Professor Picton was very complimentary. She doesn’t praise people often, so you should be proud of yourself.
Please pass along my congratulations to your father and his girlfriend. He’s a good guy and I’m happy for them.
I’m back in Vermont. My dad’s health continues to improve. Thanks for asking. I’ll tell him and Mom that you said hello.
I’m determined to meet Professor Picton’s deadlines, so my parents have hired more help at the farm. I hope to go on the job market this fall and pick up some interviews at the Modern Language Association meeting. If I don’t get a job, I’m back on the farm for another year.
I’m glad we had a chance to go to lunch. It was good to see you.
There were some things I should have said, but didn’t. I guess I should say them now.
I think we need to go our separate ways. You’re married and I need to move on.
Maybe it will be easier for me in the future. But in the meantime, we should stop emailing.
I don’t mean to hurt you, so please don’t take it that way. I care about you, but I’ve been thinking about this for a while and believe it’s for the best.
Be happy, Rabbit.
Paul
Gabriel’s eyes focused on hers. She looked stricken.
“I sent him a couple of emails. It took him days to reply. And look at what he said.”
Gabriel crouched down, placing his hand on Julia’s knee. “He’s in love with you. You know that.”
“I know he loved me once.”
Gabriel looked at her gravely. “Did you stop loving me when I left Toronto?”
She nibbled on the edge of one of her fingernails. “Of course not.”
“If he truly loves you, he’ll love you for a long time. Maybe forever.”
“Then why wouldn’t he want to be friends?” She turned troubled eyes in his direction.
“Because it’s too painful.” Gabriel cupped her cheek. “If I’d lost you to him, I couldn’t be friends with you. I’d simply have to love you from a distance.”
“I never meant to hurt him,” she whispered.
“I’m sure he realizes that.”
“Why didn’t he try to talk to me about it when we were in Oxford?”
“He didn’t want to upset you before your lecture.”
Julia turned suspicious eyes in her husband’s direction. “Did you know about this?”
Gabriel hesitated, ever so slightly.
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“For the same reason he didn’t bring it up. We wanted you to be in the best frame of mind at the conference.”
She pushed her chair back from the table. “So you and Paul discussed this? You discussed me?”
“Briefly, yes.”
“You should have told me!”
“I’m telling you now. Truthfully, Julianne, I thought he’d change his mind. But once again, Paul has surprised me.”
“You dole out information like vitamins.”
Gabriel lifted his head, a smile playing about his lips. “Vitamins?”
“You know what I’m saying. You and your secrets.” She rose to her feet, but he caught her wrist.
“I don’t have secrets from you. We agreed not to disclose everything from our pasts for the sake of moving forward. But if you want full disclosure, I’ll give it to you.” He lifted his chin in challenge. “And then I’ll ask you for full disclosure. For example, did you happen to have a conversation with Paul about dropping out of Harvard?”
“What?”
“He tore a strip off me, telling me I had to make sure you didn’t abandon your dreams.”
Julia’s eyes widened.
“When did he say this?”
“In Oxford, right after your lunch. So don’t lecture me on keeping secrets, Julianne. I’m not having lunch with old flames and telling them about our marital conflicts.”
“I wasn’t doing that.”
“Well, what do you call it, then?”
She lifted her hands and then let them drop to her sides. “It just—came out. I was worried and needed someone to talk to.”
“Did it ever occur to you that you already have someone to talk to?” Gabriel glanced between them significantly. “Someone infinitely closer?”
“I needed time to think.”
“I can understand that. I can even support it. But time to think and going to someone else to talk about our problems are two different things. That was not the right thing to do, Julianne, and you know it.” His tone was reproving.
Julia stared, expecting him to explode into temper. Surprisingly, he didn’t.
(Which demonstrated, clearly, that the Apocalypse was nigh.)
Gabriel continued. “I don’t share our problems with anyone. And yes, sometimes I dole out information, as you so charmingly put it, in order to protect you. But it is always, always, done with love.”
His fingers slid from her wrist to her hand. “I tried to persuade Paul not to cut off contact with you. Not because that was what I wanted, but because I didn’t want to see you hurt.”
Julia blinked back tears that had suddenly appeared. “What hurts is the fact that you don’t trust me.”
“I trust you.”
“But not with your family history.”
He clenched his teeth. “You know what I know—that my mother’s family disowned her and left me to foster care after her death. My father abandoned us. Do you want me to investigate such people? Just so I can discover more unsavory details?”
“They made you, Gabriel. There has to be something in your family history that’s worth knowing. And of course I don’t want you to be upset. But your family is part of you. If we have children, eventually they’ll ask about their grandparents.”
Gabriel dropped her hand, his face a mask of stone.
“If I could expunge them from my memory, I would. I won’t have our children so polluted.”
She lifted her chin. “A man as good and as brilliant as you came from that pollution. And so will our children.”
His expression softened. He raised her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. “Thank you,” he whispered.
“You’re right, I shouldn’t have gone to Paul with my worries. But he was my friend.” Julia continued to fight back the tears.
He pressed her face into his chest.
Chapter Twenty-seven
At bedtime, Gabriel strode into the master suite. He was barefoot, clad only in a white shirt and jeans. When he caught sight of Julianne, he began rolling up his sleeves.
“Are you still on your cycle?”
Julia was standing by the washroom, having just finished brushing her teeth and washing her face.
“I finished yesterday.”
“Good. Take off your clothes and lie on the bed.”
She stared at him.
“Now.”
His eyes seemed to burn through her. Without argument, she undressed quickly, dropping her clothes to the floor before climbing onto the bed.
“On your stomach. Eyes closed.”
She couldn’t help trembling at the tone of his voice, but she did what he said. With eyes closed, her other senses were heightened. She felt the breath of air from the open window. She could hear Gabriel’s sure footsteps against the tiled floor.
Soon he chose music to fill the air, “The Look of Love” performed by Diana Krall. Julia opened her eyes and saw that he’d turned the lights out and lit candles next to the bed. A luminescent cloud filled her gaze.
“Eyes closed,” he commanded.
She did as she was bidden and felt the mattress move. His hands found her waist, lifting her in order to slide a pillow beneath her hips. Seemingly satisfied with her position, his lips blazed a trail from dimpl
e to dimple before coming to rest at the base of her spine.
A single finger traced up to the nape of her neck, gliding across her shoulders. Another pillow was placed under her naked breasts before he stretched her arms above her head.
“A work of art.” He breathed in her ear before kissing just behind it, drawing the skin into his mouth. His palm traveled the length of her back twice before exploring her bottom and legs.
The bed shifted and the music changed to Sting’s “I Burn for You.” Julia felt more than a fluttering of desire.
She could feel his presence next to the bed, but she heard nothing until he set a couple of objects on the table. She turned her head in the direction of the sound, but Gabriel placed a hand over her eyes, blocking her sight.
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” He passed his hand over the back of her head, pulling her hair to one side. “I’ve missed you these past few days. I’ve been looking forward to getting reacquainted.”
Julia heard him straighten, and after a few moments she heard the rustling of clothing and the sound of his belt hitting the floor. Then she heard the subtle sound of his underwear sliding over his skin.
She opened her left eye, drinking in the sight of her naked husband, watching as he turned his back in order to arrange things on the table. She sighed in appreciation of his form and closed her eyes once again.
She heard something liquid and the sound of his hands rubbing together before the bed moved once again. Then he was massaging her shoulders.
She groaned.
“You like that, do you?”
She hummed. The scent of satsuma and sandalwood filled her nose: the scent of their first time together.
“Thank you.”
“I’ve only just begun.”
He took his time, worshipping her body with his hands. On occasion, his nakedness would rub up against her. She would move to deepen the contact, but he would only chuckle and retreat.
After what seemed like hours she drifted into an almost unconscious state, totally and completely relaxed. All thoughts of anything other than Gabriel flew out of her head.
He brought his mouth to her neck, drawing the flesh against his lips and gently sucking. His large hands slid the length of her arms until they took hold of her wrists, stretching them out to her sides like a cross.
Then his naked body was over hers, pressing his front to her back.
She murmured at the contact.
“If it’s too much, tell me.”
It was an intense feeling. She preferred frontal contact, but there was something about Gabriel spread over her like a second skin that was especially intimate and erotic.
When he heard her breathing grow shallow, he took his weight with his knees, separating her legs. She inhaled and he placed a hand under her to cup her right breast.
Julia moaned her approval.
He moved his left hand beneath her to the junction of her thighs, his fingers sliding against her skin.
He petted her, his hands working in concert, drawing pleasure from both parts of her body. Then, ever so slowly, he pushed inside.
He stilled. The feeling of being inside her in this position was almost overwhelming. They always fit together well, but on this occasion, the sensation of their joining assailed his control.
Julia pushed back against him. “Please.”
“Don’t move,” he rasped.
She froze and he felt her inhale shakily, her back moving against his front.
“You’re a goddess. But—don’t—move.”
Julia smiled against the sheets, and then ever so slowly, she lifted her hips and pressed back against him.
With a groan and a curse, he moved inside her, quickly and forcefully. Within minutes they were joining at a frantic pace, the air alive with the sounds of pleasure.
Julia lifted her hips one last time, and he felt her shudder around him.
He could contain himself no longer and rapidly followed.
When he’d caught his breath, he stretched over her like a banner, his lips smiling against her shoulder.
“This is transcendence,” he whispered. “I’ve never had better.”
Julia’s heart skipped a beat. “Never?”
“Never.”
His palm rested on her backside and he felt her body sink into the bed as a wide, joyous smile spread across her face.
Chapter Twenty-eight
The next morning Julia awoke to the sound of Gabriel snoring. He rarely snored, but when he did, it was a force of nature.
(Even Dante specialists snore, on occasion.)
She’d slept soundly all night. He’d given her a gift—the knowledge that she was the sexual pinnacle for him as he most gloriously was for her. A delicious feeling of anticipation and uncertainty filled her at the prospect of repeating the previous evening’s activities.
Gabriel loved her. That fact gave her confidence when it came to ceding control to him. But as C.S. Lewis had once written about Aslan, Gabriel was not tame. There was always a hint of danger and unpredictability surrounding him.
With caution in mind, she elected not to wake him and inform him that he was snoring. Instead, she decided to brave convention and skinny-dip in the hot tub.
The hot tub sat on the balcony just outside their bedroom. Since their closest neighbor was several miles away, Julia didn’t worry about dropping her bathrobe. She merely climbed into the tub and allowed the sun and gentle wind to caress her face, while the water soothed her tender spaces and sore muscles.
She’d almost fallen asleep when she heard the sound of Gabriel’s voice. She opened her eyes to find him clad only in his boxer shorts, talking on his iPhone.
She took a moment to admire the rugged beauty that was her untamed professor.
With her eyes, she traced the curves of his muscles, the lines and tendons that etched his arms. She watched the strands of hair that decorated his chest, and their cousins that led from his navel to the band of his underwear.
Julia glanced at their surroundings—at the hills and valleys surrounding their villa. No one could see them.
Without warning, Gabriel ended his conversation and put his phone on a table nearby.
“Can I join you? Or are you simply interested in a show?” He flexed his biceps theatrically.
Julia swallowed noisily. “Um, what’s included in the price of admission?”
He smiled slowly.
“Whatever you desire. I’m here to please, Mrs. Emerson.” He dropped his voice. “So name your pleasure.”
Julia indicated that he should approach, and he quickly divested himself of his shorts and joined her in the hot water. She straddled his lap, wrapping her arms around him. “All I want is the pleasure of your company.”
Gabriel hugged her and she rested her chin on his shoulder.
“Thank you for last night.”
“It is I who should be thanking you, Mrs. Emerson.”
“I’m a little dense sometimes. It only just occurred to me that you went to so much trouble last night because you were trying to cheer me up.” She toyed with his chest hair.
“That isn’t exactly true. We hadn’t made love for a few days, since you were on your cycle. That gave me time to think about how I wanted to go about reconnecting with you.” He lifted her hair off the back of her neck, and slid his fingers through it.
“I wanted you to know that I appreciate it. I appreciate the care you take in planning our times together and also that you knew I was feeling bad yesterday.” She placed her palm over his tattoo, near his heart. “And that you told me you’ve never had better.”
“It’s true. Sex is different with you. We have attraction, of course, and chemistry. But we also have affection and love. When all of those things are combined . . .” He
trailed off.
“Thank you.” She brushed her lips against his. “Who were you talking to on the phone?”
“Scott.”
“Oh, really? What did he want?”
“He and Tammy would like to bring Quinn to Boston for a weekend in the fall. They’d like to stay with us.”
“That sounds fun.”
“I said I’d have to check with you, but we’d be glad to have them.”
“I’m happy you and your brother have patched things up.” She kissed his neck. “Sometimes I wish we were the same age. We could have gone to the prom together.”
Gabriel nuzzled her.
“It would have been an honor to take you to prom, but it’s a good thing I didn’t know you when I was a teenager.”
“Why not?”
“Because I wouldn’t have treated you the way you deserve.”
She moved so that she could see his eyes. “I don’t believe that. You treated me well the first night we met, back in the orchard. You would have behaved the same way when you were younger.”
“Perhaps. There’s something about you . . .” He smiled. “We can arrange to have a prom here, just the two of us.”
Julia laughed. “I’ll have to buy a dress that’s too short and that will give my father a heart attack.”
“I don’t recall inviting him,” Gabriel growled, kissing her. “How short is too short?”
“For me, just a bit above the knee. I’m shy.”
He nipped at her lower lip. “You weren’t shy last night.”
She stroked the stubble on his jaw. “Your love makes me brave.”
“That’s good, because I’ll keep loving you. Forever.” Gabriel slid his hands to her waist and pulled her against his chest. “I’m sorry about what happened with Paul.”
“Me too.” Her expression turned wistful. “From now on, if we’re having problems I’ll keep them between us.”
“I promise to do the same.” He cleared his throat. “I’m afraid that when couples marry, their friendships change.”
She shrugged. “I guess so.”
“I’ve neglected our social life. I’ll do better, I promise. We can invite people over for dinner and I’ll accompany you to the pub nights at Grendel’s Den with the other grad students.”
Gabriel's Redemption (Gabriel's Inferno Trilogy) Page 18