by Sarah Bailey
My heart fractured at her words. I didn’t see her that way. None of us did. We merely did what we had to so we could protect her. That was it. It wasn’t about the money to my parents, it was about keeping her out of harm’s way.
“Meredith—”
“No, I’m not fucking done. This is bullshit, Cole. Do you know that? You told me I was safe with you but clearly, I wasn’t. Am I even safe now? Are they going to come after me again now you’re back, huh?”
“No, of course, they aren’t. They don’t even know I’m here.”
I took another step, wanting to reach out to her. The fury in her expression held me back.
“Oh, because that makes it so much better. Fuck! You just come here and drop this fucking huge bombshell on me like it’s no big deal. Did you really not stop to think about how this would make me feel?”
I clenched my fist by my side.
“No, I didn’t, Meredith. And you want to know why? I love you and my only fucking thought at the time was keeping you safe and allowing you to go on with your life. That’s it. That’s all that mattered to me. I would have done anything to make it so. Anything. I didn’t want to tear you away from your life and force you into going on the run with me. Trust me, it was no fucking walk in the park.”
She closed the distance between us, her green eyes full of fire and pointed a finger at my chest.
“You didn’t give me a fucking choice. You didn’t ask me. You just left. If you had told me, we wouldn’t be in this situation.” She let out a little noise of frustration. “Did your parents tell you I went and begged them to tell me where you were? I fucking begged, Cole. I told them I didn’t care about my life or my dreams because you were it for me. You. My dreams and hopes were with you. Everything I’ve done has felt fucking meaningless because I didn’t do it with you. I would have followed you to the ends of the earth. That’s how much I fucking well love you.”
The blows kept coming. Every word tormented me. I had no idea she’d gone to them. No fucking clue. But I wasn’t upset with them for not saying anything. I don’t think it would have done me any good if they had. It would have just hurt more. They knew how much this situation tortured me.
Meredith’s hand curled into a fist, then she hit my chest with it. It didn’t hurt, but I could feel her frustration in it. Feel how much I’d hurt her by leaving.
“God damn it, Cole. I love you. Don’t you understand what that means? You don’t just abandon the person you love because it gets fucking hard. You don’t leave them. I would have been there for you. I would have done anything to be by your side. You say you did all this because you love me, but you didn’t give me a chance to love you back. To show you what I’d have done for love. You took that away from me.”
She hit me again. I didn’t care. She could take her pain out on me if it made her feel better. Hell, all of this shit was on me.
“I. Love. You.”
Each word was punctuated with her hand slamming against my chest. There were no tears in her eyes, only utter agony and it decimated me. She didn’t stop me when I reached up and cupped her face.
“I’m sorry.”
“You left me alone,” she whispered, each word dripping with pain. “All alone in the dark without any hope. I couldn’t breathe without you. I drowned. You should have told me. You should have given me a choice like you did about everything else.”
I leant down, pressing my forehead to hers.
“I don’t deserve you, Meredith. All I’ve done is hurt you and I can’t do anything to make up for it. I can’t offer you anything other than my love and that’s not enough.”
She shook her head, staring into my eyes with a wild intensity in hers.
“You don’t get it. I don’t care about you deserving me or any of those other things.” Her hand flattened against my heart. “You are my soulmate and I love you. That’s all that matters. It is all that has ever mattered between us. I can’t escape from you. And the truth is, I don’t want to. The only thing in this world I want… the only thing I have ever really wanted is you. Just you.”
My heart was thumping so hard against my chest, I was sure she could feel it.
“You have me. You’ve always had me. I’ve belonged to you since the moment I laid eyes on you.”
“I don’t have you, Cole, that’s the problem. You keep disappearing on me. I can’t trust you to stay by my side. Especially not now when I know people are actively trying to kill you for something you say you didn’t do.”
I pressed myself closer to her, my hand around her face tightening.
“This isn’t how I wanted to do this with you.”
“Nothing in our lives is ever how we want things. They just are what they are.”
It was the wrong time and the wrong place. Everything about this was fucked up, but I needed to prove to her I wasn’t going anywhere this time. I would stay forever if she let me.
If she said… yes.
My other hand dug into my pocket. It was crazy of me to keep it in there, but I didn’t care about crazy any longer. Nothing about Meredith and I had ever been anything but messed up and insane.
“Are you sure you want to do this right now?”
“Do what, Cole? I wasn’t aware we were doing anything but arguing.”
I smiled despite the situation.
“No, Meredith, we’re not arguing any longer. I hear what you’re saying. You can’t trust me to stay. I’m just hoping this will go some way to proving I’m not going anywhere.”
She frowned.
“What will?”
I brushed my lips over hers, needing to feel her for a moment before I did this. Before I said those words. Because these words would change everything between us forever. Or at least… I hoped they would.
“You said I’m your soulmate… well, you’re mine too. The thing is I’ve loved you for twelve years. You stole my heart when I was only eleven years old even though I knew nothing about you. Time and distance hasn’t changed a single fucking thing. It will never change how I feel about you.”
I stroked her cheek with my thumb.
“Meredith Veronica Pope… will you marry me?”
I tugged out the ring box from my pocket and held it up between us. Meredith’s eyes fell on it, widening as her mouth dropped open. It wasn’t how I planned it. I was going to go all out in a big romantic gesture. Nothing in our lives had ever gone to plan. Our path to each other had been treacherous and deadly. Who the fuck cared what the circumstances of my proposal were any longer. What mattered was I’d said it. I’d asked her to be my wife.
Meredith took the box from me as she pulled back slightly. Her shaking fingers flipped open the lid. For a long moment, she said nothing.
“Cole… I swear to god this is the most insane thing you’ve done yet. What the hell kind of timing is this?”
Her eyes flicked up to mine.
“It’s us timing, little queen. We don’t work to anyone else’s schedule.”
“What am I going to do with you?”
“You can start by giving me an answer.”
Her eyes darted between the ring in the box and me several times.
“We barely know anything about each other now… it’s been five years. I’ve changed. You’ve changed.”
“I don’t give a shit about five years, Meredith. You’re still you and I’m still me. That will never change. I love you and I want you to be my wife. Now, would you please put me out of my fucking misery?”
Sweat had broken out on the back of my neck. I could feel the clamminess on my skin. Asking Meredith to be my wife was more terrifying than anything else I’d done. And I’d done a hell of a lot of shit just to stay alive for the past five years.
“Is this really how—”
“Meredith, answer the fucking question. Will you marry me?”
She blinked, her mouth still parted as if she was going to continue what she had to say. S
he sucked in a breath the next moment and closed it. Her eyes fell on the ring again.
“It’s beautiful,” she whispered.
“It reminded me of your eyes. That’s why I chose it.”
She picked it up out of the box and, to my utmost surprise, slid it onto her ring finger on her left hand. Her eyes met mine again and I could see the determination in them.
“Yes, Cole Carter… I’ll marry you.”
Chapter Fifty One
I think you could call me certifiable right now considering I’d just agreed to be Cole’s wife only a couple of days after he’d landed back in my life. It was like Jonah had said. I’d already made up my mind about him. I’d always known how I felt about Cole Carter.
When you love someone, you’d do anything for them. And nothing would make me happier than to make that commitment to him. Not least because he would be making a commitment to me as well.
“You will?” he whispered as if he couldn’t believe I’d said yes.
“Would I tell you yes if I didn’t mean it? Has anything I’ve said to you in the past ten minutes actually got in your head, Cole?”
“It has… I heard you… you love me and you don’t want me to leave again along with some other stuff about soulmates and how I didn’t let you choose whether or not to come with me, which I’m still sorry about by the way.”
“Well then, I think you have your answer.”
He took the ring box from me and chucked it on the coffee table. Then his mouth was on mine, kissing me without any restraint. Cole’s arms wrapped around me, holding me against him whilst he devoured my mouth. I surrendered to it. To him. All of him.
“You going to take me to bed and make love to me?” I murmured against his mouth when he pulled back slightly.
His hands banded around my thighs and he hoisted me up on his hips. I could do nothing but hold on to Cole as he carried me out of the living room, down the hallway into my bedroom. He kicked the door shut and pressed me against it.
“Make love? Fuck that, little queen. We don’t do love, we do raw fucking emotion.”
And with that, he was pulling my t-shirt off me, chucking it away whilst he almost ripped my bra cup down. His mouth was on my nipple, licking and sucking, making me gasp as my hands tightened on his shoulders.
“Cole, oh, oh god.”
He bit down, making me arch into him. I needed him inside me, his hands and mouth all over me. He ground me into the door, rubbing his cock against me which only made me want more. My eyes went to the ring I’d placed on my finger minutes ago. The ring signifying Cole’s intention to make me his wife. It was really the most beautiful and perfect ring imaginable. How the hell Cole even knew what my ring size was beyond me. I didn’t even know when he had time to get this.
“You’re wearing too many clothes,” he grunted as he set me on my feet.
Cole tugged my shorts down, along with my knickers and unhooked my bra, tossing that away too. He worked his jeans open and freed his cock before lifting me up again and shoving me back against the door.
“Cole, what—”
Him sliding inside me cut off my words. He took my hand and pinned it against the door whilst he held my thigh with the other, keeping me against the wood. It took a few sharp thrusts until he was all the way inside me. The stretch made me choke out a moan as he pulled out and pushed back in.
“Fuck,” he growled. “You always feel so fucking good. So tight.”
He set a punishing rhythm, the door rattling under the onslaught. If Jonah hadn’t heard us arguing in the living room, he would definitely hear this. I didn’t know whether or not I should be embarrassed. He’d already caught Cole and me post-coital. Not sure I could take his teasing regarding making my bedroom door shake.
“They’re going to hear us,” I hissed even whilst I let Cole fuck me exactly the way he wanted.
“Mmm, should I make you scream then so they’re in no doubt?”
“No!”
“Your protests are so cute, little queen.”
He kissed me so I couldn’t answer him and only proceeded to fuck me harder. I wrapped my legs tighter around his waist, unable to do anything but hold on for dear fucking life. What did I even say anyway? Cole wanted to have his wicked way with me no matter what I said. He wasn’t going to stop so I might as well get on board with the program.
“Cole,” I moaned against his mouth as his grip on me tightened. “Harder.”
He responded to my request with vigour, driving me absolutely crazy.
“I’m totally going to have you screaming,” he murmured against my skin as he buried his face in my neck.
“Please.”
“Oh, you want that now, do you?”
He laced our fingers against the door together. I didn’t want my brother hearing us fucking but honestly, at this point, I was too far gone to care about what Jonah would say in the morning. Cole and I were engaged. That craziness in itself would negate the awkwardness of our very loud sex.
“Fuck me, Cole. Fuck.”
“Now you’re just acting up for them on purpose.”
I snorted, unable to help myself.
“So what if I am?”
“We can do better than that.” He raised his head from my neck and smirked. “That’s it, little queen, take it, fucking take it.”
His voice was louder and I couldn’t help smiling back at him.
“Oh god, fuck me harder. Give it to me,” I called out, trying not to laugh.
Cole’s eyes twinkled which only made it harder for me to keep my amusement in check. And right on cue, I heard my brother’s bedroom door open followed by footsteps.
“I never thought I would have to say this to you, Mer, but can you maybe keep your… activities to a more reasonable noise level?” came Jonah’s voice through the door. “Some of us have work early tomorrow.”
“Sorry, J… feel free to make as much noise as you want with—”
“Don’t even go there. Just shut up.”
“Embarrassed?”
“You literally have no shame, Meredith. None.”
“As if you’d have me any other way.”
I could hear him huffing followed by his retreating footsteps and the door slamming shut behind him. Cole sniggered and I couldn’t hold back any longer. He pulled me away from the door as I burst out laughing.
“That was so worth it,” he said as he dropped me on the bed and tugged off his clothes.
“I’m the one who will have to deal with him complaining about it tomorrow.”
“You say that like I’m not staying right here with you tonight.”
I raised an eyebrow, watching him crawl over me and spread my legs wide.
“Are you?”
“If you don’t want me to…”
I reached up and tugged him closer, forcing him in between my legs.
“I want you every day for the rest of our lives.”
His smile was wicked as he slid back inside me, making me grip the covers below us. As he tugged my hands away and linked our fingers together, I couldn’t believe we’d ended up like this. A few days ago, I was at Rhys’ wedding crying over the loss of the love of my life, and now I was engaged to him.
Oh shit, what the hell is Rhys going to say to this?
I shoved my best friend out of my head. I’d have to deal with that when he and Aaron got back from Thailand. Maybe by then, Cole would have dealt with all the shit he was in. We still had a lot to talk about when it came to that. It’s not as if I was happy about what his parents had done, but it wasn’t like I could change it. Five years had gone by and it was like Cole said, they saved my life.
Cole stared down at me as he thrust inside me, his eyes soft and his expression so open.
“I love you.”
“Show me how much.”
He smiled, leaning down to kiss me. I let Cole take me under and drown me with each thrust. Each kiss. Each tou
ch. Where I ended, he began. We were meant to be together like this. The world had tried its best to tear us apart, but we wouldn’t let it do that again. We would fight. Together. I would fight for him.
“I love you,” I whispered in his ear as he buried his face in my shoulder. “I love you forever.”
We came together, each moaning the other’s name. This man was going to be my husband. Just as he’d promised me five years ago when he’d declared his love for me. Before everything had been ripped away from us. I guess that’s why I let bygones be bygones. Cole hadn’t done any of this to deliberately hurt me. He’d not left me willingly. He’d been protecting me. Saving my life when I didn’t even know I was in danger.
Cole flopped on his back next to me, breathing heavily with his arm planted over his eyes. I put my hand up in the air, staring at the ring on it. I ran my fingers along the stone, amazed at the clarity of it.
“When did you get this?”
Cole dropped his arm from his eyes and looked up at my hands.
“Technically I didn’t.”
I eyed him.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I told Dad what I wanted and he got it with Mum’s help.”
“Are your parents going to do everything for us?”
Cole shook his head, reaching up and dragging my hand closer to him. He stroked the ring, his lips curling upwards.
“No, but I didn’t have time to do it myself. Not when I’ve got to handle the shit with the mafia.” His eyes flicked to mine. “I’m doing that all by myself, little queen. They’ve just given me the tools.”
“And what exactly are you going to do?”
He didn’t speak for a long moment as if he was contemplating whether or not to tell me.
“Are you sure you want to know? It’s not exactly safe.”
I rolled onto my side and stared down at him.