“We’ve got a lot to get done between now and Monday, don’t we?” Anna pulled a notepad from her purse and started a list.
Sue turned around in the front seat and gave Anna a motherly scowl. “We? There is no ‘we’ Miss Anna Marie Zimmerman. Read that last part to her again, Jake. I don’t think she heard you clearly.”
Jake laughed, surprised by the way Sue put Anna in her place. Anna, in turn, glared at her mom before releasing a sigh. She put away the notepad, leaned her head against Jake’s chest, and closed her eyes. He placed his arm around her, drawing her closer.
“Maybe I’ll rest a bit right now,” Anna said, settling into Jake’s warmth.
Anna was due to arrive at the hospital by nine Monday morning.
Jake was up and out the door well before five and wasn’t surprised to see all the lights on at the Zimmerman home when he pulled up at their house.
With Lisa’s help, Sue made breakfast while Sam and Ken sipped coffee. Anna hadn’t yet emerged from her room, but running water indicated she was in the shower. Jake took a mug out of the cupboard and helped himself to a cup of coffee, then sat down next to Sam. Sue placed a platter of bacon, fluffy scrambled eggs, and biscuits on the table, but no one seemed to be in the mood to eat.
“We really should eat something.” Sue scooped a small spoonful of eggs onto her plate. “It’s going to be a long day ahead of us.” The doctor explained that due to the nature of the surgery, it would take many, many hours. The family was in for a day of sitting and waiting.
“Come on, guys,” Lisa said, picking up a biscuit and breaking it open. “We’re going to sit here and have a normal breakfast like we’ve done many times before and act like everything is fine. We’re going to be as normal as possible for Anna’s sake. She wouldn’t want…”
“What would I not want?” Anna asked as she walked into the room, dressed in jeans and a warm sweater. She looked so pale and exhausted Jake could hardly stand to see her so ill. If there were any way they could trade places, he would have done it in a minute. He stood and kissed her cheek, putting his arm around her as she finished her trek to the table and sank onto a chair.
“To miss this great breakfast,” Sam finished for his wife. “Sorry you can’t eat anything this morning, sis. I guess I’ll have to make up for your share.”
“Only if I leave you a few crumbs,” Jake teased. He hoped their joking would fool Anna. He didn’t know about the rest of them, but it was going to take all his fortitude to eat his breakfast and keep it down.
Even though he knew the surgery should go well, there was something about the thought of Anna’s head being cut open and someone digging around in it that unsettled him.
After pretending an interest in the meal, Lisa and Sue made short work of the breakfast dishes while the men finished the chores before it was time to leave. Sam and Lisa planned to take her car while Ken, Sue, Anna and Jake would go in Sue’s car.
Once they arrived at the hospital, a nurse whisked Anna away while Sue filled out the necessary paperwork. Jake and Ken paced around as Sam and Lisa followed signs to the cafeteria to get coffee.
“You two might as well cool your heels because you’ve got hours and hours ahead for pacing.” Sue glared at them from her chair where she held a clipboard, filling out Anna’s information. “Besides, you’re making me nervous with your fidgeting.”
Jake sat down and jiggled his foot. When Sue frowned, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
It was going to be the longest day of his life.
After what seemed like hours, but was closer to forty-five minutes, a nurse came and told them they could sit with Anna until she was ready to go to surgery. They crowded into a tiny room where the guys leaned against the walls while Sue and Lisa sat in the two available chairs.
Uncomfortable with the tense, somber mood, Sam looked at his dad. “Do you remember the time Anna and I…” He distracted everyone with funny stories from their childhood. By the time the doctor arrived to speak with the family, they were in much better spirits.
“Aren’t you a lively group for this early in the day?” Dr. O’Brien asked, smiling at them. “Are you ready to do this, Anna? The quicker we get started, the sooner you can set your feet on the road to recovery.”
“Then let’s get going,” Anna said with a bravado she was far from feeling.
What if something happened? What if she never woke up, or woke up with facial paralysis? What if she woke up completely deaf?
She didn’t really have a choice, but she was scared. Too many things could go wrong. The last thing she wanted was to become a burden to her loved ones. Thoughts of loved ones turned her gaze to Jake.
If anything happened to her, she wouldn’t hold him to any promises. He was much too full of life to be stuck with someone who would never be whole.
As a nurse began escorting the family out of the room and showing them where they could wait, Anna asked to speak privately with Jake.
“Of course,” Dr. O’Brien said, patting her hand. “We’ll give you five minutes, would that be satisfactory?”
“Yes, thank you.” Anna was grateful for the doctor’s understanding. Jake stepped close to the bed and held her hand. Cold and clammy, his hand lacked its customary warmth.
“Jake, are you okay? You don’t look like you feel well.”
The irony of the situation nearly made him laugh. His fiancée, the love of his life, was about to have a brain tumor removed and she was concerned he didn’t feel well. He bent over and brushed her lips with his.
“Anna, I love you so much. What did I ever do to deserve you?” He attempted to keep the emotion he felt from completely overwhelming him.
“Come on, now, fancy boy. We both know you literally swept me off my feet.” Anna hoped her teasing would lighten the somber expression in Jake’s eyes, but it wasn’t working. She decided to say what weighed heavy on her mind and heart.
“Jake, if something happens, if something bad happens in surgery, I want you to walk away and not look back. Promise you’ll let me go if it comes to that.”
If she didn’t stop with this foolishness, Anna was going to cause him to break down in front of her. Jake leaned over so his face was just inches from hers and looked deep into her eyes.
“Anna, I asked you to marry me because I want to spend every day of our lives together, no matter what. No matter what, I’m going to love you until my very last breath. You got that, Sugar? No more of this kind of talk. I’m here for the long haul and that’s all there is to it. Besides, you’re going to breeze through this surgery and be fine in no time.”
He rubbed her nose with his and pulled back, letting the love in his heart shine in his eyes. “You aren’t the only one who can be stubborn and muleheaded, you know.”
Anna smiled at him. When she opened her eyes, Jake would be waiting for her. He gave her another quick kiss as Dr. O’Brien walked in the door.
“All right, Anna, time to get this party started.”
As a nurse pushed her bed out into the hall, Anna grasped Jake’s hand and he walked beside her. When they reached a door at the end of the hall, they stopped briefly. Jake gave her one more kiss and squeezed her hand. “I love you forever, Sugar. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
Anna smiled through the tears that formed in her eyes. “I love you, Jake, forever and always.”
They were only an hour into the wait when Jake looked up as his mom, dad, Callan, Clay, Josh, and Jenna walked down the hallway.
Surprised, he jumped to his feet and greeted them.
“What are you doing here?” Jake asked, unable to hide his relief at seeing his family.
“Goodness, Jake,” his mother said, dabbing at her teary eyes. “Anna’s going to be our daughter soon. Did you really think we wouldn’t be here? Bobbi and Steve would have come as well, but they’re watching the twins and will pick up Audrey and Emma after school this afternoon. They send their love.”
Tom and Ken shook
hands while Sue and Maggie hugged and cried, consoling each other. Callan took Jake’s arm and gave it an affectionate squeeze.
“I know how hard it is to wait, Jake. It’s a painful, difficult thing. You waited with me when Clay was here, so now we’ll wait with you.”
Years before, Clay had been horribly injured in a freak accident at the ranch. The doctors weren’t sure he would survive. Callan waited through days of uncertainty, praying he would live.
Jake spent many hours sitting with her then, along with other members of the family. As worried as he was today, he needed the reminder that things could be much worse. Anna was having a routine surgery. She would come out of it and be fine.
He couldn’t imagine what it would be like if he had no idea of the outcome.
“Those were some hard days, weren’t they Callan?” He gave her another hug. “I’m so glad you guys came. It means a lot to me.”
All the family members were well acquainted from the time they’d spent working out at The Cottage and gathered for impromptu dinners. Even so, Jake chose to sit next to Clay. Something about the companionship they shared made it comforting to sit together and know the other one cared.
“You know, Jake, if you could harness all the prayers being said on Anna’s behalf today and use them to heal, she’d come running out that door any second,” Clay said, in a conversational tone. “I don’t know how you happened to fall for a girl so completely opposite of your so-called type, but she’s wonderful. You couldn’t have found anyone better suited to you.”
“No, I don’t think so either.” Jake turned retrospective, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. “She’s too good for me, Clay. I feel so humbled and honored that she loves me. I wasted my life up until the moment I met Anna. Completely wasted it. What was I thinking? I was so shallow, self-serving, demoralized to an extent. I love Anna, but every time I’m with her, I see all that wasted time, all the things I should never have done. I’m not good enough to shine her shoes, much less be her husband.”
Clay sat and studied Jake for a moment. He’d always been a nice kid, helpful and thoughtful of others. He worked hard and was as honest as the day is long.
The one area that had always made his family shake their heads was the way he ran around with the “loose crowd,” as his mother liked to refer to the young man’s friends. Jake could be obnoxious and somewhat conceited when he was with them. He refused to set foot in church, often sleeping off the effects of his Saturday night fun. Most likely, Jake couldn’t even recall all the girls he’d dallied with over the years.
Although he never said anything, Clay had a very good idea of all the things Jake regretted.
Since meeting Anna, it all seemed to go away. Jake became a more genuine, caring person, settled and grounded. The things that used to be a priority to him now made him think of all the time he wasted in pursuing them. The things he used to make fun of now seemed very important to him.
It appeared that Jake had finally grown up. Clay was certain a large part of that could be attributed to Anna — a sweet, gentle girl who loved Jake openly and wholeheartedly. Clay was sure Anna never said anything that encouraged Jake to leave behind his former life. Her actions and example led Jake to set his feet on a better path.
“She’s been good for you. Since Anna’s been in the picture, you’ve completely changed. Callan and I are so very proud of the man you’ve become.”
Jake didn’t answer, couldn’t answer. He needed time to deal with the emotion that once again threatened to choke him. He simply nodded his head, unable to look Clay in the eye for fear of losing control of his feelings.
Sensing a need to lighten Jake’s load before they both succumbed to the sentimental feelings, Clay playfully thumped him on the back. “Besides, I figure if she has no problem popping a rattlesnake on the head with a hammer, she can handle you with one hand tied behind her back.”
Jake chuckled and grinned at Clay with heartfelt gratitude. “Yep. I have to walk a tight line, I tell you.”
After waiting six hours for some news, Jake was ready to climb the walls. He paced the floor until even he thought he might wear a groove in it.
Callan took him for a walk even though it was bitterly cold outside and the January wind sliced through them. Jake put his arm around her as they walked along the path through the frozen flower garden where she’d spent hours when Clay was in the hospital.
“I used to walk out here to think while I waited for Clay to come back to me,” Callan said as they strolled down the frozen pathway. “The two weeks Clay was in a coma gave me plenty of time to look back over my life and see every single moment I’d wasted, every unkind word I could never take back, every lost opportunity that would never come again to tell him I loved him. I learned the hard way, Jake. Don’t live your life with regrets. Each day comes to you as a gift. Be thankful for it and use it wisely. I know you have regrets from things you’ve done. We all do. The secret to moving forward is to leave them in the past. Forgive yourself. Ask God to forgive you, then let it go. Live fully in today and look hopefully toward tomorrow. You have a beautiful future waiting for you with a very special girl. Accept that blessing and be thankful for it every single day.”
Jake stopped walking and looked at Callan. Unable to speak, he gave her a long hug. “Thanks, Callan. Thanks for understanding. I wasn’t sure anyone else could.”
Callan placed her gloved hands on his cheeks and smiled. “If anyone does, Jake, it’s me. I wasted three years of my life wallowing in regret. Three years that I could have spent loving Clay instead of pushing him away. Thankfully, I got a second chance.”
Callan looped her arm around Jake’s and they continued their walk. “Anna is a wonderful girl. It would take someone pretty special to deserve you and I know she’s the one.”
With a teasing look his direction, she gave him a knowing smile. “She’d have to be to put up with all your baloney. Now, what’s this nonsense about you not letting her decorate the master bedroom? She and I had it all planned then you insisted she leave the room to you to design. Just what, exactly, do you know about interior decorating?”
Glad for a safe topic and Callan’s teasing, Jake warmed to the subject. “I want to make our bedroom extra special, Callan. I know she has all these plans, and she’s sticking to a budget, but I want it to be something… magical, not practical.”
“And do you have any thoughts on how to make it magical?” Callan asked with an encouraging smile.
“Well, sort of… a few… I was actually hoping you could help me.”
“You know I’d love to. If you tell me what you have in mind, I’m sure we can figure something out.”
“I was thinking…”
The surgery took nine excruciating hours. When news finally arrived that the surgery was over and Anna was doing well, the entire family breathed a weary sigh of relief.
Dr O’Brien walked up to the group, exhausted but wearing a smile.
“Sorry it took longer than we planned, but the surgery went very well. No problems at all. The tumor was harder to remove than we anticipated, but we got it all. Once she’s recovered, Anna should not have any more problems from it. She’s in recovery right now and we’ll soon move her to ICU. She’s going to be groggy and out of it, but I’ll have a nurse let you know when you can visit her. I advise one at a time and just a few of you for tonight. She’ll be in ICU until probably tomorrow afternoon before moving to a regular room. If she does well, she should be able to go home before the weekend.”
Maggie and Tom, along with Clay, Callan, Josh, and Jenna, stayed until a nurse came to tell them she would let one visitor in to see Anna.
“We’ll go on home now, Jake, but we can come back tomorrow to sit with you, if you like,” Maggie said, hugging her son tightly.
“I’ll call you in the morning, Mom, and let you know,” Jake said. He longed to run down the hall to see Anna, but knew it was right to give Sue the first opportunity.
She offered him a watery smile and patted his arm. “I don’t think so, Jake. If she wakes up, you need to be the first person she sees. You go ahead. Just don’t forget, I want to get in there soon and see my baby girl.”
Jake offered a nod of thanks and followed the nurse. When he entered the room, Anna was hooked up to a variety of monitors. She didn’t look as pale as she’d been the last week and she seemed restful.
After sitting in a chair next to the narrow bed, he took her hand in his and gently stroked his thumb across the back of it.
“Hey, Sugar, you did just fine.” He spoke quietly, then realized Anna wouldn’t be able to hear him even if she was awake. He raised his voice to a normal level and leaned toward her. “Dr. O’Brien said everything went well and you should be home by the weekend. That’s great news, isn’t it? Mom and Dad came with Clay, Callan, Josh, and Jenna and they stayed all day. Did you know that Callan and Clay think you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me? Well, to tell you the truth, I agree with them. I love you, Anna. So much.”
Jake sat for a few minutes, holding her hand, and watching her sleep. Mindful of her family waiting for a turn to see her, he got up from the chair. As he placed Anna’s hand back on her blankets, he heard her whisper, “Don’t go.”
Again lifting her hand, he leaned over and softly kissed her cheek. “I’m right here, Anna. I’m right here.”
Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at him. Even in her groggy state, he could see a smile flitting around the corners of her mouth.
“Love you, fancy boy,” she whispered so quietly he had to lean over to hear her.
He grinned. “I love you, Sugar. Forever and always. Your mom’s practically dancing to get in here, so I’m going to let her have a turn, but I’ll be back later.”
“Hmm.” She shut her eyes and drifted back to sleep
Heart of Love Page 21