by Adele Abbott
“What are you going to do with that stone now?”
“Yes, what are you going to do with it?” Grandma said.
“You can’t just walk into our house like this.” I snapped. “Have you never heard of knocking?”
“I did knock, but you two were too busy arguing to hear me.”
“We weren’t arguing,” Jack said.
“Have you found a job yet, Jim?”
“His name is Jack!” I snapped. I really wasn’t in the mood for this. “Did you want something?”
“I came to tell you that the lido closed today. If you don’t get this thing sorted soon, it will be too late.”
“I’m doing my best.”
“I hope so because the clock is ticking. So, what are you going to do with that compass stone?”
“How do you know what this is?”
“Martin told me all about it.”
“Martin? Why would he do that? I told him not to tell anyone. Just wait until I get my hands on him.”
“It wasn’t his fault. He doesn’t know that he told me. When he suddenly reappeared after all that time, I sensed something was afoot, so I tracked him down and used a little magic to persuade him to reveal all. Not that he’ll remember any of that.” She cackled. “What I’d like to know is why you didn’t see fit to tell me.”
“Because I’m perfectly capable of dealing with this situation by myself. I don’t need your help.”
“I wouldn’t be helping you. I’d be doing it for my great-grandchild. Now, shall I take the stone for safe-keeping?”
“No, thanks, I’d rather hang on to it.”
“Great-Grandma!” Florence came running back into the kitchen, shoebox in hand. “I’ve got two beetles.”
“I love beetles. What are their names?”
“Ben and Jen.”
“What fantastic names. Are you going to show them to me?”
“She can show you them outside.” I ushered the two of them into the garden.
“She does it on purpose, you know,” Jack said. “The name thing.”
“Of course she does. She’s just trying to get a reaction. You mustn’t bite, whatever you do.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t. By the way, if you spot Barbara Babble in the village, I’d give her a wide berth.”
“I always do. Any reason in particular?”
“Yeah, she’s totally lost the plot this time. She cornered me in the store and made me promise not to say a word to anyone about what she was about to tell me.”
“Which was?”
“According to her, government agents have been sent to the village.”
“What does that mean, exactly?”
“Your guess is as good as mine. The woman is a picnic short of a sandwich.”
“I think you’ll find that the saying is—never mind.”
Chapter 23
“Mummy, Daddy, Jen won’t wake up,” Florence said.
“Who’s Jen?” I’d only just come downstairs and I wasn’t even half awake.
“My beetle.” She held up the shoebox.
“Let me take a look, pumpkin.” Jack took the box from her, glanced inside, then turned to me and made a subtle shake of his head.
Oh bum! If Florence realised that one of her beloved beetles had died, she’d be really upset, which was the last thing we needed just before she was due to go to school. Better to wait until she came home to deliver the bad news.
“Let me look.” I took the box from Jack and put my ear to it. “Jen’s fast asleep. I can hear her snoring.”
“She’s such a lazybones, isn’t she?” Florence took back the box, seemingly satisfied with that explanation.
“Why did you go and tell her that?” Jack said, once Florence was outside and out of earshot.
“I didn’t want her to be upset before she went to school.”
“You do realise that I’m going to have to tell her the truth when she comes home, don’t you?”
“Unless you find another Jen while she’s at school. There must be hundreds of them out there.”
“Florence will know the difference.”
“Of course she won’t. Seen one beetle, seen them all.”
I was just about to get into the car.
“Jill! Wait!”
Oh no! I’d recognise that voice anywhere.
“Morning, Barbara. Sorry, I can’t stop. I’m late for an appointment.”
“You have to hear this, Jill. You’ll never believe what I’m going to tell you.”
“Like I said, I really do have—”
“I’ve seen three of them now.”
“Three what?”
“Shush!” She glanced around. “They might be listening.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Barbara. Who might be listening?”
“The government agents.”
“Jack said you’d mentioned something about that.”
“There were only two of them at first, but another one joined them yesterday.”
“And what exactly are these agents doing?”
“That, Jill, is the seventy-six thousand dollar question. If you ask me, they must be on the trail of spies.”
“Spies in Middle Tweaking?”
“I suspect the vicar is one of them.”
“Why would you think that?”
“Haven’t you noticed his peculiar behaviour?”
I had a sudden mental image of the vicar, walking down the middle of the road in the rain, wearing a dressing gown and a pair of flip-flops, with a pug under his arm.
“I can’t say I have.”
“Definitely suspicious if you ask me. It wouldn’t surprise me if those agents were to arrest him soon.”
“Right. Anyway, I really do have to get going. It was lovely to speak to you, as always.”
That woman was as nutty as a fruit cake.
***
“Armi asked if you’d found your lease for him to look at yet,” Mrs V said.
“I’ve looked high and low, but I can’t find it anywhere. I even asked Farah from Bubbles if I could take a look at hers, but it seems she was never actually given a copy.”
“Isn’t that rather unusual?”
“Very, and a little suspicious if you ask me.”
“What are you going to do, Jill?”
“Without a copy of the lease, I’m not sure what I can do.”
“Does that mean we’ll have to move out?”
“Over my dead body. Don’t worry, Mrs V, I’ll get it sorted.”
“I do hope so, dear. I noticed the sofas are still next door. I assume you intend to do something about them?”
“They’ll be out of here by Monday, I promise.”
Winky had guests again. This time, instead of the two snooty male cats, there were three females.
“Good morning, Jill. Can I introduce you to Mitsi, Suzy, and Candy?”
“Hi, ladies.”
The three of them chorused a quick hello.
“The girls have come over to help me make a decision on the sofa.”
“I expected you to have made your mind up by now.”
“These things can’t be rushed.”
“I like the blue one,” Candy said.
“No. The green leather one is much better,” said Mitsi.
“Neither of you have any taste,” Suzy said. “The pink and red one is head and shoulders above the rest.”
“Do you think the girls and I could have some salmon, Jill? Choosing a sofa is hungry work.”
“I—err—suppose so.” Winky was beginning to try my patience, but I kept reminding myself that I had to make up for the great injustice I’d done him.
Thirty minutes later, Winky’s friends had left, but he was no closer to making a decision on the sofa.
“This can’t go on, Winky. I need these sofas out of here by Monday morning.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll make my mind up by the end of the day and have the rest out of here by next week.”
&nbs
p; “You better had.”
Mrs V popped her head around the door. “Your two friends with the catsuits are here.”
“Daze and Blaze? Send them in, would you.”
Daze was sporting a rather understated navy blue catsuit. Blaze, on the other hand, was wearing a red one covered in sequins.
“Wow, Blaze, you look—err—”
“Ridiculous is the word you’re searching for, Jill.” Daze shot her sidekick a disapproving look. “We’re supposed to be inconspicuous.”
Walking around in catsuits? Hmm.
“Take a seat. There are plenty to choose from.”
“This may be a daft question, Jill, but—”
“Why are there so many sofas in here?”
“Yeah.”
“Let’s just say I’m repaying a debt and leave it at that.”
“Fair enough.”
Daze parked herself on a brown upholstered sofa. Blaze and his sequins found a sofa that matched the colour of his catsuit.
“To what do I owe this pleasure, guys?”
“Our worst fears have been realised, Jill,” Daze said, deadly serious now.
“What fears?”
“About your village.”
“Are you talking about Grandma’s hotel? I spoke to her at length and as far as I’m aware, she has it all in-hand now.”
“Perhaps, but I fear she may have been too late implementing those measures.”
“Why? What’s happened?”
“We have our people working undercover in strategic organisations here in the human world, to give us a heads-up if any major problems arise. A couple of days ago, we received word that DOPA have sent some of their agents to Middle Tweaking.”
“DOPA? What’s that?”
“The Department of Paranormal Activity.”
“I’ve never heard of it.”
“That’s hardly surprising. Officially, it doesn’t exist.”
“How did they get to hear about what’s going on in Middle Tweaking?”
“That’s what I’d like to know.”
“So what happens now?”
“We have to make sure they don’t find any evidence of paranormal activity.”
“And how do you do that?”
“We should start by sending all of the guests at your grandmother’s hotel back to Candlefield.”
“Are you serious?”
“Deadly.”
“Good luck with getting Grandma to go along with that.”
“Actually, that’s why we came to see you.”
“Hold on. You’re not here to ask me to tell her, are you?”
“It would be better coming from you.”
“She won’t listen to me. I doubt she’ll listen to anyone for that matter.”
“She has to this time. The DOPA people don’t mess around.”
“What can they actually do, though?”
“In the past when this has happened, sups have been known to disappear and never be seen again.”
“What do you think happened to them?”
“We honestly don’t know. That’s the scary part. So, will you have a word with your grandmother? Please.”
“Okay, but I don’t think it will do any good. What about me?”
“What about you?”
“In case you’ve forgotten, I’m a sup too.”
“You’ll be fine unless you start casting spells in broad daylight. I’m not worried about you because you’ve lived among humans for so long that you fit in. It’s all those first-time visitors at the hotel I’m concerned about.”
“Alright. I’ll talk to Grandma.”
“Thanks, Jill.” She stood up and turned to Blaze. “Come on, glitterball, we have work to do.”
“I’m coming. Hey, you forgot to tell Jill about the Canary Brothers.”
“Oh yeah. We struck a deal with those yellow guys. A slightly reduced sentence in return for them telling us where they got all the stolen goods from, so that we could return them to their rightful owners.”
“Mrs V was certainly pleased to get her yarn back.”
“That’s the interesting part. We gave the Canary Brothers photos of the stolen goods, and they’re adamant they didn’t steal the yarn.”
“Why would they bother denying that? It doesn’t make any sense if they’ve admitted to stealing the rest.”
“I know, which is why I’m inclined to believe them. They reckon they found it in a dumpster in an alleyway, and from the description, I’m pretty sure they’re talking about the one behind this building. They said they remembered because when they checked the dumpster, a cat jumped out and scared them to death.”
“Did it now?” I glanced across at Winky who was leaping from sofa to sofa, heading for the open window.
“Anyway, we’d better get going, Jill.” Daze started for the door. “Make sure you let your grandmother know how serious the situation is.”
“I will.” I waited until they were out of the door. “Winky!”
It was too late; he had already bolted. That feline was a dead cat walking.
I tried calling Grandma to warn her about the DOPA people, but she wasn’t picking up. I’d just have to go over to the hotel after work and hope I wasn’t too late.
***
According to Grandma, the lido had closed its doors, but maybe there was still time to rescue it before someone bulldozed it, and replaced it with yet another empty office building. All my hopes now hinged on getting in touch with the people behind Reptile Holdings who, courtesy of Alf the elf, I now knew to be G&D Enterprises.
They were based in a building which had once housed the local council offices, but which had been converted into units for small businesses. G&D Enterprises were on the first floor, next to a company with the intriguing name of Spider Hire.
There was no one behind the reception desk at G&D, and no bell or buzzer to call for attention. After a few minutes, my patience was beginning to run out.
“Hello! Is there anyone here?”
That seemed to do the trick because a witch, who judging by her face was halfway through applying her makeup, appeared through the door behind the desk.
“Yeah?” She was clearly a woman of few words.
“Is this G&D Enterprises?”
“That’s what it says on the door, isn’t it?”
And a charmer to boot.
“It’s just that I thought it might be the offices of Reptile Holdings.”
She tried to maintain a poker face, but I saw the brief tell that confirmed I’d struck a chord.
“Never heard of them,” she lied.
“Would you mind telling me who G&D are?”
“Alistair Gator and Mr Dial.”
“Let me guess, Mr Dial’s first name is Crocker.”
“No, it’s Fred. Look, what do you want?”
“I’d like to speak to Mr Gator.”
“He isn’t in today.”
“Okay, I’ll speak to Mr Dial.”
“He’s not here either.”
“When will they be in?”
“I’m not sure.”
“What exactly is it that G&D does?”
“Import/Export.”
“Of what?”
“Sorry?”
“What do they import and export?”
“Lots of things. Now, I really am very busy, so if there’s nothing else.”
“No, that’s it. I’ll let you get back to your makeup. Thanks for your help.”
Did I believe any of that? Not a chance, which is why I called in at the offices next door. I was barely through the door before an eager young vampire greeted me with a toothy smile (no fangs, thankfully).
“Welcome to Spider Hire. My name is Becky. How can I help you today?”
“I’m looking to—err—hire a spider.”
“That never gets old.” She laughed.
“Look, can I be honest?”
“Of course.”
“I have no idea what you do.”
>
“We hire out office furniture.”
“Why are you called Spider Hire?”
“The owner’s name is Stephen Spider.”
“I see.”
“If you didn’t know what we do, how come you’re here?”
“I was just wondering if you knew anything about the business next door?”
“G&D? Not really. Why?”
I told her about the lido, the community centre, the nursery, and my suspicions regarding her neighbours.
“And you think G&D might actually be these Reptile people?”
“Yes.”
“That’s terrible. My gran goes to the lido every Sunday. She’s going to be devastated when she finds out it’s closed.”
“Have you ever seen the people who work next door?”
“I see Mildred occasionally, but she rarely says more than hello.”
“What about the two men? Mr Gator and Mr Dial?”
“I’ve only ever seen one man, and then only when I passed him in the corridor. I said hello but he blanked me. He was wearing a smart suit, and I remember thinking he looked a bit of a thug.”
“Oh?”
“He’s a big guy. Looks like he works out a lot. Oh, and he had a scar on his face.” She pointed to her left cheek.
That pretty much sealed the deal for me. Lillian Wrongplant, AKA Mushy, had told me that she’d seen a big man, dressed in a smart suit, on the site of the community centre. He too had a scar on the side of his face. It was clear that G&D Enterprises was a front for Reptile Holdings, but I still had no idea why they were taking over buildings, only to erect offices that remained empty. According to the elderly wizard, who I’d seen walking his Labrador, a van visited the office building most nights of the week. Why would it do that? If I could find the answer to that question, maybe I’d be closer to discovering what Mr Gator and Mr Dial were up to.
Chapter 24
I was feeling rather peckish, so I stopped off at Cuppy C. The twins had pushed two tables together at the rear of the shop and, at first, I couldn’t make out what they were doing, but then I realised that the tables were covered in corks of all shapes and sizes.
Once I had my sandwich and drink, I went over to find out what they were up to.
“Where did you get those corks from?” I asked.
“From Mum of course.” Pearl grinned. “We knew she’d cave.”