Scott: How can I have done it already? Where did I put Doe, up my arse?
Suki: Mr Wonderful can’t multi-task?
Scott: God you’re a bitch. See you at half ten.
My mouth drops open. I’m a bitch but okay to come around so he can sleep. And there was no mention of the awkward moments from last night and this morning. Christ, I bet he doesn’t even know he’s doing it. Well, while I’m teaching him about Doe, I think I’ll give him a few words about the treatment of women. Maybe, aahhh, yes… that should do it. I think.
Now I’m looking forward to going back.
Scott lets me back into his flat and to be fair he does look absolutely knackered. After dropping the bags from Leah in the hallway, I take Doe out of his hands. “Go get a shower, smelly boy… and some clean clothes.”
“What’s the point? They don’t stay clean for long.” He says, but he heads off to his room anyway. Outside his room he stops and turns to look at the bags on the floor. “Is that stuff to help me clean the room out? Like black plastic bags etc?”
“Nope. Leah sent a pile of stuff they don’t need any longer.”
He scrubs a hand through his hair. “Sarah says she’s visiting and has some stuff too. I mean how much does a tiny baby need? We’re supposed to be tidying up, but I’m being overrun.”
“We can go through it all. I’m sure you don’t need to keep everything, but babies keep growing and needing new things. We need to make sure Carl builds in good storage into Doe’s room.”
“I’m too tired to think about anything else. Seriously, I thought hangovers were bad, late nights from the pub or coming home in the early hours after servicing a woman, but fucking hell.” I watch as he sways in the doorway. “It’s got nothing on sleep deprivation due to a baby.”
“I’ll make some supper because I’ve brought some leftovers from the restaurant in with this lot, and then I might let you go to bed.”
“I didn’t even get time to eat today, apart from a slice of bread. Didn’t even have time to butter it, Suki. I mean what did I do all day? Right, I’m gonna get changed into a clean top.” He goes into his bedroom. I take Doe into the living room and after some gorgeous snuggles I put her down and start reheating food.
My fun starts as Scott comes back into the living room. I pass him his food to rest on his lap and put a glass of water near him on the coffee table.
“I missed Doe today.” I tell Scott truthfully.
“She’s beautiful. I’ve not had a minute and now I have I can’t stop staring at her. It’s crazy.”
“Yet in the blink of an eye she’ll be at school and then she’ll be dating.”
I watch his face turn pale and he swallows. “Dating. No, I can’t deal.”
“You’ll be having to vet them all for their suitability. Although… what if she’s just in a bar some night and gets charmed by a random bartender who shags her, doesn’t even ask her name and then fucks her off?”
His face is puce. “I’d fucking kill him. Oh my fucking god.” He gets up, pacing the living room. “How am I not dead, Suki? I’ve done this to so many women. Where are their father’s? There might be a Facebook group. Angry fathers with pitchforks, coming to chop off my dick for what I’ve done to their daughters. I need a church, Suki. I need to repent.”
I’m in fits watching his meltdown.
“She is not dating a ‘me’. Over my dead body.”
“Well, you might be dead if those pitchfork bearing dads come after you.”
He sits on the sofa in shock. “I really have been a shit.”
Just when I think I’m not only tormenting him but getting him to see his treatment of women is not the best he declares.
“I must remember to ask them their names, and maybe write it on the back of my hand, just until I get home.”
“There’s no hope. You really are a shit.” I announce. “Now if you’ve eaten you might as well go to bed.”
“Alone? Or are you offering? Only it’s been a couple of days and I’ve got blue balls.”
“Enough.” I yell and then I look at Doe, thanking God I haven’t just woken her up. “Scott. I can’t do this here. I know at work we banter, but here I can’t deal with it. This is a space for us to work together as best we can to look after Doe. If you’re going to be staring at my soaked boobs, leering... well, it can’t be good for Doe hearing me getting pissed off with you.”
I’m shocked when I see Scott’s shoulders slump. “I’m sorry, Suki. You’re right. It’s just… everything is changing and right now you’re the only constant. You still detest me. You’re here for Doe which I really appreciate. That’s why I was trying to banter. That and well, I’m going to be honest. I’m a slut and I haven’t had sex. I’m gagging for it.”
“For God’s sake, go to bed, have a wank, and get some sleep.” I announce.
“You sound so romantic.” He smirks.
“Go. Now. I’ll talk to you in a few hours when Doe wakes us up for a feed.” I tell him.
“Night, Suki,” he says. Then he turns back.
“If you come kiss your daughter’s head and wake her up, then you stay with her,” I tell him straight.
“God, all right. Keep your hair on. If there’s any down there.”
“SCOTT.”
“It’s the last one, I promise.” He chuckles as he leaves the room.
“Your daddy still has a lot to learn about us women, hasn’t he, Doe?” I coo into the cot. “He needs a crash course in how to treat a lady.”
Chapter Eleven
Scott
The sound of Doe’s soft cries wakes me in the night, but the moment I hear Suki’s soothing voice I almost instantly pass back out knowing that she’s in safe hands. The last few days have completely drained me and I honestly don’t know what I’d have done tonight if it wasn’t for Suki. Never ever will I look at a mum again and judge her for not having washed her hair or for wearing clothes that are about two days past going in the washer. This shit is hard fucking work. I also understand why women do it time and time again without so much of a second thought because the look that brightens up Doe’s face even when I so much as look at her is addictive as fuck. If I saw that every day for the rest of my life, then I’d die a seriously fucking happy man.
It wasn’t just Doe that wiped me out though. While she was napping, I attempted to make some headway on the spare room in the hope that I wouldn’t have to do some of it with Suki watching my every move. There’s a very good reason why all that stuff is hidden behind that door; it’s because I don’t want to have to remember that time of my life and the pain that came along with it. But as much as I’ve wanted to forget, I’ve also never been able to get rid of the boxes of her stuff. It’s always helped me feel connected to her even though she’s been gone a long time now.
I feel so much better when I throw my legs over the edge of the bed the next morning. I’ve had almost a full night’s sleep and I think I might be emotionally stable enough to do what needs to be done.
After a visit to the bathroom, I make my way into the living room to check on the girls. Suki is laid out on the sofa with a sleeping Doe curled up on her chest.
Assuming she’s fallen asleep like it, I walk over to take Doe from her.
“It’s okay, I’m awake,” Suki whispers, scaring the shit out of me. “Just enjoying cuddle time.”
I stare down at the two of them and something happens in my chest. It constricts, physically aches, at the sight. This is what Doe should have. Two loving parents. Yet it’s something she’s possibly never going to experience.
“A- Are you okay?” Suki’s eyes scan my face. Fearing she can see too much, I turn and walk to the kitchen, announcing that I’m going to make coffee.
I hear movement behind me, but I don’t turn to look at what she’s doing.
Thankfully, the noise from the coffee machine drowns out some of the thoughts. I grab a couple of mugs and turn to get the milk, but before my eyes find the fridge,
they land on Suki, who’s standing in the doorway with her eyebrows knitted together and one of my hoodies pulled tightly around her.
“Are you sure you’re okay? You seemed kind of manic last night, and this morning… well, you just look sad.”
“I’m fine. The last few days are just taking their toll.” I refuse to admit to her, or myself, that I’m afraid that things might get too much for me. I can’t allow myself to go there because Doe needs at least one stable parent. My stress and anxiety right now need to take a backseat. It’s controlled me once before and it’s a time in my life I’d rather not revisit ever, but especially not when I’ve got a baby relying on me for everything.
“Okay, well if you need anything, you know where I am.”
Plastering on my game face, I throw over my shoulder, “Anything?”
“Within reason, Mr Sullivan.”
I turn just in time to see her bend over to run her fingers over Doe’s cheek. The hoodie she’s wearing rises up her thighs and gives me just a hint of her arse hiding beneath. I’ve always been an arse man and in those tight leggings I can’t deny that Suki’s is fine.
“I can feel you staring, Scott,” she warns without looking my way.
“Of course I am, my daughter’s beautiful.”
She laughs but doesn't say any more.
“Okay, she’s fed, happy, and sleeping. Time to tackle that bedroom. You ready?” I swallow nervously. “Why are you scared? It’s just a room full of crap.”
I nod and rise from the sofa as she does. I refrain from telling her that it’s not just crap. Depending on how the next few hours go she might just find out for herself how much some stuff in there means to me.
We clear out my gym equipment. Suki suggests that I put it all up for sale online seeing as it’s covered in at least a year’s worth of dust.
I agree and after giving it a wipe down, I snap a few photos before lining it all along the wall in my bedroom temporarily.
There are a couple of old suitcases, a bag of wrapping paper and some Christmas cards that have fallen out of their box that I had all good intentions about but never did anything with.
“Don’t get me wrong, I just didn’t really have you down as the kind of guy to decorate this place and to get into the Christmas spirit aside from some mistletoe action.”
“You’re right. They’ve not been put up in years.”
“Awesome, something else that can go then.”
“No,” I say in a panic as she goes to put the box in the hallway.
“Okay?” She hesitates before placing it down behind her, eyeing me curiously.
“Doe will want it decorated when the time comes, I’m not buying it all again.”
The truth is, that tree and all the boxes of decorations were my mums. Every year I’d sit excitedly at the top of the stairs while she climbed up into our attic to get everything down. We’d blast cheesy Christmas music as loud as we could and we’d decorate the entire house together. It was always my favourite time of year, until it became my worst.
“I guess you’re right. We’ll just need somewhere better to store it.” I breathe a sigh of relief that she’s bought my lie. I’m aware that if Doe does stay with me permanently, then Christmas is something that I’m going to have to learn to celebrate again. It suddenly seems like it might be so much easier to bear if I’ve got Doe’s happy face helping me.
“Scott?” Suki asks, her voice lifting a tone or two as she rummages through a box. “Is there something you need to tell me?”
Not knowing what she’s found, I turn around just as she’s pulling one of Mum’s old dresses from a box. It was the one she’s wearing in all of my fondest memories, hence why it’s in here sitting in a box.
“I know you’re into all kinds of shit, but I didn’t have dressing up as a woman as one of them.” She laughs as she goes to refold it but before she has a chance, I snatch it from her hands. I bring it to my nose, but the smell I long for is no longer there. It’s just a damp musty smell that doesn’t make me feel any better. “Scott?” Her eyes take on that soppy look they do whenever she turns Doe’s way and I hate it, but the lump in my throat grows too big for me to be able to tell her to stop it.
Reaching out, she places her hand on my forearm in support.
“It’s okay. I… uh… won’t tell anyone.”
A laugh falls from my lips at the expression on her face.
“I don’t dress as a woman, Suki. This was… this was my mum’s favourite.” Sucking in a deep breath, I finally admit the truth. “Most of this stuff in here belonged to her. I’ve not been able to part with it.”
Her chin drops as her eyes bounce between mine. I hate that I can see the tears swimming within them, but there’s not much I can do about it. Thinking of Mum and that time of my life turns me into an emotional mess at the best of times. Standing here, surrounded by her stuff definitely doesn't make it any easier. My hands tremble as I clutch the fabric tighter.
“Sit down,” she encourages.
I bend my knees and find I slide down the wall I didn’t know I’d stumbled back into.
“It’s okay to be sad, Scott.” She sits beside me and places her warm palm on my jean covered thigh. Her contact and support feels good. It’s a long time since I’ve felt it. I’m more used to a woman’s touch leading to something else these days than I am them giving me a shoulder to cry on.
“I should be over this by now,” I admit, feeling embarrassed that it still brings me to my knees all these years on.
“I don’t think there are any rules when it comes to losing parents. I can’t say I know much about the subject seeing as I don’t have any.”
“Shit, Suki. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine.” She looks away from me as she says it, telling me that it’s anything but fine.
“I might have lost my mum but at least I had nineteen awesome years with her. I should be celebrating that.”
“You should celebrate her. I know you’ve not really told me much about her but I’m sure that’s what she’d want.
“I totally fell apart towards the end of it all. I’ve never forgiven myself for not being there in the lead up to her death.”
“But you were there in the end,” she says, remembering my previous admission about the day she died.
“Yeah but the months before that I’d been sectioned. She told me Dad was looking after her, giving her the support she needed. Turns out that was bollocks. He’d always been a waste of space and only reappeared when he’d heard she was ill in the hope of her insurance money. Arsehole. He went running back to his other family the second he discovered she’d left everything solely to me.”
Suki flinches at the hatred in my tone. “Other family?”
Reaching over to one of the boxes, I rummage through until I find what I want. Pulling the picture frame out, I hand it to Suki.
“You’ve got a brother?”
“Pfft, half-brother.” My lip curls at just the thought of him and my dad. Deacon was his first born, his special child. The one who got everything while I was left with Mum who had to work her arse off just to put food on the table and keep me clothed. “This is the only photo of us together. Dad thought it might be fun for us to get to know each other, seeing as we were so close in age. It didn’t quite go as planned.” I look over at the photograph she’s holding. We’re stood side by side, clearly as unhappy to be there as each other. We were thirteen, old enough to know what the situation was and how it came to be that there was only six months between us. “My dad was a cheating cunt,” I blurt out unintentionally.
“Was?” Suki asks hesitantly.
“Ha, no. Sadly, he’s still breathing. Fuck knows where though; I’ve not seen him for years.” I blow out a shaky breath. My sadness over going through Mum’s stuff mixing with the anger my dad always manages to bubble up inside me.
Suki turns to me, her eyes soft and kind. Something inside me instantly settles. “I understand how important some
of these things must be to you. But if we’re going to make enough space to turn this into a room for Doe then you are going to have to get rid of some stuff. But—” she adds when I go to cut her off. “I think there are probably a few ways we could recycle some of your mum’s things and make use of them in Doe’s room. How many clothes of hers do you have?
A small smile twitches at my lips. She gets this. She’s not laughing at me, she doesn’t think I’m pathetic for holding on to it all for so long, she just understands. Reaching out, I wrap my hand around hers. Her eyes fly to mine and our contact holds, something crackling between us.
Unable to fight the pull, I lean in, not giving my actions one thought. I’m a breath away from her lips when a whimper comes from the other room.
Fuck.
“I’ll go. You… carry on.” Suki jumps up and runs from the room, leaving me to bang my head back against the wall in frustration.
Chapter Twelve
Suki
Fuuuuucccccck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I cuddle a crying Doe, but Scott is only a whisper behind me.
“I know you said you’ve got it, but I couldn’t stay there and not know she’s okay,” he says softly behind me.
I hand her over to her father. His attention, that moment, having passed; his eyes now full of concern for his daughter.
“I think she’s just missing Daddy.” I say. “Look, she’s already stopped crying.”
“How am I going to do this, Suki? How will I work when I have a baby to look after?”
I smile. “Like parents the world over.”
“But I’ve no family to leave her with. She’ll have to go to daycare.”
“Plenty do.”
“I’ll have to choose one of those with video access so I can look at her throughout the day.”
“Scott.” I say sternly. “Calm down. Let’s just get through today. Your emotions are running high. We can take Doe into your room with us in her basket and then tonight I think we should share a bottle of wine. I’ll let you choose a film for us to watch.”
Hot Daddy Package: An Enemies to Lovers Romance Page 7