by Bella Jewel
“Demi happened to her.”
Reese’s face goes tight. He’s come to like Belle almost as much as me, so I know he’s feeling a percentage of the rage that I am right now.
“That bitch needs to be put in her place.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” I say, thumping his shoulder. “I’ll be putting her in it.”
~*~*~*~
“Sit still,” I chastise as Belle wiggles about nervously.
“I don’t . . . can’t you do this another way?” she protests.
“No, Blue Belle, I cannot. It needs to stay on for a while, and if this is how I can be assured it’ll happen, then I’m going to sit here until I’m satisfied.”
Belle and I are sitting on the ground. My back is pressed against her bed and she’s in between my outstretched legs, back pressing against my chest, ass right against my dick. I’ve got one arm wrapped around her middle and the other is pressing an ice pack to her eye. It’s an intimate position, and she knows it. So do I. I’m fighting against myself to keep my hands off her.
“I can hold it myself, Max. I’m not an invalid.”
I snort. “This is way more fun.”
“For who? You or me?”
I chuckle. “Me, of course.”
I know she’s smiling right now, even though I can’t see it.
“You wouldn’t be smiling, would you Blue Belle? Because that would mean you like my company.”
“I don’t,” she protests, but her voice is lighter now. “You forced yourself into my life. You’re like a fly that won’t go away.”
I burst out into laughter and squeeze her closer. “But you don’t really want me to go away, because you’d be lonely. Admit it.”
“Nope.”
My grin gets bigger. “Well, then I guess I’ll have to sit here for hours and hours, until you admit it.”
“I hate you, Maximus.”
I poke her belly and she giggles. “Don’t call me that God awful name, woman.”
“It’s your birth name. I’m allowed to call you that if I want.”
“It might be my birth name, but it’s a damned tragedy.”
She giggles louder. Fucking love that sound.
“Okay, fine, I’ll call you Max. But I won’t admit to liking you.”
“I can tickle it out of you, if you’d like?”
She kicks my foot with hers. “You can’t do that. I’m injured.”
“Laughter is the best medicine, Blue Belle.”
“You wouldn’t do that to me . . .” she says, her voice wary.
“Oh wouldn’t I?”
I reach down to her ribs and wiggle a finger into her flesh. She bursts into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. Grinning, I lower the ice pack and drop it to the ground, then I use my other hand to tickle her some more. She’s laughing hysterically and squirming. She launches forward but I go with her, hand wrapped around her waist. I put a hand down to stop my body weight hitting hers, but I keep her pinned, face down to the floor as I keep tickling her.
“Stop it!” she shrieks. “You horrible . . .” She can’t finish her sentence through her laughter.
“Max!”
“Say it.” I laugh, tickling her some more. “Say you adore my company.”
“No.” She giggles.
I flip her over, straddling her hips. I wiggle my fingers in front of her face and then bring them down onto her belly. She howls with laughter and her head thrashes from side to side.
“Admit it, or things will get ugly.”
“Okay, okay.” She gasps between laughter. “I love your company, and my life would never be the same without you.”
I grin and stop tickling her. I lean down and press my forehead against hers. “Told you.”
Her breath hitches, and all the laughter leaves her body. She looks into my eyes and suddenly things are serious. I want to kiss her. Fuck. I want to kiss her so badly that my entire body aches for it. She shifts beneath me and I fight back a moan. Her eyes flicker to my lips and I know she wants to kiss me as much as I want to kiss her. She reaches up and runs her thumb over my jaw, and my entire body clenches with need.
There’s an ache in my heart that I’ve never experienced before. There’s a want in my body I don’t understand. I care about Belle; I’ve already figured that out, but this much? No, I didn’t realize it had gotten to that point. Jesus, I still have a girlfriend I haven’t ended things with. What sort of fucking person am I?
I shouldn’t be here doing this.
I push up quickly, shifting to ease the erection that was starting to rise in my jeans. I shouldn’t be here doing this. Fuck. I look around for my keys, doing everything I can not to stare into those fucking perfect eyes. “I should get going,” I say to my boots. “I have practice.”
“Oh,” she says, her voice soft and hurt. “Okay.”
“I’ll call you.”
I grab my keys and walk out of her room without another word.
I’m a fucking asshole.
CHAPTER SIX
NOW – ANABELLE
My knees are pressed to my chest and I’m staring blankly at the wall in front of me. Imogen is asleep on her bed in the far corner of the room. She’s got a pink blanket clutched in her hands and she’s on her side, cover thrown over her. She looks peaceful, which is a good thing because I’m anything but. I can’t stop thinking about Max, and the way I spoke to him tonight.
I got home only an hour ago and I smiled a big fake smile at Tina and Pippa, then I slipped into my room and I’ve been sitting here ever since. I can’t think about anything, can’t function—can’t breathe properly. I hurt him tonight, I know I did, and I don’t even know why I did it. I went there to see if he was fit to be with my daughter, and instead I lost focus because I was flooded with emotion.
I don’t know how I’m going to cope, because I know the kind of man Max is. My words might have hurt, but he’s not going to give up anytime soon. He will want answers, he will want closure, and when he finds out about Imogen, he’ll want to be in her life. Like it or not, I’m going to have to find a way to deal with Max. I just don’t know how the hell I’m going to do that when I miss him so much my heart aches.
“Knock, knock.”
I look up to see my door opening. Pippa steps inside with a cup of tea in her hands.
“I thought you might like this. I saw your light on.”
“Thanks,” I croak.
She walks over and puts the cup down on my bedside table, then she sits on my bed and stares over at me. “Is everything okay? Did something happen?”
“I saw him tonight,” I whisper.
“Oh Belle, it didn’t go well then?”
“No.”
Pippa turns and tucks her legs beneath her, leaning over so she’s nice and close. “What happened?”
I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and stare at my hands. “He chased me out of the club, pinned me against the wall and tried to talk to me.”
“And you didn’t let him?”
I shake my head. “I couldn’t, Pip. I didn’t know how. He was saying he was in a bad way, and that he hadn’t stopped thinking of me, but I don’t understand how that could be so when he told me himself five years ago that he had fallen out of love with me.”
“It’s just a thought,” she says hesitantly. “But do you ever think he said that back then because he wanted you to leave him?”
“Of course he wanted me to leave,” I murmur. “He didn’t love me.”
“No, I mean because he hated who he was and thought you deserved better?”
I never thought of that.
And thinking of it makes my chest ache.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I really don’t know what happened back then. He went out one night. I know there was an accident that he saw, but he never told me what happened. He came home and he was never the same. He started drinking, gambling, and eventually he told me he didn’t love me.”
“Maybe he didn’t know what he w
as saying.”
I shrug. “Maybe. It still doesn’t change the fact that it’s been five years and so much has changed since then. I have a daughter; we have a daughter. He’s different; he’s not the man I fell in love with. He’s scarier, meaner, and lives a life that frightens me. I just don’t know how we’re going to make any of this work.”
“All you need to do is work enough that Immy has a good life.”
“You’re right.” I sigh. “It’s just so hard when I . . . when . . .”
“When you love him so much still?”
I meet her eyes. “Yeah.”
“That’s normal, and it’s okay to feel it. Don’t beat yourself up for it, Belle. Your feelings aren’t bad, or wrong.”
“Thanks, Pip.”
“Listen,” she says, climbing off the bed, “if you can manage to get Tina on the weekend, I’d love for you to come and meet my friend Rainer. The girls from the club and I are going for a girls’ night out at his bar. Do you want to come?”
“You know,” I say, “I think that’s exactly what I need.”
“I think you might be right.” She grins.
“It’s a plan then.”
God knows I need the distraction.
~*~*~*~
“Imogen!” I yell, chasing my daughter down the store aisles as she runs happily, hair flying out behind her. She’s got a candy bar in her hand and she’s unwilling to return it. It’s my fault, I fully accept all responsibility. I always used to let her have candy when we stocked up on food, but today she’s already had a candy bar, so she’s not having another one.
She’s got other ideas.
“Catch me, Mommy!”
“No, baby,” I call, pushing my cart at a faster-than-safe rate after her. “If you don’t stop, I’ll stop and you’ll lose me.”
She stops and turns, facing me. “Can I have the candy?”
“No. You’ve already had one today.”
She starts running again. Four-years-olds. They aren’t easy. I sigh and start running after her again. She rounds a corner and I panic when she goes out of sight. I pick up the pace, letting go of the cart. I skid around the corner and stop dead when I see her standing, staring up at Max. My heart feels as if it skids to a complete stop and my legs wobble.
No.
This isn’t how this is meant to happen.
Max looks down at Imogen, then up to me, then back down to Imogen, and his entire body jerks. Emotion floods his face and he clenches his fists into tight balls. There’s no way that he doesn’t know she belongs to him. Her curly hair is as dark as his, and her eyes are mine. She looks like the perfect mix of both of us. He couldn’t pass her as anyone else’s, or think perhaps I’d had another lover. No, there’s no missing it.
“Imogen,” I say, my voice raspy. “Come here.”
She turns and runs towards me, throwing her arms around my legs. I meet Max’s eyes and there’s so much pain on his face. I want to scream and yell, cry and wail, but all I do is stand there. I’ve pictured how this would go in my head a thousand times over. I’ve thought about him rushing forward and scooping Imogen into his arms, or taking me and kissing me deep and hard. I’ve even thought of him screaming at me for not telling him.
I never expected the reaction he gives me.
I never imagined it.
I never saw it coming.
Max looks to me, then to Imogen.
And then he turns and walks away.
My heart breaks into a thousand tiny pieces.
CHAPTER SEVEN
THEN – COLLEGE – MAX
I’ve avoided her at all costs. I know what kind of man that makes me. I’m fully aware. The reality of the situation has hit me hard, and I realized that Belle and I are from two different worlds. Reese accepts her, but he only does it because he’s my best friend. As much as he hates Demi, he knows she’s better for me. To be with Belle would mean to take a step down from being the king of the school. From being that popular kid everyone wants to be friends with.
It’s what I’ve worked for since I came to this place.
My career in football relies on it.
But every single fucking time I think of those blue eyes, I think fuck it, I could go forever without football, but I can’t go a day without those eyes.
I have to shake those thoughts from my head, force myself to focus. Belle and I can never be anything more than friends, and the feelings I have for her will fade the more I put distance between us. Maybe I need to take Demi away, try and focus on why I’m with her to begin with. God, who am I fucking kidding? I can hardly stand being near her. This is a big, fucking mess.
“Dude, there you are.”
I pause as I’m walking down the halls and turn to see Reese running up behind me. He’s panting and I’m about to open my mouth and shoot a teasing comment at him about being so unfit, but I see he’s got a concerned look on his face. It’s one of those looks that people give you when they tell you that someone you love is gone. My heart instantly clenches.
“What’s wrong?”
He puts a hand up to catch his breath, then he rasps out, “Your girl out there is taking on Belle.”
I shake my head. “My girl?”
“Demi, fuckwit. She’s got her rounded up on the field, all her bitches behind her.”
Fuck.
I turn and run in the direction he came from. I can hear his footsteps behind me but I don’t stop. I pound the pavement until I hit the grass, then I break into a full sprint towards the group of girls. I hear the hissing voices and screeches of pain as I near closer, and what I see is not what I expect. Instead of Belle being abused, or punched, or hurt, I see Demi on the ground, screaming up at Belle with a bloodied nose. My eyes dart to Belle, who is panting, tiny fists clenched, eye black and swollen still.
Even Demi’s friends are standing back, with shocked looks on their faces.
“Stay away from me!” she screams down at Demi.
“You stay away from Max. He’s mine, you stupid, ugly, bitch.”
“You can have him,” Belle bellows. “I don’t give a shit about any of you.”
That hurts. It hits my chest somewhere deep down.
“Then why the hell do you keep following him around like a pathetic puppy? He comes to me, you stupid slut. He fucks me. He sleeps with me. Honestly, what made you ever think he’d be interested in you?”
Belle’s face drops, and a pain I’ve not seen before flashes across her face. I leap in before Demi can spit another disgusting word. Fuck the reputation. Fuck what I could lose. Nobody is going to make Belle feel like she’s anything but the most beautiful person on this planet.
“Shut your fuckin’ mouth,” I bark as people move aside to let me in.
Demi looks over to me, eyes wide, and then she starts the waterworks. “She came in here and punched me, Max. She won’t leave me alone.”
Fucking liar.
“I heard every fucking thing you said to her, Demi. You so much as look at her again, I’ll make you wish you were never born. We’re done, through. Do you hear me? I’d rather fuck a bucket of hot water.”
Everyone around us laughs, but Demi’s face floods with rage.
“You know you belong to me, Max. You can’t just end it. I won’t let you. That little bitch has nothing on me.”
“Call her that again,” I growl, “and see what happens. That woman is thirty times the person you are.”
“You can’t do this!” she screams as I turn away.
“Just did, babe.”
I flick my eyes in the direction Belle was in, but she’s gone. I didn’t notice her run off. God dammit. Fuck. Leaving Demi where she is, I spin around and shove past people, running towards her car, because I know that’s exactly where she’s headed.
I’m right. I catch her just as she’s swinging the door open.
“Blue Belle, wait.”
She spins on me, and screams in a voice so loud I’m shocked it could come out of someone so t
iny. “You go away, Max. I won’t do this. I won’t be your little companion that you turn to when you’re bored. Leave me alone. I don’t want to be a part of this.”
“Just wait,” I say, shoving her door closed so she can’t get in. “Let me—”
“No!” she shrieks. “Why did you even seek me out, Max? What purpose did you have to try and be my friend? I was happy before you came along! Then you jumped into my life and now I can’t . . .”
“You can’t what?” I growl, stepping up close so her back is pressed against the car.
“I can’t imagine what it’s like without you. I don’t want to feel like that. I didn’t want to feel the desperate feelings I felt the other day in my room, and I don’t want to feel them right now.”
She feels it too.
Fuck.
“You can’t make them stop, Blue Belle.”
“Stop calling me that,” she croaks. “Stop talking to me. Stop trying to be my friend. You’re too good for me, Max. That’s been proven. Just leave me alone.”
“There’s one big fucking problem with that request,” I say, stepping closer until my body is flush against hers. Her pink lips part and she sucks in a breath.
“What’s that?” she whispers.
“I don’t want to fucking leave you alone.”
Then I take a risk. I lower my head and crush my lips against hers. She’s silent for a moment, still as a statue, but I take that moment to enjoy how her full, warm lips feel against mine. A tiny gasp escapes her lips and then finally, she parts those beautiful, plump beauties and lets me in. I slide my tongue past them, gently stroking it against hers. A little moan escapes and she pushes her body closer to mine. I’ve never felt so fucking aroused in my life. No kiss has ever been this good. I wrap my fingers around her hip and crush her body against mine, grinding my erection against her belly.
“Max,” she whispers when I pull back, and slide my lips along her jaw.
“Don’t,” I warn, nipping her chin. “I get what I want, Blue Belle. You can fight this, or you can go with it.”
“People like you and me,” she protests, “we’re not meant to be with each other.”