“I used to walk out here to think while I was waiting for Clay to come back to me,” Callan said as they strolled down the frozen pathway. “The two weeks Clay was in a coma gave me plenty of time to look back over my life and see every single moment I had wasted, every unkind word I could never take back, every lost opportunity that would never come again to tell him I loved him. I learned the hard way, Jake. Don’t live your life with regrets. Each day comes to you as a gift. Be thankful for it and use it wisely. I know you have regrets from the past. We all do. The secret to moving forward is to leave them in the past. Forgive yourself. Ask God to forgive you, then let it go. Live today and look toward the future. You’ve got a beautiful future waiting for you with a very special girl. Accept that blessing and be thankful for it every single day.”
Jake stopped walking and looked at Callan. Unable to speak, he gave her a hug and finally whispered. “Thanks, Callan. Thanks for understanding. I wasn’t sure anyone else could.”
Pulling back, Callan put her gloved hands on his cheeks and smiled. “If anyone does, Jake, it’s me. I wasted three years of my life wallowing in regret. Three years of time wasted I could have spent loving Clay instead of pushing him away. Thankfully, I got a second chance.”
Callan put her arm through Jake’s and they continued their walk. “Anna is a wonderful girl, and I can’t tell you how much we love her already. It would take someone pretty special to deserve you and I know she is the one.”
Callan turned a teasing look at Jake, giving him a knowing smile. “She’d have to be to put up with all your nonsense. Now what is this about you not letting her decorate the master bedroom? She and I had it all planned when you told her to leave that room to you. Just what, exactly, do you know about interior decorating?”
Glad for a safe topic and Callan’s teasing, Jake warmed to the subject. “I want to make it extra special, Callan. I know she has all these plans, and she is sticking to a budget, but I want it to be something…magical, not practical.”
“And do you have any thoughts on how to make it magical?” Callan asked with a warm smile.
“Well, sort of, a few… I was actually hoping you could help me.”
“You know I’d love to. If you tell me what you had in mind, I’m sure we can figure something out.”
<><><>
The surgery took nine hours and by the time the doctor came to tell them it was over and Anna was doing well, the entire family was irritable, tired and restless.
Dr O’Brien walked up to the group, looking exhausted, but wearing a smile.
“Sorry it took a bit longer than we planned, but the surgery went very well. No problems. The tumor was a little harder to remove than we thought, but we got it all and Anna, once recovered, should not have any more problems with it. She is in recovery right now and we’ll move her soon to ICU. She’s going to be pretty groggy and out of it, but I’ll have a nurse let you know when you can come see her. I advise one at a time. She’ll be in ICU until probably tomorrow afternoon before moving to a regular room and then, if she does well, she should be able to go home by the weekend.”
Maggie and Tom, along with Clay, Callan, Josh and Jenna, stayed until a nurse came to tell them she would let one visitor in to see Anna. “We’ll go on home now, Jake, but we can come back tomorrow to wait with you if you like,” Maggie said, kissing her son’s cheek.
“I’ll call you in the morning, Mom, and let you know,” Jake said. He wanted to run down the hall and into ICU to see Anna, but thought her mom should get to see her first.
The nurse was waiting, so Jake turned to Sue and Ken. “Sue, why don’t you go ahead and see her.”
Sue offered him a watery smile and patted his arm. “I don’t think so, Jake. If she wakes up, you need to be the first person she sees. You go ahead. Just don’t forget I want to get in there eventually and see my baby girl.”
Squeezing her hand, Jake offered a nod of thanks and followed the nurse. He found Anna hooked up to a variety of monitors, not looking any paler than she’d been the last week and she seemed restful. Sitting on a chair next to the narrow bed, he gently took her hand and stroked his thumb across the back of it.
“Hey, Sugar, you did just fine,” he said quietly. Then he realized Anna wouldn’t be able to hear him even if she was awake. Speaking a bit louder, he went on. “Dr. O’Brien said everything went well and you should be able to go home by the weekend. That’s great news, isn’t it? Mom and Dad came with Clay, Callan, Josh and Jenna and they stayed all day. Did you know that Callan and Clay think you are the best thing that ever happened to me? Well, to tell you the truth I agree with them. I love you. So much.”
Jake sat for a few minutes longer, just holding her hand and watching her sleep. He decided he probably better let the rest of the family have a turn and got up from the chair. Carefully letting go of Anna’s hand he started to place it back on her blankets when he heard her whisper, “Don’t go.”
Picking her hand back up, he leaned over and softly kissed her cheek. “I’m right here, Anna. I’m right here.”
Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at him. Even in her groggy state, he could see a smile flitting around the corners of her mouth. “Love you,” she whispered so quietly he had to lean over to hear her, but grinned at what she said.
“I love you, Sugar. Forever and always. Your mom is practically dancing to get in here, so I’m going to let her have a turn, but I’ll be back later, okay?”
“Okay,” she said, shutting her eyes again.
<><><>
Jake found it hard to sleep so he drove himself to the hospital early the next morning. When the nurse finally agreed to let him sit with Anna, he brought in a basket full of assorted gum and a pair of her old glasses, minus one arm piece.
Assuming he would find her asleep, he was surprised to see she was awake. “Hi, Sugar. How are you feeling today?” he asked as he bent to kiss her cheek.
“Better and awful,” she said, taking the glasses and putting them on. “Oh, that is a help. I’m so tired of squinting trying to see what’s going on, I think that is giving me a headache in itself.” Digging through the basket of gum, she selected a package and unwrapped a piece. “That tastes wonderful,” she said, chewing away. “Thank you so much.”
“Did you sleep at all?” Jake asked, sitting down in the chair next to the bed.
“Not much. It seemed like about the time I’d go to sleep, someone would come poke or prod me. ICU is not the most restful place.”
Jake grinned. Anna’s chatter was a great sign. Her color was better and she seemed more alert than she’d been for days.
Once the doctor arrived to check on her, he decided she was doing well enough to be moved to a regular room. By the time her folks arrived, she was already settled and they all could fit in the room at one time. The doctor came and went over what she would need to be able to do before they would release her and, amazing everyone, got the go-ahead to be released Thursday morning.
By the time her four-week check-up rolled around, Anna was feeling like a new person. Her only problem, other than getting tired easily, was a daily headache. A cup of coffee or some caffeine loaded tea seemed to get rid of it. After giving her a clean bill of health and an appointment for a six-month follow up appointment, the doctor declared Anna fit to do whatever she wanted.
Getting back to driving was tops on her list. She hated being at the mercy of everyone to chauffeur her around and she felt like such a bother to them. Her mom and Jake had taken so much time off work to take care of her, she was glad to be reclaiming more of her independence every day.
While she was recuperating, Anna decided that working as a librarian wasn’t really something she wanted to pursue as a lifelong career. She loved reading and books and always would, but she truly enjoyed research and fact checking. She contacted the company she worked for before moving back to the farm and was able to talk them into letting her do the work from home on a temporary basis. If both parties w
ere pleased with the arrangement, the company agreed to make it permanent. Anna knew she would still need to get out and around people, so she planned to continue working part-time at the library.
For now, she was working two afternoons a week at the library. She worked from home in the mornings researching and checking facts, with the rest of her free time dedicated to The Cottage, wedding plans, and building her strength back up. She had just two months before their wedding date and she planned to be back at one hundred percent by then.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
The first of March, Jake packed up his belongings from the house he had shared the last five years with his friends and drove out to The Cottage. Since the furniture and appliances would arrive in a few weeks and he was spending more time there than anywhere else, he decided it made sense for him to move in. Not only that, but he would be saving a couple months of paying rent as well.
Dave came out after work to help Jake unload his truck and horse trailer. He hadn’t ever needed a lot of stuff, but what he had was good quality. He and Anna decided to incorporate the pieces he owned into the house and he knew what room she and Callan had planned for his bedroom furniture. He and Dave moved in the bed frame and headboard, lugged in the mattress set, dresser and nightstand. His computer, desk, office chair, an oak bookcase, filing cabinet, two lamps and stereo system would go in the second spare bedroom, creating his own office space. A microwave and a small flat-screen television were placed in the kitchen. His assorted boxes of books and memorabilia would go into a storage closet for now until Jake had time to sort through them. Dave helped him lug his bar bell, weights, and other gym equipment down to the basement.
Jake also had an antique steamer trunk that belonged to Grammy and was happy to bring it back to the house where it had sat for so many years. Anna mentioned that she thought it should go in the great room.
He and Dave were just carrying in the trunk when Anna came in the front door, eyeing them curiously.
“Hi,” she said, giving him a peck on the cheek and smiling at Dave. “What are you guys doing?”
“Oh, just moving Jake in,” Dave said, continuing on to the great room, carrying his end of the trunk.
“Moving you in?” Anna asked in a voice that said Jake was about to step into trouble, if he wasn’t already in it knee deep.
“Well, sure,” Jake said, about to remind Anna of his plans then realizing he hadn’t actually got around to verbalizing them to her. That could be a problem if Anna was of a mind to be difficult. One look at her face confirmed that she was of a mind to be exactly that. “I, um…I …. Where did you want this?”
Anna pointed to a corner of the room. “Right there would be just fine. Thank you so much for helping, Dave. It really is kind of you.” After thanking Dave, she disappeared down the hallway.
“I think I’m going to head on out, Jake,” Dave said as he walked to the front door.
“Can’t we at least feed you dinner?” Jake asked.
“I think I better go. I could be wrong, but I’m thinking Anna isn’t too happy with you about something and I don’t plan to stick around to find out what. See you at work tomorrow, if you survive,” Dave teased as he hustled out the door.
“Thanks, Davey. Thanks a lot,” Jake hollered after him. Quietly shutting the door, Jake took a deep breath before going to look for Anna. He found her in the kitchen, pacing the floor.
“What are you doing?” Anna asked, angry sparks shooting from her eyes.
“Moving my stuff in, what does it look like?” Jake said, starting to shoot a few sparks of his own. His day at work had been long, it had taken twice as long as he expected to load and move his stuff and, having missed lunch, he was nearly starving. The last thing he wanted to do was stand here and be hassled over something ridiculous. This was his house after all. He was the one who owned it. Who did she think she was to come marching in acting all high-and-mighty? He didn’t need her permission to do anything.
“Well, when were you going to bother to tell me about it?” Anna asked. Standing against the counter with her arms crossed tightly across her chest, she looked hurt and betrayed. “Did you stop to consider that I might want to know your plans?”
“I meant to tell you, I just forgot is all,” Jake said, losing his patience. What was her problem?
“Did it not occur to you that perhaps the topic should be discussed?” Anna asked, trying not to shout. She was clenching her hands to her sides and her chin lifted in its stubborn tilt. “I assumed we’d be moving in the house together right after the wedding. I didn’t have any idea you had other plans.”
“Well, maybe you should learn not to assume,” Jake ground out, looking at Anna with narrowed eyes.
“Well, maybe you should learn to communicate,” Anna snapped. “I can’t read your mind, you know. Any other plans you happened to forget to share that I might want to know about?”
Straightening to his full height, which he knew could be intimidating, Jake turned loose his temper with his voice booming. “What’s the big deal anyway? It’s my house and I can do what I please. You don’t own me. Since when do I have to tell you my plans?”
He expected her to shoot back some lippy comment and was ready to take her down a peg. What he didn’t anticipate was her lip beginning to quiver or her eyes filling with tears. When she finally spoke it was softly, her tear-filled eyes looking him square in the face.
“Since you put this ring on my finger and asked me to marry you. I thought we were partners, Jake. Partners discuss things like when one or both of us would be moving into our home. But I was clearly mistaken. There is obviously no partnership here with you. Also your clarification that this is your home, not ours, is most insightful. And if that is truly how you feel, then this isn’t such a good idea after all.”
“Well, maybe it’s not,” Jake barked. Leaning against the counter, he glared at her. He had no clue what Anna thought wasn’t a good idea, but he was in the mood to be argumentative and contrary.
She soon made it clear.
Anna gave him a long look before pulling off her engagement ring and placing it quietly on the counter. Without saying a word, she walked past him through the kitchen and toward the front door.
Jake picked up the ring and studied it. If he let her walk out the door, he knew the best thing that had ever happened to him would walk right out of his life. She was just turning the knob on the door when he swallowed his temper and pride, ran to the front door and caught her in his arms.
“I’m sorry, Sugar. Don’t leave. I didn’t mean what I said,” Jake said, genuinely contrite. This being a team thing was taking a bit of work and adjustment. He admitted he was tired, hungry, and out of sorts, but that still wasn’t any reason to take out his frustration on Anna. Especially when she had a valid point.
“This house is your home. Our home. I’m just so used to doing my own thing, making my own plans, I forget to include you sometimes. I promise I’ll try to do better.” Jake rubbed his hands along her back, hoping she would relax just a little, give him a sign he might have some hope of being forgiven.
“And not be mean,” Anna prompted, her head against his chest, still holding herself stiffly.
Jake rolled his eyes and smiled. “And not be mean. I really am sorry. I didn’t think how it would seem to you to show up and find me moved in. Will you please forgive me?”
Jake pleaded his case by nuzzling her neck, knowing it was hard for her to say no when he did that. He felt her nod. Picking up her hand, he slipped the ring back on her finger then kissed it.
“Will you marry me, Anna? Even with my breach of appropriate fiancé-like conduct?”
Anna laughed and half-heartedly smacked his arm, “Yes, Mr. Grouchy, I’ll still marry you. Maybe now would be a good time to share your plan,” Anna said, pulling back so she could look Jake in the face. “Why did you decide to move in today?”
“Well, I’ll tell you, but I’m half starved, there isn’t a thing to eat
here and I wanted to bring out a load of horses yet tonight. Will you ride with me to Mom and Dad’s?” Jake asked as he led her out the door and walked toward his pickup.
“Only if you promise to feed me,” she said as he opened the passenger side door of his pickup. Knowing Jake, they’d eat dinner with his folks, then he’d be in a hurry to load the horses and by then it would be dark and then… Anna decided she didn’t want to worry about it. “Okay, so you decided to move in today because?”
“Well, I have four good reasons,” Jake said, turning onto the highway, headed toward his parents’ home. “First of all, I didn’t want to keep paying rent when I didn’t have to. We can use the money for either the wedding or the house. Second of all, I spend more time here than anywhere else so it seemed stupid to keep driving into town just to sleep. Third, the furniture will be arriving soon and I don’t like leaving the place empty, especially at night. I want everyone to know the house is occupied, not vacant.”
Jake grew quiet as he stared at the road, lost in his thoughts.
“You said you had four reasons. That’s only three,” Anna prompted, from her side of the pickup.
Jake grinned at her, a grin that said he was a little shy about sharing the last reason. “The fourth reason… the fourth reason… dang it all, Anna. It’s because it makes me feel closer to you to be there, to dream about our life together.” His voice dropped a notch when he added, “To dream about you.”
“That’s the best reason of them all,” Anna whispered as she stretched across the seat and kissed his cheek. “Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?”
<><><>
By the time they had dinner with Maggie and Tom, Jake decided it was too late to move the horses and came back the next day to move them all. Clay offered to help so in two trips each, they got all of Jake’s registered quarter horses moved. He was working on building up his herd and was confident that with the stallion he purchased the previous year, the new crop of babies would be real winners. He offered to bring Anna’s horse to The Cottage as well and she readily agreed.
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