy and her husband Tom until we sort something out. She got us into this mess, so she can help us out of it.” He frowned. “I can’t marry you.” Momentarily a wave of sadness crossed his face.
“I’m too unattractive, is that it? Aunt Victoria called me plain.”
He snorted. “You’re a pretty young woman.” He gnawed his lower lip as if deciding whether to continue or not.
“Why can’t we get married?”
“Three years ago, I was engaged to a beautiful woman. I loved her with all my heart and soul. She betrayed me. Abandoned me after I got injured in an accident. It nearly killed me.” He closed his eyes as if trying to block out the pain. “I don’t think I’ll ever recover from it. Emotionally, I’m dead. I’ll never trust another woman. Never give my heart to anyone. I couldn’t survive such treachery a second time around.”
Her heart turned over at the bleakness of his tone.
“I wouldn’t betray you. I…I’m very fond of you.”
“I know.” He shocked her with the words. “Don’t you see, it wouldn’t be fair to you? I couldn’t return your affection, and in time you would grow to resent it. You’d end up mighty unhappy. I don’t want that for you.”
“I won’t go back.”
“I don’t expect you to. In fact, I forbid it. I can afford to set you up somewhere else. Amy might be able to come up with something. She loves meddling in other people’s affairs.” He dropped her hand.
“Don’t you want children?”
“No. Amy will keep our bloodline going.” A sudden bitter mask came down over his face. “I wouldn’t care if it died out
. I’m doing you a favor, Edwina, and one day you’ll be glad I did. I’m damaged goods.” He stood. “I’ll check the kettle, it should be ready now. I’ll head outside and see to things. It will give you a chance to wash and ready yourself for bed.”
Edwina was shaken by what he had told her. What a foolish woman discarding a man like him. She must have known how deeply he loved her. How her desertion would destroy him. Yet she hadn’t cared.
Hopefully, his sister Amy wouldn’t mind her staying for a short time. She wouldn’t force Joshua’s hand now. He had already suffered enough. He was obviously a man of honor, as he hadn’t tried anything unseemly last night.
How heavenly to be able to wash her whole body, although a bath would have been better. She soaped her limbs to ensure she removed every speck of blood. She would sprinkle salt on her gown and soak it in cold water hoping to remove the stains.
Sitting on the couch, with her cloak draped across her shoulders to try to protect her modesty, she brushed her hair.
Joshua returned, shrugged out of his coat and hung it on the back of the door. He tossed his hat toward a peg. Removing his gloves, he hurried over to the fire. “It’s freezing outside. I think we’re due for snow. Good thing you’ll be down at Amy’s.”
He held his hands to the flames. “I brought you up here on purpose, you know. I thought it would scare the wits out of you, and you’d be begging me to send you back to Boston. My plan backfired on me.”
“I like it here. The fresh air, the solitude. After Ma died when I was about ten, Pa and I spent a lot of time roaming the woods in Tennessee. He liked solitude, and so do I.”
“I’m a loner now, so I need the solitude,” he said. “I find it soothing.”
“That’s how I feel.” She stopped brushing her hair. “I wish we…”
“Don’t wish it. I told you before, I’m incapable of loving a wife the way she should be loved. It wouldn’t be fair.” Taking the brush from her, he ran it down her hair in long, even strokes. It was an intimate thing for a man to do. Did he secretly harbor feelings for her?
“I’m sorry, Edwina. I really am. Best if we turn in now. We have an early start in the morning.”
“I’m sorry too, Joshua, I believe we could make each other happy. Perhaps we could be friends.”
“I don’t think so. I have no close friends now. Amy and Tom and Simon are all I need.”
“Simon?”
“He helps Tom on the farm and comes up here anytime I need him. He’s an ex-slave, likes his own company too. I built him a cabin on Tom’s farm.”
Chapter Five
After breakfast Josh hitched up the oxen cart, and they started down the mountain. Finally they arrived at his farm and changed conveyances.
“Who looks after the animals when you’re not around?” she asked. It was obvious they were well tended.
“Simon does. We couldn’t run our places without him.”
“You said he was a slave.”
Joshua’s nostrils flared. “He was. Not even fourteen years old and some slave owner almost flogged him to death. Broke one of his legs deliberately and left him to die in an alligator infested swamp. Luckily a freed slave found him and nursed him back to health, and helped him escape. He ended up here and stayed on when the farm was sold to us.”
“What a sad story.” She gulped down a lump of emotion.
“Man’s inhumanity to man knows no bounds.” He lapsed into silence.
She did not know how to break it.
Eddy’s first glimpse of Amy and Tom’s place showed a pretty white house with dormer windows on the second level. Flowerbeds at the front were full of white, pink and yellow flowers. Daisies, she guessed, not that she knew much about gardening. In fact, she knew little about anything, except from now on she was going to be Eddy.
A slim, obviously pregnant woman waited on the porch for them. As they pulled up in the yard, she waddled toward them. “Josh!”
He jumped down from the buggy and engulfed her in a bear hug. After a few seconds he let her go and stepped back a pace. “And this is Edwina.”
“Oh Edwina, I’m so happy to meet you. So you married my reluctant brother?” A broad smile caused her blue eyes to dance with merriment.
Eddy immediately liked her.
“We’re not married,” he said flatly.
“What!” Amy flapped her arms around like a demented bird. “You took her up to the cabin without being wed? How could you?”
“Nothing happened. No-one need know if you keep your mouth shut.”
“Joshua Sinclair. How could you?”
He helped Eddy down and turned to collect her luggage. “She’ll be staying with you until we sort this mess out.” He hoisted the trunk on to one shoulder and grabbed up the carpet bag, as if they weighed nothing.
Eddy had never felt so embarrassed in her whole life. “Joshua said you wouldn’t mind if I stayed for a short time.”
“Of course I don’t mind.” She gave Eddy a hug. “Stay as long as you like. Come inside, I’ll make us coffee. You having a cup?” She glared at her brother. “I demand that you do the decent thing and marry Edwina.”
“I’m not getting married,” he ground the words out. “Ever.”
“It’s all right, Amy. Joshua explained everything to me. I’m disappointed, but I do understand.”
Inside the house, Eddy glanced around. It was comfortably furnished, spotlessly clean but homely. Just the way she had envisaged her own home would be. It wouldn’t happen now. She had given her heart to Joshua, now no man would ever measure up to him.
“Josh, take Edwina’s luggage up to the spare bedroom,” Amy ordered. “The one with the lovely view of the Metacomet Mountains.”
Without a word he stomped off.
“Sit down and make yourself comfortable. I’m so sorry. All of this is my fault. I put the advertisement in the Gazette, and wrote the letter without his knowledge.”
“I know. I didn’t believe Joshua when he first denied it, but last night he explained how things were. I don’t like it, but I would never force him to do anything he is so dead set against.”
“Oh Edwina.” Amy’s eyes darkened with sympathy.
“Please call me Eddy, I prefer it to the stuffy sounding Edwina.”
Joshua returned and sat opposite Eddy. He crossed and uncrossed his legs several times. He took the cup of coffee Amy shoved at him, and instead of drinking it, he just stared at it.
“I’ll stay the night at my place.” He took a mouthful. “Then I’m returning to the cabin for a while.”
Staying there until I leave, Eddy thought sadly.
“Do as you like, Amy snapped. “You always do anyway. You’ve always been selfish.”
“Shut up,” he snarled. “It was you who caused all this trouble.”
Eddy shrunk back into the couch, squirming with embarrassment. She took a gulp of her coffee and burnt her mouth. If she ate the slice of current cake Amy had given her, she would surely be ill.
“I’m sorry, Eddy, we’re being very rude,” Amy said.
“Eddy?” Joshua’s eyebrows rose.
“Edwina told me all her friends call her Eddy.”
Joshua scowled. Was he upset because she hadn’t invited him to call her that? If so, maybe he did care – a little.
“Well, Eddy, if my brother doesn’t want you for a bride,” Amy said. “I know several respectable young men who would jump at the chance.”
“I’ll be going.” He nodded to Eddy, and stomped out of the room.
Both women burst out laughing. “Ooh we’re going to have some fun times,” Amy said. “You can’t know how I miss not having another woman to gossip with.”
“Thank you. I’m so grateful you agreed to let me stay. Of course, I’ll be happy to work for my board and lodging doing household chores.”
“You don’t have to.” Amy patted her stomach. “But a little help would be welcome now, and after the baby’s birth.”
Eddy re
laxed in Amy’s company. She didn’t feel she had to be on her guard all the time like she was with Joshua. After a second cup of coffee, they were chatting together like old friends. It didn’t take long for Amy to get the full story out of her.
“What a disgraceful woman your aunt is. I’m glad my lie at least got you out of their clutches.”
“Uncle Stanley was kind, dominated by Aunt Victoria, though, but he did help to get me to Hartford.” She took a sip of her coffee. “I wonder how Roberta and the other Mail Order Brides got on. It was so sad, all those women losing their jobs through no fault of their own. I hope they found themselves decent honorable men,” Eddy said. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out with Joshua. I’m fond of your brother.”
“I can see that. He’s so stubborn and pig-headed sometimes. I know he was badly hurt by Maryanne’s betrayal. I never did like her, but he adored her. Couldn’t see what a manipulative, social climber she was.” Anger darkened Amy’s eyes.
She had the same expressive blue eyes as her brother, Eddy thought.
“When he got injured and lost his ship she…”
“Lost his ship? What do you mean?”
“He was a ship’s captain. There was an accident on board his ship. He broke his hip and injured his back. Thinking he wouldn’t be going back to sea, the shipping company gave his ship to someone else, and offered him a shore job. That and Maryanne’s actions almost killed him.” Amy clasped her hands over her stomach. “I nursed him back to health, then I met and married Tom, and here we all are.”
A ship’s captain. That explained his meticulous eye for detail, his tidiness. “That’s awful. How could a woman be so cruel?”
“Do you love my brother?”
“I…I’m not sure.” Eddy fiddled with her hair.
“I think you do,” Amy said forthrightly.
“How do you know?”
“I’m a romantic, and I love Tom dearly so I can notice the signs in other people.”
“Yes, I do love him.” Eddy spoke it out loud for the first time. Sadness overwhelmed her because he didn’t return her love. “He doesn’t have the same feelings for me.”
Edwina: Bride of Connecticut (American Mail-Order Brides 5) Page 5