* * *
Bridge and I had spent pretty much every night together for the past two weeks. Either I stayed at her place or she came to mine. Phyllis had totally accepted me, thanks to the renovation, so she didn’t have a problem with me being there overnight. Although, I can’t lie…it still felt a little weird, like having your mom down the hall.
I never got tired of having her around. Actually, it was quite the opposite; anytime we weren’t together, I wished we were. For over three weeks now, I wouldn’t get to the office until eight, and I’d be out the door every day by five, not a minute after. Unless, of course, it was a rare night I didn’t see Brooke. But today, after the issue I’d had with that profile, I finished all the calls I needed to make and left shortly after four.
I just couldn’t wait to start my weekend.
That wasn’t my typical mindset. Normally, weekends did nothing but bring me down. While most people went out or made plans with friends, I’d watch movies with my computer in my lap. I’d go to the store for food or whatever else I needed, but aside from that and family dinners on Sundays, my weekends were lonely and boring—something I hadn’t truly realized until about a month and a half ago. That’s when my life had come to a screeching halt, forcing me to take a good look at myself and where I was headed. Ever since Brooke had entered—or should I say, re-entered—my life, there had been subtle changes. In me. For the good.
Such as not living in my office.
My parents had drilled into us at a young age that work came first. Always. No matter what. When I was two, I’d fallen and needed stitches; it was my nanny who had taken me to the hospital and held my hand. I, of course, couldn’t remember any of that, but the story—as well as many others—had been told to me. I’d grown accustomed to my parents’ absence, because it was the way things were in our household.
And for the first time in my life, I realized how abnormal that was.
Looking at Brooke now, curled into my chest with my arm around her, it made me contemplate her upbringing. It wasn’t like I’d never thought about it before; I’d always known about her mom and the struggles they’d had to face. But now, it was like I was looking at it through a different lens.
I didn’t feel sorry for her. I didn’t pity her. I admired her. But at the same time, I felt angry—mostly at myself. I’d known her since she was twelve. Granted, I was sixteen or seventeen, so it wasn’t like I’d had the wherewithal to help, yet that didn’t stop the frustration that burned inside over the fact that I hadn’t done anything. Not when she was a kid, not when she was in high school dealing with her mom’s diagnosis, and not a few years later when she had to bury her only parent.
While I knew how unreasonable it was to be upset with myself for such things, it didn’t change how I felt. I’d technically known her while she dealt with all of that, and to make matters worse, I’d known it was happening. Nellie used to talk about it when she’d call to check in with me after I moved away for college. I guess that was the part that pissed me off most—the fact that I was aware of her situation, knew her personally, yet I never did anything to help or protect her.
That realization hit me hard, because as I stared at her, her attention glued to the movie that played on my big screen, I wanted nothing more than to protect her from anything bad ever happening to her again. It could’ve been the fact that we were watching a Marvel movie, full of superheroes and villains, but I doubted it. My need to hold onto her and keep her safe was honest and genuine, not some silly idea I’d gotten from Iron Man or Thor.
Just then, she lifted her chin to look at me. With a smile so bright it lit up the room, she asked, “Why are you staring at me? Do I have something on my face again?” She pushed up on her elbow and began to wipe her hand down her face.
It made me laugh, reminding me of the marker she’d worn to dinner that one time.
“Nah, I was just thinking about something.”
“Oh, that’s vague.” She moved to sit up more, wagging her brows. “And intriguing. Tell me more, Mr. Fields. What were you thinking about?” She knew what it did to me when she called me Mr. Fields.
“Do you remember that time Nell broke her leg? I think you two were, like, thirteen or something.” I laughed at the confusion that marred her face. “You guys were doing something you weren’t supposed to, she got hurt, and I had to drive her to the hospital.”
“Yes, I remember that. I guess I just don’t know why that’s what you were thinking about.”
Normally, I had an iron stomach, but after seeing the bone protruding from my sister’s shin, I’d wanted to vomit. It was bad. But that hadn’t been what stuck out to me the most; it wasn’t the reason for that specific memory coming to me just now. The reason had been Brooke.
I brushed a strand of hair off her cheek and smiled. “That was the first time I ever held you, and having you in my arms right now made me think of it.”
“Oh, great,” she said with a soft laugh, rolling her eyes. “Cuddling with you makes you remember the time you had to console me because I was crying that Nellie had to have surgery? You’re so romantic.”
Brooke had taken charge and remained calm…until Nellie was taken into surgery. Then she broke down. I hadn’t even realized it until I’d noticed her shoulders violently shaking. When I glanced over to see what she was doing, she’d had her arms crossed over her chest—as if holding herself—while silent tears streaked down her face.
I laughed with her, even though I didn’t really find anything funny. “I’d always thought you were so strong, Bridge. Hands down, one of the strongest people I ever knew, and you were four years younger than me. Until that moment, the thought never crossed my mind that you’d need someone to comfort you. I guess I always thought you never needed it.”
I’d never had anyone comfort me in times when I’d needed it, and even at such a young age, I’d felt like she and I were a lot alike. Although, I doubted I’d been able to fully process that thought at the time. We were young—I was only eighteen, so she had to have been thirteen or fourteen. I’d known enough to feel a connection, but not mature enough to understand what it was. Now, I could look back at that moment and know, without a doubt, that us being together made more sense than anything else.
“Wanna know a secret?” She sighed and crossed her arms over my chest, resting her chin on top. “You’re the only person, aside from my mom, who’s ever been able to console me like that. You made me feel safe that day.”
“Well, I’m glad.” I traced her brow with my finger and smiled at her. “Although, I doubt you’ve needed much of that in your life. I wasn’t lying when I said you’re the strongest person I know. You’re resilient and tough.”
Her gaze fell from my eyes, landing on my chin or neck or chest, I wasn’t sure. And when she glanced up again, I couldn’t ignore the heavy emotion that darkened her irises, turning them from two meadows to two avocados. “Wanna know another secret?”
Unable to speak, I simply nodded and waited for her to share with me.
“When my mom died, I thought about that time—you comforting me in the waiting room at the hospital. I kept thinking…if he were here, I’d feel better. Don’t take that the wrong way; it’s not like I liked you, or anything. I just remembered how safe you made me feel, and without my mom being there to hold me, I couldn’t help but wish you were.”
The pain in her eyes reignited the anger I’d felt earlier when thinking of all she’d been through in her life. And it once again had me hating myself for not having the forethought to reach out. I couldn’t help but think that had I called to check on her, not just rely on Nellie’s updates, she could’ve told me all of this, and then I could’ve been there for her.
Then again, that was assuming she would’ve told me.
And knowing Brooklyn, she more than likely wouldn’t have.
“The only reason I’d made it through those first weeks and months was because of you,” she continued, gratitude shining in her eyes.<
br />
I was about to say something, question how I could’ve possibly gotten her through those times when I hadn’t even been there, but she beat me to it.
Offering me a sad yet appreciative smile, she added, “There were nights I cried so hard I couldn’t breathe, and my heart felt like someone was squeezing it. Those were the nights my pillow would be drenched in tears. But as soon as I closed my eyes and thought about you holding me, it all stopped. I’d imagine we were back there in that waiting room, your arms around me, and instantly, the tears would dry up, like someone turned off a faucet. My breathing would return to normal as if I hadn’t just been hyperventilating, and my heart no longer felt constricted.”
And just like that, the burning anger was extinguished.
Chapter 24
Brooke
I couldn’t believe I’d just admitted all of that to him. Must’ve been the wine.
Being that vulnerable and candid wasn’t something I was used to, except with Nellie. But for some reason, the words had just tumbled out, my brain too caught up in memories to stop it from happening.
Honestly, I was surprised he’d even remembered that day. Sure, his sister had broken her leg, and he’d been the one who had to drive her to the hospital. I didn’t expect him to forget that, but the rest of it? Holding me while I cried? Never in a million years would I have thought he’d remember that.
It just made that moment even more special to me.
“You could’ve called, Bridge. I know I wasn’t in town, but it’s not like you couldn’t have gotten ahold of me. Had I known, I would’ve been here.”
I rolled my eyes dismissively and let out a soft giggle. “Easier said than done, Corbin. Nellie had taken it upon herself to be my keeper; calling you would’ve made her feel like I didn’t want her around. Not to mention, you know damn well she never would’ve given me your number. Anyway, it’s fine. It’s not like you knew—or could’ve done anything about it—and in the end, you were able to get me through it. Even if you had no idea you were.”
He ran the pad of his thumb along my cheek, and it sent heat racing through my body. If we hadn’t just had sex less than an hour ago, I would’ve totally acted on it. Not only because his touch instantly aroused me, but because it would’ve been the perfect way to put an end to this conversation.
I lifted myself just enough to kiss his lips and then pushed away until I was sat on my knees between his body and the couch. “I’m thirsty. Want anything from the kitchen while I’m up?”
Corbin sat up as well. He pressed his incredibly soft lips to my forehead before standing. “That’s all right. I’ll get us something; I have to take a leak anyway. You stay here and keep my spot warm. Water?”
I nodded and then smiled when he winked. Once he was out of the room, I snuggled into the couch where he’d been lying and pulled the soft blanket up to my chin. His absence was enough to remind me of just how warm he was when we snuggled, because without him, there was a chill I couldn’t seem to fight off no matter how hard I tried.
We’d pretty much been inseparable over the last several weeks, not including work hours. But about a week ago, it really hit me—I didn’t want this to end. Ever. However, even though I felt that way, I still had reservations about what we were doing.
When I thought about my relationship with Chase, I realized there had always been something missing. While I had no doubt that we truly cared for one another, I couldn’t deny the writing on the wall—I had been more in love with the idea of love than love itself. And there was a part of me—albeit, a small part—that made me want to put on the brakes for fear of rushing into this with Corbin, only to walk away with the same conclusion.
And as if my history with Chase wasn’t enough to battle, I also had to deal with the stigma of Lindsey. I trusted Corbin when he said they were over. There’d been a bit of a question mark over their relationship in the past, but I fully believed him when he said that, regardless if we were together or not, he had no desire to be with her. However, that didn’t stop his entire family from rooting for them, and that was something I just couldn’t compete with.
When Corbin came back with two glasses of water, I moved over to make room for him on the sofa. And once again, I was warm and safe. Even though the movie still played, I was more interested in talking to him. It was something Chase and I never did much of. Well, I’d done a lot of talking, but looking back over the course of our relationship, he never listened or interacted the way Corbin did. So with one leg curled over his, I crossed my arms over his abdomen and propped my chin on top of my hands to look at him.
“You never did tell me about your conversation with Nellie today. You told me to call you when I was on break, but when I did, you didn’t answer. What was all that about?”
“Oh, yeah. I’m sorry, babe. I was on the phone for most of the day trying to take care of a few things for work. By the time I finished with that, it was already after four, so I just left.” He dragged his finger down my nose. “And as you know, once you got here, the last thing I was thinking about was my sister.”
My face flushed at the memory of what we’d done right here on this couch. “No, silly. I wasn’t asking why you didn’t answer the phone. I meant, what did Nellie have to say? You made it sound important.”
He took a deep breath, causing my head to rise with his chest. I didn’t think anything of it at first, but as soon as he lifted his gaze over my head, I stilled and paid attention. That was usually a good sign that he had to contemplate his response, which had me a little worried.
“I don’t know, Bridge…it was just weird. She texted me out of nowhere and asked how the plan was going. Then she asked if you knew, and when I said I hadn’t spoken to you, she quickly ended the conversation. It felt like she was fishing for something, but I don’t know what.”
“Well, what did you tell her?” I asked and then held my breath.
“That we had plans to meet up next week.”
“Do you? Have plans, I mean.”
When his eyes met mine again, I began to relax. “No. Honestly, Bridge, now that I’m not spending every waking hour in the office, I’m finding myself much busier when I am there. Finding time to go downstairs to hit on someone I really don’t care to talk to isn’t high on my priority list. I’m sorry. I know how much you want to get back at Chase, and trust me, I really want that for you, too.”
When Chase had broken up with me, I wanted him to hurt as badly as I had, and while I still felt that way on some level, I began to question how important that was. After going days believing that Corbin had had drinks with another woman—despite it being someone I’d told him to hit on—I was no longer sure how I felt about the plan. Yes, I still wanted Chase to know what it felt like to be cheated on. But in my heart of hearts, I had to trust that his day would come, and that I didn’t have to orchestrate it for that to happen.
I’d actually spent some time contemplating this over the last couple of weeks, but it wasn’t until right now that I realized I no longer wanted Corbin to pursue Heather in any capacity. Except, I wasn’t sure how to tell him that, and since he’d made no real plans to meet up with her, I figured that conversation could wait. At least until I’d worked out my feelings for him and where I wanted our relationship to go. Which would have to be after the Fields’s annual Easter egg hunt this Sunday; I didn’t need any added stress in my life. Once that was over, we could sit down and discuss where we were in regard to our feelings now that we’d been “together” for a month.
“What are you thinking about?” Corbin ran his fingertips up and down my bare arms, creating gooseflesh in his wake.
“Nothing much.” I grinned up at him.
“That’s not fair. I told you what I was thinking about when you asked.” He tried to act offended, but it didn’t work. I could read him pretty well. That, and he was a horrible actor.
“Fine…I was thinking about your parents’ shindig this weekend. I know I’ve been to their house w
ith you since we started hooking up, but this just feels different.”
“What do you mean? Different how?”
“I guess I’m just so used to being flirty with you that I’m worried I’ll do or say something, not thinking, and it’ll call attention to us before we’re ready. I mean, we’ve got so many inside jokes and things we do unconsciously. What if your parents pick up on it, or heaven forbid Nellie catches on? It’s honestly stressing me out.” My hands began to fidget beneath my chin at the mere thought of it.
“Everything will be fine, okay? You’re worrying about nothing. Don’t sweat it, or you’ll end up calling attention to yourself anyway by acting weird.” He held my face between his hands and leaned forward to kiss me.
Don’t sweat it. Yeah, easy for him to say.
* * *
Even though I’d woken up next to Corbin this morning, I was on my way to his parents’ house alone. He’d practically begged me to get ready at his place, but I couldn’t. I’d been filled with nervous energy ever since last night, and if I had any hope of making it through the day around his family and friends—and, apparently, half the city—I needed a moment to myself.
And by “a moment,” I meant three hours.
The event—yes, event, because Corbin’s parents didn’t know how to do anything on a small scale—didn’t start until eleven. Corbin and Nellie had to be there early, which meant I had to drive myself. Well, it wasn’t like I could’ve arrived with Corbin without it being scandalous, but at least this way it got me out of having to ride with Nellie.
Things between us had been a little…off lately. I wasn’t sure what was going on, and while the paranoid side of my brain thought she might’ve known about her brother and me, the rational side believed her excuses—all of them. Anytime I had tried to make plans to hang out, there was always a reason she couldn’t. A date, a headache, work. But the one thing that kept gnawing at me the most was her lack of texts. Last month, it would’ve taken hours to get through a couple days’ worth of messages, but now, I could scroll through an entire week in less than a minute.
The unEXpected Plan Page 25