by Snow, Jenika
And when I said I’d lose my shit, I meant I’d cut her off, ignore her, treat her like a social outcast. She knew that. I could see it in her face, in the way her eyes widened slightly.
If she wanted to be a bitch that was fine, but talking shit about Stella was crossing a line. One I wouldn’t stand for.
Rachel huffed out, but I could see I’d set her straight. I didn’t care if you were a guy or a girl, if you talked shit about Stella, I was going to put you in your place.
“Well, just call me and let me know if you’re coming to Stanley’s.”
I just stood there and stared at her. I wasn’t surprised that obviously what I’d said went in one ear and out the other. She was focused on parties, social status, and nothing else.
Yeah, this shit with her was done.
Before I could respond, even if I would have, she ran up to some of her friends that had stepped inside the building. The girls started giggling, waving their phones around, and flipping their hair over their shoulders.
I headed back into the locker rooms, thinking about how different Stella was from the majority of the girls that we went to school with. She wasn’t superficial or conceited, and didn’t care about looks even though she was the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. Her intelligence was so attractive, yet I kept her on the friend level. It was best that way.
I was pretty sure it was anyway. She was too smart for me.
Sure, she had the librarian thing going on with her blue-framed reading glasses and her button-up cardigan, but that just endeared her to me even more.
My best friend.
That’s what she was to me, that’s what she’d always be to me. Through thick and thin. We’d always have each other’s backs.
Just friends.
3
Stella
I filed the last customer invoice for the night, the scent of motor oil perpetually filling my nostrils. I looked down at my shirt, a few grease stains smeared across the light-yellow material.
Perfect.
Then again, working in the body shop, all I had to do was lean against the counter and I had motor oil on me.
“Hey, Pete, I’m heading out for the night,” I said but knew he probably couldn’t hear me over the classic rock playing ear splitting loud, and the clanging of tools hitting the cement floor.
I grabbed my purse and headed out, the parking lot deserted except for a few cars from the guys who’d stayed back for some overtime. I had my bag slung over one shoulder, and twisted it around to reach inside for my keys. I felt the rough edges move against my fingertips and pulled them out. The crunch of gravel underneath my shoes was loud as I made my way toward my car.
The sound of footsteps behind me had me stopping and looking over my shoulder. I saw Ryan, Pete’s new lead mechanic, heading toward his truck. He had a cigarette in his mouth, the end already lit and burning orange as he inhaled. “’Night, Ryan.”
He tipped his chin in my direction, continuing to head toward his truck, his focus on me the whole time.
Once in the car, I started the engine then looked out the driver side window. Ryan still watched me, and when our gazes clashed, he smiled. He placed the cigarette back between his lips, inhaled until the end burned brightly, then exhaled slowly. Smoke filled the interior of his truck.
I knew Cannon wouldn’t like Ryan, not with the way he looked at me, not with the way he was like Pete with wandering eyes, or the filthy shit I heard them all talking about in the back of the garage when they thought I wasn’t around.
What they did to the girl they’d fucked that last weekend, how they were going after their friend, who was even hotter and probably “sluttier.” The way Ryan and some of the guys talked about women was disgusting, obscene, and downright degrading.
But I was there to work. Nothing more, nothing less. Maybe him checking me out should have had red flags going up, especially after all the nasty things I heard him talking about, but the truth was a guy looking at me didn’t happen very often, so maybe that’s why I was oblivious to the dangers of that.
I pulled out of the parking lot, heading toward Cannon’s place. It was well after eight, later than I’d originally planned. I had my backpack with all the books sitting on the passenger’s side seat, ready for a night filled with studying.
Although Cannon was insanely smart, he did struggle with social studies. Then again, it wasn’t the most entertaining subject for some people, and Cannon was one of them. If he failed this class, which was how it was looking if I didn’t help, the threat of him being benched during games had him working his ass off to do better.
I admired that about him. When Cannon set his mind to something, he followed through with it until the very end.
Ten minutes later I was pulling into his driveway, cutting off the engine, and just sitting there for a moment. I grabbed my cell and sent a reminder text to my mom that I was at Cannon’s to study, knowing full well she’d probably forget. And that’s the last thing I needed ... my mom hysterically looking for me.
Then again, I wasn’t a single mom. I suppose that would make anyone overly protective.
After shoving the cell in my bag, I stared at the garage door. It was wide open, his mother’s car parked inside. I didn’t see his dad’s truck, but he was probably working late again.
I grabbed my bag and climbed out of the car, headed up the front steps. I didn’t bother knocking. Cannon’s family was like my own. I’d been over here just as much as I’d been at my house. His mom was like my second parent.
I closed the front door and instantly smelled the scent of dinner in the air ... maybe spaghetti, definitely garlic bread.
“Hello?” I called out and headed into the living room. The television was on, the volume low. I knew Cannon’s mom kept it on as background noise, and for “company.”
The volume was muted so the sound of pots and pans banging in the kitchen was loud and clear. I followed the noise until I stood in the entryway. Megan, Cannon’s mother, stood by the sink washing a few dishes. Despite the fact I still smelled dinner in the air, the table was cleaned off, and there was a stack of drying plates and cups sitting in the strainer.
“Hey,” I said. She looked over her shoulder at me and smiled.
Megan grabbed a rag off the counter, drying her hands as she walked up to me, her arms outstretched. “Hi, sweetheart.” She gave me a hug, the smile still in place.
“Cannon upstairs?” I pulled back, the remainders of water from her damp hands dotting my arms. “I’m here to help him study.”
“I think he’s in his room, or in the basement playing video games.” She headed back toward the sink. “Are you hungry? There’s leftovers from dinner.”
“No thanks. I ate before work tonight.” I waved as I left the kitchen.
I headed downstairs first, opening up the basement door and listening to see if I could hear either video games, or Cannon cursing at said games. Although the light was on, I didn’t hear anything.
I shut the door and headed upstairs. When I got to the top landing, I walked down the hallway, seeing that Cannon’s door was partially shut. I pushed it open slightly and stood there for a moment, staring at him as he sat on the edge of his bed, his cell in hand, this focused expression on his face.
He had yet to know I was there, too focused on the message he was sending. I took a step forward, a floorboard creaking. He lifted his head and glanced over at me. That focused expression instantly left as a big grin covered his face.
“Hey,” he said. “I was just about to call you and see if you were close.”
I stepped fully inside and tossed my bag on his bed, sitting on the edge of the mattress. “Yeah, sorry. I would’ve been here sooner but I wanted to finish up filing some paperwork before I left.” I looked down at his cell. “Pretty intense texting there,” I teased and gently pushed my shoulder against his. He chuckled softly and shut off his phone, tossing it behind him on the mattress.
“No, just getting anno
yed with everyone texting me about the party coming up.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t have any knowledge of that.”
I never got invited to parties, which was probably a good thing because I’d be completely out of place anyways.
I didn’t say anything, but I could feel Cannon watching me. I looked up from my lap and he smiled, pushing his shoulder gently against mine now.
“Well, you’re not missing anything,” he said but I knew he was lying.
“You’re a horrible liar, Cannon.”
His smile widened and he shook his head. “No, I mean it. The parties that I’ve gone to have sucked. You know why?”
I stared into his blue eyes and shook my head.
“They sucked because you weren’t there.”
I felt my cheeks heat. Yeah, he’d asked me to go with him every time, but the truth was, I felt out of place, uncomfortable. Even if I wanted to hang out with him, going to one of those drunken, sloppy high school parties didn’t really seem like something I’d want to do.
Right?
Yeah. Right.
So I declined every time, but I did wonder what he was doing, how many girls had been hitting on him ... how many girls he’d been with.
Although that was none of my business. But I couldn’t help the thoughts that came to mind. They played like this uncomfortable movie on repeat, over and over again. I shook my head, trying to clear those thoughts.
His cell chimed with a text and we both glanced behind us. I narrowed my eyes when I saw it was from Rachel.
I faced forward just as he went to pick it up. I could hear him texting hear, the little click, click, click that settled in my stomach like this heavy rock.
Maybe I wouldn’t feel this way if he wasn’t hanging out with such a bitch. But a part of me thought that I might still feel like this, that it didn’t matter who it was. If Cannon was hanging out with any girl, I’d probably be sour about it.
I guess I just had expectations of who he should be with, and so far the girls I’d seen him hanging around weren’t good enough.
“It’ll make you happy to know that I told Rachel I wasn’t really into hanging out with her anymore.”
I sat up straight and looked over at him. “You did? Like, right now?” He nodded and tossed the phone back on the bed.
“Yeah, she’s been texting me all night about this party after I told her I was studying with you.”
I placed my hands flat on the mattress behind me and leaned back a little. “I’m glad you finally realized how obnoxious she is.” He stared at me for long moments, this strange expression on his face.
“Well, when she started talking shit about you, I knew that was it. I don’t want that bullshit in my life.”
I wasn’t even fazed that she’d been talking shit about me. The side-eyed glares she gave me daily told me she wasn’t very fond of me. Well, it was mutual.
“Anyone who says anything bad about you is not somebody I want to be associated with.”
I smiled and felt my cheeks become hotter. I really did love how protective he was of me.
“If she’d been a guy saying things about you, I would have kicked their ass.”
I felt so flustered all of a sudden. I straightened again and reached for my bag, needing something to do because the way he watched me made me feel all kinds of things I probably shouldn’t. Clearing my throat as I grabbed several books out of my backpack, I set them between us and shifted on the mattress so I could face him.
“I hope you’re ready to study?”
He stared at me for a prolonged moment before finally falling back on the bed and exhaling. His T-shirt rode up a little bit, showing me a swatch of his golden abdomen, the defined abs underneath the material visible and in stark display.
I licked my lips and looked away, staring at the boring as hell textbooks between us.
“Gonna be honest, I don’t want to study, but I know I need to. No way in hell I’m going to be benched because of failing a fucking class.”
I glanced up again. “Could be worse. You could’ve gotten kicked off the team for flunking.”
He rubbed his hand over his eyes and groaned. “Yeah, but they’re not gonna kick me off the team. They need me too damn much. Coach has been on my ass to bring my grade up, even telling me about all this extra tutoring he wants to set up. I finally told him you’re helping me and that things will be fine.” He pushed himself up and looked at the books.
“Wow, that’s a lot of pressure for a girl like me.” I chuckled awkwardly. “But you’re really smart, Cannon. You’ll pass the class no problem.”
“I have full faith in you, Stella. You’re the smartest fucking girl I know.”
And of course, there went my damn cheeks again, my face probably redder than a cherry tomato.
For the next hour we worked on social studies, went over the wars, the revolutions, the rises and falls of empires, how society handled it all as a whole. By the end of our study session, I felt like I could’ve aced his test.
I closed the books and exhaled, looking at him expectantly. “So you think you got this?”
He ran a hand over the back of his head. “I think I got this,” he finally said. “At least I hope I do.” He chuckled.
I reached for one of the books at the same time he did, our hands brushing together and this shock of electricity slammed into me. “Sorry,” I murmured and pulled my hand away a little too fast.
“Sorry,” he said as well, this awkward little laugh in his voice.
I shoved my books in my bag. “I should probably get home. My mom starts to get a little worried, even when she knows I’m over here.” I glanced at him. “You know how she is.” I stood.
He nodded and stood as well. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
We left his room and I saw his mom’s bedroom door partially closed, the lights off but the glow from the TV peeking through the crack. Cannon took my bag from me and I looked over my shoulder to smile my thanks.
Once outside and standing by my car, I took the backpack from him and tossed it on the passenger seat. “Listen, if you need to study this weekend, let me know. I’d rather drill it until it’s boring than you not understand and all this studying be wasted.” He stood there in just a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt, his hands shoved in the front pockets of his jeans, his feet bare.
God, he looked good with all that raw power on display. Who knew a guy could be so attractive in just a pair of distressed jeans and a worn-in shirt?
“It’s not like I have anything going on this weekend anyway,” I said softly, awkwardly for some reason. He smiled and I felt myself grow loose, a little nervous even.
His short blond hair was messy around his head, an after product of him running his fingers through it during our studying.
“Do you actually want to hang out with my dumb ass and help me study?” He gave me a lopsided smile and my heart jumped in my throat.
I grew serious, all those strange but wonderful feelings I was starting to have leaving. “You’re not dumb,” I said genuinely. “You don’t give yourself enough credit. Look at all the other classes that you’re acing. Look at all the other stuff you excel at. You’re smart, Cannon. You’re really smart.” The air around us grew thick at this moment becoming a little more serious than I had anticipated.
He cleared his throat as if my words had caught him off guard.
We stood there and stared at each other, and I felt my emotions start to turn into something deeper, more alive for him. They had started off slow and easy, but were now racing toward the finish line.
I wondered what it would be like to be with him, be with him in more ways than study buddies, than a confidant.
I wondered what it would be like to be more than just friends.
4
Cannon
I caught the ball and stood there. I should have been looking for Landon, our wide receiver and passing the ball off to him, should have been focused on this fucking game.
But my mind was not on practice. Even though I heard the sound of Coach yelling plays, something he only did during practice for obvious reasons, I still wasn’t focused.
The only thing I could think about was Stella.
How in that moment as we stood by her car and I stared into her eyes, heard her say how I wasn’t stupid, the scent of her had filled my head, making me drunk. She’d talked about things that would otherwise have bored the hell out of me, but she somehow made it interesting as fuck. Or maybe it was just because it was her there with me, speaking, spending time with me?
Maybe it was the fact she was the only person I knew who would be by my side no matter what. If I wasn’t the quarterback, popular, or had the high school status I had, she’d still have my back. Stella would always be there for me and that meant more to me than anything else I went through in life.
All I could think about was her.
Someone tackled me from behind, propelling my body forward and slamming me face first into the field. The air was knocked out of me, the football flying out of my hands. The heavy weight of a team member behind me, pushing me into the ground, had me snapping into focus. A second later, he rolled off me.
I could hear Coach bitching about how I wasn’t focused, wasn’t paying attention.
I stayed there, though, breathing heavily, this ringing in my ears, my head feeling fuzzy. I rolled over and stared at the sky, blinking a few times.
“What the hell, Cannon?” Coach yelled out and I pushed myself up. “Where were you? Clearly not having your damn head in the game.”
I stood and looked over at Coach, seeing the anger and annoyance on his face. He gestured for me to sit my ass on the bench, and I pulled my helmet off as I started making my way over there. It was best that I wasn’t practicing right now, not when all I could think about was Stella and how I’d been so fucking blind all these years.