“You always were my favourite, Cooper,” he admitted and gave a familiar nod. I’d come to understand it was his way of showing a lifetime of bottled up emotions after the injustice of his childhood. He’d morphed into a socially reputable man as a DCI because he didn’t have that sort of respect growing up a factory worker’s son.
“You don’t have to do this,” I promised. “There’s a better way. A way in which Iona gets to live a life with you. Even in prison. She’d want that, rather than this. This will kill her.”
“Then make sure she knows how much I loved her. Because I did. I really did.” Alec Reid began the last countdown. “Get out of here, Cooper. Cherish the moments with Abbey in memory of me. Of the love that I stood for.”
I froze to the spot, uncertain that he was truly going to go through with this. But his lighter was positioned in his shaking grasp and he seemed convinced there wasn’t another choice. I saw him gaze distractedly at the wedding ring on his second to last finger.
“3.”
“2.”
“1.”
28
I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, having no chance to look back or witness DCI Reid commit his own death sentence. I jumped the last inch out of the building, landing on solid bricks and scuffing my elbows and face alike. From behind, a huge explosion of glass and fire billowed out, and I used my arms to protect my face whilst staying low to the ground. A few specks of shrapnel pieces charred my cheeks from their heat.
It was like I’d floated up and left my physical form behind, watching twenty things happen all at once. Spluttering in shock, a pair of arms gripped themselves around my waist to haul me to a place of safety. A fierce haze of fuzziness distracted my vision and concentration from those around me. Random people were trying to help me stand up and retrieve the aching sensations in my legs. They prodded me in vain, for I truly didn’t care about my own health and wellbeing.
“Get him out!” my voice startled a few of the already concerned onlookers but it proved difficult to get the policemen to listen to me. DCI Reid filled my head whilst dizziness simultaneously filled me from the core upwards.
They say you know when someone is dead, that you can feel it in your bones. Still, there was a fresh glimmer of hope which pulled the wool over my eyes. A coping mechanism, perhaps? I thought there may have been a possibility that DCI Reid survived the blast he had created.
When the final shards of the building had destroyed themselves and the concrete lay flat, that’s when everyone kicked themselves into action. Regardless of any injuries I’d sustained during the tussle, I tried to run back inside too. People’s hands grabbed at my arms to pull me away and they blurred and twisted in my mind, turning into a real-life adaptation of that famous painting of the screaming creature on the pathway.
“He’s in there.” My breath was short and wheezy, making me cough various times over.
Inside my pounding head, there was nothing to indicate my humanity remained. If someone had told me I’d been transformed into living plastic overnight, it would be believable. My insides felt vastly empty, like a great, big expanse of blank space. A wound that wouldn’t stop seeping. Even the most gluttonous of meals wouldn’t be able to fix me or help to get my fill. I could eat and eat and the ravenous feeling wouldn’t dissipate. It was a sense of immediate loss.
I dissociated myself with the scenes happening around me and my world turned at a fraction or two lower than anyone else’s. A pulsating heartbeat pounded from my eardrums all the way to my calves, the only beating thing which informed me of my remaining life. Flashes of white lights pierced my brain and I couldn’t stand up straight without stumbling.
“DCI Reid is still in the fire,” I croaked barely above a whisper. “Please.” Having classified myself as a stubborn, independent man for years, crying out for help was alien, uncertain territory for me. But the words wouldn’t stop from tumbling past my stinging lips, a lump of dried blood setting off a metallic taste whenever my tongue glided past it.
Fire safety officers shoved past as I tried to fight against those that held me behind. Their luminous uniforms juxtaposed the thick of night, as billowed ashes of smoke coated my lungs in a smoggy texture that wasn’t overly different from that of a cigarette. If anything, the scent was comforting and reminiscent of those many moments I and DCI Reid had spent outside smoking.
“Sir, it’s going to be alright.” I heard DC Taylor’s voice talking to me and it jolted me back to earth. “Tony and I pulled you from the worst of the explosion, but you’re in a state of shock.”
The boy’s face shone from a sheen of sweat and his own skin was pierced from standing too close to the final outburst. Dirty gravel embedded in his eyebrows, coated in crimson specks. Spinning round to see Tony, Rebecca and Cillian staring at me with concern, a feeling of bewilderment spread over me.
“How did you…?” I started.
“DS McCall phoned us and requested backup for you here,” he tried to calm me. “She explained the basics and your location. Uniform caught the white van starting to flee out of the bay and they found four men inside along with the guns DCI Reid had stolen from evidence.”
“You know about--?” I started to realise they’d been caught up to date with everything.
“We know,” Rebecca interrupted. “Sarge gave us the rundown. No one blames you for this, Sir. It isn’t your fault,” she kindly rubbed my back as I shivered. “The fire safety team will retrieve DCI Reid from the building, and then he’ll be in the care of the emergency unit.”
We hushed upon seeing the ambulance team solemnly carry out a covered stretcher a few minutes later. Nobody had to tell me anything or explain what happened. The pang in my stomach did all the talking for us. My eyes tracked the stretcher from the ruined building until they bundled DCI Reid’s charred body into a vehicle that didn’t stay there for long. I wanted to run after him, to tell DCI Reid that he was forgiven for being such a reckless man but my legs simply wouldn’t cooperate.
The ambulance workers were slowly ascending on our team too. “They want you to stay with the medical crew. You’re in shock. You shouldn’t be talking, let alone walking,” Cillian added, and I noticed they were splashed in mud from the waist down.
Tony’s gigantic self helped to steady us and led me over to sit in the ambulance. A few women carried out a few different tests to make sure I was thinking straight. Which I clearly wasn’t.
“He’s dead.” I sat limply and mumbled it countless times whilst the firemen hosed away the angry flames in the distance. “I should’ve done more to stop it. Wrestled the lighter away from him somehow?” I came up with completely theoretical solutions to a frankly impossible problem. There was nothing anyone could do now; it was too late.
“I think it’s best if you stay quiet for now, sir,” Rebecca advised and handed me some water. I didn’t really feel like drinking it but did so anyway to please them. DC Taylor wrapped a foil sheet around me as though it would make any difference in the slightest. The rest of our constables gradually descended into stillness with grave looks on their faces.
It was selfish of me to think I was the only one affected by tonight. All of us had lost our DCI, a man who we’d spent nearly every day with for the past year. He was corrupt, yes. But he had a wife and a home life separate from work. Family, friends and hobbies away from the schemes and the lies. DCI Reid was once like us, only engulfed in a deeper state of despair. One which he couldn’t escape easily and didn’t feel he could share with anyone. His guilt for Iona had plagued him for thirty-five years.
“It’s over now, sir,” Cillian attempted to help and straightened out his rumpled suit. “We’re, uh.” He struggled to form the sentence he wanted to say.
“I think he’s trying to say that we’re here for you. As your team, but also as your friends,” Rebecca helped him, to which Cillian nodded gratefully. DC Taylor hummed agreeably, jet black hair ruffled from the harsh wind. He was sitting next to me inside the a
mbulance, resting against the uncomfortable seats. I was certain McCall had asked him to do so. “You can trust us. We’ll get through this together. If you need anything--”
“Anything at all.” DC Taylor repeated, keeping a supportive hand on my shoulder.
“We’re here.”
They finished and stared at me expectantly. The whoosh of flames was beginning to die down and firefighters yelled commands at each other. Tony was still out there, trying to find out as much information as possible for our sakes. He wasn’t afraid to get stuck in and help the firefighters. He was a strapping lad, tall and strong. Tony was exactly what they needed to lift some fallen wood and had enough stamina to last awhile.
Cillian shuffled on the spot and gently dragged Rebecca to the side. “Uh, sir. There are some people here to see you,” he informed slowly and let us be.
I half expected a bunch of reporters or officers taking statements to walk around the ambulance doors. Instead, what I saw was the most comforting sight I’d had all night long. It was a petite and slim woman, with crazily frizzy ginger hair. They kind of matched the flames, that’s how bright they were.
“McCall,” I breathed out in relief and we ignored the ambulance team when they tried to advise us against hugging. She wrapped herself around me and squeezed tightly, not giving a damn about their suggestions.
“I told you that you’re a stupid man, didn’t I, Finlay Cooper?” She ordered bossily into my ear, but we both knew she was relieved to see I was alright.
“Thank you,” I struggled to talk properly, too overcome with a wave of emotion. Tonight had given me gratitude for those who cared wholeheartedly for me and who I cared for in return. “For the backup and--”
“Stop it,” she reluctantly let go and took a step back to examine me. I could see the hint of tears in her shockingly blue eyes. “You don’t have to thank me. I’m just glad you’re okay. We thought it was you in that fire and… yeah.” She trailed off. “I’ve learned to always do the opposite of what you tell me to do.”
McCall greeted DC Taylor in a similar fashion and wiped the grit from his chiselled jawline. Had I heard correctly?
“We?” I asked and tried to see past her figure.
“I couldn’t exactly rush out of your home without bringing Abbey along,” McCall said as if it was obvious. Sure enough, Abbey soon stepped around the ambulance door nervously and full of hesitance. Her bottom lip jutted out and whimpered whilst she tried to conceal her sobs. “She thought you’d been hurt in there. I tried to convince her that you were fine but she had a hard time trusting it. She wanted to see for herself.” I could see the redness of Abbey’s skin and tear stains that had ruined her makeup from afar.
“Finlay?” she stuttered as if I wasn’t standing in front of her.
Without saying a word, I paced over to where she stood and pulled her into the tightest hug of my life. It was filled with even more despair than the one McCall and I had shared. Smelling her sweet showering of perfume and feeling the dampness of her hair from the rain was something I’d needed to do for a while.
“Finlay,” she sobbed out of relief and I reached out like a baby to grip her jacket. We both leaned in for a sentimental kiss, full of mud, tears and blood from where my lip had been cut. Her curvaceous figure blurred from my abnormal display of crying, and she lunged into my awaiting arms. I needed somebody, anybody to be by my side and fill the space that DCI Reid had created.
There was a newfound, certain fragility to my personality; one which dowsed my heart into a vat of sentimental memories. It physically ached, if hearts can do such a thing.
“You’re covered in dirt,” she sniffed and her hands brushed away the specks of dusty concrete littering my clothes.
“Abbey,” I gulped and hid away from the world, away from life, away from DCI Reid’s actions and consequences. A medical expert intervened and handed her a crappy blanket as though that could patch things up. “It was only a couple of days ago we saw him alive,” Abbey wavered unhelpfully, threatening to throw a wobbly too. She rarely had to be strong for my sake. “God, we were having dinner with his wife.”
“I’m sorry,” DC Taylor and McCall settled themselves across from showing. “It’s horrific. I had no idea--” He wrapped a comforting arm around McCall’s shoulders.
We stayed as we were for a while longer, holding our loved ones as tightly as possible. DCI Reid’s words still echoed around my head, about love and commitment. At this moment here, I could see how some people would do anything for the ones they loved.
“That video you sent me will go towards their cases,” McCall eventually shared and delved into the case details, “and that includes Judge Jake Ramsey. You’re lucky they talked about him on the recording.”
The video. I’d completely forgotten about that. “My phone, it was broken,” I frowned confusedly. “It wouldn’t send,” I shook and tried to recall the events in order, sensing that my mind had jumbled the memories.
“Don’t try to think too much sir,” DC Taylor advised. “That’ll be the shock that’s making it harder.”
“I got the recording in the end, and we can safely say they’ll be going down for a while. They've got murder, robbery and drug charges against them. I’d like to see them wriggle out of it all,” McCall assured me. “The video is safe and sound, as you are. I wouldn’t forgive myself if anything had happened to you.”
“Don’t,” I pleaded, feeling guilty for DCI Reid’s death. I knew it wasn’t my fault, but that didn’t stop the millions of questions that raced through my head. All the torturous ‘what ifs and ‘whys?’ How could I feel his loss, but yet not quite trust that he was gone entirely? A part of me was convinced that DCI Reid would show up at the office one day soon, smoking his uninhibited cigarette and swigging mouthfuls of Irish coffees that he’d made on the sly.
The last of the raging fire cracked in the distance, leaving behind only the burnt embers of a horrific act committed by a respected member of our own station. I made a silent vow that nobody would forget DCI Reid’s early days of serious police work and the days when he began to climb up the ranks. Of the days when he tried his best before the steely grips of corruption took their place on his soul.
A fallen hero.
An example of who we had to stop ourselves from becoming. That we couldn’t allow the injustice of our department to get to us. We were never going to outwit all the criminals in the world, or squash crime for the rest of time. We were there to protect those who needed protecting and do our very best, even if others wanted more from us. Our team would continue to fight against the corruption that had polluted one too many stations over the course of history and remain caring souls in a world that needed more.
Abbey unclenched my fists with her delicate fingers, a silent form of telling me to relax. We watched our team roaming the grass and the building, a newfound place in my hearts for each of them. Tony had rolled up his sleeves and was standing in the rubble. The firefighters were appreciative of the help, whilst Cillian and Rebecca seemed to be deep in conversation.
“They’re good people,” McCall noted and mirrored my own stares.
“Yeah, they are,” I swallowed the cry that rose in my throat.
We all refused to budge as the hours passed, paying our respects to the former DCI as dusk turned efficiently to dawn. It exposed us to a new day where the chill didn’t even bother us. It was the furthest thing from our minds. DCI Reid’s body would be far away from here now and Iona would soon be informed of his death.
“Iona’s going to be heartbroken. That was her husband too,” Abbey choked up. Her nose was a bright red from the weeping she’d done. Iona Reid flashed into my mind. The love DCI Reid had for her was true and more real than most, in a weird way. Who knew what she’d do without him around in that huge house of theirs? Her life had been torn to pieces because DCI Reid wanted to save her, in the long run. It was a tragic tale and was one which I’d survived to tell.
Epilogue
Standing there now and picturing that night vividly, it felt like only yesterday. We’d endured a hardship that most people would struggle to understand, but a struggle that bonded our team together. Because of the loss, we’d learned to understand each other on a personal and deeper level.
We were more than a team. We were friends. It was nice to reminisce and admit that, but it only made me miss the department like hell. An important lesson I learned from DCI Reid, was to love like tomorrow was your final day. Since then, I’d shown consideration and appreciation for the people that had improved the quality of my life.
Muddy boot prints gave away the fact someone had visited Seafield house, but the spitting Scottish rain soon cleared that up. Some things didn’t change, not ever. Seemingly my wife was right, a walk did well to clear the mind and bring a peaceful quality to the day.
An idea was brewing inside as I turned my back on the significant building and started to retrace my footsteps towards our home. It had taken a while to build up the courage to return to Seafield house, but now I had, the worry was irrelevant. For along with the negative memories, came the positives. Like the time McCall had come to stay, and we loved having her around. That McCall and I were able to endure another tricky case in our partnership but still come out of it fighting and stronger than before.
I was convinced that we were indestructible, and she’d have to kill me before I’d stop being her work partner. We were constants that an invisible force had brought together in some twist of fate. I was one of the lucky ones, for few had a friendship so strong.
Then there was my wife. Without the case, I’d never have realised showing a lot of emotion made you human. That loving someone was nothing to be ashamed of. DCI Reid had loved, yes. But he wasn’t great at showing emotion or talking about his issues. That made him an emotionally unavailable man, and husband too. He wasn’t able to express himself to Iona, and that drove him into the arms of the devil on his shoulder. The voice that whispered tragic and unnecessary thoughts and made us doubt our own worth.
The Devil Among Us Page 23