"I think she resents me."
"Oh no. Magda is a woman of the world. She understood. There was never a question of marriage between us."
"But you were in love with each other?"
"It depends on what you mean by being in love. We liked each other. We were good for each other. We suited each other. We're the best of friends. I'd do a great deal for Magda."
"You see ... how I feel."
"You are hemmed in with conventions. It is not quite the same out here as it is at home. Maybe it is the climate. I am sure you will understand."
"And you and Magda now?"
"It's over."
"I don't think it is for her."
"I know her well ..."
"She seems mysterious, secretive."
"That is because you are looking at her in a certain way. You don't like me to have been fond of any other woman... even before I met you. I like that. It comforts me."
I was silent and he held me against him, kissing my face gently. I thought: He really loves me. And I wished I could turn to him and tell him that I wanted to be everything to him ... to stay with him forever. I almost did. I had only to say the word. It rested with me. I was happy that that was so. And I wanted to say that word... and yet, I was held back by forces I did not fully understand.
We lay there ... close, for a long time. His arms were about me comfortingly.
I shall never forget it—the gentle sound of the water outside the hut ... the silence ... the comfort ... the knowledge that he loved me
enough to hold back that passion which I sensed in him because he believed that I was a woman whose wish was to be respected.
Love between us had to be perfect. No furtive affair in an old canoe because the mist had thrown us together. I loved him more for understanding.
I had no idea of the time but it must have been the early hours of the morning when the mist lifted. I was cramped. He helped me out of the canoe.
"It's quite clear now," he said. "You can see Cariba."
"We're very close," I replied.
I lifted my face to his and he kissed me.
"Thank you," I said. "I shall never forget this night. It will be one of my most precious memories."
"We'll come back every year we're here. We'll even come back and see the old place after we've settled in England."
"I wonder," I said.
"No need to wonder. It's a promise."
"Who can say?"
"I say," he said.
"And you are always right?"
He had returned to his old self, but I thought I had seen a new side to his nature on this night. And I loved him all the more for it.
I sat in the boat. He was smiling at me. He produced the hairpins from his pocket.
"I like it flowing," he said, "but I think you look more decorous with it up."
I took the pins from him while he took the oars and rowed us back to Cariba.
FIRE IN CARIBA
Everyone thought we had stayed the night at Magda's plantation. The mist provided a good reason for our doing so. Felicity had been anxious at first but had been reassured and I was relieved that next morning there appeared to be no undue excitement about the matter. Perhaps there was a little more surreptitious giggling, but I refused to notice it.
Felicity seemed a little better. We breakfasted together. I told her about Magdas plantation and she showed a little interest which was rare with her. I fancied she was coming out of her listlessness which was a move in the right direction.
I liked to watch the ship come in from Sydney and I would sit on the terrace waiting for it. There was always a great deal of bustle and excitement even though it was a regular occurrence. The waterfront was noisier than ever and there was general congestion among all the bullock carts and the people who had come from their houses with produce to sell.
It was becoming a familiar scene to me. I felt that I was indeed part of the island. Memories of the previous night were still with me and I was there, in my imagination, lying in that canoe with Milton. I treasured the memory because I believed he had shown that he truly loved me. It would not have been impossible for him to have overcome my scruples but he had not done so.
Then I began to think of Raymond and more perhaps of Magnus Perrensen. He aroused such strange emotions in me. He seemed remote; even his speech was a little archaic. If he had told me he was really that Magnus Perrensen, born again, I think I should have been ready to believe him.
The ship had arrived. People were coming ashore. Idly I watched, my thoughts elsewhere.
Then suddenly I was startled. It could not be. I must be dreaming. I had surely imagined it. But it was! Raymond was stepping out of one
of the little launches which rowed people ashore from the ship. I stared. It must be someone who looked like him. People had doubles and one could be mistaken ... especially from a little distance.
I left the hotel and ran down to the waterfront expecting the figure to turn into someone else as I approached.
But the nearer I came the more certain I was that I had not been mistaken.
"Raymond!" I cried.
He put down the bag he was carrying and looked straight at me.
I ran to him and he caught me in his arms. "Annalice!"
"Raymond! Oh ... Raymond! It is really you."
"I've come to see you ... and Felicity," he said.
"Oh Raymond, what a surprise! Why didn't you let us know? We didn't expect... It's such a surprise."
"I had made up my mind to come when you left," he said. "It was just a matter of arranging a few things. It was a business trip you see. I had to see people in Sydney."
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"Letters take so long. I have written as a matter of fact."
"Where to?"
"Australia."
"We left there some time ago. So you don't know what's happened. Did you get my letters?"
"I received one which arrived just as I was setting out. Something was wrong. Felicity was unhappy. The marriage wasn't a success. You told me that. I heard in Sydney that you and Felicity had taken the ship to Cariba."
"Oh Raymond, there is so much to tell. You will stay at this hotel."
"Where is Felicity?"
"She is here. She has been ill... very ill."
"111?" he said with alarm.
"She's getting better, I think. Raymond, I must tell you all about it before you see her. She is not herself. She came near to a breakdown. It was all that she suffered in Australia. You haven't heard about her husband's death? I suppose you wouldn't in England. It was in the Sydney papers."
"My dear Annalice, what is all this about? It is so good to see you. I have missed you so much."
"And you were planning to come out all the time."
"I wasn't sure. It was a matter of business. I didn't want to say I should be following you and then find it didn't happen."
"Where is your luggage?"
"They're bringing it ashore."
"I'll go and book you a room in the hotel while you see to it. And I do want to talk to you before you see Felicity."
"Is it as bad as that?"
"It's very bad. But she is improving. I'll go at once and see about the room. Get them to bring your luggage to the hotel. I've got to talk to you."
"It sounds so mysterious."
"Raymond ... this is such a surprise. I'm so glad you're here."
He took my hand and kissed it. Then I left him and ran into the hotel. Rosa booked a room with an excited giggle. A friend of mine and Mrs. Granville had come. A gentleman. She found that of great interest and I could see was eager to impart the news to her colleagues.
When Raymond had his room and his baggage had been taken up I took him onto the terrace and called for a drink.
Then I told him everything, the marriage, the character of William Granville which had rapidly emerged, the terrible ordeal to which Felicity had been submitted, culminating in the shooting on the balc
ony.
"Poor child," he said. "How she must have suffered!"
"It is not surprising that she became a little ... unbalanced."
"She is such a gentle creature ... so carefully brought up and to go to such a brute."
"It was very unfortunate. She should never have agreed to marry him in the first place."
"I expect she wanted the excitement of travel."
"I don't think that was all," I said.
"When can I see her?"
"I think you had better come to her room."
He rose with alacrity and followed me upstairs.
I had asked Raymond to wait outside for a moment and I went into her room. She was sitting at her window idly looking out on the scene below.
"Felicity," I said. "Someone is here to see you."
She started up. I don't know what she expected. The ghost of William Granville? Mrs. Maken? Someone from the past. I said quickly: "It is Raymond Billington."
"Raymond! It can't be!"
He was in the room. She looked at him wonderingly and the joy in her face moved me deeply.
"Raymond," she cried and ran to him.
He took her into his arms.
She cried: "It isn't really you. I'm dreaming."
"I'm here all right," he said. "I've come here to look after you... you and Annalice."
"Oh Raymond!" She was crying now and I had not seen her cry for a very long time. She put up her hands and touched his face as though to assure herself that he was really there.
He held her tightly, rocking her to and fro. "It's all right now," he said. "I'm here. I'm here to take you home."
She put her hand against his chest and I saw the tears rolling down her cheeks.
I shut the door and left them together.
I went to my own room and thought: She loves him and he loves her too. Oh, what a mess we have made of everything. And what will happen now?
I was not surprised to see Milton. He had heard of Raymond's arrival and had lost no time in coming to the hotel.
I was sitting on the terrace with Raymond and Felicity when I saw him. He bounded up the steps and I rose to meet him.
I said: "Raymond Billington has come."
He looked rather grim.
"Come and meet him," I said. "Raymond... this is Milton Harrington. I've told you about him. He has helped us so much."
Raymond held out his hand. I watched Milton sizing him up. I could not tell from his expression what he thought of him.
"We were sitting here watching the harbour," I said.
"You look very much better, Felicity," said Milton.
"Oh, I am," she replied.
Milton sat down with us.
"This is rather a surprise, isn't it?" Milton turned to me. "Or did you know?"
"A great surprise," I told him.
"Letters take so long," said Raymond. "It makes communication difficult. I went to Sydney and made enquiries. Then I caught the first boat."
"Shall you stay long?"
"No. I can't do that. I shall be returning soon, I imagine. I believe the ship goes only once a week."
"You mean you are thinking of going next week?"
Raymond smiled at me. "I shall have to see about that. I've only just arrived. We haven't had time to discuss anything. It was a great shock to find that Felicity had been so ill."
Felicity lowered her eyes and flushed slightly.
"You must come up to the plantation and dine with me," said Milton.
"I hope you'll dine with us at the hotel tonight," I said to Milton.
"Thank you. I have to go back now. I'll come in at seven."
I walked with him to the stables where he had left his horse, leaving Raymond with Felicity.
Milton said: "You're not going back with him."
"I don't know. It's all so unexpected. I was astounded when I saw him getting off the boat."
"And you'd no idea that he was coming?"
"None at all."
"He should take Felicity back. She's much better since he's come. She seems like a different person."
"Yes," I agreed.
"Due to him, is it?"
"I think it must be."
"Let them go. You stay here."
"I don't know, Milton. I can't think what I should do."
"I'll think for you."
"No. I must think for myself."
He looked at me ruefully. "I might ask myself what hope I have," he said, "with a saint and a ghost for rivals."
"I don't think you would be overawed by either."
He turned to me suddenly and held me against him. I wished I could wave a wand and remove all the obstacles which stood in my way.
"I'll see you at dinner tonight," I said.
"I shall be there and perhaps I shall get to know this paragon of a man, this saint, and I am going to discover something about the ghostly one too. He's a queer character. Then I shall come to claim you for my own. You're going to stay here, you know. You're going to marry me."
I smiled at him and thought: That is what I want.
Then he mounted his horse and rode away.
There was tension in the air. Raymond's arrival had created that. Felicity had passed through the first stages of euphoria; she was very much aware of Raymond's feelings for me and there were moments when I felt she hated me for it. She was deeply in love with him. I could see that clearly. It was something she would never get over because he had been the hero of her childhood, whom she had dreamed of marrying. In fact she had implied that his family and hers
had thought that a match between them was certain. Then I had come along. No wonder she felt less than kindly towards me.
I wanted to tell Raymond that I could not marry him. I wanted him to take Felicity home and leave me here. But I had not had a chance to speak to him at any length for Felicity was with us most of the time.
I wanted to explain to him that I could not go home. Perhaps I was not going to find my brother. Perhaps I had subconsciously accepted the fact that he was lost forever and the theory that he had drowned was correct. I had discovered nothing about him really. But what I had learned was that I was unsure of myself. That I loved Milton Harrington in a different way from that in which I had loved Raymond was certain and if I went back with Raymond I should never have a moment of real happiness because my heart would be in Cariba. Yet, if I stayed here I could drift into a state of blissful oblivion of everything but the moment.
All this I wanted to explain, but I must wait for the right occasion.
The previous night Milton had dined with us at the hotel as we had arranged. It had been an uncomfortable meal. Milton was inclined to be aggressive, talking about the plantation and the island and keeping the conversation to himself. Raymond, of course, deferred, which was exactly what one would expect of Raymond.
I was glad when the meal was over and Milton left.
"A very interesting man," was Raymond's comment.
I think Milton would have been less complimentary of Raymond. But that was an indication of their different natures.
I had been unable to sleep. I had another search for the map. I went through everything I had and could not find it.
The idea occurred to me that someone had stolen it. Why? Who would want it? What use was it to anyone? It was very strange.
Looking for the map I came across Felicity's pills. She hadn't needed one for some time now and I had almost forgotten them. I had regarded that as an indication that she was getting better. But I had made sure that I had some in case she should need them. There were ten still left in the bottle. I hoped she would not need them again.
During the afternoon when Felicity was resting I did have a talk with Raymond. We sat in the courtyard under a big sunshade. The heat was intense. The cicadas were making a great noise and now and then I heard the call of the fig-bird.
He said: "So you have discovered almost nothing about your brother's disappearance."
I shook my head. "
Some people remembered him. He came and stayed here. Then he went away. That is really all 1 have found out."
"It was a long way to come for such a small reward and it has brought you no nearer to what you sought. ,,
I shook my head.
"You've changed. And so has Felicity for that matter. Do you think she will ever be the same again?"
"I think she could in certain circumstances."
"You mean if she went back home."
"I mean if she had someone to care for her... someone loving and tender... someone who would show her that marriage was not what she endured with that man."
"I am so glad you were with her. She said she did not know what she would have done without you."
"It was a terrible experience for us both."
"Yes. It has changed you, too. Are you longing to come home?"
I hesitated.
"No," he said. "You're not. The life here fascinates you in a way. I believe I can understand that."
"Raymond," I told him, "you are the most understanding man in the world."
"And have you been thinking about... us?"
"A great deal."
"And are you still unsure?"
I was silent again.
He said: "I think I understand. That man is in love with you. isn't he?"
"Well, yes ... He implies he is."
"And you?"
I said: "I don't know. You were so good to me. It was wonderful to know you when we were so desolate about Philip. And then ... you arranged everything for me ... so that I could do what I wanted to do. No one could have been kinder."
"I see."
"Do you, Raymond?"
He nodded. "Let's leave it, eh? Let's wait awhile. My arrival was so unexpected. I wish I could have let you know I was on the way."
"Life has been so strange. I have been worried about Felicity. Your coming has made all the difference to her."
"I've known her since she was a child."
"She told me. She is almost herself now. It's miraculous ... the difference in her."
"She will get better. I'll take charge of that."
"When do you want to go back?"
"Very soon."
I nodded. Then I told him about my meeting with Magnus Perrensen. "You remember ... the man who was mentioned in the journal. This is his great-grandson."
Road to Paradise Island Page 39