by Adele Abbott
“Thank goodness for that.”
Florence came running over. “Look, Mummy, I chose the red one.”
“That’s lovely, darling.”
“I’ve got a yellow one, Mrs Maxwell.” Wendy held hers up for me to see.
“That’s very pretty too.”
“If you want to, you can stick them on your head,” Ronald said.
“Yeah!” Florence put hers on her forehead and it stayed put.
Wendy followed suit.
“They will come off, won’t they?” I said to Ronald.
“Of course. Just give them a twist and they’ll snap off. Right, it’s time to go and meet the queen now. Are you girls ready?”
They chorused a deafening, “Yes!”
Queen Ursula was on her throne, but as soon as we walked through the door, she stepped down and trotted across the room to us.
“These must be the two prettiest girls in the human world. Which one of you is Florence?”
“I am,” Florence said, as quiet as a mouse. She was clearly overawed to be in the presence of the queen of the unicorns.
“So you must be Wendy?”
Wendy could only manage a nod.
“My name is Ursula. I’m very pleased to meet you both. I see Ronald has given you your own horns. I have to say you both make excellent unicorns.” That brought a smile to the face of both girls. “Would you like to know what we have planned for you today?”
“Yes, please.” Florence had found her voice again.
“First, you’re going to ride in the royal carriage, through U-city. Then, when you get back to the palace, there’ll be a party tea for you. How does that sound?”
“Brilliant!” Florence squealed.
“Fantastic!” Wendy yelled.
“In that case, your carriage awaits. Ronald, would you escort these two young ladies?”
“It will be my pleasure, your highness.”
“What about me, Ursula?” I said. “Shall I go with them?”
“You’re welcome to accompany them, or you can stay here and we can chat.”
Much as I would have liked to look around U-City, the thought of being stuck in a carriage with two manic young girls wasn’t the least bit appealing.
“Florence, do you mind if I stay here with the queen?”
She shrugged, and it was clear she couldn’t have cared less, so long as she got to ride in the unicorn carriage.
Once the girls and Ronald had left, Ursula ordered tea for two.
“Bring it through to my quarters, would you?”
“I really do appreciate you doing this today, Ursula.”
“Don’t mention it, Jill. It’s the least I could do.”
Her quarters turned out to be a room only half the size of the throne room, but every bit as spectacular. There was so much gold, I needed sunglasses; the furnishings were made from only the very best materials. Being queen of the unicorns definitely paid way better than being a private investigator.
“This is a lovely room, Ursula.”
“Thanks. The throne room always feels rather ostentatious, that’s why I spend most of my time in this little hideaway. It’s much more homely.”
“Right.”
“Grab a seat, I’ve ordered Earl Grey tea for us, and I hear on the grapevine that you have a soft spot for custard creams.”
“Where did you hear that?” I took a seat on one of the two ginormous sofas.
“I have my spies.” She grinned.
“I really am grateful you allowed Florence and her friend to pay you a visit.”
“The pleasure is all mine, and besides, there’s something I want to talk to you about.”
“Oh?”
Before she could elaborate, Ronald brought in the tea and biscuits, and much to my delight, the custard creams were on a plate by themselves.
“I understand that you don’t like your custard creams mixed with other biscuits.” He put the plate on the table next to me.
“Your spies are very good. Thank you.”
Ursula waited until Ronald had left us alone and then said, “I wanted to bring you up to date on the Devon situation.”
“That’s really not necessary, Ursula. He’s your brother, and I understand that complicates things.”
“It does, but after you left, I gave a lot of thought to what you’d said.”
“I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s none of my business.”
“I’m glad you did. I needed someone to make me see sense. I couldn’t continue to turn a blind eye to Devon’s antics, so I’ve exiled him.”
“You have? I really wasn’t expecting that.”
“Neither was he. It isn’t quite as bad as it sounds. He’s living on U-Island in the lap of luxury.”
“Where is that?”
“Off the south coast of U-City. It’s only ten minutes by steamer. He’s allowed to visit U-City one day per month, but he isn’t allowed to go to the human world.”
“How did he take that?”
“He wasn’t happy, but when he realised the alternative was to spend time behind bars, he quickly warmed to the idea. I’ve promised to review the situation in two years.”
“I have to say, Ursula, I’m impressed. That can’t have been easy.”
“It wasn’t, but what kind of example would I have been setting for my subjects if I’d done nothing?”
When Florence and Wendy returned from the carriage ride around U-City, they were even more hyper.
“We went to the park, Mummy. The slide was really, really big. So was the roundabout.”
“Then we saw the unicorn fish,” Wendy said.
“Unicorn fish?”
“Yeah, they’re in the lake. They have horns on their heads too.”
“Fantastic.”
“And we saw a giant fountain,” Florence said.
“And now it’s time for tea. Follow me, everyone.” Ursula led the way into a huge dining room. On either side of the table, which ran the full length of the room, were lots of young unicorns, all clearly excited about meeting the two girls.
“Florence and Wendy, I’ve put you at either end of the table.”
The two girls took their seats and were soon chatting to the young unicorns.
“Tuck in, everyone!” Ronald said.
The table was heaped high with sandwiches, cake and pop. The children (human and unicorn) didn’t need telling twice to get stuck in.
***
All too soon (for the girls, not for me), it was time to say our goodbyes.
“Say thank you to the queen,” I said.
“Thank you!” Wendy gushed.
“Thank you!” Florence said. “Can we come again?”
“Florence! You shouldn’t say that.” I was mortified.
“It’s okay, Jill. I’m just glad the girls have enjoyed themselves. And yes, Florence, you’re both welcome to come back again.”
“Next week?”
“Maybe not that soon. Perhaps next year.”
“Yay!”
“Thanks again, Ursula. And well done with the other thing. Bye.”
“Bye, everyone.” The queen saw us off.
“It was brilliant, Mummy!” Wendy said to Donna. “We had a ride in a carriage, and we saw unicorn fish, and we ate lots of cake.”
“It sounds like you had a lovely time.”
“We did, and we got these.” She held open a giant carrier bag.
Ursula had given a bag full of presents to both girls just before I magicked us back to the human world. Florence was already tearing the wrapping paper off hers.
“Can I open mine too, Mummy?” Wendy said.
“Let’s get back home first. You can do it there.”
“You’re welcome to stay, Donna,” I said.
“We really ought to get back. Thanks again for today.”
“No problem. I have a feeling we might be doing it again next year. Florence, say goodbye to Wendy and her mummy.”
“Bye.”
She managed without once looking up from her haul of presents.
Chapter 15
“But Mummy, I don’t feel very well.”
“You’re perfectly fine. You have to go, so let’s hear no more about it, please.”
Normally, Florence couldn’t wait to go to school to be with her friends, but this morning, she was pretending to be under the weather, so that she could stay at home and play with the toy unicorns that Ursula had given her. But I was onto her game.
“Please, Mummy, I’m poorly.” She forced a cough to prove the point.
“Why don’t you take one of your new unicorn toys to show the children at school?”
“Can I?”
“Yes, but you mustn’t tell anyone where you got it from.”
“Okay. Which one shall I take?” Her cough had miraculously cleared up.
“You decide. Mummy has to go to work.” I gave her a kiss, then went through to the lounge where Jack was catching up with the TV news. “I’m off, Jack.”
“You’re going in early, aren’t you?”
“I have to meet someone at a diner on the A2186.”
“Big Bessie’s?”
“How did you know?”
“I’ve driven past it a thousand times. It looks like a real greasy spoon. I hope you aren’t planning on getting anything to eat from there.”
“I might risk a bacon cob. I’m starving.”
“Rather you than me.”
“A word of warning. Florence was trying to get out of going to school just now.”
“Is she poorly?”
“She reckons so, but she’s fine. She just wants to stay home to play with her new toys. I told her she can take one of them to school with her. That seems to have placated her for now, but I wanted to make sure you don’t cave in and let her stay off school.”
“I wouldn’t do that.”
“You say that, but I know what you’re like. She can twist you around her little finger.”
“Rubbish.”
“Just like I can.” I grinned.
***
Wow! Jack hadn’t been kidding about Big Bessie’s. It wasn’t so much a greasy spoon as a greasy ladle. It wasn’t even a proper building, but instead appeared to be three old steel containers that had been welded together. It was with some trepidation that I pushed open the steel door, only to be met with the overwhelming aroma of bacon.
Mmm, I love that smell.
“Over here!” Fi shouted from the table closest to the counter. “Grab a seat. I haven’t ordered yet. I thought I’d wait for you. The breakfast cobs are to die for.”
With Jack’s words of wisdom still ringing in my ears, I went for the sausage and bacon cob.
“Have you been here before, Jill?”
“I can’t say I have.”
“You’re in for a treat, then. Bessie makes the best bacon cobs in this part of the country, and I should know, I’ve eaten my way through a few hundred.”
“Bessie does actually exist, then?”
“Yeah.” She grinned. “That’s her.” She pointed to the overweight, unshaved, bald-headed man who was hard at work at the griddle. “His name’s actually Thomas, but everyone calls him Bessie. It drives him mad.”
I did a double take when the food arrived.
“Big enough for you?” Fi laughed.
“This is ridiculous.” The cob was so large I needed two hands to hold it.
“Take a bite.”
I did, and she was right, it was the best breakfast cob I’d ever tasted. “This is delicious.”
“Told you, didn’t I?”
I was a little nervous about drinking from the huge mug, which clearly had never seen the inside of a dishwasher, so I closed my eyes while I drank.
“How well did you know Killer, Fi?”
“He and I were an item for a while. Almost a year in fact.”
“Was that before Johnny?”
“At the same time, actually, but before Chains.”
“Right. Your love life is a little complicated.”
“Not to me.”
“Does that mean you were seeing Killer while he was still a member of Loose Chippings?”
“Yeah, we had to keep it quiet because it wouldn’t have gone down well with either club. Life became a lot simpler once he joined WOW.”
“Wow?”
“Wash-on-Wheels.”
“Of course. I thought for a minute, you meant—err—never mind. How did it end? Between you and Killer, I mean?”
“He ended it.”
“Did he find out about Johnny?”
“No, it wasn’t that. He’d always known about him.”
“Why then?”
“He said things were getting stale, but I reckon he was seeing someone else. I can always tell.”
“Do you know who?”
“No idea.”
“And then you and Chains got together?”
“Not straight away, but yeah, a few months later.”
“When was the last time you saw Killer?”
“The day before he died. I went over to the workshop to take a look at the competition bike.”
“Did the two of you talk?”
“A bit. Mainly about the bike.”
“How did he seem?”
“Same as always.”
As Fi reached across the table for the ketchup, I noticed a small tattoo on her wrist: A red rose with a letter S on the stem.
“What does the S stand for?”
“That’s for my parents: Susan and Stephen. They died within a few hours of one another.”
“How awful. Was it a car crash?”
“No. My mum had been ill for years, so her passing wasn’t unexpected. But that same night, my dad died from a heart attack. At least, that’s what they called it. It was a broken heart if you ask me.”
“That must have been terrible for you.”
“It was the worst day of my life. The day Killer died was the third anniversary of their death. I was on my way back from Halifax when I heard about him.”
“Halifax?”
“That’s where my parents are buried. I visit their grave every year on that day.”
“Were you close to them?”
“Very. I was a bad kid, got into a lot of trouble, but they always stood by me.”
I finished the last of my breakfast cob and stood up. “Okay, thanks for taking the time to talk to me, Fi.”
“For what it’s worth, I don’t reckon Slugger did it.”
“Oh?” I sat back down again. “You never spoke up when Chains said he thought Slugger was responsible.”
“Chains doesn’t like to be contradicted. Particularly not by me.”
“Who do you think killed him?”
“You have to promise you won’t let on it came from me.”
“You have my word.”
“If you ask me, it was Sid.”
“Why him?”
“I happen to know that Killer had lent Sid some money. I heard the two of them arguing about it. From what I could make out, Sid should have paid back the money some time ago.”
“Did the argument get heated?”
“Yeah, very. There were lots of threats going back and forth. Have you spoken to Sid yet?”
“No, but I intend to.”
***
I left the diner feeling several pounds heavier. I would have to make sure I avoided this road in future in case I was tempted to try more of Bessie’s delicious but calorie-loaded offerings.
On the drive into Washbridge, I began to think about Winky. Was he still wandering the streets, cold and alone? Hopefully, I’d find him sitting on the sofa; I’d apologise for misjudging him, and everything would go back to how it used to be.
“Morning, Jill.” Mrs V was eating strawberries. “Would you like one?”
“No, thanks. Is Winky back?”
“No, and I hope we’ve seen the last of him.”
“Are you sure he hasn’t sneaked back in?
” I started for my office. “Maybe he’s hiding under the sofa.”
But he wasn’t. And he wasn’t on my desk. Or on the windowsill.
The office was sans Winky.
I slumped into my chair, feeling totally despondent. I’d done some terrible things in my time, but this was by far the worst, and I couldn’t allow it to stand. I had to find Winky, apologise to him, and ask him to come back. How to find him, though, that was the question. Posters were a waste of time. I’d tried those the last time he’d gone missing. Instead of finding him, I’d ended up with an imposter called Blinky. Besides, the world had moved on since then. Why spend hours putting up posters when I could reach millions through social media? There was just one teeny, tiny problem: I wasn’t exactly the world’s leading expert when it came to social media type stuff, but I knew someone who did know their way around it, so I made a call and left a voicemail asking them to call me back.
A few minutes later, Mrs V popped her head around the door.
“Jill, I have the lady from the dog grooming salon here. She wondered if you might be able to spare her a few minutes.”
“Of course. Send her through.”
As soon as she walked in, it was clear that Farah was hot under the collar about something. She usually had a smile on her face, but today, her face looked like thunder.
“I’m sorry to disturb you, Jill.”
“No problem. Is something wrong?”
“Have you opened your post yet today?”
I glanced at the pile of unopened bills on my desk. “I haven’t got around to it yet. Why?”
“I’ve just had a letter from the new landlord.”
“I didn’t realise we had a new landlord.”
“Neither did I, but we do, and they say they’re going to raise the rent by twenty-five per cent.”
“They’re doing what!” I grabbed the pile of letters on my desk. “What’s the name of these cowboys?”
“Robert Bear & Associates.”
“It’s here.” I ripped open the envelope and skimmed through the letter. “This is outrageous.”
“Can they do this, Jill? Legally, I mean?”