by Marie Meyer
“Hell no. I trust you. You always know what’s hot. I bet over half of the university’s student body was at the show. We probably more than doubled our followers and gained a shitload of new fans. Or did, at least…until Adam.”
I did not deserve his trust. If he knew my true motives behind that scam, he’d be planting his fist in my jaw. “That was the idea.” I shrugged.
Erin stretched her arm around my waist and squeezed. “That’s Griffin, always knows what’s up.”
“Brilliant, man. Fucking brilliant.” He clapped me on the shoulder and laughed. “But I’m only voting for the pictures of chicks with really big tits.”
I laughed. “I’ll put you in charge of choosing the winner, then.”
“I think that’s a great idea.” Erin smiled. “I don’t think I want my boyfriend looking at pictures of a bunch of drunk college girls. That has Girls Gone Wild written all over it.”
“Fuck yeah, it does.” Thor chuckled and opened the van door, climbing inside. “See you, man.” He pulled the door shut and started the engine.
“Bye.” I tapped the door and gave him a wave as he drove away. I looked at Erin and frowned; this was not how I’d pictured this night ending. “I’m sorry, peach.”
Still holding hands, we walked down the side of the street to her car. “It’s fine.”
When we got to her car she unlocked it, but before she had a chance to open the door, I pulled her toward me and kissed her. She melted into my arms.
With the palm of my hand, I brushed her long blond hair away from her cheek, feeling her smooth skin against my callused fingers. “I hate that I have to spend my evening with Thor and not you,” I said against her mouth. I had entertained high hopes for tonight. Hopes for Erin and me finally getting between the sheets. After what had happened the other night, I needed to make things up to her. And from the vibes she had been sending earlier, I got the idea she was thinking along the same lines.
“That would have been nice,” she moaned, biting gently at my lip.
I pressed my body closer to hers. “Screw it. Thor’s on his own tonight.” I kissed her harder, biting her lip less gently than she had mine. My fingers worked their way into her hair as I moved my mouth to her cheek…down her jaw. She smelled fruity and so damn sweet. In my mind, the epitome of a Southern belle. Tilting her head invitingly, she worked her hands beneath the hem of my shirt. With ample pressure, her strong fingers raked over my back…up and down.
I brought my lips back to hers and thrust my tongue into her mouth, matching the rhythmic pulse of her fingers on my skin.
“Griffin,” she whispered after a beat.
“Hmm?” I smiled, but refusing to take my mouth off hers.
She pulled away and looked up at me with her dark eyes, and for a split second I saw Jillian in my arms, again. I blinked hard and I shook my head, trying to clear the image.
“Everything all right, Griffin?” Erin asked, taking her hands from beneath my shirt and running them over my arms.
I am losing it. I took a step backward. How the hell could I be so caught up in Erin one moment and think of Jillian in the next? Sighing, I pushed my hand through my own hair. Get your shit together, Daniels. Erin’s a great woman, you’re lucky to have her.
“Yeah, fine. Sorry.” I shivered, the picture of Jillian still in my head. “Just stressed, I guess.” I played off the sudden change in my demeanor, but not very well.
I looked at Erin, the sexual tension from a second ago replaced with an awkward strain. This was becoming a problem. Disappointment softened the look in her eyes. “Tonight was really messed up,” she said, standing up straight.
“Yeah,” I agreed. She turned and opened the car door.
Over her shoulder she smiled. “You sure you can’t come over tonight?” An attempt to rekindle what we’d just shared. A very tempting offer. She had no idea how much I wanted to take her to bed. But with Jillian suddenly on my mind…always on my mind, that wouldn’t be fair to Erin. My head was too crowded.
I shook my head. “I wish I could tonight.” I gripped the frame of the car door in my left hand as she climbed inside. “Wait for me, I’ll follow you back.”
“Griffin,” she sighed. “It’s not that late.” Her eyebrows pinched together as she gave me a stern look. “I know you and Thor have a lot to do tonight, especially if Adam can’t play. You go home. I’ll text when I get back to my apartment.”
“You sure?” I asked. Erin lived in the campus apartments, which were notorious for their lack of safety when it came to the female residents, especially at night.
“Of course.” She cocked her head. “I come and go all the time. I’ll be fine.”
“Text me the minute you’re home?” Since Jillian wasn’t here, Erin had to put up with my overprotective nature. Jillian had always needed that from me, but Erin was different. She always seemed to balk when I flexed my protective muscles. It was almost as if she found that personality trait annoying.
“I will. Go home and figure out what you guys are going to do. And get some sleep, you’re going to need it.”
“All right,” I reluctantly agreed. Was I making the right decision? Should I go home with Erin? Would that help me get over my feelings for Jillian? I was so tired of the uncertainty swirling around in my head.
“Good luck tonight.” She winked.
“Thanks.” I let out a long, frustrated breath. “Feel like making a trip into the city with me tomorrow?”
“Really? You want me to go?”
I could hear Jillian in my head telling me to make an effort with Erin. “Yep. An unbiased opinion, if you will.” Someone to fill in for Jillian. Even though no one could fill her void, I still liked to pretend. Erin was a nice substitute.
“Sure,” she drawled, a wide smile spreading across her face. “What time should I come over?”
“The meeting’s at seven thirty a.m., so we’ll have to leave around six, traffic and all.”
“Not a problem. I’ll be there at five forty-five,” she said, grinning from ear to ear. She started the car, and I pushed the door shut. Erin rolled down the window and folded her arms on the window frame, resting her head on top of her hands.
I crouched down and put my hands on each side of her face. She closed her eyes, and I kissed her lightly. “See you in the morning,” I whispered.
Erin’s lips parted in a smile. “Yes you will.”
Sliding my hands from her cheeks, I rocked back on the balls of my feet and stood up. “Text me when you get home.”
“I will,” she said as she rolled up the window.
I stepped back a few feet, into the road, and Erin blew me a kiss as she pulled away from the curb. I watched her taillights grow smaller as she drove down the street.
Walking back toward the front of the frat house, I thought about giving Jillian a call, but once was enough tonight. I didn’t want to interfere with the life she was making for herself at college. Before she left, we had seen each other every day. Now it was doing well for us to talk once a week. I was happy she’d found her niche. This separation was good for both of us. I couldn’t speak for Jillian, but the distance was exactly what I needed to sort out my feelings, get my head and heart in the right place. Jillian was my friend and there could never be anything more.
Chapter Nine
When I got home, Thor was on the phone. He mouthed Pauly’s name and shook his head. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what that meant, Adam was on the DL. God damn him.
“Yeah, uh-huh,” Thor said, nodding his head. “See you in the morning.” He pulled the phone from his ear and threw it at the couch. “Damn it!”
I fell into my recliner, letting the momentum of my fall rock me back and forth. “How bad?” I scrubbed my hand over my face, preparing for the worst. I wanted to know, but I didn’t want to know.
“A broken fucking wrist,” Thor growled. “He’s going to be out for at least six weeks, maybe longer.” Thor plopped down on
the coach, next to his phone.
We sat in the living room, neither of us knowing what the fuck we were going to do. I stared at the blank television as if the answer to our problem would flash across a ticker at the bottom of the screen.
I stared for so long, my contacts dried out. Blinking out of my stupor, I pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes and rubbed while I mentally ran through a list of guys I knew who played the drums. “What about Murphy?” I said, throwing out a name.
Thor stood up from the couch, pointed at me, and snapped his fingers. “This is good. We need to come up with a list of everyone we know that could fill in for us.” He clapped his hands together and took a few long strides in the direction of the kitchen.
“Where are you going?” I asked, getting up to follow him.
In the kitchen Thor was rooting around in a drawer. “Murph doesn’t know our material well enough to help us out tomorrow, but with some practice, he might work for some of our later gigs.” Thor turned around with a pocket-size notebook and a pencil, flipping the notebook open.
I pulled a chair away from the kitchen table and turned it backward, straddling it before I sat. Thor joined me at the table with his notebook. “Jim,” I offered.
Thor wrote the name down, but shook his head. “Not good enough. What about Sebastian?”
“Didn’t he go into the Marine Corps? I don’t think he lives here anymore.”
“Oh, yeah.” Thor wrote his name on the paper and drew a line through it. “Well, shit.” Tipping his chair onto two legs, Thor dropped the pencil onto the paper and blew out a breath. “What are we going to do?” He looked at me, lacing his fingers behind his head.
I stood up and went to the fridge. Pulling it open, I grabbed two beers and slammed the door shut with my foot. “Drink.”
He held his hand out for a bottle and I walked it over to him.
For five minutes we spitballed names back and forth, but couldn’t come up with one person who knew our material well enough. Tomorrow we’d be at Leo Dane’s mercy. Hopefully, Adam’s condition wouldn’t be a deal breaker.
I stretched my legs out and took a long drink. “I’m sure this isn’t the first time Dane has had to deal with an injured musician. The studio has to have some sort of protocol for a situation like this.”
“A ‘your bandmate is a moron’ clause?” Thor said. “Yeah, I’m sure they do.” He burped and placed his bottle back on the table with a thud.
“Let’s hope so.” I swallowed the dregs of my beer and pounded the table with my fist, looking at the microwave clock. “I’m going to bed. My head hurts.” Standing, I headed for the stairs.
“Night,” Thor said.
“See ya, dude.”
From halfway up the stairs, I heard Thor ask, “How’s Jill?” Even through all of the Adam shit, Thor still remembered that today was hell for her.
I stopped. She hadn’t sounded good on the phone, and I was worried. I backpedaled down a few steps and looked at him, shaking my head. “She sounded miserable.” I could still hear the sadness in her voice and it was killing me.
“She’s strong, Griffin. She’ll be all right,” he said, pressing his lips into a tight smile.
I nodded. I knew she was strong…a real fighter. But as long as I lived, I would never forget the day she had almost given up the fight, and I hoped the stress of college didn’t drive her back to that dark place. “You get some sleep,” I said, changing the subject. “Big day tomorrow.”
“Yeah.” He stood up and pushed his chair and mine under the table. “You know, I’ve dreamed of this day since I was fifteen, and now that it’s here, I’m sorry to say that I’m not that excited.” He shook his head. “Fucking Adam.”
“You can say that again.” Between worrying about Jillian and dealing with Adam’s shenanigans, the meeting with Leo Dane had gotten buried beneath a heap of shit.
* * *
My iPad came to life way too early the next morning. I hated mornings. Pulling the blaring tablet off my nightstand, I silenced it and rolled out of bed. I had purposely set my alarm to go off earlier than I needed. I wanted to leave some time to FaceTime Jillian. I needed to see her, my sanity depended on it. She’d always been a calming presence in my life.
I showered quickly and got dressed, excited by the prospect of some time with Jillibean. Hearing Thor’s heavy footfalls between his room and the bathroom, I decided to take the call someplace quieter. I grabbed my iPad off the bed and headed downstairs.
Flopping into my recliner, I tapped the FaceTime app and then her name. I anxiously listened to each high-pitched trill as I waited for her answer. After what seemed like forever—which was probably only thirty seconds—I glanced at the clock, not even knowing what time it was. Maybe she wasn’t answering because she’d partied too much last night and was sleeping it off. Maybe she’d met someone and hadn’t gone back to her dorm. These unsavory thoughts ramped up my pulse.
My mind went through a laundry list of reasons why she wasn’t picking up the call, each thought worse than the one that preceded it.
And then her face filled the screen.
“Jillibean,” I said. Seeing her face was exactly what I needed. My eyes roamed over all her features: Her golden hair was a wild blue mess, her brown eyes sparkled, and her lips were pressed into a gorgeous smile. God, I loved her smile. When the corners of her lips pulled up, the warmth spread through her cheeks and radiated out of her eyes. I’d kill for that smile.
“Hey, Griff,” she said groggily. I must have woken her.
Despite all her loveliness, I couldn’t help but notice the dark circles under her eyes. Her lids were red and swollen. Faint traces of old makeup ran down her cheeks. “You OK? You don’t look so good.”
Her picture bounced around the screen as she opened doors and traveled downstairs. “Well gee, thanks.” She ran her hand through her hair, showing off more of the blue. “You’re one to talk, Daniels. Trying to grow a beard?” The smile she flashed right then would get me through any shit that happened today.
Damn, I missed her.
Playing along, I rubbed my stubbly jaw and gave her a better view, turning my head from side to side. “What? I thought you liked my scruffy look.”
“You’re looking more like a rock star every day.” She smiled.
I kicked out the footrest on the recliner and rested my iPad on my chest, right above my new tattoo. Her screen wobbled again and a door opened and then closed behind her. “How was your party last night?”
She sighed and her smile disappeared. “After I talked to you, some sleazeball hit on me, and I convinced Sarah to leave. I wasn’t in the party mood.”
My legs folded the footrest back down, and I sat at attention. Hearing that some asshole had hit on her sent fire coursing through my veins. And the worst part was that I couldn’t protect her…she was on her own. I reined in my worry and asked, “Did the sleazeball hurt you?”
“No.” She shook her head. “But I wasn’t so good last night. Like I said before, starting classes this week sucked.”
This was not what I wanted to hear. Inwardly I kept praying she hadn’t hurt herself. I could tell she’d spent the night crying and that killed me. I wanted nothing more than to wrap her in my arms and hold her tight, so nothing could hurt her…not even herself. “Your eyes are swollen,” I said. “You spent the whole night crying, didn’t you?”
“I did,” she whispered.
I was dying. How the hell am I supposed to do this? She was the most important person in my life and she was the farthest away from me. I took a deep breath. I had to be calm. I wouldn’t let her see how much this separation was affecting me. I also needed some reassurance that she hadn’t resorted to cutting again. “Bean, you need to call Dr. Hoffman.”
She shifted and her image wiggled on the screen. “I’m fine, Griff. When Sarah and I got back to the dorm, I talked to her. I told her what happened to Mom and Dad.”
I scrubbed my hand over my face and
bit the inside of my lip. She’d opened up to someone. That was huge. My heart clenched in my chest. “How do you feel?” I was cautious. I didn’t want to push too much and have her melting in a puddle of tears if her roommate hadn’t been supportive. I didn’t know if I was strong enough to see her cry when she was so far away.
“Better,” she said reassuringly.
“Really? I don’t want you to start hurting yourself again.”
Jillian sat up straighter. “I’m not. The thought never even crossed my mind. It actually felt good to open up to Sarah. She’s amazing.”
Relief washed over me. I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and I smiled. She was making it on her own. “I’m so proud of you, Jillibean. That took a lot of fucking courage to let her in.”
“Thanks,” she said. Her eyes sparkled and the smile on her lips took my breath away.
Despite the bravery it had taken for her talk to Sarah, I felt she needed to check in with her therapist. “But I still think you should call Dr. Hoffman. I worry that you’re not meeting with her on a regular basis. College is stressful.”
She pressed her lips together and cocked her head to the side—classic smarty-pants Jillian. “If things get crazy, I promise to call her.”
I shrugged, feeling tension in my shoulders. “OK.” I wasn’t happy with this answer, but I trusted her judgment. It would have to do.
“What are you doing up this early? Didn’t you have a show last night?” she asked, changing the subject.
“The guys and I have a meeting with a producer this morning. But I’m not sure how that’s going to work. Fucking Adam broke his wrist at the show last night. We didn’t even play the full set.”
“Whoa, back up a minute. A producer?” she asked, shifting her iPad again.
“Yeah, the day I got back from taking you to school, I got a call from a guy who heard Mine Shaft play about a month ago. He was interested in our sound and wants to meet with us.”
Her image on the screen shifted violently and then focused back in. “Are you kidding?” she squealed. “Griffin, that’s awesome. Why didn’t you tell me?”