TORN: A Rockstar Romance (Wreckage Book 4)

by Lux, Vivian

  He rested his hand on the top of my head for a moment, and I heard his quick, indrawn breath. I glanced up at him. "I'm just inexperienced," I told him. "I'm not innocent ."

  He laughed. "I think you're pretty innocent ."

  "Are you trying to make me prove otherwise ?"

  "Maybe?"

  This time it was my turn to laugh. I leaned forward. Oh god , my mind screamed a second before my lips brushed that wide head .

  It was silky. Soft. Skin like satin. I laughed, letting it brush against my cheek. "It feels so nice!" I crowed in delight .

  "Um, same here," Hudson groaned. He seemed to want to put his hands on my head, and guide me, but he was also holding back, so I reached up and caught his hands in mine. He squeezed them tight as I slid his cock into my mouth .

  I'd always assumed that it would be degrading. To be on your knees, sliding a man's cock between your lips, servicing him like that. But as I slowly began to move my head, slipping that silky soft skin past my lips, all I felt was power. I had him trembling. I was in control; I was the one making him groan, louder and louder. I was the one who wrapped my fist around the base of his dick and began to move it in time with my lips, moving up and down in one smooth motion in a way he seemed to really like, because he collapsed forward, bracing his palms on the bed. I slid forward further, feeling the muscles in his sculpted ass quiver with the strain of holding back. In a rush of power, I slid my hands up to his hips and moved them for him, letting him arch into me, thrusting deeper and deeper into my throat .

  With a roar, he suddenly pulled back, gasping. "You're going to make me come ."

  "I want you to come," I said, suddenly eager for precisely that. "I want to...know what you taste like ."

  "Jesus, you're going to be the death of me. Soon. If that's what you really want, I'm sure I can see my way to making it happen for you. But now I want to fuck you, Lulu ."

  "I'm on the pill," I said, leaning back and spreading for him. I was suddenly eager for it. My body, having only felt him once, seemed to remember everything about what we'd done together and I was trembling to do it again .

  "I'm still using this anyway," he chuckled, holding up the condom. "Brand new ."

  I snorted. "You thought you were getting lucky here in Italy ?"

  "Oh I think I'm very lucky. I have the best girl and the best job and the best life I could want. I'm the luckiest sonofabitch the state of Texas ever sent forth ."

  I laughed as he slid his arms under me, pulling me tight. For a moment he just held me, his blond head nuzzled to my chest, his nose against my neck. He pushed up onto his elbow, and his eyes darted back and forth, watching me. When he saw whatever it was he was looking for, he braced himself. I felt the brush of his cock past my entrance, teasing me as I hissed and arched towards him. He slid his sheathed cock up so that is slid against my folds past my clit. "Oh you like that," he murmured, bending to my neck again .

  "I like it better when you put it inside of me," I grumbled .

  "Greedy," he chided, sliding across me again .

  "Hudson!"

  "Yes, sweetheart ?"

  "Bloody, put your cock in me, for fuck's sake !"

  He laughed. "Man does it turn me on when you get all British on me," he said, but he stopped teasing me, finally pressing against my pussy. I was so wet, so swollen and ready for him that he slipped inside of me with one precise movement of his hips .

  This time there was no burn, no hesitation. We fit together and once again I thought of the jigsaw puzzle. The missing piece .

  Hudson growled and bent to brush his lips past my breast as he began to move inside of me, short, slow strokes to get me going, but I was already gone. I clung to his back, wrapped my legs around his waist and tried to pull him as close to me as I could get him. Clawing, scrabbling, arching to touch him with every bit of me, I felt myself losing what little control I had left .

  "Fuck, Tallula." His voice was hoarse, ragged and I loved that he was losing control just like I was. And what's more I loved that he was letting me see him lose control. I kissed him, cupping his face to watch him go wild-eyed, his face contorted with strain and wonder .

  "Show me," I whispered .

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Hudson

  T here's a certain set of expectations that come with being the man. You hold back. You wait until she's had her fill. You go slowly, gently, let her get herself to where she needs to be in order for it to be good .

  With Tallula, I was trying to do it, I really was. But when she looked at me with her softly parted lips and wide eyes, kissed me and whispered, "Show me ..."

  I fucking lost it .

  If I was too rough, I couldn't help it. If I was too loud, there was no chance of being quiet. If I drove into her so fast it made her yelp and cling to me, I knew it was okay because she wanted me to show her what she did to me and this was it. Right here. I was a mad man. I was possessed. I was possessed with the need to possess her, to have her, all of her, that we'd been denying this whole time .

  She let out another one of her cries, the ones that drove me wild because they were so reckless and unimpeded. No one had ever told Tallula to keep it down, so she let it all out and that's what I loved about her. She was everything that I used to be before I put my walls up .

  My walls were crumbling, and crumbling fast. My walls were falling all around me in my own personal earthquake .

  She squeezed my ass cheek, pulling at me to drive into her harder. She didn't want gentle. She wanted to feel everything I could make her feel .

  She wasn't afraid of her feelings. And she gave me the courage to feel mine .

  And I loved her for that too .

  "I love you," I rasped into her neck. Purely in the moment. No thought. No worry about what she'd say back .

  It's what I was feeling right then and I wanted to say it .

  So I did .

  At that same moment, I felt her stiffen. The walls of her tight, perfect pussy fluttered against my cock and then suddenly squeezed. I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven in that moment as Tallula squeezed my cock tight. Blood roared in my ears and my sight grew dim at the edges and then suddenly I was coming right along with her, the both of us crying out and falling and clinging and kissing and yelling and then shuddering to stillness with only the sound of her gasping breath in my ears .

  "We're getting better at that," Tallula murmured, her lip brushing my ear .

  I laughed and held her tighter. "Secret is to keep practicing ."

  "I can live with that ."

  "I am so glad to hear that ."

  "Speaking of hearing." She pulled back and looked at me. "I heard you ."

  "You don't have to say it back," I said quickly. "It's a lot, I know ."

  "You know I can't ignore my feelings," she whispered, and suddenly her eyes were filled with tears. "I never do, but when it came to you, it fucking scared me so much that I did. And it hurt so bad trying to keep that secret, like I had to shove down a part of me. Like I was a jigsaw puzzle and I was missing a piece. I don't ever want to do that again." She kissed me, hard and sweet and fierce. "I love you too, Hudson ."

  I kissed her back and sighed against her lips, smiling, feeling like my heart might burst. "I love you Tallula. You make me better than I thought I could be ."

  She blinked again, watching me. "I love you. You make me feel complete." I gently extricated myself from her and rolled to the side, brushing my fingers up her stomach for a moment, then bending to kiss her sweet navel. "What do we do now?" she whispered as she stared at the ceiling .

  "I can think of
a few things," I said, sliding my hand between her legs .

  She swatted at me. "I love you. You love me. We love each other but that still doesn't really change things, does it ?"

  I blinked. "I feel like it does ."

  "You still have to tour. I still have to go back for classes ."

  "I'm willing to do long distance if you are ."

  "I am," she said fiercely. "But it also doesn't change the fact that Niall's going to hate this. And what does that do to you ?"

  I leaned over and kissed her. "How about you let me worry about that?" I told her. "Because once I tell him I love you, what can he do ?"

  She grimaced. "You're really ready to give it all up ?"

  I held her face so I was certain she heard me when I said, "I love you. I'm not giving up anything ."

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Tallula

  H e was insatiable.

  Turned out so was I .

  "I think I'm dying," I told him as he fell back to the side of the bed. The light outside the window was fading and my stomach growled audibly .

  Hudson smirked a little at my loud tummy, but only said, "I'm dying too. Nice way to go though, huh ?"

  "Har har, funny man." I flipped onto my belly. "How do you even have energy to do... what you do? Are you like a camel storing fat somewhere ?"

  "A sex camel, that's kind of a funny image." His grin was lopsided. "No, truth is I'm starving. That's why I keep eating." He slid his hands between my legs .

  I swatted him. "Man cannot live on pussy alone ."

  "Maybe." He arched his eyebrows. "But think of the scientific break throughs if I prove that theory wrong ?"

  "You're a scientist now ?"

  "Of this body?" He trailed his fingers up my side. "Call me goddamned Einstein ."

  I laughed and knocked him in the arm with my hand, a weak little punch that did nothing but make him grab my fingers to kiss them. "Feed me," I moaned .

  "I'm keeping you safe," he murmured into my neck. "No one can kidnap you so long as you're locked in my room ."

  I laughed, letting him kiss a trail back up to my ear. "Oh is that what this is? Locked up for my own protection ?"

  "They still haven't found those girls, you know ."

  I winced. "Well I trust you to keep me safe from harm," I told him, pressing my finger to his nose. "You can even pick the place ."

  He scrunched up his face. "I supposed we could go back to that cafe ."

  I nodded. "I suppose we could. Only one problem ."

  "What's that ?"

  "I'm too weak to move ."

  He looked oddly pleased about that. "I'll carry you ."

  "Oh wonderful. That won't be embarrassing in the slightest ."

  "For who? You? Because I'm totally fine with dragging you around like a caveman ."

  I laughed. Back when I'd thought he was too much for me, the idea of Hudson as caveman would have freaked me out. Now it only turned me on .

  "Let me get dressed at least ."

  "Aw man," he mock pouted .

  "You should put some pants on ."

  "It's really inconvenient when I get hard for you," he complained. "What if I suddenly need to fuck you again ?"

  "Try to hold off on fucking me for at least an hour. Just think how much better it'll be once you fuel up ."

  He turned his head and raised his eyebrow as in serious contemplation. "Fine. When you put it like that I can see the benefit of allowing you out of my bed. But only for an hour," he warned .

  I laughed. "Deal." Honestly the idea of leaving made me almost nervous, like we'd be breaking some kind of fragile spell that kept us safe in here, away from all the reasons we shouldn't be together .

  I gathered up my clothes, making sure my sketchbook was tucked into my bag. It hadn't been getting as much use as I'd wanted, but I really wanted to sketch Hudson in this moment .

  The moment I knew I loved him .

  The cafe was a short walk, but I was so sore that it took me forever to stumble up the slight incline up from the villa. Hudson kept a protective hand at the small of my back and for the first time in my life I got to feel what it was like to have a strong man standing next to me, helping me even when I was sure I could do it by myself. He just...did things. Without needing prompting or encouragement. I felt like I could relax into this kind of treatment. It felt almost like getting spoiled, but more than that it felt...easy .

  He made me feel at ease .

  I'd never felt this way before. Always worrying, ten steps ahead of people. I was the one who looked out for the feelings of everyone around me. I was a walking open wound, always having other people's shit poured into me. He made me feel like that wasn't necessary .

  No one had done that for me before .

  Back at the cafe, he pulled out my chair, then settled down across from me, then thought better of it and scooched the chair around until we were brushing arms. I ordered for us both in my schoolgirl Italian and he trusted me enough to order for him .

  "This espresso tastes like angels made it," I sighed as I sipped the hot nectar the waiter brought over immediately. "Taste." I leaned over and tipped the tiny cup against his lips. He made a face, but dutifully took a tiny sip, then shook his head, grimacing .

  "You don't like espresso?" I laughed as he gagged .

  "Bad for my voice," he explained. "I never drink coffee. Acid ."

  I blinked a little. "You're really devoted to the band, aren't you ?"

  "This shouldn't surprise you ."

  "It doesn't, I just..." It was hard to say what exactly I wanted to say. How I appreciated the risk he was taking for me. For us. I leaned over and closed my hand over his hand. "I love you," I told him .

  He grinned and leaned in, kissing me in full view of everyone on the sidewalk. "I love you more ."

  "Well that's debatable ."

  "I can prove it ."

  "Hudson!" I squealed as he slid his hand into my lap .

  "Hudson!" a voice bellowed from across the street .

  We both froze. His voice was still sinking into me, even as my brother bellowed again and charged into traffic. Tires squealed and shouts and curses in Italian flooded the narrow street .

  Hudson unfroze first and leaped to his feet, dropping back into a fighting stance. I started wishing like hell that the earth would open up and swallow me .

  But Vesuvius didn't suddenly erupt and save me. The heavens didn't open in a sudden storm. So there was nothing to do but push myself up to stand with Hudson and face down my brother. I reached for his hand, but it was clenched in a fist, ready .

  My throat tightened. "Niall," I started to say, lifting my chin to meet his eyes as my brother stormed up to us. "We were going to tell you ..."

  But he didn't even hear me. He just charged right past, and straight into Hudson .

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Hudson

  "M y sister?" he shouted as he raged across the street. "You told me... you fucking promised me !"

  I held up my hands. "Niall, I know but ..."

  "You looked me in the eye!" he shouted, as tires squealed around him. From somewhere along the sidewalk, woman screamed as he slammed his fists down on the hood of a car, then whirled on me. "I asked you! Point fucking blank! I asked you if you had a thing for her!" he shouted. I saw the bright flare of a camera flash, but I couldn't turn to see who was recording this, what tabloi
d we'd show up in tomorrow, because I had to watch where Niall's rage was sending him next. "And you know what else you said? You said you'd be pretty fucking stupid to have a thing with her, right?" He sprinted the last five feet and hopped up onto the sidewalk. I stepped to the left, shielding Tallula as best I could. "Right asshole?" Niall bellowed. "Pretty fucking stupid to sneak around with your bandmate's sister !"

  I braced myself for his fist to my jaw, but at the last minute he ducked down and sucker punched me right in the gut .

  "Niall!" Tallula shouted, as several panicked voices filled my ringing ears at once. I doubled over and staggered back against the wall of the cafe before finding my balance and standing up again. Tallula was shouting and trying to haul her brother off of me, but he shook her off like she was an annoying mosquito and raised his fists. "Come on, asshole!" he shouted, his posh accent lost in a snarling slur .

  "I'm not fighting you," I told him through clenched teeth. A bright blaze of pain was knifing through my gut and making me woozy .

  "That's too fucking bad for you then!" he shouted, lunging .

  I ducked out of the way of his punch at the last second, swinging my head under and catching him around the waist. Several people shouted as we went stumbling back. At first I thought the explosions in my head were from his fists landing around my ears, but then I realized that all around us there were people taking pictures .

  "Hudson!" Tallula cried as I drove her brother back up so he splayed across the hood of a parked car. He twisted and flopped like a fish caught on a line, somehow shrugging out of his shirt before escaping me. "Hudson stop!" Then she whirled on her brother, launching herself at him again to grab him by the shoulders. He twisted and snarled. "Niall, god dammit, stop this!" Tallula cried. He lunged to punch again .