Jake asked many questions and the doctor assured him the tests would help them determine what exactly was causing Anna’s problems.
“It could be something as simple as an inner ear infection,” the doctor explained.
“But wouldn’t you be able to tell that is what she has right now?” Jake asked.
“Usually, but sometimes we miss things and the tests will really help us know for sure what is going on.”
After two more hours the tests were finished and Anna, completely spent, was more than ready to go home.
Sue decided to run to the pharmacy and fill Anna’s prescriptions while Jake drove Anna home. Carrying her into the house he gently placed her on her bed, removed her coat and shoes, and covered her with a blanket. Her eyes had drifted closed, so he tucked her hands under the covers and started to leave.
“Don’t go,” she whispered, holding a hand out to him.
“I’m right here, Sugar,” Jake said, pulling a chair up next to the bed. “I’m not going anywhere.” He brushed the hair off her face and rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand until her breathing evened out and she slept.
Jake heard someone in the house. Walking into the kitchen he found Sue setting a bag from the pharmacy on the table. She looked so worried Jake immediately gave her a hug. “She’ll be fine. Our girl’s made of strong stuff.”
Sue wiped at a few tears and patted Jake’s back. “Thank you, Jake. You are so good to all of us. You have no idea what a blessing you’ve been to Anna. She has finally blossomed because of your love. We are all so grateful to you.”
Jake couldn’t speak through the emotion clogging his throat. What little he had done for Anna was nothing in comparison to what she had given him. A sense of purpose, of peace, of true happiness. He gave Sue another squeeze and stepped back.
Dabbing at her tears, she gave him a watery smile. “I’m sorry about the phone call this morning. I trust you both, and I apologize for even thinking it would be a possibility. I just didn’t know what else to do.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you called otherwise neither one of us would have known what was going on with Anna,” Jake said, raking his hand through his hair as they sat down at the kitchen table.
They discussed plans and Jake decided to return to town and finish up a few things at the office before returning later in the afternoon. Sam agreed to go along with him and bring home Anna’s car.
When Jake arrived back at the Zimmerman’s, it was early evening. Anna was still sleeping, so he joined Sue and Ken in the kitchen for a simple dinner of soup and sandwiches.
“I think I better cancel my trip,” Jake said, hating the thought of leaving Anna behind when she felt so poorly.
“Jake, I really think you should go,” Sue said. “The doctor’s appointment to review the test results is late Thursday afternoon. You’ll be back Friday, anyway. So until then, there really isn’t anything you can do. I know you don’t want to leave her, but it’s just for a couple days. It will be fine. You know you can call anytime you want and we’ll give you an update.”
Jake sat back and looked thoughtful. “What do you think, Ken?” he asked his future father-in-law.
“I agree with Sue. You’ve been talking about this conference for weeks and there really isn’t anything that will change while you’re gone. I think you should go.”
“If you think it will be fine, I’ll go ahead and go,” Jake said, not feeling confident that he was making the best decision. “I think I’ll sit with her awhile, if that’s okay.”
“More than okay,” Sue said, patting his arm as he got up from the table and walked to Anna’s room. Taking a deep breath, he pushed her half-closed door open and was glad to see her looking peaceful. Sitting in the chair next to her bed, he softly brushed the hair along her temple back and breathed in her scent.
“Hi,” Anna whispered as she opened her eyes.
“Hi, yourself,” Jake said, picking up her hand and kissing her palm, then holding her hand close to his chest. “How are you feeling?”
“Better. Thirsty.”
Jake picked up the glass of water Sue brought in earlier and held the straw for Anna. She took a deep sip then settled back on her pillows, looking completely exhausted.
“I’m sorry to be such a bother,” she said, looking shamed by her weakness.
“You aren’t a bother, Anna. You’re sick. There’s a difference,” Jake said, not wanting her to feel embarrassed or awkward. “We’re in this in sickness and in health, right?”
“You haven’t signed on the dotted line yet,” she said with a faint smile, making him chuckle.
“Close enough,” he said, smiling back. They visited a bit more before Jake could see Anna fighting to keep her eyes open.
“Go ahead and sleep, Sugar. Don’t fight it. But before you nod off, do you remember I’m supposed to leave in the morning for a conference?”
Anna nodded her head slightly, eyes closed.
“If you want me to stay, just say the word and I won’t go,” Jake was hoping she would say she needed him, that she wanted him to stay.
Anna swallowed, then opened her eyes. “Go, Jake. You need to go. I’ll be fine. Love you.”
“I love you, too, Anna. So much,” Jake said, bending over to give her a soft kiss on the lips. “I’ll see you Friday morning as soon as I get back.”
Anna had already drifted back to sleep.
<><><>
Jake left early the next morning for his conference. It began at noon that day and ran until 6 p.m. the following evening.
As soon as the plane lifted off, a sense of dread settled over Jake that he couldn’t shake. He normally enjoyed attending the conference, learning new techniques and advanced applications, networking with other extension agents, gleaning all manner of useful information. But his heart wasn’t in it this year.
He managed to make it through the last meeting and had just returned to his hotel room when his cell phone rang. Keying into his room, he tossed his briefcase and coat on the bed and answered, not bothering to see who was calling.
“This is Jake.”
“Jake, it’s Sue.”
“Sue, how did it go today? What did the doctor say?” he asked. “Did you just get out of the appointment? I thought I’d hear from you sooner.”
“We… we just,” Sue’s voice was starting to break. Fear wound icy fingers around Jake’s throat until he struggled to breathe.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Jake finally asked, leaning against the wall for support.
“Anna… Anna has a brain tumor,” Sue was openly crying now. “The doctor wants to get a second opinion and made an appointment for tomorrow afternoon at the university hospital in Portland. He’s thinks it may be cancer.”
Jake couldn’t speak, not when his legs gave out beneath him and he slid to the floor.
“Jake? Jake? Are you still there?” Sue asked.
“Yeah, I’m here. I’ll be home first thing in the morning. Thanks for letting me know and tell Anna I love her.” Jake disconnected the call, sitting in stunned silence before he bowed his head to his knees and wept.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Knowing he wouldn’t sleep, Jake took a cab to the airport at midnight, hoping to catch an earlier flight. With no luck, he sat and prayed until it was time for his scheduled flight that landed just before 8 a.m. Running through the airport, he raced to his pickup then drove straight to the Zimmerman’s.
Barely knocking on the door, he stepped into the warm kitchen and right into his own mother’s arms.
“Oh, honey,” Maggie said, as she hugged her son. Ken called Maggie and Tom early that morning and let them know the news. Maggie rushed right over and she and Sue had been consoling each other when Jake arrived.
“How is she?” he asked, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. He hadn’t cried since he was eight years old and fallen out of a tree, but he shed enough tears the night before to last him the rest of his li
fe.
“Resting. She’s been asking for you,” Sue said. “Go sit with her a while and then we’ll talk.”
Taking off his coat and hanging it by the kitchen door, Jake hurried into Anna’s bedroom and found her exactly as he’d left her - asleep, looking pale and tired. Sitting down in the chair, he stared at her for the longest time, willing her to be well, to be his vibrant, spunky little mouse.
She stirred. Sensing his presence, she opened her eyes and turned to him with a smile. “I missed you.”
Dropping to his knees next to the bed, he leaned over and kissed her lips while holding tightly to her hand. “I’m so sorry I left. I should never have gone. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Anna said in her practical manner. “What could you have done if you’d been here? It wouldn’t have changed anything.”
“I should have been here, though,” Jake argued. “I needed to be here with you. Here for you.”
“I’m just glad you’re here now,” she said, holding onto his hand. “I kind of like you.”
“I like you, too.” Jake let out a choppy laugh, full of emotion. “Anna, I..”
“Jake, don’t,” Anna said with more strength than he would have thought she could possess at this point. “I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to think about. Nothing is definite. It’s only an opinion. This afternoon will be time enough to decide what needs done. For now, I just want you to hold me.”
“But Anna,” Jake buried his head in the blankets next to her, trying to regain his composure. How could she be so practical at a time like this? How could she not want to talk about what loomed before them?
When he felt her fingers gently stroking his hair, he thought it might be his complete undoing. Taking a deep breath then another, he finally lifted his head and looked into those violet eyes he had come to know so well.
“Please,” Anna whispered on a smile.
“Baby, I’m so sorry,” Jake rasped out around the lump in his throat. Kicking off his boots, he scooted onto the bed and gently cradled her in his arms.
“I feel better already,” Anna said, drifting back to sleep in his embrace, her head nestled against his chest.
Jake didn’t move, continuing to hold Anna while she slept. His own eyes eventually drifted shut and that is how Sue and Maggie found them an hour later. Both sleeping, Anna held tenderly in Jake’s arms, his head resting on top of hers.
Maggie stayed throughout the morning keeping Sue company, sharing thoughts and fears and love from their hearts. Ken knew he couldn’t sit around the house and went into work for a while, as had Lisa. Sam tried to stay busy in the shop, but wandered in regularly to check on everyone.
Jake came into the kitchen just before noon helping Anna walk into the room. She decided she wanted a change of scenery, so she sat at the table, nibbling on some toast while the rest of them ate. After lunch, she took a shower, got dressed, did her hair and applied some mascara, then sat in the overstuffed chair in her room, exhausted. She wasn’t sure how she was going to make the hour long trip to the city and home again. Sighing, she leaned her head back and prayed, as she’d done a hundred times in the last two days, begging God to let her be well. Now that her life seemed so full and wonderful, she wasn’t ready to accept anything that could alter her happiness. Hanging on to the hope that the doctor was wrong, she would wait for the verdict from today’s appointment before she made any decisions.
As much as she loved Jake, she wouldn’t keep him tied to their engagement if she was going to become an invalid. She certainly wouldn’t allow him to watch her die if it turned out to be cancer or inoperable. She suddenly had a new understanding of how Sam must have felt when he awakened from the car accident to find his life so suddenly and uncontrollably altered.
Instead of dwelling on the pain in her head, the dizziness or the appointment ahead, Anna chose instead to think of Jake, The Cottage and their wedding. She had the perfect picture of the ceremony in her head with a blue sky overhead, fruit trees in full blossom and the rose arbor twined with white flowers. She closed her eyes and envisioned how handsome Jake would look, how pretty her dress would be and then they would seal their vows with a kiss.
Anna could smell Jake’s spicy aftershave, feel the warmth of his presence, taste his lips on hers, giving her the softest of kisses. It took her a moment to realize she wasn’t just dreaming him, but that he was leaning over her chair, kissing her awake.
“It’s time to go, Sugar,” Jake said, smiling as she opened her eyes. “Do you want me to carry you out?”
“No, I’ll walk,” Anna said, taking Jake’s hand as he helped her to her feet. She picked up her purse and walked out the bedroom door into the hall, grateful for the steady support of his arm around her. Anna laughed as she thought how she must look, weaving down the hallway.
“What’s so funny?” Jake asked as they came into the kitchen.
“I’m picturing what I look like walking. Probably something like a drunk at closing time, I’m guessing.”
“Not quite,” Jake said with a chuckle. “Not even close.”
By then, Ken arrived home and it was decided to take Sue’s larger car so the four of them could drive into the city together.
Maggie offered to stay behind and cook dinner, but Sue encouraged her to go home and rest, promising one of them would call after they heard what the doctor had to say.
The drive to the hospital was quiet, everyone lost in their own thoughts. Anna couldn’t take the somber atmosphere. It was too depressing and she felt like they were on their way to a funeral. She decided someone needed to chase away the sense of melancholy and knew just what to say to make it happen.
“Hey, Dad, remember the time Sam decided if he pedaled his bike fast enough around the inside of the granary he’d be able to ride it to the top?”
Ken chuckled at the memory. “Sam spent the better part of an afternoon trying to prove his theory and the adventure ended when his bike toppled on top of him, splitting open his lip.”
“Don’t forget the time he decided to climb up the rope on the backyard swing,” Sue added. “I kept telling him he was going to fall and break something. Sure enough, he broke his arm and spent half the summer in a cast. Goodness sakes, but he was miserable.”
“What about you, Anna?” Jake asked, enjoying the family stories. “Did you ever get hurt doing something wild and crazy?”
“Of course not,” Anna said, looking indignant.
“Now, Sugar, you had almost as many spills as Tuff,” her dad said. “Remember the time you and your brother collided bikes? The kids both had motorbikes then, it was handy to have them zip around the farm and get things done. Sugar was riding hers around one corner of the barn and Tuff came around from the other side. She saw him first, started to swerve and the bike came out from under her. And what did her brother do but run right over the top of her. How many cracked ribs did you have, Sugar? One or two?”
“One, Daddy. Thanks for sharing that story,” Anna said, dryly. Not that she had a glamorous image with Jake to start with, but these family tales weren’t going to help her cause at all.
“Remember the time you left the tractor with a full tank of spray sitting out by the house while you ran in to make a quick phone call, Ken?” Sue said. “Anna was about five at the time and thought it was a water hose. She was out there spraying it all over herself, the dog, everywhere. I just knew Ken had poisoned my baby. I think I nearly scrubbed her skin off, trying to make sure the spray was all gone.”
“Then there was the time Sugar was out checking the gopher traps,” Ken said, looking over his shoulder at Jake. “You should know she’s about the best trapper I’ve ever run across and that is saying something. Don’t tell Tuff I said that, though. Anyway, she was setting some new traps and was just ready to set a trap down a hole when out came Mr. Gopher at full speed. Anna ended up with her hand caught in the trap, dancing around, trying to keep the gopher from getting back in the hole
while she got herself out of the mess.”
Jake was laughing, envisioning Anna and her gopher trapping antics. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Nope. Dead on truth, that is.” Ken said, warming up to the storytelling.
“Oh, look isn’t that the exit for the hospital?” Anna asked pointing ahead. This conversation had gone on long enough to suit her. What happened to them making fun of Sam? How had this conversation continued at her expense, she’d like to know? When her dad looked back at her and grinned, she rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically.
Everyone was laughing as they pulled into the parking lot. They quickly found Dr. O’Brien’s office and sat quietly in the waiting room. They didn’t have long to wait until they were called back into a conference room. Seated around the table, they were soon joined by a man of medium height with sandy hair, ruddy cheeks and a warm smile. He shook everyone’s hand, introducing himself and then placed a folder on the table in front of him as he took a seat.
“After studying Anna’s test results, I think what we are looking at is an acoustic neuroma,” Dr. O’Brien explained. “I could give you a bunch of medical mumbo jumbo you won’t understand, so here it is, in plain English. Anna has a brain tumor. I’m ninety-nine percent sure it is not cancer.”
The four people sitting around the table from Dr. O’Brien let out a collective sigh of relief.
“This type of tumor is most always benign. It will not spread to other parts of her body or invade tissue surrounding it. It will, however, damage nerves as it grows. What happens is there are cells that form a protective covering around nerve fibers and sometimes a little cluster starts to grow out of those cells. This particular nerve connects the ear to the brain, and is located behind the ear right under the brain. The tumor is growing on her right side. From the information I have here, Anna has no hearing in that ear as it is. This is a good thing, because after the surgery she would have most likely lost hearing in that ear anyway. These types of tumors aren’t common, but I have done several surgeries of this type and they were all successful. It appears that while Anna’s tumor has been slow growing, it has decided to take on a growth spurt, causing her physical symptoms. Without the symptoms, Anna may have lived her entire life and not known the tumor was there. Some typical symptoms are dizziness, balance problems, vomiting and nausea, headaches, sleepiness. From the report here, it seems Anna has had quite a time with all of these recently.”
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