That could have something to do with being fucked-up most of the time, too.
With a sigh, I handed my phone to my brother. I wouldn’t be able to have it in there. Besides privacy issues, it was too much temptation to contact dealers and shit, I guessed. “Yeah.”
My insides began to feel tight, and nausea danced in the periphery of my consciousness. Mouth dry as the Sahara, I tried in vain to wet my lips.
“Bro…, I’m proud of you. You can do this.”
Nodding was all I could accomplish, because my tongue was glued to the roof of my mouth.
“No one will know you’re here. I’ve taken care of everything.” Tracey gave me her signature no-nonsense look before sending an encouraging smile my way. I’d told Stella I was going to be tied up with recording and shit. That I would contact her when I could because we’d be reclused. The lies were bitter on my tongue, but I wasn’t ready for her to know all my sordid secrets.
“Come on, I’ll walk you in.” Levi exited the vehicle and retrieved my bag that contained only the specific items that were on the approved list. Before we entered the doors, he clasped my shoulder, then pulled me into a hug. “Logan, I love you. This is going to work.”
“It has to,” I choked out. The next four weeks were going to be awful, and I wasn’t looking forward to them.
“It’s only four weeks,” Levi said as we stopped at the front desk, where a smiling redhead greeted us and handed me a clipboard with paperwork to fill out.
Except I only lasted two weeks before I checked myself out.
The latest stint in rehab had given me the strength and resolution to stay away from everything except oxys and alcohol. In my defense, I had seriously cut back.
Being cooped up in that place had me nearly climbing the walls. So like every other time, I’d convinced myself I’d be okay and if I had to, I would wean myself off on my own.
So far, I’d done pretty good.
As Levi belted out our newest hit, I picked the notes that controlled the crowd’s heartbeat and kept the song driving forward. Fingers moving over the strings, I sank into the familiar peace performing gave me.
Aiden moved around the stage with boundless energy, working the crowd. I wondered if anyone noticed he gave me a wide berth as he touched on my side of the stage. Rumors were starting to spread about the tension within the band.
Tracey had done her best to squash them, but the media loved gossip, and if it included dissent and turmoil, they devoured it.
Taking a deep breath, I cleared my mind and drowned myself in the music.
The sea of screaming faces ran together as the deep notes bled from my guitar. My body and the instrument were one living, breathing creature as one song led to the next.
When we took a break to hydrate and the stage was morphed for the next set, I glanced to the side of the stage. Poppy, Autumn, and the kids were there enjoying the show, and I wondered what it would be like to have Stella there with them.
Addison had stayed back in Seattle this leg of the tour since it was pretty short, so at least there wasn’t that awkwardness. Except when Aiden swapped out guitars, he was sure to shoulder check me as he stepped back on stage.
“Watch yourself, bass-boy.”
“This fucker….” Irritation at his continued dickishness had me fighting to maintain my cool.
Catching Dominic’s eye, I noted the nearly imperceptible shake of his head. At least it wasn’t only me that saw he’d been a real prick over the last couple of months.
Ignoring Aiden and his shit, I turned my back, finished the water I’d started, and swallowed the half a pill I’d shoved in my pocket. Then I moved back to the stage.
Levi was talking to the crowd as he drank his second bottle of water. Not for the first time, I wished I had his ability to interact with the crowd. I knew it was a struggle for him because of his military service and the shit he’d been through, but he overcame his issues for what he loved.
It gave me hope that I’d one day have that kind of control over all my crap.
“Are you ready to hear some more badass shit from Straight Wicked, Tulsa?” Levi shouted out to the crowd, and they went wild. He looked at each of us. “Man, I don’t know… I think they’re tired of us, guys.”
The audience screamed louder.
“What’s that?” He cupped his ear. “Did you want us to play or go home?”
What sounded like a million voices screamed, “Play!”
Laughing, he nodded, and we amped up.
As the first notes carried out into the air, I found my heart pounding in anticipation. For the first time ever, I couldn’t wait for a performance to end.
Because as soon as we wrapped this up, I was jumping on a plane to head for Vegas.
“If Your Prayers Don’t Get To Heaven”—Brian Fallon
Nearly bouncing in my seat, I was anxiously watching out the small window as the plane pulled up to the terminal. Though I knew he wasn’t at any of the windows, I scanned them anyway.
Taking my phone off airplane mode, I shot off a quick text.
Me: I’m here!
The constant click of seat belts unbuckling only fueled my impatience.
It seemed to take for-fucking-ever for people to get their suitcases out of the overhead storage bins and make their way down the aisle, and I was only five rows back. In my head I was screaming, “Come on, people! Move! Let’s go! Let’s go!”
Thanks to recording, practice, and the hectic past week of their tour, I had hardly talked to Logan at all. Quick phone calls here and there. A few text messages over the past couple of weeks, and that was it.
What made it worse was that I couldn’t keep my damn nose off the gossip sites. I’d been so desperate for anything Logan that I’d stalked him online.
Evidently, when he’d been to Boston for Christmas he’d been recognized. Not only had he been recognized, but he’d been seen going into Tiffany when he bought my gifts. Of course, every site I saw had one of the grainy photos of him entering the store, or leaning over the counter, or exiting with a bag in hand.
They all speculated that he’d bought an engagement ring and wondered who the lucky woman was. Of course, I knew the truth. It was the bracelet and earrings I wore every day that had been in the bag.
It didn’t stop me from worrying that he maybe was seeing someone else and had actually bought a ring for her—and let me tell you, whoever this fictitious “her” was, I hated her in those moments. Crazy, I know.
It also didn’t stop me from wishing the gossip sites were right. That he’d actually bought that ring and that it was for me. Except there was no ring, and that was stupid. We’d only been “official” for a month and a half, regardless of how long I’d carried a torch for him.
My phone vibrated in my hand. Looking down, I couldn’t have held back my smile if I tried.
Logan: Thank god! Hurry! I’m by the baggage claim
I’d missed the hell out of him, and I needed to see him. To be able to hold him and touch him. Kissing him was a necessity too. And I couldn’t wait to share my good news with him!
Fluffing my curls and touching up the lip gloss I’d worn, I second guessed myself. He’d told me repeatedly that he loved my hair curly and that he thought I was beautiful without makeup. Except looking around at all the coifed and perfect women seated around me, I battled self-consciousness.
Finally, I was rapidly moving up the ramp and through the throngs of the airport. Following the signs, I hurried in the right direction. As I stepped through the TSA doors, my breath caught in my throat.
Standing there with a handful of red roses, requisite beanie and hoodie, artfully ratty jeans, and Chucks was the man who’d owned my heart for over six years. When he saw me, his eyes lit up to a vibrant green and a crooked grin curled his lips.
It was clichéd and crazy, but I couldn’t help it. I ran toward him, tote bouncing over my shoulder, and threw myself in his arms. Lifting me easily, he spun around as he kis
sed me like it was our last day on earth.
My hands held his cheeks, and I laughed as he continued to peck my lips with kisses. Barely aware of the people watching us with a mixture of smiles, admiration, jealousy, and rolling eyes, I only had eyes for him.
“God, I’ve missed you!”
“Not as much as I’ve missed you. Fuck, you’re beautiful.” Resting his forehead on mine, he had yet to put me down. “I can’t believe I thought I could be just friends with you. I must’ve been a fool.”
“Well, if you don’t put my fat ass down, you’re going to be a fool with a bad back.” Giggling, I kissed him one last time before I wiggled to be put down.
Leaning down to whisper in my ear, he nipped it teasingly first. “You’re going to pay for that later.”
At his suggestive tone, my face burned. I’d been thinking about this trip nonstop for weeks. Over the last few days I’d made a decision. I was ready for our relationship to be more. I was going to sleep with him while we were in Vegas.
I was nervous as hell, but excited at the same time.
“Let’s get your bag and get out of here. Are you hungry?” Grabbing my hand, he led me to the carousel that had started to rumble around.
“Starving. I overslept and didn’t have time for breakfast, then I was too nervous to eat any snacks on the plane.” Seeing my pink suitcase coming around the corner, I moved to grab it, but he effortlessly scooped it up before I could.
“Come on. Let’s go.” With one last kiss, he pulled my suitcase with one hand and grasped my hand with the other.
Rushing out into the parking garage, we stopped by a black luxury SUV and the rear hatch opened. Raising my brows, I smiled. “Fancy.”
“I wanted you to be riding in style.” His lopsided grin made him look so cute that I had to press my lips to his one more time. With a chuckle, he made sure I was situated comfortably before he closed the door and rounded the vehicle to the driver side.
Unable to contain my news any longer, I burst out, “I got the job!”
“What?” Pulling his eyes from the road long enough to look at me in wide-eyed wonder, he gave me a confused smile.
“I got the editing job!”
The excitement I’d been reveling in was mirrored in his eyes as his lips quirked. “Congratulations, baby. I knew you’d get it. They’d be crazy not to hire you. There are big things in store for you. I just know it.”
“Thank you!” Clapping my hands in happiness, I suppressed the desire to bounce up and down in the seat.
The rest of the trip was filled with his questions about the job and my bubbly answers. It was amazing to have someone to share my news with who appreciated it to the same level. To see someone else that proud and connected with my emotions was nearly overwhelming.
We arrived at the hotel, and the details of my job were forgotten. I couldn’t keep my jaw off the ground as the doorman opened the glass doors for us. The place was stunning, and I didn’t even want to guess how much it’d probably cost him.
“Mr. MacKenzie. So good to see you again.” The attractive older woman at the front desk greeted him like they were well acquainted. I notice her gold badge read Manager.
After he checked us in, he handed me a card key and tugged me toward the elevators. A young man had taken our suitcases as he signed the appropriate paperwork. “Do I have a separate room?” I questioned.
“What? Hell no. I just figured you’d want a key in case you came down to the spa or the shops without me. Why? Did you want your own room?” Disappointment flashed in his eyes at the question.
“No! I mean… if you wanted me to, I was okay with it, but I don’t need to…. Not that I’d want you to pay for it…. But I didn’t…. Oh my God, I’m really making a mess of this.” My cheeks burned all the way down my neck.
The elevator opened with a whoosh and we stepped on. As soon as the doors closed, he backed me against the wall. Caging me in with his arms, he nuzzled my cheek, then my neck.
“I love it when you get embarrassed and you blush. It makes me want to strip you naked to see how far that pink flush goes.” His body pressed to mine, and I whimpered in need.
Stepping away quickly as the elevator opened on our floor, he took a left out of the doors and I followed him to our room. Our suitcases were already waiting inside the entryway.
As I moved further into the room, I couldn’t control the gasp that exploded from me. “Holy shit, Logan! Look at this room and the view!”
I’d never stayed in a room so luxurious. Peeking into the bathroom, I noted an oversized sunken tub that looked interesting. I then rushed to the window where I gaped at the view of the Strip.
Spinning around, I squealed like a kid. “This is amazing!” I pounced on the bed, falling backward onto its giant king-sized splendor. “Holy crap! This is better than my bed at home!”
Through all my antics, he watched me with a small smile and a softness in his eyes.
When I finally calmed down, I rolled my head in his direction. “Thank you so much. I don’t even know what else to say. This is so… awesome.”
Slowly, his steps brought him to the edge of the bed. The sun shining in the window edged his hair, giving him an angelic appearance. “While I really like the look of you on that bed, if I’m going to maintain the promise I made you, we really need to go get that food we talked about.”
Biting my lip, I debated whether I should tell him what I’d decided or if I should wait until tonight. Nervousness overrode my courage, and I reluctantly sat up.
With his hand held out to me, he waited. As I rested mine in his rough palm, his fingers curled around it and he drew me closer. Kneeling on the bed, I was nearly eye level with him.
“Logan….” Head spinning, heart tripping, I leaned in. The mossy color of his eyes held me captive until I was lost.
He cupped the curve of my neck as his lips met mine. No different than any other time we kissed, shockwaves rippled through me from head to toe. It was thrilling—like that moment when you drop over the crest of a roller coaster.
Seeking, searching, our tongues tangled and tasted. When I was on the verge of saying to hell with sightseeing, he ended it by pulling my lower lip into his mouth. By the time we completely separated, my eyes were heavy-lidded and I burned with need.
“Do you need to freshen up?”
“Huh?” Still dazed from his relentless assault on my mouth, heart, and mind, I had to blink to clear my thoughts.
His deep chuckle rumbled under my palms where they rested on his chest. “For both of our sake, we need to get the fuck out of here.” It wasn’t fair that his voice was deep, sexy, and unaffected by the magnitude of emotion he’d invoked.
With a contented yet resigned sigh, I clambered off the bed and into the regal bathroom. I wanted to look pretty, so I quickly darted out to my suitcase, grabbed a few things, and rushed back in.
It didn’t take me long to slip the cream sweater dress over my head. Belinda and Kinsley had helped me pick it out. As I smoothed it over the curve of my hips, I worried it was too formfitting for me. They and the salesgirl had assured me it was perfect, but I was as self-conscious as hell about my figure.
Deciding fuck it, I pulled on a pair of soft, brown knee-high boots that were elegant but super comfy to walk in. A quick spritz of perfume, and I was pretty much ready.
Ensuring my hair wasn’t a frizzy mess and I still looked somewhat presentable, I was stunned to realize I didn’t recognize the girl in the mirror.
Lips red and puffy, cheeks flushed, eyes shining, she gazed at me. That’s what love looks like.
Praying I was making the right choice, and that this wouldn’t crash and burn around my ears later, I refreshed my lip gloss and stepped out of the bathroom. “Okay. Let’s do this!”
The expression on his face when I stepped out told me the dress was the right choice. Eyes wide, mouth hanging open, he slowly took in my appearance. “Holy fuck, you look amazing.”
“Um
m, thank you.” The crazy thing was, staring at me like he was, he made me feel amazing. As if I really was the most beautiful woman in the world.
Hand in hand we left the opulence of our suite and tackled Sin City head-on.
The day was a whirlwind of dining, shopping and walking along Fremont Street. I was amazed at the performers and their varied talents. Everything from a man playing the drums using buckets, pans, and random junk to a magician who managed to pull my twenty-dollar bill from the center of a kiwifruit.
Sipping on my giant boot daiquiri (seriously, the cup was over a foot tall and shaped like a boot), I couldn’t believe all there was to see. It was never-ending entertainment, and I was fascinated.
We then made the rounds to several casinos. I actually won two hundred dollars on a Walking Dead slot machine. It was the most money I’d ever won from something in my life, and I was jumping around like a contestant on a silly game show while Logan laughed with me.
“Wanna try your luck at another one?” he asked with a tip of his lips.
“Nope! I’m perfectly happy with my little jackpot.” And I was. It was perfect. The whole day had been perfect.
By the time we wandered down a little from Fremont Street, we’d both had an undetermined amount of yummy slushy goodness from big plastic boots. It had been one of the best days of my life, and it was only our first day.
After the sun dropped and the neon lights flickered on around us I knew I was wide-eyed as a child. That was what I’d wanted to go there for. To be able to say I’d seen the glow of the Vegas lights at least once.
It was hard to believe there was a time when I didn’t think I’d see past the city lights out of my hospital room window.
On impulse we decided to watch a Cirque du Soleil show. It was mesmerizing and I was on the edge of my seat the entire time.
After the show ended, I decided there was time for another boot of deliciousness. With laughter in his eyes, he paid for it as I was already sipping on the excellent, strawberry slushiness.
No Treble Allowed: A Straight Wicked Novel Page 12