by Carrie Jones
The bartender hopped over the bar and, reaching over the kids’ table, pulled down the long thick shade that obviously hadn’t been shut in years. Dust flew about the air. A random pixie was dislodged, but she blended in with the dust so much that nobody seemed to notice even as she sneezed out a big blob of glitter.
The bartender just moved to the next table as the Snatcher moved to the next window. He shut the shade there, too. “None of us objects to a little privacy this afternoon, do we?”
“Makes it cozier!” one man at the bar said. “Plus, no garda—that’s the police—or weird flying things can peek in.”
“Exactly!” the bartender agreed, motioning for another server to help him with a shade that was stuck.
They leaned over the empty table just as the Snatcher got to the window. She knocked.
“Nobody home, love,” the bartender called cheerily.
Meanwhile the waitress hustled over to their table and ignored the fact that Annie and Johann were still sitting under it giggling. “You best stay here till they’re gone,” the woman said. Then she made the sign of the cross over her chest. “Well, if it isn’t—I say … You poor thing. Which of you is the Stopper?”
Annie twittered. She raised her hand. “Me.”
This just made Johann chortle even louder.
The waitress cleared her throat and whispered reverently, “I am so honored—so very honored—to meet you. Are you the one who was lost at sea?”
Annie pulled on Bloom’s pant leg. “Was I?”
“Not that I know of,” Bloom answered.
“The one who will fall with evil?” The waitress cocked her head. “I’m Shauna, by the way. Horan is my last name. And I’m pleased to meet you.”
The waitress reached out her hand and Annie shook it. The waitress used the opportunity to pull Annie all the way out from under the table. She put her arm around Annie’s shoulders and announced in a voice that was worthy of a dwarf because it was so loud, “Ladies and gentlemen and others!” She took a side step away from Annie. “Let me introduce you to my new, lovely friend from America. Miss Annie Nobody.”
Annie smiled awkwardly and tried to hold in a giggle.
“You know my name,” she said.
“Everyone does, Annie. Tales of your adventures run far and wide.”
“But I’ve only just started having adventures.”
“Not here. Not in Ireland. Here you are famous.”
The bartender came over with a bunch of graphic novels. There was a girl on the front that vaguely resembled Annie, or what Annie thought might be a better-looking version of herself. Jamie thought otherwise. Either way it was the title that got her: “Time Stopper vs. the Demon, How Annie Nobody Saved the World.”
“That is definitely my name,” Annie whispered as she began leafing through the booklet. She sat back down at the table and Johann crawled out, too.
“This is weird,” she said quietly in between giggles. “Undeniably, unstoppably weird.”
“I am going to be so jealous if you have your own fan club,” Eva said, snatching the book away and flipping to the last page where there was a link to an Internet site where you could join the Annie the Time Stopper Fan Club. Eva hit the table with her fist so hard the silverware bounced around. “You have your own fan club. That was fast. I want my own fan club.”
“Of course she does!” The waitress shook her head at Eva as if she was the silliest goober in the entire universe. “And these books were written years ago. So, I’m not sure what you mean by ‘fast.’ Now, what will you all be having while you wait out that winged woman at the window?”
They all ordered food even though it was hard for Annie and Johann to eat because of all the giggling. And the worry. Jamie didn’t feel safe. He wasn’t sure why the Snatchers didn’t come into the actual buildings, but they didn’t.
“Must be some sort of binding spell like with vampires. Maybe they have to be invited in,” Bloom said.
“In your books it says it’s the cross and the clover above the doorway,” the waitress said as she refilled their water glasses.
Bloom flipped to page 57, and sure enough there was a picture of a cross and a clover above the door. He peered up at Shauna. “Do you know who wrote these books?”
“Sure and enough, I do.” She got one of the novels out of the stack and showed them the front cover, which made them all feel foolish, especially when she pointed at the name. “It’s by someone named Tully. Quite mysterious. I heard he lives out near the cliffs.”
The kids exchanged a glance. It was by the same author who wrote the book Gramma Doris had given Jamie when she’d hid him under the floor.
“In the books, does it mention anything about …” Bloom cleared his throat. “Does it mention anything about Snatchers? Or the Secret Society?”
Johann kicked him under the table. Bloom grimaced and flicked a chip at him.
“It does!” Shauna’s face lit up and she sat down next to Annie, perching precariously on the edge of the booth. “It says that the Snatchers are part of the demon’s detection system, set up throughout the world in an attempt to find Annie because she is hidden, you know? Nobody knows who she is. Most people foolishly think the Stopper is the dwarf or the elf companion.”
The waitress paused for a moment.
“What is it?” Annie said, managing to actually suppress a giggle.
“I just—I didn’t think it was actually real.” The waitress bit her lip.
Annie thought she might actually cry.
“Oh, it’s not …,” Eva blurted.
“Then what’s this?” The waitress waved her hand about. “Don’t tell me you’re just actors because I won’t believe it. There’s magic in this world and we all know it, and you lot—you lot and that thing hovering outside are perfect examples of it.”
They didn’t really know how to respond to that. Shauna went on for a bit about how much she loved the books.
“What about the Secret—” Jamie began, and then Shauna was called away by another customer.
Johann’s polka dots turned red.
Eva whirled on him. “What is it?”
He coughed and sputtered. “Nothing.”
“Do I need to get out my ax?” she asked. “Or sing show tunes?”
“No jazz hands!” he exclaimed. “Fine. I’ll tell you.”
And as they ate, Johann hesitantly told them about the Secret Society. “It’s in the books,” he said. “I wasn’t sure if it’s real or not. But the Helper—I only knew about it because of the books. I didn’t know about the Bugbear. I swear.”
“And the books said what exactly? What is this Society?”
Johann didn’t have the easiest time of it as he tried to explain that the Secret Society was really just kind of an Annie the Time Stopper fan club and he wasn’t 100 percent sure if it was real or not. He was a dwarf so he knew magic existed, but he didn’t know if Annie actually existed or was just pretend. Once Eva called and told him she needed his help, he was all for helping. He was MORE THAN all for helping. He was enthusiastic and delighted and psyched. So he reread his graphic novels because he wasn’t all that good at remembering details in things he read, joined the fan club on the Web, and when he did, got a notification that he was now a part of the Secret Society.
“Which does what exactly?” Bloom asked.
Johann shrugged, giggled, and pounded the wall. “Don’t know. That’s the secret.”
Eva threw her hands up in the air and began muttering. Bloom excused himself to use the bathroom.
“Plus, my computer began to smoke after I accepted the membership.” Johann coughed. “It turns out this is normal. I was just lucky the keyboard didn’t start flaming. That’s happened, too. Or at least I’ve heard so. That’s a powerful magic to do, that it is.”
They all stared at him, but his entire attention was on the plate in front of him and his polka dots were reddening again.
“So, you brought us to retrieve a
Helper, not really knowing if the Helper, which turned out to be a feather, was real, or if the Secret Society is good, or even what the aim of the Society is. Then you brought us to the sphere … Was that in the books?” Jamie prodded.
“No!” Johann blustered. “Maybe … I’m not sure … There’s a sphere for certain. Oh, maybe …”
He started to slink under the table, but Eva grabbed him by the collar and hauled him back up as Bloom came back from the bathroom. They all sat there, finishing their food, which was still difficult for both Annie and Johann thanks to the giggles, and they occasionally peeked out the window to see if the Snatcher was gone. She wasn’t.
“We’re going to have to sneak out somehow,” Annie said, frustrated. “We can’t just stay here forever. It’s wasting time while Miss Cornelia and the—”
“Don’t say it out loud.” Bloom clamped a hand over her mouth. “You don’t know who is listening.”
So, Annie didn’t finish her sentence, but her point was still obvious. They needed to hurry. They needed to save the elves who were suffering for so long and losing their power, and Miss Cornelia, who was probably being tortured or hurt or something equally horrible.
They motioned for Shauna to come to their table, and thanks to Eva’s moneymaking gnome, they easily paid for all their meals and had money to give a tip.
Bloom leaned over the table conspiratorially and whispered, “Look. We need your help as part of the Secret Society of …” He paused. He didn’t know the proper name.
“The Stoppers of Evil,” Shauna filled him in, even as Eva rolled her eyes and murmured something about that being a completely dorky name.
“The Stoppers of Evil. I need your help,” Bloom said, being as charming as elves can be, which is honestly, ridiculously charming. He then explained their need for an alternative exit so that they could sneak out of the pub without the Snatcher seeing them leave.
“We don’t want to be snatched,” Annie added and giggled. And clamped her hand over her mouth until the giggling stopped. “It would be so kind of you to help. I mean, I can’t thank you enough. I mean, I am so sorry I am giggling.”
“Anything for you, Stopper.” Shauna made a thumping motion with one hand against the other.
“It’s the secret symbol of solidarity,” Johann explained. He giggled as he did it, too. “I hope this giggling wears off soon. It’s likely to make me go mad.”
“Well, you sound pathetic,” Eva said as they got up to leave. “Now, everyone try to not be noticeable.”
“Oh, that’s easy,” said the polka-dotted Annie.
Jamie looped his arm in hers as they skirted around the bar, past the restrooms, and then into the kitchen, which was bright, loud and shiny, full of grease smell and cooked-meat scents. “It’ll be okay, Annie.”
She managed to whisper back, in between giggles, “The Stoppers of Evil. Have you thought about that name? It could mean Stoppers who stop evil or Stoppers who are evil.”
He paused. A chef pointed at Johann. “Look at the wee man. All polka-dotted he is. Ah, isn’t that a sight?”
Johann tried to glower, but he just giggled instead. The rest of the cooks stopped stirring gravy and frying beef. They turned and stared, openmouthed. Some grease lit up on the griddle. Someone stomped a pan on top of it. The flames flickered out of the sides.
Jamie tapped Annie, obviously slightly distracted by the chef and the fire but more concerned about the Secret Society. “That’s not cool,” he said.
“No,” she agreed as Eva charged out the back door into the street. “No, it isn’t cool at all.”
“But … how do we know about the name? How do we know which one it is?” he asked.
Annie bit her tongue to keep from giggling. Blood popped into her mouth. She let go and blurted before she could giggle again. “We won’t know until it’s obvious. I think.” She paused, biting her tongue again. The pain kept the giggling back. “And when it’s obvious …”
She let her words trail off, but Jamie finished for her.
“Then it might be too late.”
“Exactly.”
18
Piggy GPS
Eva declared that the little back alley behind the pub was clear of Snatchers, and the others followed her out onto the brick street, with SalGoud gently shutting the kitchen door behind him.
The sun had gone down quite a bit and the air had gotten colder. They hurried down the road, watching the darkening sky for signs of the Snatchers.
“The car is just a bit this way.” Johann giggled as they ran.
Jamie pulled a hood up and around Annie’s face, an awkward maneuver as they were moving. “That should help disguise you.”
Bloom tried to do the same with Johann, who fended off his kindness with a stiff forearm. “No dwarf hides his face.”
“They should,” Bloom muttered back angrily. Bloom was in such a foul mood lately. It was obvious that the stress of trying to save Miss Cornelia and the elves was getting to his good nature.
Fortunately, neither dwarf heard him. Bloom spread out his arms, blocking the others from following him into the street.
“Do you see any Snatchers?” SalGoud asked.
“No … Yes … To the right. She’s facing the other way.”
“And the car?”
“To the left,” Bloom said. “Johann, unlock it with the key fob. Let’s see what happens.”
Johann hit the fob. The pig car beeped as its doors unlocked. The Snatcher whisked around at the noise and whizzed past them, heading directly for the car. It was not the same Snatcher who had been waiting outside the pub. This one had blond hair.
“What’s she doing?” Annie whispered.
“Hovering above the car,” Bloom answered.
“We can’t wait all day,” Eva groaned. “We need to get going.”
“We can’t risk her snatching Annie,” Bloom protested.
Jamie cleared his throat. “Okay,” he said. “This is what we do.”
And he detailed how he, the un-magical one who really didn’t know how to drive, should just go and get the car. He wasn’t giggling. He wasn’t polka-dotted. They wouldn’t try to snatch him.
Annie shook her head. “But what if they do?”
“Then we’ll freaking save him.” Eva grunted. She pushed Jamie out into the street before Annie could protest anymore. “Go. Do it. Drive the car here and stop.”
Jamie was casually walking down the road before Annie could protest again. It was too late. He was already in danger. Her heart sank and she crossed her fingers and murmured, “Please be okay … please be okay … please be okay.”
“Freaking toad breath, Annie. Chillax.” Eva shook her head. “You sound ridiculous murmuring and giggling. He’ll be fine.”
Jamie tried to act like walking toward a pig car was the most natural thing in the world. He was halfway there before he remembered he didn’t have the car keys. Smacking his forehead with his hand, he pivoted, heading back to the alley.
“What are you doing?” Eva asked, agitated.
“The keys,” he mouthed back.
Bloom took them from Johann and tossed them to Jamie, who caught them with one hand. He turned back around again. The Snatcher was sitting on the car now, just hanging out on top of it with her legs crossed in front of her as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Tourists stopped and whisked out their iPhones, taking pictures. One of them posed in front of the pig car. The Snatcher smelled the happy tourist’s hair, but didn’t grab her up in her long talons.
“Thank you!” the tourist called as she walked away. “You look lovely. Best costume ever.”
Jamie held his breath as he approached the Snatcher and the pig car. Every single nerve in his body shook. The Snatchers were beautiful—yes, beyond beautiful—but that beauty hid a big heartless evil. He could feel it … And those talons! They could pierce right through his skin like ten thick, horrible daggers. He let out a breath. Why would someone make such a horribl
e creature? Why would anyone want to kill or capture Annie? Or another Stopper? It was all about the Raiff. It had to be him.
Jamie held his breath again, trying to look like walking to a pig car was an absolutely natural thing to do. Closer and closer he came until it was all he could do to look normal. He tried to hum a jaunty tune, which is what he imagined any normal person would hum when they walked toward his pig car that was guarded by an evil Snatcher.
“Totally normal … just a normal day … just a normal guy walking to his car.” Jamie smashed his lips together, realizing he was singing … actually singing. Normal people didn’t sing under these circumstances. He stopped dead still and hit himself in the head with his hand hard enough to make himself sputter out an “ouch.” It was enough to make him move forward past a parking meter and an abandoned bicycle, closer to the car and those terrible talons.
He was almost there … Almost … He readied the keys in his hand. He’d yank open the pink car door, dive in, and slam the door shut behind him. Yes, he could do that, he thought. He’d be fast and do it all in one smooth, fluid motion. He’d duck right under the Snatcher’s foot and be inside before she blinked. He’d be fast and swift and—
He made it to just about five feet away from the car before the Snatcher leaped off the roof. She stood in front of him, magnificent, massive, at least a foot taller than him and spread out her wings, effectively blocking his entire view of the car. Slowly, she leaned forward and sniffed.
“What are you smelling me for?” he gasped out.
“Magic.”
Jamie waited. Her breath moved his hair as it left her nose and mouth. She reeked of horse poop.
He held his breath again.
And tried not to gag.
“You have been near much magic.” She still hovered over him. “But you are no Stopper.”
Leaning back, she eyed him. “What are you? I have never smelled anything like you.”
“A boy,” he managed to say. “I am just a boy.”
She scowled at him. “You are not just a boy.”
And with that she lifted into the sky and flew up and up, above the two- and three-story buildings, until Jamie couldn’t see her anymore. But he could still feel her rancid breath in his hair.