Eve and Her Sisters

by Rita Bradshaw

  Ada and Winnie were in the kitchen when Nell walked in, up to their eyes in preparing food for the evening and following day. They both looked up when she entered and Ada said quickly, ‘It’s right sorry we are about Mary, Nell. And at Christmas too.’

  Nell nodded. During the morning, in an effort to justify herself, she’d asked herself if Mary was really as bad as Caleb thought she was. Mary had always been one to make the most of feeling bad. Mind, the doctor had seemed to think it was serious. And to come back at Christmas of all times - but that was Mary all over, selfish through and through. She had been born thinking of herself and nothing had changed. So her thoughts had churned over and over and now she had a thumping headache on top of everything else. ‘Where’s Caleb?’

  ‘With Mary. She’s in the end guest room. He’s just took her a bite to eat.’

  So she was eating. Well, she couldn’t be that bad then, could she? She still wouldn’t put it past Mary to come back here and cause ructions and then skedaddle again. Slipping off her winter coat and felt hat, Nell smoothed her hair before making her way upstairs. She paused outside Mary’s room but there was no sound from within. She knocked twice on the door and it was Caleb who called, ‘Come in.’

  As soon as she stepped into the room she noticed the smell. It wasn’t strong but it was unpleasant, like meat gone bad. And then she saw her. For a minute she thought, that’s not her, that’s not our Mary.There’s been some sort of a mistake.

  ‘Hello, Nell.’ The figure in the bed smiled but the action stretched the once full lips tighter and increased the impression of a skeletonised head still more.

  Her face straight and tense, Nell walked over to the bed. Caleb stood up from the chair he had been sitting in, saying, ‘I’ll leave you two to chat for a while. Try and get her to eat something, Nell. I had no success.’

  Nell didn’t answer or acknowledge she had heard him. Her eyes on her sister, she murmured, ‘What have you done to yourself, lass?’ as she sank into the chair Caleb had vacated.

  Mary smiled faintly. ‘It’s too late for recriminations, Nell. Much too late.’

  Nell’s lips were quivering now, her eyes were blinking. ‘I wasn’t going to have a go at you.’

  ‘No, I know.’ Mary reached out a hand and Nell took it in her own. ‘I know that, Nell.’

  ‘You’re cold. Like a block of ice.’ Nell chaffed the thin fingers in her own warm ones. ‘Do you want me to go and fetch a hot-water bottle?’

  ‘There’s two in the bed already.’

  ‘Oh, lass, lass.’

  ‘Don’t cry, Nell. I think I’d rather you shout at me than cry. Now you didn’t ever think you’d hear me say that.’

  ‘I can’t help it, you’re my sister.’ But Eve was her sister too.Wiping her face with the back of her hand, Nell said,‘Has Caleb explained about Eve being away?’

  Mary nodded. ‘I’d have liked to have seen her before . . . you know. But I don’t suppose it matters really. Little does.’

  What should she do? She couldn’t pretend to herself that Mary wasn’t dying, it was as clear as the nose on your face. But no one knew Eve like she did. When Eve loved, she loved without restraint, it was the way her sister was made. In most people there was some sort of in-built self-protection, a tiny part of them that required something back from the beloved before they would be willing to put all on the altar. But Eve wasn’t like that, she hadn’t been like it with Mary and herself and she wasn’t like it with Caleb.

  Nell ran her hand over her wet face again. Much as she loved Toby, she knew she wasn’t like Eve. She didn’t want to be like her. She wasn’t as selfish as Mary had always been but she wasn’t like Eve either.

  Forcing herself to speak with regret, she said,‘She’ll be gone a while, Mary.And there’s no way of contacting her.’

  ‘But you’re here. And Caleb.’ Mary squeezed her hand. ‘You’ll come every day? Promise me you will, Nell.’

  ‘As much as I can.’

  ‘Caleb said Toby’s mam is happy to have the bairns and I need you, Nell. I-I get frightened when I’m by myself.’

  For the first time Nell caught a glimmer of the old Mary. It enabled her to take out her handkerchief and blow her nose, smooth her hair back from her damp face and say quietly but not unkindly, ‘It’s Christmas, lass, and I have a family to see to but I promise I’ll come as much as I can. All right?’

  There followed a long pause while they stared at each other. Then Mary said, with what could have been a catch of laughter in her tone, ‘You were the only one I couldn’t wind round my finger, Nell. Remember when you used to say that to me? “You can’t wind me round your little finger, Mary Baxter, so don’t try.”’

  Nell was remembering a lot of things but most of all how bonny Mary had been. Brokenly, she muttered, ‘Don’t, lass.’

  ‘It’s all right.’ Mary squeezed her hand again.‘Since I’ve had that medicine the doctor left, the pain’s much better. I can sleep now. You don’t know how wonderful sleep is until you can’t have it. Some people say death is just a long sleep, that there’s no heaven or hell but just what we have down here. I used to listen to Clarence talk, he was the man I ran away with when I first left here, and he seemed so sure we just go back to the earth and that’s that. Do you believe that, Nell?’

  Nell caught the thread of fear in her sister’s voice. Her eyes soft, she said, ‘Have you made your peace with God, lass? I mean have you said sorry for all the bad things you’ve done in life and meant it? For-for the last baby and William too?’

  Mary nodded. ‘For them most of all.’

  ‘Then He’ll hear you. This Clarence might have been a toff but half of them are so far up their own backsides they’re no earthly good to man or beast. They can go to their universities and spout off about this and that but what do they really know about living, Mary? Have any of them had to rely on their Maker when they’re crawling on their bellies under tons of rock and slate with matchsticks holding the roof up? Well, my Toby has and he knows there’s a God. Most of the men and women hereabouts don’t go on about it but they know all right. But them that have everything don’t have to rely on no one and that’s when they get these fancy ideas.You ought to have told this Clarence to stick his daft talk where the sun don’t shine.’

  Mary sighed. Closing her eyes, she said drowsily, ‘Aye, I should have. I should have done a lot of things I didn’t do and not done what I did do. Don’t go yet, lass, will you? I-I feel safe when you’re here.’

  Nell swallowed hard. Safe, she’d said. She was still little more than a bairn at heart, there was a part of Mary that had never really grown up. And yet in some ways it was as if she had always been as old as the hills. ‘You have a little sleep,’ she said softly. ‘I’m not going nowhere for a bit.’

  Chapter 21

  Howard Ingram stared at the man who up until a moment or two ago he would have sworn he knew through and through. Such was his surprise at what John Wynford had revealed, he had to clear his throat a number of times before he could say, ‘I had no idea you were thinking along those lines, John. I don’t know what to say. Is she aware of your feelings?’

  ‘I’m not sure. I don’t think so. I certainly haven’t spoken to her if that’s what you mean. I thought it only right to inform you of my intentions first.’

  ‘Yes, yes, I see. And of course I appreciate that.’

  ‘Let me be frank, Howard. I wanted to know if you would have any objection if I pursued this.’

  A little stiffly now, Howard said,‘I don’t follow you.’ ‘I think you do.’ John sighed deeply. ‘Look, man, no one knows better than me how much you cared for Esther. Damn it, I thought you were going to follow her for a while after she went. But it has been over a year now and things move on. It’s natural. Healthy. And no man is an island.’

  Howard was sitting very straight now.‘What exactly are you suggesting?’

  ‘Nothing at all. I merely need to ascertain if I have your blessing to approa
ch Eve and ask for her hand in marriage. That is all. I have no wish to offend, Howard. Far from it.’

  Howard looked hard at his friend. ‘And if you haven’t my blessing to proceed?’

  ‘Then I shall not press my cause.You’re my oldest friend, more than a friend, something of a father figure, if the truth be known. I haven’t forgotten the way you welcomed me into your home and oiled my way when I first came here. There were those who were wary of a young new doctor. Those first few years could have been very different, I’m aware of that, but for you and Esther taking me under your wing.’

  Howard had relaxed as his friend had spoken and now he reached for his glass of port.They had enjoyed a fine dinner at their club and had taken their port through to the members’ reading room where they were ensconced in two armchairs before a roaring fire. Although it was the first week of April, the weather was bitter and it had snowed earlier that day. Quietly, he said, ‘You are asking me if I care for Eve. Is that it?’

  ‘Do you?’ John asked, just as quietly.

  Howard did not reply immediately.After a moment or two, he murmured, ‘Can I ask you if she has given you any reason to think she would welcome your advances, John?’

  John took a sip of port then wiped his lips with the back of his thumb. ‘She’s always very pleasant, and on the occasions we speak we get on very well, but no, not really. As I intimated, I have not yet made my feelings plain.’

  ‘And what are those feelings? Do you love her?’

  John took another sip of his drink, settling back in his chair before he said, ‘I think she would make an excellent doctor’s wife. She has a way with people, have you noticed that? And she is discreet, personable and able to run a household efficiently. Those are fine qualities in any woman.’

  Howard nodded. ‘I agree, but that’s not what I asked.’

  John smiled. ‘I don’t think I’m built to indulge in romantic flights of fancy, Howard. I’m not made that way. I like and respect her and that would be enough for me. I would care for her and protect her to the best of my ability and provide a comfortable home, and in return I’d expect her consideration and loyalty.’

  Howard’s face had taken on a slightly blank expression but behind it his mind was working rapidly. He had been wondering what to do, hadn’t he? Asking for a sign. And maybe this was it because, dear friend though John was, he’d want to punch him on the nose if he so much as laid a hand on Eve. But would Eve look on either of them favourably, that was the thing? He knew full well there would be those who would say he, and John to some extent, were looking beneath their station, but he wanted little to do with such people. And he knew Eve would not be influenced either by his wealth or John’s position in the community. Of course John was much nearer her age and whole in body. Would Eve be repulsed by the stump where his left arm had been? But no, he didn’t feel she was squeamish. And Esther had been very fond of her. He didn’t doubt she would be happy for them. The times she had tried to make him promise he would marry again after she went had been without number. He had always replied there would be no other woman who would suit him as she had, but now . . .

  He sighed and leant back against the chair. Since he had begun to recover from the influenza, something had changed in his relationship with Eve. Or perhaps it was simply that he himself had changed. He had started to feel as he had never expected to feel again and although he had fought it for all sorts of reasons, the feeling had grown. And it sure as hell wasn’t the somewhat lukewarm emotion John had described. He wanted Eve for his wife, not some glorified assistant. Of course John was a fine fellow and everyone was different . . .

  He became aware John was looking at him, waiting for him to speak. His voice low, he said, ‘I appreciate your frankness and I will be frank with you in return. It is true that over the last little while I have begun to see Eve in a different light. Having said that, I have no idea how she feels which is perhaps the nub of the issue. For both of us.’ He smiled wryly and John smiled back.‘Added to which, in my case, society would frown on my looking elsewhere so soon after Esther’s passing.’

  John drained his glass. ‘The war has changed a lot of the old prejudices, Howard.’

  ‘Not as many as I would like.’

  ‘And you would care? You’d care what people like the Strattons or the Clarks said behind closed doors?’

  ‘Not for myself, but for Eve, yes.’

  ‘I hate to point out the obvious, but just the fact that Eve is your housekeeper would be scandal enough and that will still be the case however long you leave it.’

  ‘Yes, I know. I do know that.’

  ‘But I meant what I said. The war has caused the wind of change to blow with some gusto through England’s green and pleasant land. Who would have thought that women would take over men’s jobs? Not only take them over but in some cases increase productivity a hundred per cent. And all those men and women who used to be in service, can you see them returning under the same conditions now? The divorce laws are changing, Queen Mary’s opened a women’s extension of the London School of Medicine and in December women got the vote—’

  ‘All right, all right.’ Howard held up his hand, half laughing. ‘Why are you trying to convince me? I’d have thought it was in your best interests to keep quiet.’

  John leant forward and now his voice was quietly emphatic. ‘Not at all. I prize our friendship above all things, certainly a woman, even Eve.’

  ‘I appreciate that sentiment, John, I do assure you, but I have to say where Eve is concerned I am not so magnanimous,’ said Howard, his voice dry.

  ‘In that case, my dear fellow, I think we both have our answer.’

  They continued to sit in a silence that was companionable but Howard knew that this conversation, which had come like a bolt out of the blue, was a milestone in his life. He was sure Esther would have given him her blessing so why was he hesitating for the sake of how it would look to others? He had never been a mealy-mouthed man, in fact there were many instances in his life where things would have gone more smoothly if he had been less forthcoming. And he wasn’t as young as he once was. All right, fifty wasn’t over the hill and he wasn’t ready for his bath chair yet, but he didn’t have time to waste.

  He would ask her. He finished his port, his heart racing. She would have already retired by the time he got home tonight but tomorrow morning he would ask her to be his wife and to hell with the consequences. Of course she might not accept him. This Travis fellow still had a hold on her affections, she had been clear about that, but she had also been adamant she knew there was no hope in that direction. And she must want children, you only had to see her with her nephews and niece to know she had a way with little ones. Children. A son . . . He had given up any dreams in that direction long ago when Esther had become ill but now there was a chance he might one day see a child of his flesh. But he was running away with himself here. And of course there was another thing to consider. If he openly declared himself and she refused him, would she find it awkward to stay on as his housekeeper? Possibly. More than possibly. And suddenly he knew he had to keep her in his life.

  ‘Penny for them?’

  John’s voice was quiet as it intruded on his thoughts and Howard did not look at his friend but into the flames of the fire as he said, ‘I was just thinking I might have a lot to lose if she can’t bring herself to see me as a future husband.’

  ‘Then you had better make sure she can.’

  When Howard arrived home he was surprised to see there was a light burning in the drawing room.When he visited his club and Eve knew he was going to be late, she normally left the hall lights on but the rest of the house in darkness. As he approached the drawing room, the door - which had been ajar - opened fully and Eve stood in front of him. He could see immediately she was in some distress, even before she said, ‘I’ve been waiting for you to come home, Howard. I need to talk to you, if that’s all right.’

  ‘Of course.’ He followed her into the r
oom and when she stood with her back to the banked-down fire, wringing her hands and biting her lip, concern made his voice sharp. ‘What is it? What’s happened?’ When he had left the house first thing that morning, she had been her usual contained self. This was a different woman.

  ‘I had a letter this morning.’

  ‘A letter? From whom?’

  ‘Toby. Nell’s husband.’

  Howard nodded impatiently. He knew who Toby was. ‘Is she ill? Has something happened?’ Pray God it wasn’t one of the children because Eve set great store by her niece and nephews. ‘It’s not the baby?’

  ‘No, Lucy’s fine.They’re all fine.Well, in a fashion.’

  ‘Sit down.’ He virtually pushed her down on the sofa and then sat beside her but without touching her. ‘Tell me.’

  ‘I . . . I had a letter.’ Tears filled her eyes and then she thrust her hand into the pocket of her skirt, saying, ‘I can’t . . . Read it, Howard. Please.’

  Howard took the letter without betraying the fear that had gripped him. If this missive was calling her home, if she was going to leave him . . . The pages were crumpled and he took a moment to straighten them on his knee. Then he began to read the large round letters which could have been written by a child.

  Dear Eve,

  I’m writing this without Nell’s knowledge or permission but I shall tell her the minute I’ve posted it and it’s on its way so she’ll know by the time you read it. I need to tell you something, something that’s put a wedge between Nell and me that won’t be done away with until it’s out in the open. Nell was going to leave it until she sees you next but as I said to her, that could be months and I’m not prepared to go on living as we are. Mary came back just before Christmas, lass, and she was bad. Dying. She’d fell for a bairn and had it taken away and it had gone wrong. The quack said she’d only got a couple of weeks but as it turned out it was more like a couple of days. She died the day after Boxing Day. Peaceful it was. Nell told her you were away for Christmas and couldn’t be reached and she did that for you, lass. She thought you coming back here and seeing how Mary was would break your heart and upset the apple-cart all over again. To be truthful we argued about it but you know Nell when she gets the bit atween her teeth. Mary had fallen low, lass, down there in London. She told Nell all about it and it weren’t pretty. No one knows the story except Caleb and he’ll say nowt. Mind, I reckon most folk have put two and two together. Anyway I just want to tell you Nell did what she did because she loves you and has your best interests at heart. Worrying about it has fair broke her up, she’s skin and bone and that’s not my Nell. I’m sorry to write like this and I tell you straight I didn’t see it like Nell did, but that’s by the by. What she did, she did for you. That’s all I can say. Right or wrong, she wanted the best for you. I hope you can find it in yourself to write and put her mind at rest but I’ve told her you might look on it different. I’m sorry, Eve. Heart sorry.