by Snow, Jenika
Although I’d always noticed how gorgeous and smart she was, how she’d make some guy really happy, I really started to feel what jealousy was like. And it was eating at me like a fucking parasite.
I didn’t know when it had happened exactly, maybe when she’d helped me study and I realized how incredible she was. Or maybe it was before then. Maybe it was when I realized she was so unlike the girls I hung around with, how she was so ... genuine.
It had been like someone had slapped me across the face, like this lightbulb had gone off. I’d started comparing every other girl I met in my life to Stella, and each and every one of them fell short.
I started thinking about it all and how much time I’d wasted, how she could’ve been mine this whole time.
I sat my ass down on the bench and ran my hand over my hair, the short strands damp. My mouth guard hung from my helmet, which I’d placed beside me, that little piece of rubber swaying as it hung over the edge of the bench.
Shit, I needed to have my head in the game, in practice. I should be focusing on my team, on the plays, hell, on the fucking game coming up.
But I couldn’t.
I was confused. Consumed.
Because all I wanted to do was explore these feelings for Stella and see where they led.
5
Stella
I sat in the courtyard, my legs stretched out in front of me, students either sitting down like me, or hustling to the next class. I had a free period toward the end of the day, an hour that I usually just wasted in the library studying, but today I decided to actually get some sun on my pale-ass legs.
My jean skirt rode up my thighs, my legs were crossed at the ankle, and I let out a small moan of approval at the feel of the sun on my skin.
I rested my hands behind me and leaned back, a slight breeze picking up, the leaves in the tree beside me moving and casting shadows along the ground, showing intermittent swatches of light from the sun peeking through.
Right about now Cannon was in his final class for the day before getting ready for football practice, and all I could think about was going to the field after school, maybe even letting myself explore what I was starting to feel a little bit more as I watched him in his element.
I tipped my head back slightly and closed my eyes, the grass beneath my fingers soft, plush. I was just starting to relax when a noise as obnoxious as nails on a chalkboard filled my head.
Rachel’s voice.
I opened my eyes and exhaled, that little moment of peace I felt instantly erased. But then again, there was a little piece of pleasure at the knowledge she was probably extremely pissed at the fact Cannon had cut ties with her.
For a girl like Rachel, that was as bad as it could get. The most popular guy in school, star quarterback, paying you no attention anymore. Yeah, it had to be a blow to her ego for sure.
I saw her talking to one of her friends, both of them heading right toward me, Rachel’s focus on her phone. I hated that I was jealous of her in any capacity, but it wasn’t about her looks, popularity, or the money I knew her family had.
It wasn’t about any of that. What made me jealous was the fact she had Cannon’s attention. I didn’t know what they’d done together, if they’d kissed ... if they’d gone further. I didn’t want to know that.
It wasn’t even about any of those things. It was just the simple fact that he paid any attention to her. And the selfish part of me wanted to be the only girl who had that with him. It was most definitely selfish, maybe even a little bit childish, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t change how I felt, how I saw things.
I couldn’t stop what I was starting to feel.
And dammit if it hadn’t snuck up on me and took me down fast and hard.
They got closer and I idly thought that if I stayed quiet and made myself as small as possible, Rachel wouldn’t even notice me. I wasn’t in the mood for her pettiness.
But of course, she’d noticed me. She always noticed me, so I was prepared for the venom she spit my way.
She looked up from her phone and our gazes clashed. I refused to look away. I refused to act submissive in front of her. She and I might be on separate ends of the spectrum, but that didn’t mean I was going to let her intimidate me because she was pissy she didn’t get her way with Cannon.
She narrowed her eyes and I kept my expression stoic. I thought maybe she’d walk right by, maybe mutter something under her breath to her friend about me, but she surprised me by stopping just a few feet from where I sat.
I didn’t move, just waited for her to say whatever she needed to say, maybe blame me for what had happened with Cannon. Because although it wasn’t really that big of a deal if you thought about it, to somebody like Rachel, someone who always wanted to go the extra step, to seem better than everyone else, the situation with Cannon was probably pretty devastating to her.
“Sitting all alone again?” She smirked but it looked more like a sneer.
I didn’t answer and that seemed to piss her off even more. She pursed her lips and straightened her shoulders, looking down at me, literally and figuratively. “Don’t think I didn’t know you had something to do with Cannon.”
I still stayed silent for a moment. That was the best form of action where she was concerned. That’s what really got under her skin.
I tipped my head to the side and sat up straighter, shrugging. “What do you mean?” She pursed her lips. “I don’t know the ins and outs of what Cannon does or doesn’t do.” I could feel the tension between us rising. I might not be “cool” like her, might not have a lot of friends, family money, or even drive a luxury car that my daddy bought, but I had integrity, a backbone. I could give as well as I got, especially where she was concerned.
“I’m not sure why Cannon hangs out with you.” She looked at her friend. “I just don’t get it.”
“Yeah, crazier things have happened, I’m sure.”
She placed a hand on her hip and cocked it out. “So where is Cannon right now? I need to talk to him.”
I stood up and wiped the grass off my skirt before bending down and grabbing my bag. I knew this conversation wasn’t going to get any better, so the best thing I could do was just leave. Because Rachel was like a vulture. She’d keep picking and picking until there were just bones left.
“I’m not his keeper, Rachel. I assume he’s in class.” I smiled, not one that was genuine, but one that told her she wasn’t getting under my skin as much as she thought she was.
I turned and started walking away, but not before I heard her call out, “You know he’s not into girls like you.”
I don’t know why I hadn’t assumed she’d place one more nail in the coffin.
I clenched my teeth together but didn’t turn around. Because the truth was she was right. Cannon wasn’t into girls like me.
6
Cannon
I ran backwards a few steps, reared my arm back, and threw the ball to the wide receiver. Since last practice I tried to focus on what I needed to, but it was damn hard when the only thing consuming my thoughts was Stella and all the things I wanted to explore with her.
Things that were really fucking not in the friend-zone.
But shit, that was dangerous territory. That was crossing a line that could potentially ruin everything between us. And I needed her in my life. I wanted her there. So the fact that me acting on my feelings could fuck things up didn’t sit well with me.
It made me realize staying just friends was exactly how it should be.
We did a few more plays, Coach getting on our asses because the game was coming up against Charlton. After another twenty minutes, he blew the whistle, ending practice.
I started heading toward the field house with the other guys.
I already had my helmet off, sweat beading down my temples, when I glanced up and saw Stella standing by the bleachers, her backpack sitting beside her feet.
My heart instantly plummeted to my stomach, but I grinned and jogged over there, n
ot about to let it be known that I was starting to feel things for her.
“Hey,” I said and stopped when I was a few feet from where she stood.
“Hi.” She reached down and grabbed a bottle of water from her bag, handing it to me.
“Thanks.” I took the bottle, our fingers brushing, my heart racing from that small touch. But I was good at keeping my shit together. At least I thought I was. Things were getting all turned around now.
I downed the bottle as I watched her. She stared at the field where the guys were still standing, some of them heading to the shower, others bullshitting.
She had her long blond hair in a ponytail, the ends a little bit curly, the wind blowing and moving the strands along the side of her neck. I kept drinking that bottle of water, the action giving me something to do as I stared at her.
I couldn’t take my eyes off of her for the life of me.
She started talking about Rachel, how it was clear she was pissy about me cutting ties with her. But then everything else faded away as I grew mesmerized by her, watching as her mouth moved, her lips full and pink.
Her profile was perfect, delicate and feminine. Little wisps of hair moved along her temples and forehead, her hair so light blond it reminded me of spun gold.
Damn, look at me getting all cheesy and shit with how I thought about Stella.
I finished off the bottle and pulled it away from my mouth, continuing to watch her. She looked over at me, still speaking, but her words falling on deaf ears. All I could hear was this buzzing in my head and the sound of my heart racing in my ears.
Her eyes were so blue they actually had me reaching out and grabbing one of the benches to steady myself. How could I have never noticed how beautiful she was? How had I never noticed how bright her eyes were?
I watched the way her eyebrows dipped in confusion, and it was only then that the noise came rushing back to me. I could hear the guys shouting in the distance, heard Coach’s booming voice. I heard the wind blowing around us.
“Cannon? Did you hear anything I said?”
I could hear crunching, realized it was me as I held the bottle and squeezed it in my hand.
“Yeah, I heard you.”
She lifted an eyebrow and I could tell she didn’t believe me, but she didn’t press it.
“Okay, well are you good then?”
I cleared my throat and tossed the now crumpled water bottle into the trashcan beside her. “Oh yeah, I’m good. You’re good?” My voice sounded thick.
She snorted and shook her head. “You didn’t hear one word I said, did you?”
I gave her a smirk and lifted one shoulder. “I didn’t, I’m sorry. What’s up? You have my full attention.”
She smiled and shook her head and I refrained from lifting my hand and placing it over my heart, that organ hurting instantly.
“Are you good with social studies?”
I nodded. “I think I’m pretty good with it.”
“Because if you’re not, I can always come by after work. I’m at the body shop the next few days, but I can swing by afterward, or we can study during our free hour in the library.” She reached out and grabbed her backpack off the ground, slipping the straps through her arms.
I stared at her hands as they wrapped around the nylon, her nails peeking out, pink paint adorning them and nearly having my cock standing at attention.
She was so vulnerable and innocent, so much more than myself. I’d experienced a lot in my short eighteen years, whereas Stella, not even eighteen yet, probably hadn’t even kissed a boy. Or if she had, she had never told me about it.
The very thought of her lips pressed against someone else’s had my blood racing, this rage filling me. I didn’t want her kissing anyone, didn’t want any other guy fucking touching her. That feeling, that anger and possessiveness was so powerful, I actually took a step back. What I felt was misplaced. I had no claim over her, no right to her. She was my best friend, that’s all she could be.
“I mean, I won’t say no if you wanna come over and hang out.” I ran my hands over my thighs. God, I probably looked like a nervous fucking asshole right now. But she seemed oblivious to it, which was a blessing, I suppose.
“Study at your place again?”
“Or we can go to your house. Hell, we can go to Charlie’s Chocolate Shop if you want.” She looked at me like I’d grown two heads, and at the moment I felt like I had.
“Wait, you actually want to go to Charlie’s?”
Truth was I hated fucking Charlie’s, a little rundown diner with shitty cheeseburgers and watered-down milkshakes located right outside of town. It was where a lot of kids from school went, mainly because the owner, Charlie from Russia, was seedy as fuck and looked the other way where underage drinking and smoking pot behind the building was concerned.
But despite the freedom a lot of kids got by hanging out there, it wasn’t a place that I typically wanted to go. But if Stella wanted to go, I’d be the first one there with her.
“I mean, if you want to go there, I’m game.”
She continued to stare at me. “Who are you and what have you done with Cannon?” She chuckled and shook her head. “First, you ditch Rachel, which by the way was probably one of the best decisions you’ve ever made, if I say so myself.” She grinned. “But now, you’re offering to go to Charlie’s, a place you never wanted to go, because, and I quote, ‘It’s dirty and Charlie probably jerks off in the milkshakes.’”
I laughed, but it sounded awkward.
I lifted my hand and rubbed the back of my head, not sure what to say. It wasn’t about what she’d said, but the fact all I could think about was Stella and how good she looked right now.
Just then, I heard Stella’s phone going off. She took her bag off and grabbed her cell out of the front pocket. She looked at the screen. “It’s my mom,” she said, a little exasperated. “I swear the older she gets, the more paranoid she is I’m gonna get kidnapped.” She typed out a text then shoved her phone back in her backpack and looked up at me, the sun hitting her blue eyes and making them almost glow.
“She’s just looking out for you,” I said low, my voice thick. “I can relate to those feelings.” She smiled shyly and looked away.
“Well, I wouldn’t want you to get kidnapped either.”
She grinned, flashing me straight, white teeth. She proceeded to pull her bottom lip between them, gently nibbling it. It took everything in me to hold back the groan that was about to spill.
“Listen, I better get going. Text me if you want me to swing by. I really don’t mind helping you study.” I nodded and before I could move or say anything, she lifted her hand in a wave and started walking away.
I sure as hell shouldn’t have looked down and stared at her ass, sure as fuck shouldn’t have envisioned pushing her up against the side of the field house, pulling up her little jean skirt, and sinking down to my knees.
God, the images that slammed into my head of me on my knees before her, of the things I’d do to her, had my cock growing hard against my uniform.
Shit, I was in so fucking deep.
7
Cannon
I sat on the couch with my legs kicked up on the coffee table, Tristan right beside me cursing as we played a first-person shooter game he’d brought over.
“Look at this asshole,” Tristan shouted at the screen.
I was shot in the center of the forehead and Tristan groaned and looked at me. “What the fuck, dude?”
I set my controller on the couch beside me, stood, and headed over to the mini fridge that was set up in the corner. After grabbing a bottle of water, I drank it as I watched Tristan set up another game.
“Dude, did I tell you Rani Clarkson totally backed her ass up against my dick the other day?” Tristan leaned back and put his feet on the coffee table. “It was totally not accidental either. She looked over her shoulder at me and winked.” He grinned. “I kind of feel like a fucking pig for popping a boner, but dude,” he sai
d and looked over at me. “She’s so damn hot. Smart too. She’s not like the other chicks that walk the halls like they own the place. She doesn’t have her shirt so low her tits are pushed up to her chin.” He started playing the game. “You know what I mean. The chicks that have their skirts short enough that when they bend over, you can see what color underwear they’re wearing.” He shook his head. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that, because believe me, I’ve had my fair share of that type of female. But—” He shrugged one shoulder. “Maybe I’m seeing things more clearly in my old age.”
“Your old age?” I said and went back over to the couch, sitting down beside him and setting the water bottle on the table. “You’re being kind of extra, aren’t you?” I jabbed.
Tristan shrugged. “Maybe. But you know the girls at school are petty and jealous, and so overdone it’ll be like coyote ugly if you wake up next to them one morning. I mean, you got smart and broke up with Rachel.”
“Rachel and I were never a thing. We were never dating.” I said those words pretty harshly, because the thought of anyone thinking I’d been with Rachel left a bad taste in my mouth. I was punching the keys of the controller a little too hard, taking my aggression out on it. “Besides, who the hell told you all that?”
“Dude, you know news like that travels fast.” I could feel his gaze on me. “And you guys weren’t dating?”
I shook my head. “Fuck no.”
“Huh. I guess I assumed since you guys were hanging out.”
“Going to parties and getting drunk is not dating.”
“Hopefully at least you fucked her before ditching her.”