by Amy Daws
He loses a little brightness in his eyes and looks down.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Nothing.” He looks toward the door. “Right.” He purses his lips and leans in, dropping a kiss on my cheek. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” Then he leaves without a look back.
My Penis List is finally going to start.
Tequila Sunrise, baby.
“SO YOU’RE SURE YOU want it to be that Harris footballer? Not one of those blokes over there?” Belle asks, gesturing across the sea of people grinding against each other and waving flirtatiously toward the guys we just left.
“Yes I’m sure,” I almost growl, but hold back. We’ve been dancing with the same two guys since we arrived at Club Taint. They are cute and nice, and I’m trying to be fun because this is Belle’s night off, too, but all I have is Camden Harris on my mind. The more I moved my body, the more I thought about his pressed up against mine back at my flat. God, I bet he would be an incredible dancer. Before I knew it, I was feeling flush everywhere and didn’t want the guy I was with to get the wrong idea, so I told Belle I needed to cool off.
More like hose off.
“You look hot enough, you could get pretty much any guy here,” Belle adds. “Even the gay ones.”
I roll my eyes and look down at the mustard yellow dress she insisted I wear. It’s sleeveless, tight, and has a short asymmetrical hemline with a slit up one side. Paired with black, peep toe ankle boots, my red hair tamed into some halfway-decent curls, and Bad Blood lipstick, I can’t help but feel pretty good. It’s just too bad I can’t apply this effort to my chosen one.
I giggle to myself at that label for Cam and press my lips together, recalling the feel of his firm, sculpted arms and soft, needy lips. God, if he can fuck as good as he kisses, I’m more than ready for tomorrow.
I take large gulps of my cold beer and slightly sway, annoyed that the alcohol is doing nothing to stave off my desire. Belle downs the last of hers and waves the bottle. “You’ve got the next round.”
I polish off mine, too. “Hold our spot. We’ll have one more and then I’m done. I don’t want to be hung over tomorrow.”
“Oh yes. This I know.” Belle shoots me a lewd smirk, her tongue darting out to lick her lips. “It’s why you took so long getting ready tonight. Had to pamper all your wobbly bits to ensure they are ready for tomorrow night’s performance!”
“Shut it, you cow.” I shake my head at her. We’re so different, but her need to constantly shock me is my favourite part about her.
I make my way through the horde of people and up to the bar. I’m hopeful that redheaded bartender, Frank, is still here. He took one look at my hair earlier, ignored everyone else and insisted on taking a shot of Fireball with me. He is certainly gay and wonderfully hilarious. A few more drinks and I’ll probably end up asking him to be Penis Number Two.
I find a random spot open at the packed bar and see Frank elbows deep in a round of shots for a bachelorette party. It’s going to be a while before he’s free so I prop myself on the barstool. While I wait, inspiration strikes. I pull my mobile out of my clutch and find Camden’s number.
Me: Remind me why we’re waiting until tomorrow again?
Nerves erupt in my belly over my brazen text message. I shoot him an awkward grin emoji and check the time to see it’s half past eleven. What if he’s asleep? God, this was a bad idea. Belle always says to never drink and text.
Camden: Hiya to you, too. Are you home?
I do nothing to hide the huge smile that spreads across my face from his quick response.
Me: Still at Club Taint with Belle. She’s on the hunt tonight and I’m being a dutiful wing-woman.
Camden: So does this mean you’re with other guys?
I suck my lip into my mouth and press my teeth on the squishy flesh. A little playful gaming never hurt anyone.
Me: Would it be a problem if I were?
A longer than normal pause spans between us as I wait for the bouncing dots to indicate he’s typing.
Camden: Did I forget to mention I’m not a sharer?
Me: It’s just a bit of dancing. Don’t get your knickers in a twist.
Camden: What if I decide to turn this into a booty call?
Me: Are you?
Camden: Are you drunk?
Me: No.
Camden: Promise?
Me: Mostly.
Camden: Why don’t you get in a cab and come to mine? I’ll do a manual inspection and see for myself.
Me: Does your place have a lift?
Camden: Yes, why?
Me: Because having sex in a lift is wrong on so many levels!
I send some crying with laughter emojis.
Camden: So. Punny.
Me: It’s a gift.
Camden: I’ve created a monster.
Me: I’d love to come, but I can’t leave Belle. Sorry.
Camden: So am I.
I HOP OFF THE TREADMILL and grab a towel to wipe the sweat pouring down my forehead. Having a gym in our flat comes in handy for nights like this. Ours isn’t as state-of-the-art as the one our dad has, but it gets the job done when you can’t sleep at night.
Peeling off my wet T-shirt, I fling it into the corner and check my mobile again. No more texts.
I drop down on the mat to stretch. Indie Porter is doing a proper job of getting in my fucking head.
After leaving her flat earlier tonight, I couldn’t stop thinking about how she said that her adventures in life had just begun. What did she mean by that? How experienced is she? How far has she gone with other blokes in the past? Why do I want to know?
I’ve never wanted to know with any other girls. Ever. But she’s evoked this side of my brain that needs all the information right the fuck now. Plus, after her texts, the thought of her at a club with other blokes touching her makes my teeth grind.
Indie Porter is this perfect un-plucked flower that has no clue how the elements of nature can affect her both negatively and positively. She needs guidance. She needs patience and understanding and experience so she can learn exactly how fucking fantastic sex can be.
A lightbulb goes off in my head when I realise all of that can’t be taught in one night.
No matter how skilled I consider myself to be in the bedroom, her first time won’t be as good as her third or her fourth. I hate that some other bloke will be the one to show that to her. Like one of those blokes she’s probably dancing with at that fucking club right now.
All right, Camden Harris, once your balls drop, you need to get control of this situation.
One night doesn’t work for me anymore. With other girls, yes. But Indie is different. I need more. I need an addendum to our arrangement, and I need to make it tonight before those other tossers get any bright ideas.
I grab my mobile and pull up my brother’s number. Without another thought, I hit DIAL.
“Cam?” A deep timbre vibrates into the line. “Everything all right?”
“Yeah, Gareth, I’m fine. Are you back in Manchester? Or are you still at Dad’s?”
“I’m still at Dad’s. How’s the knee? You missed dinner, you know. Vi’s pissed.” Gareth’s accent is sounding more and more Mancunian every time I talk to him.
“I’m not scared of my big sister.”
“Yeah right,” he objects. “Wait ‘til you see her next time, and tell me that when she’s detached your balls and buried them with Bruce’s dinosaur-sized shits.”
My face contorts at the image of Vi’s huge Saint Bernard’s massive craps. Her dog is a slobbering beast but, for some reason, she loves him.
Ignoring his comment, I say, “The knee’s fine. Feels great, actually. It feels weird if I twist it a certain way, but Indie says that’ll be gone after the graft is removed.”
“Indie?” Gareth asks. “Do you mean that Dr. Porter girl? You’re on a first-name basis with your surgeon, Cam?”
“That’s why I’m calling, actually.”
“Oh, here we go.
”
I tell him everything that happened between Indie and me at the hospital, leaving out the bit about her being a virgin. No one but me needs to know that. Ever. Not that my brother would give a shit. He’d probably call me a scumbag if he knew I was planning to take her virginity and then leave her, but that’s partially why I need to tweak our arrangement.
“I need you to come with me to a club tonight. Dad, Booker, and Tanner are all away at the match, so I know you have nothing better to do. Come on, Brother. Be my wingman.”
He sighs heavily. “It’s almost midnight and it’s always a shit show when I go to clubs, Cam.”
“Get over yourself. You’re in London now, mate, not Manchester. If I can go into a club and not be mauled, so can you. Besides, I know the club she’s at. It’s basically a gay bar. We’ll be safe.”
Saying that is probably the deciding factor for why he agrees to help me. I know Gareth’s not gay because I’ve seen his porno collection. But he’s almost thirty and, truth be told, I’ve never seen him with a girl. Tanner and I have tried to drag him to the clubs with us when he’s in town, but he always avoids that kind of scene. Booker thinks he’s celibate for football. I think he’s got a secret girl in Manchester. Regardless, he doesn’t date publicly. Ever.
“I guess I should be glad you’re getting out of the flat.”
“Exactly,” I reply. “Let’s go.”
It’s just after midnight when we get to Club Taint. This place is a bit of a wonder. It has a gay bar vibe to it with the pedestal go-go dancers and the dubstep music, but it’s still diverse enough of a crowd to be able to kick back and feel welcome. I’ve been here once before with the team when we were trying to get our midfielder, Clive, to come out of the closet. Truthfully, we all know he’s gay and couldn’t give a shit. We just want to know. It’s like having a friend who’s allergic to peanuts—it’s nice to know so you don’t embarrass yourself by handing him a Walnut Whip.
Gareth leads the way, pulling down his baseball cap, keen on not being recognised. I didn’t bother wearing a hat. You don’t see many baseball caps in London, so my theory is that you draw more attention to yourself by wearing one.
While my brother orders us drinks at the bar, my gaze scans the dance floor for a red, messy bun, preferably surrounded by happy gay men and not straight, trolling blokes. I know it’s a bit intense to show up here without a warning, but there’s a part of me that’s excited to see her in public. Not in the hospital behind closed doors, or in her flat where her curtains are drawn. I want to see her in a dress, dancing and maybe a little bit intoxicated so that when I throw my ideas at her, she’s open to them. Plus, I’m much more persuasive in person.
“Relax and have a drink. You look like a fucking stalker,” Gareth says, passing me a bottle of lager. “Are you sure you know what you’re in for with this bird?”
I suck back a cool drink and frown. “I’m not a stalker, and I’m not in for anything other than adjusting our arrangement.”
“And what arrangement is that exactly?” His hazel eyes are judgmental under the shadows of his cap.
I lean in so he can hear me. “She’s not wanting a boyfriend, and I already made it very clear how I am. I just want a bit more than the one night she originally proposed.”
“Are you telling me a surgeon at a private hospital wants a one-night stand with you? What is it…some bucket list thing? Are you fulfilling her make-a-wish dying request?”
I scowl. “Don’t be a prat.”
“Well, good luck to you. Just find this girl so we can get out of here.” He turns around as a group of girls looks in our direction.
I put the bottle to my lips and nearly choke when my gaze lands on the most stunning woman I’ve ever seen. I thought Indie Porter was hot in scrubs and messy hair. The woman standing before me now is completely out of my league.
A long game plan with a bird never looked so good to Camden Harris.
WHEN I GET A GLIMPSE of Belle’s tongue ramming down her dance partner’s throat, I decide it’s time for another drink. I break away from the guy I’m with and interrupt Belle just long enough to tell her I’m going to the bar. When I turn around, my guy has already grabbed another girl, so I don’t feel much love loss there.
I finally get myself out of the throng of people, feeling as if I just got mauled, and my gaze collides with a pair of eyes that I’ve been picturing in my head all night.
The Chosen One.
“Camden?” My voice sounds weak and unsure as I approach him, drinking in his entire body. He’s dressed in a pair of faded blue jeans and a thin, holey grey T-shirt. It’s the kind of shirt you pay a lot of money to have artfully distressed because if you tried to do it yourself, it would look as if you took a paper puncher to it. His hard muscles are on full display beneath the soft fabric and the touch of ink snaking out on one arm adds edge to a drool-worthy boy next door look.
“Indie.” He utters my name so quietly I have to step closer to hear him. Even his blonde hair looks perfect, smoothed over to one side. “This is what you look like outside of work?”
I glance down shrugging. “No, not always.”
“Good,” he replies with a scowl. “Were you dancing with someone out there?”
“Hello, Dr. Porter,” a deep voice interrupts from beside him. I hadn’t realised Camden’s brother, Gareth, was standing right next to him. “Nice to see you.”
“Please, call me Indie.” I look over and smile at him politely, immediately wondering what Camden has told him about me. “What are you guys doing here?”
Camden’s face softens and he replies, “I need to talk to you.”
A pit forms in my stomach from the look on his face. Were my texts too much? Is he wanting out? Without another word, he grips my arm and ushers me away from the bar. His hand is hot on my back as he gestures toward a quiet corner of the club with tall, empty cocktail tables and no chairs. Most of the clubbers are pressing in on the dance floor, so this area feels like a place you could go to murder someone and no one would hear their screams.
“What’s going on? Is everything okay?” I ask, as the music thumps along with my heart. “What does your brother know about us?”
“Everything’s fine.” He gestures for me to stand on one side of the table and positions himself across from me. “Don’t worry about Gareth. I wouldn’t tell him more than he needs to know.”
“So he knows we’re—”
“Forget him. He doesn’t care. But you may as well know there’s not much you can do with a Harris that the others don’t eventually suss out. We’re like fucking psychics when it comes to each other’s business. It’s annoying as fuck.”
“Oh great,” I moan.
“But we don’t judge. Ever.” Camden pins me with a serious look that somehow calms my nerves.
I nod my assent. “So what are you doing here then?’
“I need to make some changes to our arrangement.” Camden is so tall that when he goes to rest his elbows on the table he has to hunch over, bringing our faces only a foot apart now.
Frowning, I ask, “What kind of changes?”
“I need more than one night.” His blue eyes flash back and forth between mine, revealing a touch of uncertainty.
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t just take your virginity and leave. It’ll be awful.” My face falls but he catches himself quickly. “What I mean is, I’m going to make it good, don’t worry. But your first time won’t be as great as your third time. I want a third time. At least.”
My gaze drops. “Camden.”
“I’m not asking for a relationship or dating, or even friends with benefits. I’m just asking for more…sex.” He has the cheek to look sheepish.
“More sex,” I huff. He has an uncanny way of simplifying meaningful conversations into two words.
“And other stuff,” he adds. “I don’t know how much you’ve done and I want to be thorough. You have five days off, right?”
&
nbsp; “Yes,” I reply.
“That’s just enough time. We’ll have some time to cool off before my final surgery and bam. I’m out of your life for good, satisfied that I’ve given you a lifetime of memories to make even your future husband look inadequate. It’ll be perfect.”
I can’t help but smile at his arrogance. “You came all the way here, to Club Taint, to tell me you want more sex?”
His eyes narrow. “I thought maybe if you were boozed up a bit, you’d be more amenable. You have a history of being a bit…tense.”
My jaw drops. “That’s only at work. You haven’t seen anything yet.”
He straightens, a broad smile taking over his entire face as he walks slowly around the table. I look down nervously as he grips my waist in his hands, squeezing my sides with delicious promise. Hovering over me, he walks me backwards until I’m pressed up against a nearby wall.
“You haven’t seen anything yet, Indie.” His voice is deep and husky, and the intense look in his eyes drains all good humour from my face. “I might have had one other reason to come here.”
He leans the rest of the way in and kisses me…like a savage.
Everything I remembered about our first kiss, and the second kiss, and the third kiss…is gone. Erased. The bar has been risen so high, all the other bars have disappeared.
My inner voice cheers in triumph at the fact that I’m actually doing this. I’m not just a doctor completely focused on my career. I’m going to be wild and have sex with Camden Harris and shift my one-dimensional life into glorious 3D.
He is the perfect Penis Number One.
Pulling back, he breaks our kiss, leaving my lips feeling raw and swollen. “What are the odds of you coming home with me right the fuck now?”
I swallow once. “I’d say pretty bloody good.”