I just didn’t want to depend on those arms so quickly.
I’d meant what I said to Rhys. I didn’t want to be Mrs. Harvell the next time he saw me. I wanted to be free of the name and the scars, and anything else that could taint my new beginning—our new beginning. An affair of the heart was not what I had been after, but it’s what I ended up with, and I wouldn’t change a second of it. After another hour of staring at a blank piece of paper, I gave up and was thankful when my phone rang. I smiled and slid it to open, his voice greeting me instantly.
“I keep staring at this fucking picture and I want you. Fuck, I want you!” I squeezed my thighs together so tight I nearly fell off the chair. I dropped the phone and scrambled to pick it up. My breathing was erratic and I couldn’t stop picturing the things he could do to me. The way his eyes closed when he plunged his tongue inside of me. Calming my breathing and letting out a nervous laugh, I finally responded.
“There is a way to get even with me,” I rasped as I fought for control.
“Oh yeah?” His voice spiked slightly. “How?”
“Take a picture of Bryce and send it to me,” I murmured.
“Should I be jealous of my son?” he asked, amused.
“Yes, it took you a few months, it took him ten seconds,” I scolded playfully.
“Wow … maybe I could learn a thing or two from a baby who was playing in pigeon shit earlier. You know that stuff is toxic, right? God, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight.”
I burst out laughing and he chuckled.
I loved this side of him. And then I thought of the passionate and disciplined lover who commanded my body. I stayed silent and he sensed my hesitation.
“Violet, what is it?”
“Rhys, we can have both, right? This and…the other. Don’t get offended—it’s just, am I wrong to want both? We—you and me—when it comes to the bedroom, we—”
“Absolutely,” he confirmed before I could finish.
“How?”
“Better leave it to me,” he said, a slight hint of arrogance in his voice, and God how I loved it.
“How long have you been in this lifestyle?”
“I started when I was twenty-one.”
Whoa. That gave him over thirteen years of experience. And man did it show. Jealously coursed through me and I had to push it down. He had to have been with hundreds of women.
Don’t ask, Violet, it’s none of your business.
“So you have slept with hundreds of women?”
SHIT, Violet.
“You are a shitty phone date.” He sounded amused, but I knew he was on guard.
“Sorry, I’ve never dated a Dom before,” I said playfully.
“All the questions can’t be yours, anyway. I plead the fifth on my number. And you are the last and only woman I want to be Dom to. I mean that.” I sat stunned at his admission. It was the first time he had ever referred to a real future with me.
“Rhys, why were you in the chat room that night?”
“The same reason you were. It’s been a busy first fifteen months. I was bored. My days are pretty boring sometimes. You can only watch so many episodes of Bunnytown before you start to sing along then slowly plot the damn muppet’s death. I couldn’t exactly bring a sub home. I’d been a good boy.”
“But you managed to see me?” I asked, interest piqued.
“I can honestly tell you, I had no intention of doing anything but browsing. I was on my couch screening new members for the club. I saw you check in, a few hours later you hadn’t typed a word, so I spoke up.”
“And then?” I asked quickly.
“And then curiosity got the best of me. We were kind of in the same situation. We both needed the same thing at the same time. You wanted the experience, and I needed a sub without long-term expectations.”
“So I kind of fell into your lap?”
“At first I was going to let you seek out your own partner by using the club. It’s not something I’ve ever done. I just knew you were lost, and I was just as lost at one time. I felt I was leading you to a safer place.”
I thanked the stars that aligned for me that night, then asked, “Why leave it? I mean, you just told me we could have both.”
“I couldn’t own that club. Like I said, it was never something I wanted. And honestly, no subs were interested in dating a single father. I wasn’t exactly interested in dating them either at that point. Some of their needs are…insatiable. I couldn’t run out at all times of the night to fulfill those needs. I couldn’t really justify doing or starting anything with you the next day. I was determined to leave it behind until I could find a woman more suitable. And then, I saw you on the security screen.”
I stayed quiet. I wanted to hear more. He had no idea what he was doing to me. I was on fire and so wet I could have slid off my lounger. The mere sound of his voice triggered every nerve ending I had.
“And?” I prodded.
“You are just dying to hear this, aren’t you, Violet?”
“Yes,” I said, breathless. “Please tell me.”
“Are you wet now, thinking of me sucking and fucking you? I know you are. I won’t let this go there tonight.”
“Damn it to hell.” I was gasping as he chuckled at me.
“I can control your body from Savannah. Tell me, is my pretty pink pussy aching for me? It’s probably throbbing right now, swollen and needy, hungry for me to push in.”
“God…please…shut up.” I stood and walked to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face.
“You shouldn’t have run away,” he taunted as my limbs fell heavy with need.
I stood in the bathroom, seeing firsthand what he did each time he aroused me. My nipples were drawn tight, my cheeks flushed, my skin blistering hot.
“Rhys, I’m completely ready for you. How do you do this to me?” I leaned in to look at my pupils, which were dilated.
“Don’t touch, Violet,” he commanded, his low growl only making my need grow.
“I can’t, Rhys. I’ve never have been able to do that,” I whispered, breathless.
“You can’t come with your fingers?” He sounded truly shocked.
“No, I’ve tried. God, like a sixteen-year-old boy I’ve tried. I’ve just never been able to,” I admitted.
“Oh, baby, that’s a fucking tragedy,” he murmured. I sighed in reply before smiling at his term of endearment for me. Rhys had been the only man who could get me off, and so easily. I knew it had a great deal to do with our chemistry. All it took was one look from him and I was a willing participant in any game he wanted to play. The feelings I had for him now magnified it to make something that used to seem so impossible … simple, intimate, addicting, fucking perfect. Rhys didn’t just have the right set of skills, he was the right man.
“And that’s why I had a toy.” I sighed as I turned off the bathroom light and wandered into my bedroom, listening to the ocean waves, inhaling the breeze while staring at the full moon. It was spectacular. I laid down in the bed, drawing the covers up over me.
I heard Rhys moving around his house. “Toys are fucking sad excuses for men who are too lazy to do their damn job.” He sounded disgusted and I laughed.
“Well, sorry to disappoint you, baby,” I playfully added, “but it’s the only way for me…alone.”
“That’s bullshit, and I’ll prove it.” He sounded convinced. “Fuck, this is a nightmare. Is it too late to demand that you get your pussy back here right this minute?”
“Yes,” I chuckled. The sight of the moon, the smell of the ocean, and the beautiful house I was surrounded by did little to stop the next thing I told him. “But I left my heart there, Rhys.”
Silence. Shit.
What the hell are you doing, Vi?
I offered an excuse quickly, my face heating and my heart racing. “It’s really romantic here, Rhys, and I told you I love cheesy romantic movies. Can we just move forward here? Better yet, I’ll let you get some sleep.”
“Violet, stop it.” His voice was firm. “You can’t keep saying shit like that to me then take it back. If you could see me when you said it, you would know I closed my eyes and smiled. Don’t hide from me. I’ve given you no reason to.”
I lay in bed picturing his eyes closed, his smile, and sighed. “Tell me about you. Tell me about your childhood, about your parents, your sisters.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything,” I said wistfully.
We spent hours talking about our childhoods, laughing at the similarities in our upbringing. I told him how I wasn’t very popular, and though sad but true, aside from Molly, my mother was my true best friend.
“I just kind of blended in.”
“Violet, I highly doubt that,” he remarked.
“It’s true, even in college I was just kind of a homebody. Never really that reckless. I’m pretty boring, not too much of a colorful past.”
“You are more to handle than any other woman I have ever dealt with,” he said with certainty.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“I’ll let you,” he rasped playfully.
His mother was an art dealer and currently owned a gallery in downtown Savannah. His father retired several years ago as a banker. Rhys now lived in his childhood home, which he bought from his parents when they moved to their new home on Tybee Island, less than an hour away from the city. He said that house would stay in his family as long as it was in his power. He was a bit of a traditionalist.
We moved onto dating. I was more curious than ever about his past. He had the typical high school experience that included losing his virginity to a steady girlfriend, but after her he had never stayed with one girl for long. He discovered his thirst for kink when he was at his sexual peak with a partner in college.
“The more painful it was for her, the harder I got and the more excited she became, and so we sought out to find others who were into the same thing. We experimented a lot. I took it to the extremes until I found someone who taught me what I needed to know.”
“And your extreme side now?” I asked.
“Still there and is your red,” he stated plainly.
“Have I seen it all?” I asked, hoping for the answer he gave next.
“Not even close,” he said, his voice low, causing a tingle to spread down my spine.
I quickly changed the subject. Only a day apart and I was about to lose my control.
He had two sisters, Heidi and Hillary, who he nicknamed big H and little H, and he was the youngest. His sister Hillary watched Bryce once or twice a week so Rhys didn’t feel so overwhelmed. She had young children of her own, and Rhys felt guilty that his son had no one to play with. He said they used to switch out until her family multiplied to four. Heidi, the one who I had met at brunch, was a photographer and a free spirit. I could tell she was Rhys’s favorite by the way he spoke. He said she was a reluctant mother, but would be fantastic at it.
“So why the vasectomy?” I asked, curious.
“It was more at the insistence of the mother when she got pregnant. I knew it was reversible, so I did it. I don’t regret it. It’s actually great to not have to worry about it. I’m concentrating on the one kid I have for now.”
“Rhys, do you want more?” I asked, hopeful.
“Do you want another proposal of marriage, specifically from me?” he said in a mocking tone. I couldn’t tell if he was testing me or laughing at me, and I hated it.
SHUT UP, VIOLET. SHUT UP NOW.
“I’m sorry. I…you should get some sleep.” His laughter echoed through the room as I’d had him on speaker for the last hour. “Stop laughing at me! If this was a first date, you would NOT get a kiss goodnight.”
“No, I’d already have you gasping and coming and naming our future children.”
My entire body lit up like a Christmas tree at his words and I groaned in frustration. “Ugh, you are such a conceited ass,” I said, frustrated at his playfulness, my heart beat spiking at the truth of his words.
“You are so cranky when you are horny. I would love to put you out of your misery. It’s a little late for a plane, are you a good swimmer, Violet?”
“Rhys,” I said, now standing at the window again, stunned by the beauty of it. “If we…make it, I want to come back here to this very room and not talk at all for days. I can’t even explain to you how beautiful this is. A picture won’t do it justice. Just know the moon is full and the water is sparkling like it’s covered in diamonds. It smells amazing, ten times better than your bath salt. I’m standing here right now, surrounded by a room of white, a cool breeze blowing through the curtains, and all I want is you to be behind me. Promise me, if we make it as a couple, we will come here one day together.”
I got nothing.
“Rhys?”
“I’m here. Jesus, what your voice does to me. I can’t even explain the fucking spell you just put me under. I promise.”
“Go to sleep. Same time tomorrow?”
“Yes, goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
She was killing me. I couldn’t even stop myself from staring at that damn picture. She had covered her bruised eye, her fingers pulling her hat down over half her face, and all that was left was the fullness of her lips, the hollow of her chest, and the round fullness of her perfect tits I couldn’t touch. As if that wasn’t enough, it was followed by her beautiful belly and thick hips. Those legs hurt to look at; they physically hurt. I would never tire of her smart mouth and sexy ass.
She was an answer to a prayer I had never asked.
I heard Bryce call out to me and walked over to his room then waited outside the door.
“Da da da da da.”
He wasn’t crying, he was just talking to himself. I looked at the clock. Midnight, shit.
Go back to sleep, little man.
My phone vibrated in my hand. I looked at the ID.
The Devil.
I stood stunned as I stared at the phone in my hand. I hadn’t heard from her in almost a year.
“I told you to never to call me again,” I snapped as I answered.
“You miss me and you know it.” Her voice used to get me hard in seconds, now it was like nails on a chalkboard.
“The hell I do. I told you I don’t want or need anything from you.” Bryce was getting louder, so I walked down the hall to the bathroom so she couldn’t hear. This wouldn’t take long.
“I think about you all the time. There is no way you have forgotten me.” She sounded so smug, so damn confident. It disgusted me.
“I can’t really say the same. What the fuck do you want?”
“So, who is she?”
“What do you want?” I gritted out, irritated.
“You, your cock filling me, right now,” she said in a seductive tone I was all too familiar with.
“Ship has sailed. Sailed fifteen months ago. I’ve gotten all I’ve ever wanted from you,” I said, matter of fact, my boredom clear over the line.
“I think we both know that’s not true, Rhys.”
I never used the word hate, and I never thought I would feel it toward someone I used to care about, but I was sure in this case, I hated her. I stayed quiet, having no desire to entertain her at all. I should have never answered the phone.
“And how is he?”
“Seriously, you will never know good or bad. Are we done here?” I couldn’t even handle her with care anymore, the way I used to. I had no intentions of ever treating her like she was important ever again.
“Rhys, please at least come soothe me.”
I laughed at her. She had actually assumed I would go aid her in her sexual depravity. “Why don’t you ask the idiot who flogged you? Seriously, is there a mental illness in your family? Not a chance. Don’t call me again.”
“What’s her name? This has to be because of a woman. You were always a bit soft on your subs. Too soft to be a good Dom,” she hissed.
“Fuck you
. You can’t, nor will you ever know her name, and she will never know yours. Neither will your son.”
I hung up. Things must be going horribly for her to have graced me with that phone call. I didn’t know why I was so surprised she had the audacity to call me and beg for it. When it came to her, nothing surprised me.
“DA DA DA DA DA!”
“Okay, son,” I said, walking into his room. He smiled so wide, I couldn’t help but return it. He was trying to hoist himself from his crib as I approached him. Soon he would figure it out.
“Young man, go back to sleep,” I said, feigning a command. He giggled and reached for me, opening his hands. Even my son knew I was a sucker for him and didn’t take me seriously. Some Dom I was. I couldn’t even get a baby to obey me.
“Come on, big boy.”
He pointed to his diaper and I nodded as I picked him up. I shook my head as I grabbed him.
“You are the only baby I have ever heard of that summons his father to clean the crap off him. You are either really smart, which I’m thinking you are, or very OCD, which could be a problem.”
He studied me as I ripped open his diaper to change him. “You know, I’m thankful every day that you look like me, kid.” He smiled again and pulled at my nose as I leaned in. “You’re a handsome devil. You sure have worked your magic on my girlfriend.”
I sat with him in his rocking chair with the light dimmed and pulled out my phone. “Want to see Violet?”
“Tet,” he said, attempting to say her name.
“Yep.”
“Tet.”
I pulled up the picture. It wasn’t exactly age appropriate, but I was sure my son could appreciate beauty when he saw it. “Violet.”
“Tet.”
“Good enough.” He looked up at me then back at the phone, picked it out of my hand and threw it to the floor.
“I may want her, kid, but I’ll always be your daddy. Now, do me a favor and pass out.” I covered his eyes with my hands and he fought viciously to remove them. I chuckled and brought him to my bed with me and we both fell asleep looking at the world’s most beautiful screensaver.
HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD, A MASSAGE!
“People should be ordered to get one of these once a month,” I grunted to my current therapist, Alana. I continued, “Crime would be lower, the world would unite as one. I’m telling you, this could solve any crises.” Alana chuckled as she leaned in, working my lower back. “Oh, God, oh, that’s … fuck that’s great. Whoops, sorry about my mouth.”
The Last Dance: Sexual Awakenings #3 Page 2