by Emery Rose
“I bet you are. I bet you’re good at a lot of things. I saw what a good artist you are.”
“Yep. I’m going to be an artist and a cowboy and a football player. And a motorcycle rider like Uncle Jesse. And I’m gonna be rich like Uncle Gideon.”
“Wow. You’re going to be busy.”
“Mmhmm.” He tilted his cone to lick it. Sure enough, the top scoop fell off and splattered on the blacktop at his feet. “Oh no.” He face-palmed himself and groaned. “Not again.” He looked up at Brody who shook his head and sighed.
“Now I remember why we don’t get double scoops.”
“It was my prize for the gold star at school,” he reminded Brody. “Doesn’t matter. I still have this one. Besides, I like the bubblegum one best. At the end, I get to chew the gum too.”
“It’s always good to look for the silver lining.” I shared a laugh with Brody.
“Let’s get you home.” Brody put his hands on Noah’s shoulders and steered him away from the truck. “See you around, Viv.”
“See you Brody. Bye Noah.”
“Bye. Wait, do you wanna ride horses with us?” Noah yelled back at me.
“I’m sure your daddy wants to spend time alone with you.”
“Okay.”
“But thanks for the offer.” He was already gone so he didn’t hear me.
I watched them drive away in Brody’s big black truck then slunk down in my seat, feeling like an idiot. Five minutes later, I was still sitting there, thinking I should leave when a text came through from Brody.
If you want to ride with us, you’re welcome to.
The corners of my lips lifted into a smile, and those stupid butterflies invaded my stomach. How ridiculous that a text from Brody made me feel this happy. Like, maybe he actually wanted to spend time with me.
You sure I won’t be in your way?
I stared at my phone and two seconds later another text came through.
Meet us at the barn in half an hour.
Instead of waiting for Hayley to come out of her gymnastics class, I drove home. I had five weeks left in Cypress Springs and was coming to accept that maybe it would be better if I left her alone. I had seen as much as I needed to. She was a happy little girl and had obviously been adopted by a loving family who made her a priority. There must be a database for adopted kids where I could leave confidential information. That way it would be up to her. If she ever wanted to track down her birth mom, she could.
But even as I thought it, my blood ran cold. If she ever decided to look me up, how could I possibly explain what I’d done? I couldn’t. Not even to myself. I was worse than my father. Maybe that was why I’d given him money when Landry refused. Guilt.
Rhett Holloway used the money to buy a bar in Nashville and named it after himself. Every night there was live music and singer/songwriter sessions. He performed on Friday nights and Sunday afternoons. Or at least that was what it said on the bar’s website. As far as I knew, he hadn’t released any new music and I hadn’t heard from him since he opened the bar a few years ago. He’d sent me an invitation to the opening, but we were on tour. I emailed to let him know and that had been the end of it.
Did I forgive him for abandoning us? After Maw Maw died, Landry called him, asking for help. The house was falling down around us, and Maw Maw had exactly $177.56 in her bank account. Not even enough to cover the cost of a funeral. She’d never made a lot of money but whatever she’d made had gone into raising us. Rhett said he was sorry, but he was living in a one-bedroom apartment and money was tight. In other words, he didn’t lift a finger to help us. So no, I couldn’t forgive him.
I didn’t know why I was thinking about this now as I walked over to the barn to meet Brody and Noah. I guess when you saw a good father in action, it made you realize all the more how shitty your own had been.
Brody was lifting Noah onto the saddle of the tan horse with a black mane. It was the first horse I’d led out of the pasture the other day and Brody had told me she was gentle, but still. That horse was big, and Noah looked so small sitting on its back.
“Wow. That’s a big horse for a little guy.”
Noah scoffed, taking offense to that. “I’m not little. I’m six.” He made a muscle. “You see that? I’ve got big muscles.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from laughing. His arms were small and thin with no sign of a muscle, but I nodded seriously. “I can see that. Almost as big as your dad’s.”
He nodded, appeased by my words, and gathered up the reins. Not the least bit daunted that the horse underneath him was tossing its head, he leaned over the horse’s neck and swatted away a fly then leaned back in the saddle, all chilled out and relaxed like he belonged up there on that big old horse.
“Can I go now?” he asked Brody.
“Hold on to your horses.”
Noah cracked up over that one. He was laughing so hard I moved to his side, ready to catch him if he fell off the horse. “Get it? Hold your horses.” He cracked up all over again and kept repeating it, trying to mimic Brody’s deep voice, which had me laughing along with him.
“Ready, Viv?”
I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans. “Um.... I don’t know.”
“Come on.” Noah waved his hand. “It’s lots of fun. You’ll see.”
“Come here.” Brody jerked his head toward a chestnut horse, and I went to stand by him.
“Just relax. I won’t let anything happen to you.” I nodded, believing him. He told me to stroke the horse so we could get acquainted which I did.
“What’s her name?”
“Hail Mary.”
“Oh Lord. Should I say my prayers?”
He laughed. “Come on. I’ll give you a leg up.” It only dawned on me then that he’d already had the horse saddled and waiting for me as if he knew I’d show up even though I hadn’t texted back to say I’d be here. Maybe I should have been annoyed at his presumption, but I wasn’t.
He gave me a leg up and instructed me to swing my right leg over the saddle. When I was sitting on the horse, he adjusted the length of the stirrups then wrapped his hand around my calf and looked up at me. “You good?”
I nodded then looked at the reins. “How do I hold them?”
He took the reins and positioned my hands to show me how to hold them. “We’re just going to take it nice and easy.” He glanced at Noah then lowered his voice. “Noah’s not ready to do much more than walk and trot and these horses will follow me, okay?”
I nodded. “Okay. What else do I need to know?”
“Relax your hands, sit up straight, and go with the rhythm of the horse. You’ve got nothing to worry about. We’re just taking a nice gentle trail ride. Smile and enjoy the scenery.”
I smiled, and he returned it.
Two minutes later, he led us out of the barn, and I didn’t have to do a thing. My horse followed Noah’s horse. I took a few deep breaths and tried to relax. After about ten minutes, I got used to the rhythm of the horse—mostly—and started to enjoy the ride. Until Brody turned in his saddle and asked if we were ready to trot. No surprise that Noah punched the air, excited about the prospect. I wasn’t the least bit excited.
Had I nodded? Had I given the impression that I was up for it? Looks like I had no choice because my horse broke into a trot and shit, that hurt. What could possibly be relaxing or enjoyable about bouncing around in a hard saddle while I held onto the saddle horn for dear life. Was this just a trot? It felt like my horse was running.
How did guys handle this? Didn’t their dicks and balls take a beating?
Brody’s laughter reached my ears. Shit. Had I said that out loud?
“Roll with it, Shy,” he called back.
“Who’s Shy?” Noah piped up.
Oh God. I hated lying to this little boy. My life was built on lies. “It’s Viv’s nickname,” Brody said, saving me from having to answer.
Noah nodded, accepting it as a fact because his dad had said so and Bro
dy had probably never lied to his son.
Chapter Thirteen
Shiloh
My butt was sore, my thighs were burning, and I nearly fell on the ground at Brody’s feet when he helped me out of the saddle. He caught my arms to steady me, barely suppressing his amusement. “Whoa there, girl.”
“I’m good. Just have to find my sea legs.”
He chuckled. “It’s a good workout. Good practice,” he added.
“Good practice for what?”
He leaned in close and whispered into my ear. “For riding a cowboy.” He winked and gave my sore ass a smack. Great. Now he had me thinking about riding a cowboy. I bet he was good with ropes.
I looked over at Noah, worried that he’d overheard or could read my dirty thoughts. He was playing with Buster, rolling around on the ground with the dog and laughing, not paying any attention to the adults. Brody just grinned and pulled the saddle off my horse then carried it to the tack room.
After we’d groomed the horses, Brody led them into their stalls, and I wandered over to Cayenne to check on her.
She looked restless and was trying to scratch her stomach with her back hoof. Was that normal?
A few minutes later, Brody joined me. “Is she okay?” Now she was rubbing her backside against the side of the stall.
“She’s fine. Pretty sure she’s gonna drop her foal tonight.”
“Tonight? Did you call the vet? Do you have to take her somewhere?”
“I’ve delivered a lot of foals. The only reason to call the vet is if something goes wrong. But this is her third foal. She’ll be just fine.”
“She has two other babies? Where are they?”
“They’re not babies anymore. I sold them.”
“You sold her babies? How could you do that to her?”
“I don’t do this as a hobby, Shy. I need to make money at it.”
“It just seems so mean to separate them.”
“I don’t kick them out as soon as they’re born. I wait until they’re weaned.” I gave him a skeptical look.
“What’s that look for?”
I shrugged and looked at Cayenne again. “It just sounds like it goes against everything you believe in.”
“I’ve got my own moral compass and my own convictions. If you’ve got a problem with that, too bad. If I don’t make money, I can’t afford to rescue horses. I wouldn’t expect you to give your music away for free. It might be your passion but it’s still a job, and you’ve gotta accept the bad with the good, just like anything else.”
I nodded, hearing the logic in his words. “I know. You’re right. It’s just... it’s kind of sad.” My gaze returned to Cayenne. I was taking this too personally and I knew it.
“It’s the same as letting your kids go out in the world to find themselves once they get old enough to leave home. You can’t hang onto them forever.”
I turned my head to find him watching my face, searching for something. “I know.” I forced a smile. “How else do you make your money?”
“Training horses. Starting colts and fillies. Gentling wild horses. And I work with a lot of ‘problem’ horses.” He used air quotes for problem. “The horses are never the problem. It always goes back to the owners.”
“Daddy Jude!” Noah’s voice interrupted our conversation and I turned to look at the man who had just walked into the barn. Wow. So this was Lila’s husband. These McCallister boys sure were easy on the eye. I’d expected him to look more like Brody, but they looked nothing alike.
“Hey buddy. Looks like you had some ice cream.”
Brody left me by the stall and strode over to them. “I would have driven him home.” He crossed his arms over his chest.
“Thought I’d save you the trip. You’re always bitching and moaning about how busy you are.”
“I don’t bitch and moan.”
I laughed. “Sure you don’t.”
Brody shot me a look as I joined them. Jude laughed. “Looks like she knows you already.” His gaze landed on me and he smiled. Like Levi, his eyes were blue, and his hair was chestnut brown. He was a couple inches taller than Brody and had to be at least 6’3” with broad shoulders and sculpted muscles. “I’m Jude.”
“Nice to meet you. I’m—”
“This is Shy Viv,” Noah said.
We all laughed but Noah scowled, not catching the joke. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing.” Brody lifted Noah off the ground and hugged him goodbye. “I’ll see you on Sunday.”
Why not Saturday?
“Okay. Love you Daddy.”
“Love you more.” He set Noah down and ruffled his hair. “Be good for your mommy.”
I noticed he didn’t mention Daddy Jude. Noah ran off with Buster and when he was out of earshot, Jude took me aside. “Listen. I know this is a shit thing to ask and I’d never normally do it. But for Lila, I’ll suck up my pride and ask.” He winced. “When the tickets went on sale for your concert in Austin, I tried to get tickets, but they sold out too fast.” He ran his hand through his disheveled brown hair. “Fuck. I’m sorry but I’m prepared to drop to my knees and beg if I have to.”
I laughed. “You don’t have to beg. It’s no problem. I’ll hook you up.”
He released a breath. “Yeah?”
“Yep. I can even get you backstage access.” I winked at him. “I know a few people.”
“You have no idea how happy this will make her. Won’t hurt my cause either.” He chuckled and rubbed hands together. “Pretty sure I’ll win the best Christmas present contest this year.”
“You’re such a shit.” Brody snorted with disgust. “She’s trying to lay low. Not be hounded by assholes looking for handouts.”
Jude held up his hands like he was innocent. “Hey. I did it in the name of love. The tickets are for Lila, not me. And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to make her happy.”
“History has proven otherwise,” Brody said.
Jude’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t start.”
“Not looking to start anything.” Brody had a surly look on his face and despite his casual demeanor, leaning against the horse stall, arms and ankles crossed, I could feel the tension. “Just speaking the truth.”
Jude pointed his finger at Brody. “You need to get the fuck over this. I apologized to you. I fucking thanked you for what you did for me. But why is it that every time I see you, I’m tempted to plant my fist in your face?”
“Feeling’s mutual.”
“Daddy Jude! Come on, I’m hungry. What’s taking you so long?”
Jude rolled out his shoulders and took a deep breath before releasing it. “I’m coming.” He turned his gaze on me. I felt like I shouldn’t have been standing there, witnessing any of this. “Sorry about that. And thanks. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around.”
I nodded once and gave him a smile then watched him stride away before I turned to look at Brody. His eyes were hooded, and he ran a hand through his hair. “Don’t say it.”
“What do you think I was going to say?”
“That I’m an asshole. And you’d be right.”
“Brody...” I took a few steps closer to him. “I don’t think you’re an asshole. I mean, sometimes yeah...” He huffed out a laugh and looked down at his scuffed boots. “But that... what just happened with Jude... my brother Landry and I have done the same thing about a million times. Different set of issues, obviously, but that’s how it is with family sometimes. You expect better from them. You hold them up to a higher standard because you care so damn much about each other. From where I’m standing, you and Jude are typical brothers. You love each other and would fight to the death for each other, but you don’t always like each other very much.”
He gripped my hips in his hands and walked me backward until my back hit the wall next to the barn door. I flattened my palms against the rough wood. “Where did you come from, Shiloh?” He moved his hand next to my head and used the other one to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear then kissed
the sensitive spot just below it. “Why are you making excuses for me?”
“I don’t know.” My voice came out in a whisper. Lifting my hand to his face, I cupped his cheekbone and he leaned into my touch. “Maybe because I think you’re too hard on yourself. You’re only human, Brody.”
He kissed the corner of my mouth. “Damn. I hate it that you figured that out.”
I laughed a little, but my laughter got swallowed up by his kiss. It was different from our other kisses. Slow and easy, almost gentle, like he had all the time and the world, and his sole focus was on this kiss. He deepened the kiss and my body melted into his, my hands slowly exploring the hard muscles of his back and shoulders before sinking into his hair. He smelled like horses and leather and cedar and he tasted like a dream come true.
It’s him, Maw Maw. I found him. I knew it as surely as I knew my own name.
I rocked my hips, angling them just right against his erection. He groaned, the sound deep and guttural, and it reached deep into my core. I rocked my hips again. He slid his hand down my thigh to the back of my knee and lifted my leg then wrapped it around his waist, so his hard length hit the spot between my thighs. My clit was throbbing, and I was so wet, my panties were soaked.
God, I wanted him. I wanted him so fucking much. I pulled his head down to mine, clawing his scalp as our slow, gentle kiss turned frenzied and wild. If he wanted to fuck me against the barn door right this very minute, I’d let him.
Someone cleared their throat. “Sorry to interrupt,” a male voice said.
With a muttered curse, Brody released me and turned his back to me, blocking my view. “The hell do you want?”
The guy laughed. “Sorry to cockblock you ...”
“No, you’re not.”
“You’re right. I don’t give a shit. You told me to come over at five. Guess you lost track of time, huh?”
“Shit,” Brody said. “It’s five already?”
“Yup. You gonna help me load ‘em into the trailer or just leave me to my own devices?”
“I’ll take care of it.”
“Gonna introduce me to your friend, Bro-Bro?”