by Calista Fox
I pinned Kyle with an earnest look. “You can leave, you know? They won’t come after you if you disassociate yourself from me. Hell, I don’t even think they know about the retreat, because they never fucked with anything there. They needed me at the creek house to get to me.”
He appeared to give this some thought.
“You have a choice, Kyle. I love you as a friend,” I told him in a heartfelt tone. “And I’m eternally grateful for all you’ve done. But you’re not bound by sacred oath here. To tell you the truth, it’d probably be best if you—”
“No,” he said with conviction in his voice, his gaze locking with mine. “It wouldn’t be best if I just walked away. Because I want to protect you, too. If Dane can’t be here, if Amano has secret-society business to deal with … I can be here. For you. And for your baby.”
I saw this for what it was—Kyle’s defining moment. A decision that could be the one to give him a bit more purpose in life or … one that could be detrimental.
I understood the pros and cons, the reward versus the challenge—or, rather, the danger.
“Kyle, you need to be absolutely certain.”
“I’m here, aren’t I? I just spent the night in jail, didn’t I? I nearly sent us over the edge of a canyon that plunges forty-five hundred feet, right?”
“Put like that,” I said with a crooked brow, “you might want to seek your own mental health counseling. I think you’re nuts.”
He laughed, albeit gruffly. “Certifiable, without doubt. Then again … It’s not like I had anything better to do last night but hang out with newlyweds and their brand-new baby. Guess I’m cursed.”
I’d sent several items to Meg and Sean from their gift registry but hadn’t yet made it to see them. I’d stuck close to the retreat of late, in the event Amano called and there was a chance to see Dane.
“I need to visit them,” I confessed. “Unfortunately, Meg will likely figure out I’m pregnant because I’ll be all googly-eyed over the baby and asking a million questions about what to expect when you’re expecting.”
“Yeah, that could be a problem. Anyway, they’re sort of into the whole family unit thing at the moment, so you have time to make it up to them.”
“I suppose.” I stared at him a few seconds longer, a tormenting thought gnawing at me. Finally, I asked, “Do you really believe you’re cursed?”
“No.” He set aside the hand towel and said, “Since we’re stuck here in paradise, I’m going for a swim.”
“You don’t have trunks,” I mentioned over the sting of guilt I couldn’t shake.
“So?”
I frowned. “That guard tower is manned, and there are guys patrolling these ten acres.”
“Not my problem. They don’t have to look, now do they?” He sauntered off.
Above obsessing over Kyle’s angst and unwavering sense of duty, I prayed Eleanor Conaway would buy us swimwear. Given the latest disaster and my new criminal record, Dane had enough to contend with to put his blood pressure in the red zone without knowing Kyle was skinny-dipping in the pool fifty feet from me.
Yeah. That’d make for fun conversation.
chapter 16
Kyle and I wore new jeans and shirts and were in the middle of a Wii bowling tournament when Amano arrived. Sauntering in behind him was Dane, his gait evened out now that his leg had fully healed and he no longer needed the walking cane.
My heart swelled. Kyle scowled beside me.
Dane did not look pleased—and I was sure I knew why. Amano had told him everything, the details no doubt relayed by Mr. Conaway after he’d left us.
I wrapped my arms around Dane’s neck, despite his tense, broody appearance. “I’ve missed you.”
He was dressed all in black, and my fingers instantly itched to unbutton his shirt so I could touch him.
Holding me tight, he said, “This isn’t getting any better, Ari. Not any safer, not any saner.”
“Kyle and I are okay. And we are safer. This place is more secure than Fort Knox. Now that you’re here, it’s perfect.”
He kissed my temple. “You find the silver lining in everything, don’t you?”
“I love you.”
With a low groan, he said, “I love you, too. Which is why I’m so damn pissed off.”
“Wait’ll you see your car.” Kyle just couldn’t resist.
I unraveled from Dane and said, “We had a little trouble and had to take the McLaren off-road.” To Amano, I explained, “I can tell you where to find it, if the Forest Service hasn’t towed it away already.”
“Seriously, a sweet ride.” Kyle poked a bit harder. “But you’ll likely need a new undercarriage. Definitely a new paint job. Tires are pretty much shot to shit now, too.”
I could feel Dane’s temper flare. I placed a palm on his chest and said, “We’re really very sorry. It was necessary.”
“I don’t give a damn about the car, Ari. I’m pissed off that you were in danger again.” His gaze shifted to Kyle. “I’m sorry you were involved. But … thank you for taking care of her.”
“I’m getting good at this James Bond stuff,” Kyle said with a cocky grin. I suspected the split lip and bruised jaw made him feel tougher, more rugged. To Amano, he added, “Maybe you should teach me some bodyguard moves. Since I’m the one here with Ari.”
“That won’t be necessary,” the stoic Amano said. “I’m here now. And will be until this is over.”
Latching on to that segue, I asked Dane, “Any progress?”
“We’ll talk later.” He took my hand and led me out of the room. “Which suite is ours?”
I directed him down the long corridor. “I only get you for the night, don’t I?”
He didn’t say anything, just closed the door behind us. I turned to him. Wound my arms around him again.
“It’s hell not being with you,” he whispered in my ear. I heard his torment, his quiet fury. “I steal a few hours, then Kyle gets you the rest of the time. I turn my back and you’re in danger. I’m livid, Ari. So worried about you. And so ready to just say fuck it all and—”
“No.” I pulled away and stared up at him. “You can’t quit now. Not after everything we’ve all been through. Not when you’re so very close to finishing this, Dane.”
He stepped around me. Raked a hand through his hair. “This isn’t getting any easier. In fact, it’s much more convoluted. These last two members … They’re in deep, Ari. This goes beyond tax evasion and blowing up the Lux. They’ve manipulated the global network the society uses and they’ll be the catalyst for another massive recession—while they prosper. Creating all of that influence, wielding all of that power … To achieve that level of supremacy has required them to leave plenty of casualties in their wake.”
I sank onto the mattress. “Are you saying they … murder people to get their way?”
“Whatever it takes,” he said with a sharp edge to his low voice. “That’s how these people operate. You saw what they did to the Lux. Every one of my employees—my wife—could have been inside that building when it exploded. Did they care? No. Because to them, they’re above reproach. Untraceable, untouchable.”
“But you’re tracing them, touching them. Helping to send them to prison.”
He paced along the bench that ran the width of the bed. “At what cost?” he mumbled, agitated. “You could have been killed, Ari. Again.”
I wrung my hands a moment, understanding how this tore at him. But there was so much at stake. He couldn’t walk away from this now.
“Look,” I told him. “I won’t sit here and lie to you, say I haven’t been terrified—terrorized. But what you’re doing is too significant to turn your back on. Especially at this point. After all you’ve invested in bringing these guys down, after all we’ve suffered. You have to see this through. No matter what. These people must be stopped, Dane.”
He drew up short and stared at me. “It’s not worth the risk, not worth putting your life in jeopardy.”
&nb
sp; “Yes, it is.” I stood and crossed to him. My palms splayed over his hard pectoral ledge and I gazed up at him unwaveringly. “I’m one person, when countless others suffer because of what the society has been allowed to get away with. You could have died. Amano, too. Easing up on them now is not the answer.”
“And what about Kyle? His life is in danger, too, Ari. Now that they know about him.”
My hands dropped to my sides. “I asked him to reconsider. To disassociate himself from me. Go back to his safe life.”
With a grunt, Dane said, “Let me guess. He told you not a chance in hell.”
“Pretty much.”
“Fool,” Dane hissed out. Then he whirled around, stalked over to the sliding glass doors, and glared out at the waterfall. “I should have never hired him at the hotel. Goddamn it.”
“Maybe, but that was my fault, remember?”
“And how the hell would you ever look me in the eye again if anything happened to him? How would you ever forgive me?” he quietly demanded.
I really hadn’t considered all of this. It’d been such a roller-coaster ride for us all, so many ups and downs, that I tried to catch my breath before the next potentially devastating hurdle came our way, not really giving such deep thought to the consequences of our actions.
“I can tell him to leave,” I said. “I can tell him we’re not friends anymore, that I don’t need him or want him around. He won’t buy it, though. He’ll stick, Dane. He’s already proven that.”
“So I’m supposed to accept what might happen to him as his choice? The way I’m supposed to accept the same with you?”
“Yes.”
I didn’t like the implication of that one word for Kyle, myself, or our baby. But given the circumstances—the real and impossible-to-hide-from reality of the situation—and the fact that Dane, Amano, Kyle, and I had committed to that reality and knew what we were in for … I’d be a hypocrite to say the blame for anything going awry landed anywhere other than at the feet of those who chose this path. That meant all of us. Kyle and me included.
Unfortunately, the baby didn’t have a say in the matter. And no, I certainly never intended to be careless with my life, thereby putting our child’s life in danger. But this had started long before I became pregnant—long before I’d learned I was pregnant. It wasn’t something I could extricate myself from now that I did know.
This was about our family. Other people as well. There were a lot of lives at risk, so much at stake, if we didn’t continue on this path. More so than if we put a halt to this in an effort to save ourselves.
I joined Dane at the doors and wrapped my arms around his waist. “There’s no turning back, because this is what needs to be done. You said yourself that this is bigger than what happened at the Lux—one of the world’s premier luxury hotels. That’s a huge statement. Yet, Dane … Though you won’t be able to forgive yourself if anything happens to me, you won’t be able to forgive yourself, either, if you give up on this in an attempt to keep me out of harm’s way.”
His hands covered mine and he squeezed them.
I continued. “That day when you almost killed Vale … You had every right to be furious, and I know it wasn’t just about the secret society. It was about me. That he’d hurt me. You were completely enraged. Then you tried to convince me you weren’t the bad guy. I had to walk away from you because everything surrounding you was too dark, too dangerous, too sinister. But it’s never been your fault. That was why I came back. Because I realized you were right. You’re not the bad guy.”
He released my hands and turned to face me. Brushing strands of hair from my cheek, he said, “The worst part about this is that I want you too much—need you too much—to do what you did with Kyle. To tell you to leave.”
“Doesn’t matter. You could tell me. I won’t go. I lost you the first time after Vale and it was pure torture. When I thought you were dead…?” Tears pricked my eyes. “I honestly had to find something to live for—a reason to not want to be dead myself. Everything about our life together was—is—that reason, Dane.”
His emerald eyes clouded. His jaw set in a hard line. “I don’t know if I could do it, Ari. If the tables were turned. I don’t know if I could find a reason to—”
“You would,” I interjected. “But you won’t have to, because I’m going to be just fine. I’m going to stay here and not venture out without Amano or Kyle. I will do everything I have to in order to be safe. You have to trust in that. And trust Kyle the way you do Amano. He’s been strong and loyal. He’s committed to being by my side.”
“A little too much,” Dane said in a dour tone. Then added, “But you’re right. And I do trust him. Believe me, he’d need stitches if I thought he’d purposely put you in a hazardous situation.”
“He didn’t. It was a trap, Dane. And I was very, very lucky he was there with me to help me out of it.”
Dane pulled me close. “You must have been so scared.”
“Petrified.” I shuddered at the thought of those hairpin turns and the helicopter looming on the horizon. But I said, “We might not come up with the savviest or classiest ways out of a mess—the way you would—but we manage.”
“Drunk and disorderly conduct,” he said with a half snort. “My wife, the town rowdy. I’ll have to do something about burying your mug shot before it hits the Internet.”
“Kyle’s, too.”
Dane was quiet a moment, then conceded. “Kyle’s, too.”
I snuggled closer. “Are you done being upset? Pissed? Worried? All of the above?”
“Not a chance.”
“Hmm. That’s too bad.” I tugged the shirt hem from the waist of his dress pants and slid my hands under the material. His abs flexed beneath my touch. I grinned.
“You really don’t know how to keep yourself out of trouble, do you, Mrs. Bax?”
My stomach flipped. “I like all your references to me being your wife.”
“I like what you’re doing,” he murmured against my hair.
I worked the buttons on his shirt and spread the material open. Both palms glided over his hot skin and hard muscles.
Gazing up at him, I said, “You’re too damn tempting.” Even the scar on his chest and the one cutting across his chiseled abs, both just faint reminders of the disaster at 10,000 Lux, added to his edgy perfection.
I left kisses over his tanned and sculpted torso while he stripped off his shirt. Then his strong arms encircled my waist and he lifted me slightly off the floor and walked us to the bed. The backs of my legs hit the mattress and he eased me down.
He quickly peeled away my clothes, then stretched alongside me.
One of his hands skimmed over my shoulder, then down to my breast, cupping it and squeezing gently. I wondered if he noticed that I filled his palm more than in the past or if he’d comment about my slightly curvier figure and the low rise of my belly.
But then I recalled how I’d gained weight during all of the food sampling at the Lux before Thanksgiving, and suspected he didn’t see or feel a difference. After all, he hadn’t been with me when I’d lost weight in the hospital and when the severe morning sickness had left my stomach concave.
I relaxed, certain he had no idea I was pregnant. Not that I wasn’t dying to tell him—what woman, wife, mother-to-be, wouldn’t be? But following our discussion and his fear over how his work impacted me. I knew I had to keep my own secret.
Conversely, I was presented with the opportunity to be completely selfish. If I told Dane about the baby, he’d never leave my side.
But just as he’d never forgive himself if something were to happen to me, I’d never forgive myself for pulling him away from what needed to be done.
It was all kinds of fucked up, in the hopes justice would prevail. Given all I’d lost and succumbed to this far, I was in too deep to let it all slip away now, just to keep him close.
So I bit my tongue, even though every fiber of my being screamed to share the joy of childbearing wit
h my husband.
Sacrifices.
I’d never made so many before, but once again, I thought of the greater good. Not just me, Dane, the baby, and Kyle. Though the reason I was likely capable of this approach was because of the protection surrounding me. And the fact that I wanted to safeguard my family just as fiercely as everyone else did.
I tangled my fingers in Dane’s lush hair and said, “I’m sorry you had to drop everything to come back.”
“I’m sorry I have to be away so long.”
“I do miss your hands on my body.” I winked. Tried to keep things light so I didn’t spew my guts and tell him how painful it was to be without him. How much I wanted him learning everything about our child along with me. How I craved him each and every night that we were apart.
His lips grazed mine. Then he murmured, “You are so very beautiful. I lie awake and think of how soft and flawless your skin is. How perfect you are.”
I groaned. “Not so flawless or perfect.” I had my own scars.
“Hmm,” he groaned sexily. “You never see what I see.”
His finger and thumb toyed with my puckered nipple, tightening it more. His head dipped and he suckled softly before fluttering his tongue against the sensitive bud. My breasts grew heavy with desire. Need coursed through me, hot and bright.
He lavished the other nipple with the same delicious attention and I writhed beneath him, my back bowing to press myself against his mouth, my breasts aching for everything he offered. Every sinful touch.
“You taste good.” His warm breath blew against the taut peak, making it impossibly hard. “And feel so incredible.” His hand slid over my rib cage and belly, lower to the apex of my legs.
I parted my thighs just as his fingers whisked over my slick folds, a feathery sensation meant to tease and tantalize. My hips rose greedily as I offered myself to him.
“Dane,” I whispered.
His emerald irises glowed seductively. “I think about this, too,” he mused as he stroked me slowly. “How wet you get for me.”
The pads of two fingers moved in a leisurely, circular motion against my clit as he stared into my eyes. The intensity of his gaze heightened my arousal.