HeartStrings

by Savannah Kade

  And he pushed into her. The heat of her closed around him, gloving him in a sensation that spread to every cell of his body. His hips moved of their own accord, the pull and slide of her, the feel of the heat of her breasts flush against his chest stealing all other thoughts from him.

  His eyes came open as he pushed into her again, the sounds from her throat pulling return cries from him. She was looking at him. Into him. As no one ever had.

  His hips flexed again and again, pounding into her, feeling her push against him, straining for the same thing. His lower back clenched, his core following, the rush of his orgasm taking him over as his body moved in uncontrolled waves with hers. He registered the cries of her own orgasm, her legs tightening on his hips, her fingernails digging into his shoulders.

  As the last breath was wrung from him, he looked at her again, taking in the dreamy look on her face. And he wrapped his arms around her, both of them still breathing heavily, but unable to give her space.

  Shay was here. Here. With him. He tumbled over the edge into a deep sleep.

  Later, Craig woke to the sound of puppies whining. He'd forgotten they were there, that they'd likely watched him with Shay.

  Shay.

  She was warm in the crook of his arm and he didn't want to move. Didn't want to wake her, didn't want to leave her side to clean up little piles of dog poop. But Scarlett whined again and Gunnar put a paw to the lock, rattling it.

  "Shhhhh." Craig whispered as he rolled away from the soft heat of the woman he loved.

  He stood for a moment, naked, stunned, and wondering why he didn't know it before. It didn't hurt. It didn't scare him. It simply was, and that was wonderful. He loved her.

  Quickly and quietly, he pulled on sweats and undid the clasp on the crate, noticing for the first time how noisy it was. He made a mental note to put WD-40 on it, then a second mental note to find out if WD-40 was harmful if a dog licked it.

  He slipped out his own bedroom door, looking back at Shay, rumpled, naked above the sheet gathered at her waist, and sleeping like an angel. Want shot through him again, but he ushered the small dogs down the hall and out into the newly fenced backyard.

  In bare feet, he stood on the back patio surveying them as they sniffed around. Then, he turned and looked back through the glass door at the table with the map still spread out. Two glasses made rings on the surface of the already-scarred table and he didn't care. It spoke of home to him.

  A movement beyond the dining area came to him and he watched as Shay walked into the living room, dressed and ready to go. She picked up her purse before she spotted him.

  Chapter 28

  Shay reached down into her bag, looking for her phone. She'd checked in with Zoe when she arrived, but that was yesterday. Her phone volume was set loud enough for her to hear it over the boys yelling, or the dishwasher running, but now she questioned whether she would have heard it over the sounds she and Craig made last night.

  Aside from seeing that she had no messages when she and Craig came out to find food late in the evening, she hadn't done anything. So she hadn't texted Zoe to say she was here with Craig, or that she even had a safe place to stay. If things had gone badly and she'd hit the road right away, yesterday afternoon, she might have been home by now.

  Shay looked up to see Craig watching her through the glass of the sliding door, an odd look on his face. But she turned back to the phone and sent a quick message to her sister. She knew the power of getting involved with Craig—he could easily make her forget to check in. He'd already done it once.

  His attention away from his small, scampering dogs, he slowly opened the sliding door, but didn't come in. "Leaving already?"

  The flat tone of his voice worried her. "No. I mean, I have to go relatively soon, but not without saying goodbye, and I had hoped not without breakfast."

  He nodded, then turned back to the dogs, clapping his hands and calling them in. Once he got them both over the threshold, he slid the door shut behind him and stood facing her.

  He looked good, standing there in only his old sweatpants, his feet bare despite the chill. His chest looked good enough to lick, but it was rising and falling in measured beats. Not good.

  He said he wanted her here. And, after last night, it was clear he still wanted her. Better to just ask. "What's wrong?"

  "You're leaving?" His eyes were as flat as his tone.

  "I have to go home to my boys. And if I'm moving to Nashville, I should see if I can find an apartment today. Put down a down payment." Her own heart stuttered as she wondered what could be so wrong after last night.

  He nodded. "When will you move here?"

  "Over Christmas break." She swallowed, the stilted feelings stuck between them, clogging her throat. "In three weeks."

  He nodded.

  That was it, it seemed. Maybe that was enough. But Shay broached another topic. Before she laid down money and made her plans, she needed to be sure. "Have you been seeing anyone else?"

  He shook his head. "Not really. You?"

  "No. I don't date." She shrugged and fought the fear in her chest. Old Shay didn't ask the hard questions, and Old Shay got shit in return. "What do you mean 'not really'?"

  "I went out bar hopping with TJ a few times, but I always went home alone. Kelsey set me up with someone, but it was just at family dinner and it was pretty clear there was no chemistry." No, he was looking at her with a little more of the old heat. "So no. I haven't slept with anyone else or even kissed anyone else since Miami. I couldn't shake you."

  She smiled, surprised at how shy she felt given what they'd been up to last night. "I couldn't shake you either."

  "You sure tried." At least he didn't look upset.

  "I didn't want to. I just couldn't see any way to do everything." She shrugged, unprepared for his next suggestion.

  "You and the boys can stay here with me until you find a place."

  Her breath sucked in, and the want to take him up on his offer hit her like a bucket of water. "I can't."

  She hated saying that to him. She felt she'd said it so much. But she couldn't make it happen. "I haven't introduced you to my boys yet. I think they've both seen you. But there isn't enough time to let them get to know you before we would move in."

  He didn't respond and she bolstered her argument. "There's a lot going on for them. They both just lost their fathers—not that they were good, or that the boys miss them much—but it's a big change. And the move on top of that, I can't add a new man."

  "Do I get to meet them at least?" he seemed frustrated.

  "Of course. We can take them out with us." She looked around wondering what a real date with Craig would be like. She couldn't take her boys into a bar. Could she take Craig bowling? The idea required some imagination. "You can come over for dinners. I know they'd love to play with the puppies. I want this to work, Craig."

  "Then we'll make it work." He fisted his hands into her shirt and pulled her closer for a kiss. "I just don't know how I'll make it three more weeks."

  "We've already gone much longer than that." She smiled up at him.

  "Sure, but I never knew you'd come back those times. I was trying to forget you. Now, I'm waiting."

  Stretching up on tiptoe, she pressed her lips to his, firmer this time, rolling into him. Need hit her again, like it always did when he touched her. But this time she wasn't afraid of it. She had faith that he wasn't trying to use her. He'd never raise a hand to her. But how would he fare with the boys? They would always be in the way. Kids were like that. She'd chosen to have them. He hadn't.

  Brian had never taken to Owen. Sometimes he'd been nice, but her second husband had never loved her first son. It was unfair to compare Craig to Brian. To any of them really. He was a breed of his own. She'd just have to wait and see how things panned out between them. She wasn't rushing into anything this time.

  When his tongue pushed softly against her lips, looking to take the kiss a little deeper, she smiled at him but pulled ba
ck. "I can't leave Zoe with the boys that long."

  He frowned down at her. "Do you worry about her with them? Didn't she have them when you were in Miami? That was longer."

  "No, it's not that. This is the second time she's been out since the wedding, and she’s in grad school. I don't want her to miss any more of it for me than she already has. I mean, she says it's okay, that she doesn't have to show up for her classes this term, but I don't want her saying that if it's not right." She was rambling, but he didn't seem to care. Still, she changed topics. "I need to get breakfast and I need to find a suitable apartment."

  "Do you need company?"

  "I would love some. But you're not dressed."

  "Gimme a sec." He went down the hallway, puppies scampering at his heels, probably not yet having figured out that they were about to get put into their crate. Then she heard a few whines and the sounds of him changing clothes.

  Shay wanted to go watch, but she shouldn't. If things worked out, maybe she'd be able to watch him get dressed in the mornings from curled up under the covers. A girl could dream. "Do you know any apartments that might hold me and my two boys around here?"

  "I can think of a few. I also know good breakfast spots."

  Soon after that, she was in the passenger seat of his truck, him insisting she let him drive. He took her to a breakfast specialty restaurant at an area that was apparently up and coming. Shay looked around while she was there, hoping that she could get her business up and running soon. That she wouldn't have to budget so tightly and save so much, that she could bring the boys to a place like this. It wasn't expensive, but it wasn't cheap either.

  As they walked out to the truck, Craig pointed beyond the stores. "There are apartments over there. There's another set up behind the movie theaters. Unless you're looking to rent a house again, you'll likely wind up in one of these big complexes on the main streets. You can find smaller rentals off the back roads, but I don't know much about them."

  They spent most of the day getting turned away by places that didn't have month to month options, but she took two applications for places that allowed her to either break the lease for a fee, or pay a different rate for the non-contract option.

  They found one small house at a decent price, but Shay didn't like the neighborhood, and there was another set of duplexes in an area called "the Bend." She turned down a couple for not having yards or play areas. A quadruplex in the Bend scared her a little because of traffic, but had a good sized communal area, and she saw kids playing on the monkey bars set in the back. But the units were all rented out and she couldn't tour the one that would become available until the next day.

  "I won't still be in town then, but I'll keep the place in mind." She said into the phone from where they sat in the parking lot. After she hung up with the manager, she turned to Craig and sighed. "I have to head home or I won't make it today. Surely you have places you need to be, too."

  "I have rehearsal in a few hours." He grinned at her. "I want you to come back sooner."

  Her heart almost melted. "Owen is in first grade, and he needs to finish the semester. I told him we were moving, but he needs to know where, and I want to have a picture to show him. Time to get him excited about it."

  "What about the other one?"

  "Aaron?" She wasn't keen on his calling her younger son 'the other one' but she didn't mention it. "He's still good at getting excited about what I tell him will be exciting. Owen is starting to think for himself."

  Craig nodded at that as though what she said made sense, as though he had some understanding of little boys. "I'll miss you."

  They didn't speak much, but he held her hand as they drove back to his place, the distance shorter than she'd thought it would be. They must have looped around a bit. She didn't even have anything to gather up, so she kissed him outside on the front lawn, giving the neighbors a show, and not tempting herself into staying just a little longer.

  Before she knew it, she was on the road home. But her heart was light. She was on the road to adventure. To a bright new future.

  Chapter 29

  Craig had intended to help Shay move. He'd envisioned himself staying over at her house for several days, spending the daytimes packing her home in Bristol into boxes and his nights making love to her.

  Instead he was on tour.

  He was in his room on the bus talking to Shay on the phone in a low, soft tone. He'd seen JD and Alex both disappear into their rooms—sleeping cubbies really—for nightly chats with their wives. Now here he was, doing the same thing.

  "How's the moving going?" He asked her.

  "I got the kitchen packed. And I tried to do the living room, but didn't realize that I can't do that. We have another five days here, and not having TV or couches is just too much. I can't do their room for the same reason."

  Just the sound of her voice was comforting, even if he couldn't be there with her. She'd actually get into Nashville two days before him. "Can you make it?"

  "Of course. This isn't my first move. I've gotten pretty good at this. And Owen is actually helpful now even if Aaron needs as much supervision as if I'd done it myself. So I'll be okay."

  "I know you will." He laid back onto the small bed wishing she was with him, wishing he would be there to help her. "I'll be on stage in Denver the night you get into town. Did you get the final pictures of the rental?"

  Shay had chosen the townhouse in the Bend after seeing pictures of the inside of the unit. Her son would go to an elementary school just a few blocks away and the units were on a bus stop, so Shay and Aaron could stand out with him in the mornings. She sounded almost as excited as she said Owen was.

  Craig was trying to pay attention. Owen was the older one and a bookworm. In his head, Aaron was like JD and Kelsey's daughter Allie when he'd met her at age three. He sounded like a typical toddler to Craig, not that he knew.

  He'd watched some children's shows the other day, too, while TJ made fun of both the show and him, in an attempt to get familiar with something the kids might like. He'd picked up a few toys along the way, his heart racing each time he made a purchase. That reaction told him the outcome was important to him. So he didn't tell her, but he talked to her on the phone with toys stashed under his bed.

  He left TJ to go out partying by himself most nights. TJ was not amused. He'd even commented that he missed his wingman. The few times Craig had gone out, he’d been a really crappy second. He was not there to meet women, though he'd paid for a few drinks for the friend of whomever TJ was hitting up. Nothing more. He didn't even really flirt with them. He'd somehow forgotten how to do it.

  Mostly, Craig talked to Shay each night until she had to go, and he counted down the days until he was home. Each night he went out on stage and played with everything he had, as though if he screwed it up he'd have to stay on tour longer. The days couldn't pass fast enough, but he was still nervous about getting back to Nashville. About having her in town. About it finally being real.

  Then it was 4a.m. and the bus was turning into the lot at the HeartBeats studio. Craig took a deep breath before stepping down the big bus steps and over to his car. Setting the guitar in the back seat, he cranked the cold engine but didn't wait for it to warm up. Despite the early morning hour, he drove by Shay's new place, knowing they were all still asleep, knowing he couldn't wake her and that it wouldn't look any different from the outside than it had before. But it did.

  Shay's old beater car sat in the parking spot in front of the third red door and the very sight of it warmed him in ways that also disturbed him by their depth. He didn't honk or call her. Even if she was awake, she could hardly come to the door. If the boys were up, they'd see Craig and she wanted to really introduce him, something more formal than just "the man that was here that day." Though both boys had at one time or other seen him around a corner or when their dad dropped them off, he still had never been introduced. He had no idea if either child even knew his name.

  Then again, he did know.
Shay said she'd been talking up all the people they would know in Nashville. Hailey was here—and the boys already loved Hailey. It seemed they’d been mortified not to be at the wedding until Shay had convinced them that it wouldn't be any fun.

  She'd also told them about Kelsey and JD, whom she met at the wedding, when she’d hung out with Kelsey and Bridget a little. Kelsey liked her and had kids whose ages lined up with Shay's boys, so that was a plus.

  He sat parked in the space, looking at the red door, thinking about how excited Shay had sounded and how he wanted to take even a little credit for it. She never said, "And I'm so excited because you'll be there," but she'd asked him before she came and she'd said if he didn't want her, how could she possibly live near him.

  If it was anything like what he felt for her, he understood. Not seeing her, not having her had been okay when she was far away, when she didn't think she could work it out. He'd survived it. But having her here? If she didn't want him? He'd never make it through that. So he put the car in gear and backed out of the spot, heading for home, wondering when he could call her.

  After setting his stuff down inside the door and taking the dogs outside—earlier than usual, but they woke up when he came home—he paid the sitter he'd also woken up and she headed out. He wasn't sure if she just didn't want to be in the house with him, or if she really did just want to be home with her own things since she could. He suspected the latter. If it was the first, she was a good liar, and Craig knew liars.

  It was probably part of the appeal of Shay. She was never coy. She told him the truth, flat out, even when she knew he wouldn't want to hear it. Even when it hurt them both to admit that she was a prisoner of her two ex-husbands and that they couldn't be together. Even when it was because the blowback on her sons was more than she could stand. She might evade, she might try not to answer him, but she never lied. She told him what she had straight up.