Shit!
She’s not getting it.
“Savanna, you’re not hearing me!” I have to raise my voice to get her attention. Also, by saying her full name that I never use, I figure it will show her my seriousness regarding the matter. “It started with Heather. Then she came to me. She was wearing that outfit you put on when we were younger and posed for those stupid Holiday cards you used to make us all do every year. Remember the red velvet and fur?”
“I wouldn’t be caught dead in anything like that,” she swears.
This time I chuckle. She most certainly wore one and it was her idea. Just recalling the whole ordeal puts a temporary smile on my distraught face. I want nothing more than to make this all stop, but tender moments like this, her looking so young and vibrant, without the years of stress, cancer, and time.
Someone is playing Christmas music in the room next to me. People are talking and they seem to be having a good time, all while I’m trying to convince someone I love that I’m not crazy.
I’m not.
This is obviously a figment of my overactive imagination, because I remember falling asleep. It’s not like one second I was coherent and the next I was running around trying to harm myself. Okay, maybe it is like that. Maybe I have lost my damn mind.
What if everything else was the dream? Could something so detailed and vivid have happened to me?
Hell no!
I won’t let this confuse me any more than it already is.
“I can’t believe it’s Christmas time and I’m getting to spend it with all the people I love in one place. The ranch is beautiful. Krista showed me around while we were waiting to hear back from you. They’re talking about expanding it even more. The main house is like a dream. Colt is lucky. I hope he knows how hard his father works to leave him this legacy.”
Every time I hear Krista’s name I want to pull out my own hair, my newly rejuvenated dark, thick locks might I add. It’s little things like her name that lets me know this has to be all in my head.
“So, you met Krista?”
“Well yeah. I mean, we’ve hung out before. Don’t tell me you forgot our summer trip to the beach? Maybe you do have a concussion.”
“Yeah,” my brows furrow in between words, “maybe I do.”
I hate this. She’s so kind. I don’t want her to hate me, even in this reality. “Van, we need to talk about Heather.”
“Ty, I don’t know a Heather. I don’t think I’ve ever known a Heather personally in my entire life.”
“That’s not possible. She’s been in school with us from day one. Long, curly blonde hair? Conceited? Cheerleader?”
She’s shaking her head. “I would surely remember if she has been in one of our classes. There was a Charity. The only two blonde cheerleaders are Melissa and Bobby Jo.”
“What the hell is happening?”
“Ty, maybe you aren’t as okay as they say you are. You bumped your head. I’m sure these are symptoms of a concussion. When the swelling goes down you’ll feel better.”
She tries to take my hand, but I snap it away. This is impossible. “I wasn’t dreaming and it’s not because the accident. I was desperately searching for Miranda because she’s in trouble. That guy she’s with is trouble. He’s going to smack her around, force her to do things, and then she’ll get pregnant. He’s going to cheat on her and abandon the child.”
“How could you predict something so awful? That’s not even funny. This accident has really messed with your sense of humor.”
“Do I look like I’m trying to make you laugh? Have you ever, in our entire lives, seen me this serious before?”
Van is taken aback by my question. She studies my face, silently contemplating if what I’m saying could have any truth in it. Then she shakes the thought. “Yes, when you’re trying to torture me.”
“I don’t torture you.”
Her arms cross over her chest. “Yeah, okay.” Then, out of nowhere, her nostrils flaring, she makes an announcement that leads me to believe that she’s not my sweet, innocent Savanna at all. “I know you’ve been through a lot today, Ty, but I’m not in the mood for your shit. If you’re screwing with me, cut it out. I promised we could give our relationship another try, but I’m sick of the jokes. I’m tired of you acting like a child. Grow up.”
“Another try? What happened?”
I get another one of those hate-filled looks. “Are you being serious?”
“Temporary amnesia,” I claim while waving my hands around.
“You pushed me to the limit and I did something I’m not proud of. I hurt you and I was wrong.”
“You hurt me?”
“Ty, now I know you’re playing with me. You just want me to say it out loud to make yourself feel better. I’m not going down that road again. We said we would never discuss it again. You promised. I did what you asked. I cut Mike out of our lives. It will never happen again. Please drop it.”
“Mike?” I’m in disbelief. “Mike, my best friend since kindergarten?”
She rolls her eyes, then turns to fetch her coat off the nearby chair. “I said I wasn’t doing this.”
“Van, please.” I take a second to think about how to word things to keep her around. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I think I might have hit my head. Everything is scrambled. This Heather thing has me confused. I could’ve sworn she existed. Then the whole Mike thing. It’s a lot.”
“I need you to be the guy I know you can be.”
“Or else what? You’ll run back to Mike apparently?”
“I didn’t run to him. God, you make me sound like such a martyr. He was there for me when you weren’t. I never meant for you to find out. We’ve been through this.”
Suddenly, I don’t feel that unconditional love that my real Van has always had for me. Even at our worsts, even when I cheated, I could still feel that she loved me in her own way. Now her words are cold. It’s like there’s absolutely no connection between us, and she’s hanging on for reasons I can’t grasp. It’s sad and humiliating. Even though I sense that this is all in my head, it doesn’t hurt any less.
“Look, maybe you should head back to the ranch with everyone else and enjoy the festivities. I need some time to clear my head.”
She nods. “Yeah. That’s probably a good idea.” Van leans forward and kisses me on the lips. It’s so absurd I just freeze and let it happen. “I love you, babe. Have a little faith and stop worrying about the Mike thing. I’m here with you.”
If this dream keeps on, and I get back to North Carolina in this timeline, I’m messing Mike up. I was always Van’s one and only. To hear she’s given it up to that loser makes me furious. It also reminds me of how much of a shitty boyfriend I used to be to her. Karma really is a bitch.
“Yeah, I know.”
Not long after the family heads back to the ranch, a nurse comes in to take my vitals. When our faces meet I just about shit myself.
Heather.
Wiping my eyes, I take a second look. “This isn’t happening.”
“Oh, it most certainly is, old friend.” She’s prepping a needle full of some foreign green liquid. It doesn’t seem like anything I’ve ever heard of or seen on television medical shows.
I’m trying to jump from the bed as she approaches. When she notices she calls for assistance. Orderlies enter the room, followed by another nurse. Just before they reach me to hold me down, she nears my ear and says something only I can hear. “See what happens to your life if I don’t exist? This is just the beginning. Sweet dreams, Ty.”
There’s no time to tell her to wait. The magic sedative, or lethal mixture takes over and I’m done for.
“Ty, can you hear me?”
I recognize Miranda’s voice. The adrenaline begins to wake me and I shoot up from a lying position because I think I’m finally out of the nightmare. At first the room is blurry, but as I begin to focus I realize I’m very much still in the same predicament. I’m in one of the upstairs rooms in Colt’s pare
nts’ mansion. The lights are out, but my vision allows me to see a figure. Miranda is sitting on the bed beside me crying. Her hands are covering her face. I reach over to touch her arm, but she shoves me away. “Don’t. Don’t touch me. I can’t even look at you.”
“What happened?” I’m asking because I have no clue how either of us got in this room. Not to mention, I’m not even sure what day or year it is.
“Don’t act like you don’t know. First you make my boyfriend think I’m cheating on him. Then you convince the whole family that you and I are supposedly fated to be together. Just so you know, I took a pregnancy test, Ty. I’m not pregnant like you claimed I would be. Uncle Mitch is still alive, and everyone is just fine and dandy here in Kentucky. You need to get your priorities straight.”
“I don’t understand any of this. Last I remember I was…” There’s no sense in fighting about it. She’s not going to believe me and I’ve lost more time. I’m so lost I don’t even know what to say to her. “I’m sorry if I hurt you, Miranda. I’m sorry if you think I’m crazy.”
“Well I’m just glad I’m not pregnant. That relationship was a train wreck. You probably did me the biggest favor that night last year.”
“Last year.” I repeat it while I think of all the months unaccounted for.
“I know you’re here for the holidays again, but I need you to stop calling me and pressing me about this. I’m trying to be civil with you because of the family, but you’re making it impossible. I’m here because I want to tell you once and for all that you and I are never going to be together. The constant phone calls, the emails, the more frequent visits to the ranch, it’s all too much. I feel like you’re obsessed with me, which makes no sense because we’ve been considered family our entire lives. I don’t know what brought this on. Ty, I care about you like a cousin, but nothing more.”
“So you’re not attracted to me?”
She stands and backs away from the bed. “What the hell? You don’t understand the word no.”
“Just answer me. If you saw me on the street as a stranger what would you think?”
I’m grasping at straws here. She’s pushing me away. She’s pleading for me to leave her alone. I’m losing her and I can’t stand it. Everything is changed but I don’t feel any different. She’s my soul mate and nothing is going to change that.
Her arms flap at her sides. “Are you serious?”
“Be honest with me and I’ll let it go.” I feel like a kid with his fingers crossed behind my back.”
“I’d say he probably has a girlfriend back in North Carolina where he belongs. I’m done here.”
She starts to turn to leave but I jump from the bed and throw my body in front of the door to prevent her from leaving. I’m shirtless and she’s checking me out. When she catches herself it’s too late. The grin on my face says it all.
When I reach out and brush away a strand of her hair she doesn’t stop me. Our eyes are so connected I’m afraid to blink. Inching even closer, I keep speaking, because for some reason she’s no longer denying this. “What if I belong wherever you are?”
She tries to shove me away, though I clutch onto her wrists to keep her hands pressed over my chest. “Stop saying stuff like that. It’s weird.”
“Unless it’s the truth.”
“I’ve never in my life given you any reason to think I want you.”
“You do though, don’t you? All you needed was for the idea to be planted. You needed me to prove I was serious and not like the other losers you’ve dated. You needed me to go above and beyond. So here I am, doing just that, all in hopes that you’ll finally admit this is happening.”
“You have a girlfriend back home; someone you’ve been with for a long time. How would she feel if she knew you were here with me right now trying to convince me to be with you. What kind of person would I be if I slept with another woman’s man? Why would I want a guy who would cheat so easily?”
“Van and I aren’t meant to be. You want me to end things with her, I’ll pick up the phone and do it right now.”
Her eyes widen. “You’re serious?”
“Damn right I am.”
I draw closer, now able to feel her fast breathing against my face. God, I need to kiss her, to feel those lips I desperately desire. One kiss is all I need to convince her that she’s mine. I’m sure of it.
“Even if I admitted there could be an attraction, the family won’t allow it. You and I both know it. They’ll never approve. People think we’re related.”
“But we aren’t. We share a mutual cousin. That’s it. You’re related to Colt on his Mom’s side and my father is brothers with his father. It’s as simple as that.”
“You and I both know this isn’t simple.”
I’m tired of waiting. Dragging my thumb over her lips, I struggle to keep it together when I feel them loosely part. I’m dying for her acceptance, because even if this dream isn’t going to end at least I’ll be with her where I belong. Whatever happens afterwards won’t even matter.
Miranda’s hands slowly lift up against my chest. She keeps her eyes on mine, almost as if she’s testing the waters. “I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought about being with you.” Her hands reach my shoulders and run down my biceps. “You’re so strong and funny. You’re always checking on me and making me feel cared about.”
“Plus I’m sexy,” I add to her compliments.
This causes her to shyly smile and bring her head to lean on my chest. My arms come up and wrap around her small frame. “I couldn’t stay away from you if I tried, so if you came in this room to tell me that, I’m sorry I can’t abide.”
She peers into my eyes again, her face so seriously focused. “Maybe I came in here hoping I could resist you, but all the while knowing I would fail.”
I’d be lying if I said excitement doesn’t hit me in the pit of my stomach and warm every inch of my body. “What’s between us can’t be ignored, Miranda.” I take her face in my hands as I speak. “I just want to love you.”
I don’t know if it’s those particular words, or the fact that we’re alone in a dim lit room contemplating intimacy, but the mood is set and shit is about to go down. My senses are heightened and I swear the idea of being with her for the first time again gets me so hard.
Our mouths crash together in a moment of pure bliss. She captivates my soul with her touch, and I’m instantly mesmerized by our mutual desire. It feels like the first time, when in reality it’s far too many to count. I’m in awe of her, how when I lift her up against the dresser her frame fits so perfectly pressed against mine. Those sexy thighs wrap around my ass as I work to disregard her top and get to what’s hiding underneath. Her breasts, the breasts that fed our children, are so perky and firm. I almost feel like a teenager again, exploring a woman while my senses are in overdrive. This is everything to me, her wanting me, reciprocating every kiss, this is all I want. I knew what I was doing the second I began to kiss down her perfect body and remove the remainder of her clothes. I breathe warm heat onto her sexy panties, her pussy just underneath the thin fabric. Miranda lets me, my hands gradually spreading her legs further apart so that my broad shoulders rest at her knees. There’s such an advantage to knowing this woman already. I know how to tease, where to touch, to lick and how often. I feel completely in charge, thriving to prove what I’ve been given a chance at. At the same time I’m helpless and lost in her. Her panties come down with ease, exposing that precious treasure underneath.
I didn't know it was possible to feel nervous touching her, but it feels like it’s been forever. My first taste is nostalgic and then instinct takes over. I do what I’ve always done best, pleasure her over and over until she’s crumbling. Then, when I have her trembling from head to toe I take what’s rightfully mine and enter her. Miranda doesn’t hold back her delight. She’s vocal, probably filling the hallways with her symphonic moans. We go at it for hours, resting in between bursts of unhinged desire and lust. I’ve never been so s
atiated, so enthralled in a task like this one. We come together, multiple times, each syncing release better than the one before it.
It consumes every bit of my energy, leaving me exasperated and in need of sustenance. We lie in bed, both of our stomachs growling, but refusing to leave this place in fear that simply exiting the room could end what we’ve just discovered in each other. I didn’t think it was possible to fall in love with her again, but it’s just happened before my eyes.
We’re naked in the bed, her body cast over mine, sweat covering our skin making us stick together in a sexy way. Having known everything about this woman, it wasn’t hard convincing her I was the best lover she’d ever had. Little did she know that we’ve been here before, there’s nothing we haven’t tried or talked about. I knew from the first kiss I’d get her back. “What are you thinking right now?” I inquire while tracing my fingers on her bare back.
“I’m just wondering how we got here and what’s going to happen when we leave this room.”
While kissing the top of her head, I consider the things I’ll have to do if this dream continues. Heather said things would be different and she is right. I need to end things with Van. Granted, according to this reality for the past year I’ve been pursuing another woman. We couldn’t possibly be happy. My heart has always been with Miranda since this started. Knowing what I know, I’d never lead Van on, or do things that I’d even regret in my dreams. Van and I have never been compatible. When we were together we were kids. She’ll get over me. She’s done it before easily. What’s changed is her future. Before, in real life, she had Colt, and I wholeheartedly believe he is her soul mate, so what will happen if they never connect? How will her life change if Krista lives and they marry? What if there will never be a Colt and Savanna?
I’m suddenly sick to my stomach. Van is family. I love her dearly. Breaking up with her means she has no ties to my family. It crushes me to imagine she will never know the love Colt gives her.
It Came Upon a Mitchell Clear: A Mitchell Holiday Novella (Mitchell Healy Series Book 16) Page 4