by Calista Fox
His fingers hooked in the sides of my thong and he peeled off the material. Then he reached around to my back as my spine bowed and he released the clasp on my bra. He flung it over his shoulder, the lingerie likely landing on the heap of clothes we’d built.
His eyelids closed as he kissed my jaw, my throat, my chest. Lower still to my aching breasts, kissing the inner swells. He palmed the heavy and ultra-sensitive mounds. I’d gone much too long without his hands on me, making my body respond quickly and vehemently. My nipples puckered tighter than ever before, and the ache intensified.
“Dane,” I said again. My fingers plowed through his thick hair. “Suck my nipples.” I needed it like nothing I’d ever known. Urgently. Frantically.
His tongue fluttered over one taut peak before his mouth closed around the bud. I let out a sharp cry of relief and pleasure. Then everything turned frenetic as I gripped his biceps and rubbed against him.
“I need you inside me. Right now.”
I felt his thick shaft along my dewy folds, sliding easily. His tip pressed to my opening and I raised my hips.
“I love how wet you get for me,” he said in a low groan.
“Now,” I repeated.
He thrust deep, and I cried out again. The sensation of him filling me, stretching me, was intense and spectacular.
“Oh, God. Dane.”
“Yeah.” He slipped a hand along my thigh and slung it over his hips. He drove deeper, in long, full strokes.
Throaty moans escaped my lips as I watched him fuck me, his movements strong and skilled, quick and exciting.
His tongue teased my nipple before he suckled again, with just the right amount of pressure to send wicked shock waves through me.
“Just like that,” I murmured. “God, Dane. I’m going to come.”
So fast. And hard.
His pelvis gyrated and mine met his insistent thrusts, equally greedy.
“Christ, I need you so much,” he said against my breast. His hand cupped my ass cheek and he lifted my hips, angling them as he pumped into me.
I clung to him, drowning in the heat coursing through me, the love and lust I had for him. My fingertips pressed against his rippled muscles. I kissed his neck, nipped softly.
He bucked with more force and all I could feel was the erotic thrill of him pushing me to the edge.
“Yes. Oh, God, yes.” I couldn’t hold on a second longer. I came on a flood of emotion and sizzling undercurrents as I cried his name.
“Ari!” He came with me, his hot seed flowing, his cock pulsing. I clutched at him and tremors continued to run through us both.
I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight. His breath was harsh against my throat as his face burrowed in my hair. Tears pooled in my eyes once more, but I fought the pain of the past couple of months and instead embraced the feeling of him inside me, alive and throbbing. Radiant and still hard.
This was real and beautiful.
Dane was mine. Despite the odds we’d faced from the beginning—still faced.
He was mine.
* * *
The sun streaming through the window woke me in the morning. Dane was wrapped around me, spooning me, holding me tight to his hard body.
He’d made love to me twice more during the night, and as I stirred against him, he murmured, “I want you again.” Proving his virility and stamina were fully intact.
Of course I couldn’t deny him.
After we’d showered, Amano came for me. The prospect of leaving Dane was unbelievably painful. I dragged my feet but knew he had important work to get back to.
“When will I see you?” I asked as I lingered in his strong embrace.
“I can’t say. Hopefully soon. Amano will call.”
I wasn’t a fan of this clandestine stuff, but I’d take what I could get. “Please be careful. Safe. Like, really, really safe.”
The corner of his mouth lifted in a sexy grin. “I will. But I ask the same of you.”
“I have Kyle, remember? He’s not inclined to let me get away with much.”
Dane sighed. “I don’t like leaving you with him. He gets too many ideas in his head—I can see it in his eyes and on his face.”
“I’ll admit he’s not too happy you’re alive. Nothing personal, but—”
“I’m sure he latched on to the opportunity presented with my supposed demise,” he commented dryly.
“Still just a friend,” I said to placate him. “Always just a friend.” My lips pressed to his. “I am very, very, deliriously, happily married.”
He grunted. “Not exactly what you’d expected. Or deserve.”
“As long as I have you, that’s all that matters,” I was quick to say. To reassure him.
Dane kissed me passionately. I melted against him, instantly ready for him to take me back to our bed and make love to me once more.
But Amano awaited me in the SUV. So Dane unraveled from me and eased me away, as though needing to break free of the temptation before he succumbed and never let me go.
I wouldn’t have minded.
“I’ll try to be back soon,” he said. His fingers swept over my cheek. “It’s so hard to stay away.” His head dipped and he kissed me once more.
This time, I was the one to employ a little restraint. I broke the kiss and said, “If I don’t leave now…” I never would.
He nodded.
I turned to go.
“Ari.”
I glanced over my shoulder. “I know,” I said with a soft smile. “You love me.”
“So much.” And all that love and desire glowed in his beautiful emerald eyes.
With a nod, I told him, “I trust you, Dane. I believe in what you’re doing. And I love you, too. So much.”
It was hell to leave him. More excruciating than I’d let on. But I joined Amano in the garage. He opened the passenger door for me and I slipped into the seat, latching the belt.
We drove a ways in silence. I wasn’t surprised. That was his nature.
Yet eventually he spoke. “I owe you a very personal apology that’s just between the two of us. What I did—”
“No,” I told him, twisting a bit so I could face him. “You don’t owe me an apology, Amano. You’ve been with Dane his entire life. You know his secrets and you know how to protect them—how to protect him. I’m grateful for that.”
His broad shoulders bunched. Those same shoulders that had borne the brunt of familial and professional obligation—and which had saved Dane’s life.
I reached over and rested a hand on his biceps, covered in his usual impeccable business suit. “You’ve done so much, Amano, for a really good cause. I would have been selfish and demanded he stay with me, rather than risk his life further.”
The bodyguard’s gaze slid to me. “Maybe not.” His eyes returned to the road.
I considered this. I hadn’t exactly pitched a fit when I’d walked away a few minutes ago. I knew what Dane had to do and I knew why he had to do it.
How it impacted me—or even our child—was part of the sacrifice he had to make in order to curb the corruption, keep another economic downfall from profiting the extremely wealthy and hurting everyone else.
In a sense, Dane had given up 10,000 Lux—his ultimate dream—for justice. How could I not be proud of that and supportive of him? Even if it broke my heart to not be with him.
I said, “You had a chance to walk away after his parents died. Why didn’t you?”
“I had a responsibility to the entire family.”
Exactly as I’d expected. The familial tie. “Lara included.”
He flashed a dour look.
“Yes,” I conceded. “Dane told me.”
Amano was quiet a few minutes. Then he said, “I stayed on as head of estate security because of Dane. I didn’t feel comfortable leaving a newborn who’d just inherited billions of dollars high and dry. Anything could have happened to him.”
“Did things almost happen to him? Things you thwarted?”
He didn’t jump on my question, clearly not liking the line of questioning. But then he told me, “There were plenty of threats, from the beginning. I felt it was my duty to protect Dane and his aunt.”
I already had immense respect for the man and eternal appreciation for how he’d taken my safety to heart, for Dane’s sake. But I also admired that he saw the big picture. What could happen, what needed to be done, how to achieve the most important goals.
“You’re really very amazing,” I said, emotion tingeing my voice.
Again, he didn’t speak for a spell. I didn’t push.
Finally, he said, “I wasn’t happy about what happened with you and Vale.”
“You couldn’t have prevented that, Amano. You needed to be with Dane, and I had Kyle. It’s not his fault, either,” I hastily added. “No one’s to blame. Vale found the perfect ploy, the perfect … lure. My love for Dane.”
I gave a half snort. Amano shot me a look.
“So maybe I’m to blame because I can’t resist him.”
“Ari, that F5 was the spitting image of Dane’s—and there are only thirty in the whole damn world. Those are not circumstances under which you chastise yourself.”
“Yet you still hold yourself accountable,” I challenged. “Even though you weren’t even on-property, because Dane needed you elsewhere.”
“I should have been on-property. I should have been wherever you were.”
“Amano, you have to pick your battles here. Dane’s the priority.”
“That is not how he sees it.”
“But you know better.”
Our gazes held for a second or two before he focused on the road. We headed down the red-dirt path to the rehab retreat. When he pulled up to the entrance, he cut the engine, left the vehicle, and came around my side to open the door.
He said, “I understand what Dane has to do. But neither he nor I are the least bit comfortable leaving you on your own—even with Kyle. Even here with all this security.”
So, he’d staked the place out. Mr. Conaway must have given away my location, because I suddenly realized that I hadn’t provided Amano directions.
He added, “It’s not easy determining who we can trust with your safety. But we’re working on it.”
I frowned, taken aback. “What does that mean?”
“Just stay put for now. Don’t venture out unless I specifically call you. Can you do that?”
It would be more difficult knowing Dane was out there somewhere and I wasn’t with him. But I said, “We stream Netflix here. My queue is about a hundred selections deep. I’m good.”
I didn’t mention the need to continue my holistic healing to keep the morning sickness at bay and the fact that my body had never felt stronger or more balanced, because of Gretchen’s excellent pre-natal yoga lessons. The retreat, in general, was a lifesaver.
He walked me to the gate, then waited until I’d entered the house to leave.
Kyle was finishing breakfast with his aunt when I came in. He grabbed his landscaping book and headed out back with nothing more than a slight nod in my direction.
I gave a heavy sigh and slid into the chair he’d vacated.
“Problem?” Dr. Stevens asked, her tone light, nonassuming.
“What’d he say?”
“Nothing,” she told me. Her eyes glowed with earnestness. “And you don’t have to tell me, either.”
“I just needed to take care of some things,” I said of my overnight absence. Added a dismissive wave of my hand for good measure.
“You don’t have to explain or justify, Ari. You can come and go as you please. But how are you feeling?”
“Better. Much better. Famished, actually.” It suddenly dawned on me. I hadn’t eaten at the house, mostly because I feared it coming up on me while I was with Dane. How would I have accounted for that without revealing my pregnant state?
“You’re in luck. Oatmeal and breakfast potatoes are part of the buffet. I know they settle a little easier in your stomach than most other foods.”
“Perfectly strange combination though they are.” I loaded up a plate and returned to the table where she sat.
“Another month and you’ll be able to discern the gender of the baby. If you so choose.”
I smiled. “I keep thinking about that. Do I want to know, or do I want to be surprised?”
“Depends on if you prefer to plan in advance—nursery colors, clothing, and the like.”
“Which is what’s so bizarre, because I’m one-hundred percent a planner. And yet…” I shrugged noncommittally. I’d been fairly certain I needed all the facts up front when it came to having a baby. I’d devoured every parenting book I could get my hands on and had endlessly quizzed the doctors and moms I came in contact with, using every resource at my disposal.
Still, there was something intriguing about the unknown.
If I were to dig a little deeper, I had a feeling I’d discover that was one of the many things that made me so addicted to Dane and the life we led. I never knew what tomorrow would bring—I never knew what the next ten minutes would bring. And that was exciting, challenging, empowering, motivating … Scary, too, but only in the sense that I had to remember I couldn’t control everything, not even my own reactions or emotions. He’d proven that to me long ago and it was a lesson that repeated itself.
I couldn’t say it all worked out smashingly for me now that I’d confirmed he was alive. Everything about us remained derailed. But our current predicament did leave me with that sense of optimism weddings always inspired. There was a chance things would fall into place for us. The potential existed and that was what excited me the most. What I held fast to.
Naturally, the possibility of it all falling horrifically apart again still lingered in a threatening, ominous way. I did my best to avoid that reality.
In fact, I instantly decided that I’d wait to find out whether we were having a boy or a girl. I wouldn’t prepare without Dane, and I’d be surprised about the sex of our child right along with him. Because even though he didn’t yet know I was pregnant, we were in this together.
For better or for worse …
chapter 14
Worse seemed to be the name of the game for us, for the time being. As February rolled into March, I waited anxiously for Amano to call. A week into the beginning of our spring season, Dane and I had a secret rendezvous at the house for a few brief hours. Two weeks later, we had even less time together.
I tried not to be greedy, tried to accept whatever precious moments I could steal with him.
In the meantime, I helped more around the retreat, working in the kitchen in addition to assisting with the landscaping so Kyle could concentrate on some maintenance issues that had cropped up. I’d also caught him on numerous occasions quizzing the security staff on what if scenarios he’d concocted. He was definitely into being prepared, though the security guys clearly had no idea what he wanted to be prepared for—I did, of course.
Macy, as she’d insisted I call her, had cut my invoicing substantially with all the work I’d been doing. I told her it wasn’t necessary, that I chose to be involved, needing to stay active and occupied. Though I still encountered dehydration symptoms periodically, which she vigilantly monitored because severe cases could be life threatening, I finally felt a bit more stable, much less round-the-clock nauseous.
We weren’t quite sure why I had trouble, since I drank plenty of fluids during the day, so I succumbed to Macy’s tests and combated the headaches with some of her natural remedies.
In late March, Amano texted me to meet at the house and I breathed a very loud sigh of relief. From my last discussion with Dane, he felt confident justice was about to prevail when it came to the last two corrupt members. I expected good news and an idea of when he thought this might all be over.
I quickly dressed in jeans and a lightweight pale-pink sweater. Kyle drove us to the house and punched in the gate code. We pulled up to the garage, while I attempted
to contain my excitement over seeing Dane—and the anticipation of a positive progress report.
I felt things were looking up. Could literally feel the winds of change in the air.
So much so, I squirmed anxiously in the seat next to Kyle. Who cut into my happy thoughts.
“Hey,” he said. “The garage door’s not up.”
I followed his gaze to the end stall, which Amano always opened for Kyle to drive his Rubicon into so it didn’t sit outside for anyone to notice.
“Maybe Amano didn’t come this time.” I hopped out and entered the garage. I hit the button for the appropriate door and Kyle eased in. At the same time, I surveyed the stalls. Motorcycle, McLaren, no Escalade. No Amano SUV.
Had he just dropped Dane off? Did he have other business to attend to and he’d pick me up later? Or did he need Kyle to collect me?
I frowned. I wasn’t sure if I should tell Kyle I’d need a return ride this time—and I was reticent to do it. He was always a bit on-edge when I got back to the retreat after being with Dane.
We started toward the house, but nothing about this situation sat right with me. My gut clenched.
I drew up short and turned to Kyle. “Amano texted. He usually calls.”
“So?”
Was I being paranoid?
“So … nothing, I guess.” But I didn’t continue toward the patio.
“What is it?” he asked, suddenly catching on to my consternation.
“I don’t know. Why isn’t Amano here? And don’t you think if all he planned to do was drop off Dane he’d still open the garage door, as he’s done every other time? I mean, it’s almost like a signal when he does that.”
“Which would make this a—”
“Trap?”
Kyle shook his head. “Not on Amano’s watch.”
“Yeah. One guy trying to do everything he can to keep a hell of a lot of people safe.” I just didn’t feel right about this. “Let’s backtrack. Play it cool.”
I didn’t have to suggest it twice.
“Oh-kay,” Kyle said. “If you’re going to pass over a hookup with the hubby, I’m going to freak out just a little bit.”
He followed me to the garage. But as he made his way toward the Jeep, I told him, “That’s not the vehicle we want.” I grabbed the keys to the McLaren and tossed them his way. “We might need this car.”