I peered over at Jason, wondering if he’d noticed Dani’s hesitation.
“And, oh my God, you guys are never going to believe this—Chris was right. Someone did orchestrate everything. I don’t know all the details, but I do know who created the Virus. And, I gotta admit, I’m kind of having a hard time not beating her face in…”
“Don’t do anything stupid,” Jason practically growled.
“Of course not.”
I pictured Dani smiling impishly. “I’m not surprised about the Re-gens. I’m almost positive we had one of them with us a few days ago.”
“What? Really?” Dani seemed almost afraid to ask.
“It was Becca.” I paused. “Jake’s sister. We didn’t know what she was. We just knew she was…wrong.” Dying and coming back to life definitely wasn’t normal. “We have to at least try to get her out too, Dani. She’s back in the Colony now, but she may not be willing to leave.”
“Okay, wow. That’s crazy. But, yeah, I’ll see what I can find out about her. What else has been going on down there?”
Jason crouched on the ground, seeming to focus on controlling his anger. “Not a fucking thing,” he grumbled.
I hesitated, wondering how much to tell her, but I knew Dani would be hurt if she found out I was keeping things from her, especially when it came to the box. “Well, we had a few run-ins with some Crazies…and we opened the box. But mostly—”
“You opened it? What’s in it?”
I was reluctant to answer her. Jason and I hadn’t spoken about the box since that day. Beyond that, I wasn’t sure how much I could tell Dani without breaking down. I gazed over at the rest of my friends. They were leaning against their horses casually as they waited for our conversation with Dani to come to an end. Jake picked a piece of grass from his horse’s mane and looked at me questioningly. His idle expression transformed to one of deep concern.
Jason cleared his throat, capturing my attention. He glanced up at me, his eyes full of caution. “Are you getting tired, Red? Do you need to go? I don’t want you to get worn out, and—”
“No, I’m fine—better than fine. It’s easy now.”
Jason ran his fingers through his hair. It was nearly as dark as mine and longer than I’d seen it in over a decade. He said nothing.
“Um, guys…the question about what was in the box wasn’t supposed to be a stumper…”
Oh, right. “We found out our dad was a liar,” I blurted. “And that our mom’s alive. Or, at least, she was. There was a letter from her explaining…well, not much.”
“Holy crap.”
“And there was a picture of her.” My voice was cold, but it was better than crying about it.
“What did she look like?” Dani asked. She sounded nervous.
My eyes shifted to Jason’s once more, and I recalled the argument we’d had before opening the box. “Like me,” I said. I wasn’t sure if the quietness of my voice was a result of guilt, sadness, or anger. It was probably all three.
A long moment passed, and when Dani didn’t respond, Jason said, “Red? Are you okay? Are you sure this isn’t too much?”
“No, I’m fine, I promise. I just…that’s a huge thing. I’m trying to wrap my mind around it.” She paused, then added, “Did you learn anything else?”
“Umm, that our dad was in the military, and that’s how they…”
Jason stood, his head lowered and hands clenched into fists.
“It doesn’t really matter anymore,” I muttered, hoping to spare Jason further pain.
“Oh, I…I can’t believe he hid all that for so long. But don’t you think he must’ve had a reason? Do you have any clue as to why he kept all that from you?”
I shook my head, lazily stroking Wings’s velvety nose before I realized Dani couldn’t see me. “It doesn’t matter,” I said bitterly, not wanting to spend another second thinking about my parents and their lies. “They’re dead now, so we’ll never know. We need to focus on getting you out of there.”
“I know. I’ve only got a few days left until General Douchebag starts using me to draw in more people…which would be bad. Really, really bad. The Re-gens aren’t the worst of his science experiments.”
Re-gens…Becca…“Father”…the General. It was all starting to make sense.
Jason looked at me sharply. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know much, but there’s apparently another program being developed here that creates mind-slaves without the need for mind manipulation or labs and electricity. They’re not Re-gens—they’re something else. They call them T-Rs.”
“Jesus, this guy is taking over the world one brain-dead person at a time. I repeat: we’ve got to get you out of there, D,” I said, gesturing emphatically.
Jason started pacing again. “Exactly how long until you need to get out?”
“I start at the comm center in three days.”
“Then we’ll get you out the night before you’re supposed to start. That gives you a couple more days to gather intel. What do you already know?”
“Um…what do you want to know?”
“We need guard numbers and patterns, the General’s schedule throughout the day, even at night, and anything else you think might help us plan the extraction.”
“Gosh, you guys don’t want much, do you?” Dani joked.
“It’s not funny, D,” I said, and Jason growled, “We just want you back.”
There was a long pause. “I know, sorry. Bad joke.”
“Is there anyone you can trust?” I asked. “Anyone who can help you?”
“Um, yeah, there are a few people I can trust. Gabe, and those two Re-gens I told you about. I’ll scout around tomorrow night with Camille and Mase—they’re the Re-gens. They know a lot about this place and have some ideas about where to look.”
“Be careful,” I pleaded.
“Promise. As for the info about the guards and stuff, and the General’s schedule, I’ll ask Gabe tomorrow at dinner—”
Oh shit, I thought, closing my eyes.
“What do you mean, ‘dinner’?” Jason asked, his voice low and cold.
I had the impression that Dani was smiling. “Calm down, Jason. I’m having dinner with Gabe to interrogate him for more information that’ll help you guys plan the breakout. Crap, you’d think it was a date or something…”
“Is he coming with you when you leave?” Jason asked quietly.
Dani didn’t say anything, and I scoured Jason’s face for signs of boiling emotions. There was only a glint in his eyes, a dangerous glint.
“Dani…?” Though Jason’s voice was soft, it was filled with warning.
“Yes, he’s coming with me. But—”
“Good. I’ve got a few words for him.”
“Jason, it’s not like—”
“After what he did, it doesn’t matter what it’s—”
“Alright you guys, this isn’t helping.” I glared at Jason, willing him to calm down. “You can argue about this later when we’ve got her back,” I reassured him. “…and when Gabe is within punching distance,” I muttered.
Jason grunted.
Dani sighed mentally. “Fine. But you should know, Camille and Mase might be coming, too.”
“Anyone else tagging along?” Jason asked. “Maybe you should make a Colony-wide announcement.”
“No,” Dani said tartly. “But if you think it’s a good idea, maybe I will.”
Jason closed his eyes, but the hint of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Sorry,” he said.
There was a pause, then Dani said, “Me too. I just…I miss you, Jason. I miss everything…I miss—”
“Okay guys,” I blurted, unable to handle their love-ness. “I’m gonna go. Dani, please be safe and promise me you’ll let us know if plans change and we need to get you out sooner.”
“I promise,” she said.
Jason didn’t even glance at me before wandering off into the sparse woods beyond the stable to continue h
is conversation with Dani in private.
I turned to face the group, all of their curious, concerned eyes on me. “Come on,” I said, snatching Wings’s reins and leading her toward the stable. “I’ll fill you guys in.”
As I ran through everything with them, answering the few questions I could, I couldn’t stop my mind from wandering to thoughts about Dani and Jason and how obscenely much they cared about one another.
Jake had proven he cared about me many times. I knew that if it was in his power, like Jason with Dani, he would never let any physical harm come to me. He could protect me from bullets and transfuse his blood with mine when I needed it. He could wash my hair and help keep me from freezing at night—but he couldn’t protect me from the tension that tightened my neck and shoulders or the dull, incessant ache that pulsed inside me at the thought of him leaving, like he’d almost done.
I didn’t have a choice with Mom—she was gone before I could even get to know her. Jason had been gone since we were little kids, leaving me alone with our broken dad, who was always distant and preoccupied. But it was different with Jake. He’d never made me any promises. He’s not tied to me like my family was supposed to be. I rolled my eyes. The frequent conversations I was having with myself hadn’t escaped my attention.
After I unsaddled and brushed Wings in her stall, I moved to the next stall over to check on Shadow. He was standing in the shade of his paddock, his head drooping as he snoozed. His ears perked when he heard my footsteps, and his head shot up. Without the halter, his wounds were able to heal, and the raw flesh lining his forehead and jaw was already scabbing over.
I leaned against the fence, crossing my arms on the top slat. “Hey, fella. How you feeling?” I asked him softly. He looked better. Although his muscles were wasted, his chest was broad and his legs were long. He was a good five and a half feet tall. His onyx coat had blue undertones in the dying light. He walked toward me, his ears never moving from my direction.
“Are you going to let me pet you again?” I asked, holding out the back of my hand.
He stopped at the railing and bent his head down to hang languorously, waiting to be touched.
“Well, that was easier than I expected.” I smiled and reached out to brush his nose with the back of my hand.
He took a step closer, making me lean back to allow him into my space.
“You’re affectionate today.” Being careful of his wounds, I stroked his face, moving his long bangs to the side so I could rub his forehead and velvety ears.
I stayed with him until the sun started to set behind the hills. The clouds were soft and airy, giving the appearance that pink frosting had been spread throughout the pale purple backdrop of the sky.
“How’s he doing?” Jake’s voice was low and soft as he sidled up beside me.
I tensed, my insides both warmed and nauseated by his presence. He smelled so good, like leather and soap and hay, but the uncertain tone of his voice was unfamiliar. I shook all pesky, lustful thoughts from my head.
“He’s doing really well.” I examined the dwindling amount of grass in the pasture before shifting my eyes to a cut on my finger. I wondered how I’d injured myself as I looked everywhere but at the formidable man standing directly beside me.
“Bet you’ll be riding him sooner than you think.” Jake’s attempt to be normal was admirable, but I cringed inwardly. I couldn’t bear the awkward small talk. I shrugged, looking at Shadow, not sure if he’d ever let me onto his back. But then he nudged my shoulder, wanting more attention. “Yeah, maybe.”
There was a pause, a breath that turned into three, and then four.
“What’s going on, Zoe?” Jake asked, suddenly closer to me. His body heat seared through my clothes and into my skin. I wanted to melt into him, but I didn’t want to feel the vulnerability that always came with being alone with him…not anymore. I stepped away.
“Why are you—are you still upset with me about what happened in town? Back at the river, I thought…”
I shook my head, not sure if I was lying. “I’m just tired, and I’ve got a lot on my mind. There’s a lot going on, and…I think I’m just going to call it an early night.” I turned toward the house.
Jake reached out and gripped my upper arm. “Please stop walking away from me.” He paused. “Is it Dani?”
I shook my head again.
He let go of me, both of our arms dropping to our sides in exasperation. “You’re not like Jason,” he said bitterly.
I glared at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You can’t hold everything inside like he does.” I could tell Jake felt slighted. “You tried that before and it didn’t work, remember?” I could feel his anger rising, and I saw an image of me in his mind—the memory of my breakdown at Fort Knox, the night reality had crashed into me and I’d crumpled to the floor in the cafeteria, sobbing.
“Thanks for the reminder,” I quipped quietly.
“Tell me what it is.” The injured look in his imploring brown eyes made it impossible not to say something.
“I can’t—”
“Why not?” He took a step closer, and I remembered how his arms had felt wrapped around me down at the river.
“Because—”
“Because why?”
“Because you’re just going to leave!” I blurted. “That’s why I never…I can’t keep letting you in, Jake. I know that’s how this thing between us ends.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes! And I don’t have the strength for that. Not right now.” My voice was unsteady and quiet. “Besides, with Becca and everything…things are changing.”
His eyes widened.
I was floundering, losing my grasp on reason, wanting to give in to instant gratification, to just fall into his arms. But I couldn’t allow myself to, so I tried again. “Things are already—”
“Things are already what?” He braced his hands against the fence, pinning me in place.
“—hard enough!” I straightened. “I can’t—”
“Can’t or don’t want to? There’s a difference. You have no idea—”
I pushed past him, on the verge of unrelenting tears. “I’m sorry, Jake, but I can’t do this. Please. Just let me go.”
Overwhelmed, I hurried into the house, relieved there was no one around to ask me any more questions. I passed the parlor and ran up the stairs to my room. Jake’s room. Our room. I looked at the double bed, the old patchwork quilt covered by our conjoined, nylon sleeping bags. Just looking at our bed—the one that felt like it changed form weekly, but always felt the same with us in it together—the tears I’d been holding back began streaming down my cheeks. Taking a resolute step forward, I unzipped the sleeping bags, leaving them separated on top of the mattress. I was too exhausted to think anymore.
Leaving the door open, I hoped the heat from the fire downstairs would find its way in during the later hours of the night, since I wouldn’t have Jake’s body to warm me. I was too focused on the growing emptiness I felt to pay much attention to the whispers and movement in the parlor below. I just need some sleep, I told myself. I’ll pull myself together in the morning.
I pulled my sweatshirt over my head, then wrestled to get out of my boots, eventually flinging them across the floor in frustration. My patience was wearing thin, and my bones were still cold from the river. I pulled off my pants, too exhausted to worry about finding and donning my pajamas, and crawled into the soft flannel lining of the sleeping bag. I exhaled a long, deep breath and nestled into its warmth.
The sound of the wooden floorboards creaking jarred me from the brink of sobs. My back was to the door, but I heard heavy footsteps entering the room and then boots falling to the floor. I heard the muted sound of metal being set on the wooden vanity and then the click-clack of Cooper’s nails as he padded into the room to sleep on the floor on Jake’s side of the bed.
The mattress depressed behind me as Jake lay down. He turned to me, curling his warm body aroun
d mine outside of my sleeping bag. His arm came around my middle, pulling me against him, and his worry and sadness enshrouded me.
I held my uneven breaths, hoping I could suffocate my sobs.
Jake said nothing. He whispered no reassurances, nor did he ask me to confide in him again. But he held me, and I clutched on to his strong, comforting arms as they tightened around me. I sobbed silently, thankful the room was dark.
21
DANI
MARCH 21, 1AE
Part of me wanted to stand up and pace, and part of me craved to reach out with my telepathy to tell Zoe and Jason that I’d found their mom…but I couldn’t do either. The latter was off-limits because, though I was certain Dr. Wesley was their mother, she was also the one who created the Virus, killing almost every person my friends and I loved. Knowing what she’d done would hurt them more than her abandonment. They were better off thinking the Virus killed her.
As for the standing, I couldn’t do that because I was in Dr. Wesley’s office with her, trying to keep myself from attacking her. I had to sit on my hands to keep from scratching out her eyeballs.
Only a few words had been exchanged since I’d stormed into her office, and at least a quarter of an hour had passed in verbal silence. Staring into her jewel-blue eyes, I despised her, even more so for her striking resemblance to my two favorite people, and for what she’d done to them…abandoning them. How did I not see it before? I can’t believe I was so blind!
Finally, my voice low and cold, I managed to ask, “Why?” When she didn’t respond, I jumped to my feet and stalked to her desk, planted my hands on the surface, and leaned in. “Tell me why you did it. Tell me why you killed everyone.”
She blinked, slowly, the rest of her body going completely still. “For my family. For my children. I had no choice.” Does she know that I know who she is?
“There’s always a choice,” I snapped, but the words didn’t sound as harsh as I’d intended. She was talking about Zoe and Jason—my Zoe and Jason—and, unwillingly, some of my fiery hatred for this woman dampened. But I want to hate her… “Explain,” I demanded.
Dr. Wesley sighed, and her strength of will seemed to deflate, like she was letting go of a burden she’d carried all her life. She suddenly appeared an older, more haggard woman than she’d been a few seconds earlier. “Before my children were born,” she said softly, “before my husband and I were married, I worked for a civilian company contracted by the Department of Defense. I made a breakthrough that landed our little lab on the DOD’s radar, and the opportunity to receive their funding was one we couldn’t turn down, so we relocated from our small Maryland town to a military base.” She laughed softly, a sound devoid of humor, and shook her head. “Shortly after my team and I moved, I met my husband.”
Into The Fire (The Ending Series) Page 25