She nodded. She wanted to say something but the lump in her throat was preventing words.
‘I’m sorry.’ He shook his head slightly, his eyes not leaving hers. ‘About Mary, you being away, everything. But there was nothing you could have done.’
‘I know.’ The muscles of her throat contracted and she swallowed hard.‘And I want to thank you for what you did. It-it was kind of you in the circumstances.’
‘I’m glad she came home in the end.’
He had not let go of her hands and other than pull them away she did not know what to do. She knew her voice had trembled and she prayed he would put it down to her grief about Mary. Was he wondering why she hadn’t come to see Mary’s last resting place before? She wanted to tell him she hadn’t known her sister was dead but that would put Nell in a difficult position and so she remained silent.
Softly, he said, ‘You look very well.’
‘I am well. And you?’
‘Tolerable.’ She watched him take a deep breath. ‘But nothing is the same—’
‘Eve is here with her fiancé.’ Nell’s voice was louder than theirs had been. ‘Show Caleb your ring, lass. It’s beautiful, lovely. And he’s such a nice man too. A real gent, you know?’
Caleb relinquished his hold as Nell jostled for Eve’s hand, whipping her glove off and showing him the ring. ‘There, isn’t it bonny? She’s done right well for herself.’
‘Nell, please.’ Eve’s face was scarlet.
‘What? You have. I’m only saying, aren’t I?’
The muscles of Caleb’s face had tightened but his voice was pleasant when he said, ‘Congratulations, Eve. I assume your fiancé is someone you’ve met in Newcastle?’
She nodded. Aware she couldn’t leave it at that, she said, ‘Howard is the man I was housekeeper to, actually.’
‘Great big house he’s got and his own business and everything.’ Nell wouldn’t shut up. ‘Own cook and maid she’ll have, won’t you, lass?’ She dug Eve in the ribs. ‘One of the toffs, you’ll be.’
‘Don’t be silly, Nell.’ If the ground had opened and swallowed her, she’d have been thankful. She had never felt so embarrassed in her life.
‘I’m pleased for you.’ Caleb smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. ‘I wish you both well.’
‘Thank you.’ He was pleased for her.That said it all really. Praying she would reveal nothing of how she was feeling, she said quietly, ‘How is Jack? I miss him.’
‘He’s fine. My constant companion most days. We go on long walks together or perhaps I should say he takes me for a walk. Invariably he leads and I follow.’
She forced a smile. ‘Your legs are better then?’
‘Much better.’ Their eyes held for a moment. ‘Are you staying in Washington?’ he asked after a moment’s pause.
‘No.’ Suddenly she wanted to be gone. This was too painful, coming on top of seeing Mary’s grave. They were talking like polite strangers. They were strangers. She couldn’t bear it. ‘No, this is just a fleeting visit to see Nell and Toby.’
Caleb nodded. ‘Well, I mustn’t keep you. Not in this weather. No doubt you will want to get back in the warm. Goodbye.’
His glance included both women and simultaneously they said, ‘Goodbye.’
As Caleb walked away, Eve noticed he had a slight limp. It brought a physical pain to her chest and she wanted to run after him, to say she was sorry he was unhappy, she was even sorry he had lost Mary and was all alone. But she didn’t. Instead she walked in the opposite direction with Nell. As they passed the village blacksmith, the smithy was shoeing a horse. Forever after, the smell of the hot shoe on the hoof, the smoke rising from it followed by the hissing as he placed the shoe in water to cool would bring to mind the desolation she felt that day.
They were walking along Spout Lane, treading carefully because of the frozen snow, before Eve said quietly, ‘You shouldn’t have made me show him my ring like that, Nell. It wasn’t very tactful after Mary and all. He must be feeling dreadful now he knows she’s gone forever. He loved her so much.’
Nell said nothing. She was not concerned whether it was tactful or not. She had accomplished what she’d set out to do the minute she had spotted Caleb. Eve’s soft heart could be the ruin of her. Caleb would only have had to express a desire for her to return to the inn and her sister would have been at sixes and sevens. She wouldn’t put it past Eve to call off her engagement to Howard. Never mind that all Caleb wanted was a dogsbody to help him run his inn and that one day he was sure to take up with some lass or other. Eve wouldn’t see it like that. And Howard was so right for her. He would love her and take care of her and whatever happened in the future, Eve would be set up for life.
As they approached the house, Nell said, ‘Are you going to say we bumped into Caleb?’
Eve hesitated, then said, ‘I don’t see why not. Howard knows why I left here.’
‘He does?’ Nell looked at her in surprise.
‘I’ve no secrets from him and I don’t want to start now. He’s accepted how I feel but he also knows Caleb is part of my past. Howard is my future.’
‘And you’re sure about that? That Caleb’s in the past, I mean?’
Eve looked at her sister. They stared at each other for a few moments and then Eve put her hand on her sister’s arm.‘That’s why you did it, isn’t it? Stopped me from coming back and seeing Mary? And showing him the ring today. You were worried if I returned I wouldn’t go back to Howard. Oh, Nell.’
‘You ran that inn for him when he was away at war and looked after that old devil of a mother of his and he took it all for granted. Used you as a workhorse. And then Mary came swanning back and it was all moonlight and roses again.’
‘Nell, stop it. Look, let’s get a few things straight. I stayed and took care of the inn because that was what I wanted to do. No one twisted my arm.And he didn’t take advantage, you can’t say that. Where would we have been if he hadn’t taken us in in the first place? I won’t pretend I didn’t hope that one day, with Mary gone, he might start to see me differently, but it didn’t happen. It wasn’t his fault, anymore than me loving him was my fault. He’s not a bad man, Nell.’
Tears were sliding down Nell’s face. ‘You’re daft, our Eve. Anyone else would have been only too pleased to show him they’d done very nicely thank you and he could do the other thing with knobs on.’
In spite of how she was feeling, Eve had to laugh. She hugged Nell for a moment and then pushed her away, saying, ‘If I’m daft so are you, so there’s two of us. Come on, we’d better go and help the men with the bairns.They’re probably at their wits’ end by now.’
Nell dried her face and smiled at Eve.As she moved ahead to open the door, Eve glanced behind her down the lane. She had seen him and she had survived it, but there would be no need to repeat the experience. She wouldn’t be coming back to Washington in the future.
When Caleb entered the inn, he walked straight through the kitchen without speaking to Ada and Winnie. It was only when he reached his own room and had shut the door behind him that he breathed out a shuddering sigh. He sat down in the big armchair in front of the fire and leant forward, his hands on his knees as he stared into the flames. She had come back and she would have left without seeing him. He didn’t understand that any more than he understood why she had been so adamant about not giving her address to anyone.And she was engaged to be married, to some bloke who was rolling in it, by what Nell had said. A cook and a maid. Well, well, well. And he had thought he knew her.
He became aware he was grinding his teeth and stood up, beginning to pace the room. He had been stupid to waste a minute thinking about her, he saw that now. All along she must have had her sights set on catching a rich husband; why else would she have left Washington? She had been comfortable here, she had lacked nothing but it hadn’t been enough for her. She had aimed high and she had got what she wanted. He swore softly before flinging himself down in the armchair again.
He was
glad he had seen her today. It put an end to a period of his life that should have had a line drawn under it a long time ago. There were plenty of other fish in the sea, for crying out loud. He knew more than one lass who would be willing, and he wouldn’t be chary about making hay while the sun shone from now on. He didn’t need her. He didn’t need anyone. He had come through the war against all the odds and he was the owner of a prosperous inn. Everything was going his way.
When he left the inn a few minutes later, he didn’t admit to himself what he was about. It wasn’t until he had found a spot in Spout Lane where he had a clear view of Nell’s front door but could not be seen that he acknowledged he had to see the man who was now her fiancé, at least once.
Twilight was beginning to fall when the taxi came along the street. Caleb was frozen, the icy chill had penetrated his very bones but still he had not moved from his vigil. He narrowed his eyes as the front door opened and light spilled out into the shadows. They had obviously been watching for the taxi.
And then his eyes fastened on the man who had stepped out of the house. He was vaguely aware of Eve hugging Nell in the doorway but all his attention was concentrated on the well-dressed figure waiting on the path. He couldn’t distinguish his features clearly but he could see the man was taller than he was and held himself with almost a military bearing. And he was older than he had expected, middle-aged, but a youthful middle-age from what he could see. His hair, although greying, was thick and he didn’t look to be overweight.
He watched as Eve left her sister and joined the man, who immediately put his arm round her. They were saying something to Nell and Toby who were standing arm in arm in the doorway, but he could not hear what. He did hear them all laugh, though, and as Eve and her fiancé climbed into the taxi, Toby called, ‘Whenever it is, we’ll be there.You can count on that.’
And then the taxi drew away and he watched Nell and Toby wave for a few moments before they went back inside the house. Although he could now go home, Caleb continued to stand in the deepening twilight until it was pitch black. The lights from several windows glowed cosily in the frosty darkness and once or twice a dog barked somewhere close. He had never felt so alone in all his life.
When he began walking he was so stiff, his limp was more noticeable than usual,causing an uneven jerky gait that had him swearing under his breath more than once as he nearly went headlong. When he reached the inn yard, he stood for a moment, looking up into the dark sky studded with stars. From this day forth he had to get used to the idea that she was with someone else.Somewhere she would be laughing,eating,sleeping, talking, and all without a thought of him. He’d had her in his grasp and he had let her slip away, and there was no one to blame but himself.
Four months later Eve and Howard were married at the small parish church which was a stone’s throw from Penfield Place. It was a quiet wedding. John Wynford was Howard’s best man and Nell, Eve’s matron-of-honour. Eve looked lovely in a simple gown of ivory silk and she carried a posy of pink rosebuds. Including Nell’s children, there were twenty people at the wedding breakfast. Both bride and groom had wanted it that way.
They were honeymooning at a hotel in Hartlepool and arrived there in time for dinner. It was a lovely summer’s evening, mellow and warm after a scorching August day, and after they had eaten they went for a walk along the promenade before retiring. On returning to the hotel they went straight upstairs.
As Howard closed the door to their suite, Eve walked to the window and stood looking out. She was nervous. The day had been more tiring than she had expected and she found it hard to take in that she was now a married woman. She still felt just the same. But she wasn’t the same, she was a wife, and for the rest of their lives she would sleep in the same bed as her husband.
‘Don’t be frightened.’ Howard had come up behind her and now he drew her to the chaise longue standing at the end of the big four-poster bed. He sat down beside her. ‘Not of me.’
‘I’m not, not really.’ She tried to smile. ‘But this is all new to me.’
‘Would it surprise you to know I am nervous too?’
‘You?’ She stared at him in surprise.
‘Yes, me. I find myself in the privileged position of having a young and beautiful wife and I am neither young nor beautiful.’
She laughed as he had hoped she would. ‘You’re handsome, though. And very distinguished. Everyone thinks so.’
‘I don’t think so.’ He smiled, but then his face straightened as he said softly, ‘I have never regretted the loss of my arm so much as at this moment. I want to hold you properly, with two arms. Love you.’
She had sensed the need in him for reassurance that the loss of his arm would not be repugnant to her several times since their engagement, but never so strongly as at this moment. He had not voiced it directly, he never did, but the expression on his face spoke volumes.And it was in answer to that unspoken plea that she lifted her face and for the second time in their acquaintance kissed him first.
PART FIVE
1925 - Different Kinds of Love
Chapter 23
Eve had been married for six years and it would be true to say she was a different woman to the one who had stepped off the train at Newcastle Central on the day she left Washington. Many changes had occurred in her life and also in the country in general. The Great War had cast a pall of mourning over the last year of the previous decade.The litany of sombre place names, Ypres, Loos, the Somme, Verdun and Passchendaele, had been on everyone’s tongue. But then 1920 had dawned. A new era, and one in which women were coming to the fore in a way which horrified the old traditionalists. Women had proved they could take on men’s jobs and do them exceedingly well during the war, and now these same women were demanding the right to spread their wings. A revolution was afoot, albeit one aided by the giddy flapper with her tassels and beads.
For Eve the changes had been mixed. The transition from housekeeper to wife had been a big one, but for the first time in her life she was experiencing the happiness involved in coming first with someone. From their wedding night, when Howard had proved himself to be a selfless and adept lover, her affection for her husband had grown and grown. And love had begotten love.Within weeks of her marriage she had known she loved Howard. Maybe not as she loved Caleb, but this love was solid, warm and reliable, and one that she could wholely trust in.
Four months to the day after they were wed, she found she was expecting a child. Oliver Howard Ingram was born in June the following year. Three years later, Alexander William made his appearance. Both boys were strong and healthy, with curly hair and blue eyes. It was remarked on that if they’d been born nearer in age, they would have been mistaken for twins.
Their characters were quite different, though. Oliver was a determined, outgoing little boy with a sunny disposition and a ready laugh. Alexander was altogether more retiring and never so happy as when he was at his mother’s side. Howard unashamedly worshipped both his sons, but partly because Oliver was the older child Howard tended to have more to do with him than with Alexander. But they were a close and happy family unit, so happy that sometimes Eve felt guilty her life was running so smoothly when outside the four walls of her home unrest was spreading like wildfire through the country.The slump was making itself felt and the dole queues were lengthening. The bitterness of the working class was reflected in strikes at the docks, on the railways, in the shipyards and the coal mines. One in five of the working population was out of work and they were desperate.
Not long after Alexander was born, Eve started a soup kitchen in the parish church hall for families whose breadwinner was out of work.This had come about through Daisy. Eve had found the little maid in tears one day and had discovered her sister and the sister’s husband and three children had been forced into the workhouse a few days previously.The husband had been a stretcher-bearer in the war and had won the Military Medal for bravery, but on demobilisation he had had to go straight into the dole queue through no fau
lt of his own.
Howard had seen to it that the man was given a job at the engineering works, which had enabled the family to rent two rooms in a terraced house close to the works, but the whole incident had set Eve’s mind working. With Howard’s blessing she had spoken to several of the wives of his friends, and together they had banded together and opened the soup kitchen. In addition to making sure those in need had one good meal a day, they also distributed clothes and boots and blankets. When it became apparent that nits, ringworm, impetigo and fleas were rife, Eve arranged for a friendly school nurse to be loaned to them one day a week. Bad cases of infestation were dealt with at the cleansing station, a small room at the back of the vestry which Eve commandeered for the purpose. There the children’s heads were shaved.
Both Oliver and Alexander accompanied Eve now and again to the soup kitchen. She and Howard didn’t want their children to grow up in a privileged bubble as so many of Howard’s friends’ children did. They wanted their boys to be aware of poverty and the effect it could have on families from an early age.
On a sunny Saturday morning in late September, Eve glanced across the breakfast table at her sons. Oliver was eating his boiled egg and soldiers and Alexander was doing the same in his high chair next to his brother. ‘I’m going to be handing out some picture books and crayons to the children this morning, Oliver. Would you like to come and help me?’
Oliver looked up, his blue eyes bright. ‘Daddy said we could go and sail my boat on the river. Didn’t you, Daddy?’
Howard smiled ruefully, ‘Sorry,’ he said to Eve. ‘I didn’t know you would be working today.’
‘No, it’s my fault.’ Since Oliver had started at a small prep school at the beginning of the month, Eve had tried to make sure one of the other women, not all of whom had young families, took her place on a Saturday so she could spend the weekend with her family. ‘We’re short-handed today, Annabelle Sheldon and Verity Alridge are attending a garden party and Gladys Owen has gone abroad for two weeks.’ She wrinkled her nose as she spoke. Gladys was all right, but the other two women, both prominent members of Newcastle’s high society, never missed an opportunity to let her know she was not one of them. She was tolerated, for Howard’s sake, but she was not of their class and therefore socially inferior. The scandal of Howard marrying so far beneath himself might have been replaced by other, more recent gossip, but Annabelle and Verity made sure it was not forgotten.
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