by Geri Glenn
“You think I’m mad at you because of Krueger?” I’m shocked. All this time, he’s been blaming himself about that?
He frowns, nodding but not breaking eye contact as I lean forward. “Krueger was not your fault, Ryker. Anna started that whole fiasco. That psycho getting ahold of me is not on you. It was me who ran away from you. I made it easy for him to get to me.” I pause, watching as he takes in my words. “And I ran, because I couldn’t be around you anymore. I still can’t.”
He lifts a hand, placing it against my cheek. I grab his wrist and squeeze it, trying to pull it from my face. “I don’t have a lot of experience with men.” He stills. “What I do know is, a man that can fuck me in the morning, like I was someone special, and then fuck some whore in the evening, proving I’m not, isn’t a man I want to be with.”
He rears back as if I’d slapped him. His eyes narrow. “What the fuck?”
I plant my hands on my hips. “Lucy told me everything, Ryker. She told me that she fucked you the night we were together. She told me that you said you were getting rid of me. And then you did. You said I was a mistake. You said I wasn’t fit to be your old lady. You broke my heart, but then continued to keep me close. I couldn’t handle it, so I left.”
Throughout my speech his breaths come out more and more rapidly, his face turning red. He looks pissed. Well good for him. So am I! “After I woke up in the hospital, I kept waiting for you to leave, but you just wouldn’t.” A tear rolls down my cheek. “I need to get away. Every time I look at you, my heart bleeds.”
“You done?” he growls.
Shocked, I just stare at him and nod, another tear escaping my eye.
“Good. ‘Cause it’s my turn to talk.” He takes a step forward, boxing me in again. “You are special Charlie, so get that shit outta your head right now. That morning was fuckin’ incredible. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I’ve never felt that shit for anyone before.” My breath catches and my tears stop flowing. “I didn’t fuck that bitch. I haven’t been anywhere near her in months. She was fuckin’ with you. She didn’t know it then, but when she did that, she fucked with me too. I’ll deal with her nasty ass later.”
He didn’t sleep with her? She’d lied? Well, I admit, that makes me feel better. It still doesn’t erase the fact that he’d ended things with me after, what I’d thought, was the beginning of something special for us – after I’d already started falling in love with him. “You were never a mistake, baby.” My eyes shoot to his and he places a hand on my cheek again. “I only told you that because I was convinced my life would put yours in danger.” My forehead creases with a frown. “I told you about my mother. That shit happened to her because of my father and the club.” His eyes close and he shakes his head slightly. “I wouldn’t survive if it happened to you.”
My heart clenches. His reason makes complete sense, but I have to protect what’s left of my heart. There’s no way I can trust him after the way he slam bam thank you ma’amed me. “I can see why you felt that way,” I admit. “But that doesn’t change anything. You made me feel terrible about myself. Like a slut. Nobody’s ever made me feel that way before. I won’t let you do it again.”
He shakes his head. “I won’t, baby girl. I am so goddamned sorry for cuttin’ you loose. I convinced myself it was for your own good, but really it was for mine.” My eyes widen in surprise at his admission. “I was afraid. I don’t have a family. I don’t have people in my life that I care about. I’ve never had feelings for anyone before, and the thought of losing you ...” He squeezes his eyes closed and shakes his head. “Fuck. I really thought I’d lost you. Forever. I can’t lose you baby. You’re the only good thing in my life.”
It makes sense. Ryker’s actions were to protect me. What an ass. “Ryker?” He opens his eyes and looks at me. “You’re an ass.” His eyes flash and he opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. “What happened to your mother had nothing to do with the MC. What happened to your mother happened because your dad was a slut who couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.”
One look at his face tells me that what I’ve said has penetrated. “What happened to me was because Anna is a needy brat. Danger comes in many forms, for many reasons. I’ve always lived my life on the safe side. I’ve never gotten into any trouble, and I spent a lot of years being afraid. Afraid of people, afraid of disease … afraid of being alone. If nothing else, that night Krue …” I can’t even bring myself to say his name. “The night it happened, I realized I’ve always sheltered myself so much that I’ve never really lived. I’m so tired of being afraid, Ryker. I want to live.”
He crushes me to him, nose in my neck. “I want to live too, baby.”
The tone of his voice both breaks and mends my wounded heart. Ryker’s past had broken him too. I don’t know what to say so I just nod, my heart pounding wildly.
He stares at me for a moment, then his face splits into a wide, panty melting grin. And there it is. The dimple. “When did you get so fucking smart?”
I put my nose in the air. “I’ve always been smart. You were just too busy trying to get into my panties to pay attention.”
He chuckles softly. “Yeah. You’re right. They’re very sexy panties.” His smile fades as he brings his hand up, fisting my hair at the nape of my neck. “You were right about something else too.” I look up at him, belly fluttering all over again. “I’m an ass.” I can’t help it. Hearing him say that makes my face break out in a grin.
He looks at me with such intensity, my heart flip flops in my chest. “Charlie, I love you.” I suck in a breath. Did he really just say that? “I think I’ve loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you. The way you handled Smokey; the way you were with me. Baby girl, you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. To be honest, it did scare me. Fuck, it still scares me. When Krueger had you, and I thought you were going to die …” He squeezes my hair. “Fuckin’ agony.” He runs his nose along mine once again. “Don’t leave baby,” he whispers. “Let me fix us.”
Oh. My. God. Everything he’s said tumbles around and around in my mind. He loves me. He didn’t sleep with that skank. I’m not a mistake. And it’s worth mentioning again - he loves me. Looking back on everything he’d done since the first time Krueger had attacked me, I can see it. Everything he’d done was because he loved me. A man doesn’t do any of that for a woman he doesn’t love. My heart swells. Standing up on my tip toes, I place my lips softly on his. “I won’t leave, baby.”
And then he kisses me. A toe curling, earth shattering, need to get him out of those jeans kiss. I can feel everything in that kiss. All of his love, and his passion, and his fear that I’d almost died; I also feel his surrender, his acceptance and his relief. It takes my breath away. I tug his shirt out of his pants, hands shoving up inside to feel the smooth, hard flesh on his back.
Both of us are panting when he pulls away and smiles at me with pained eyes. “Over exertion, baby girl.” He adjusts himself, the outline of his erection evident through his jeans. “Let’s get you unpacked,” he whispers before kissing the tip of my nose.
***
Ryker
I can’t remember ever feeling completely happy. Content yes, but never happy. That night, laying in my bed, Charlie asleep on my shoulder, I am. We’d talked more over dinner and decided that she would stay with me for a while, at least until she goes back to work. That gives me at least four weeks to convince her to stay here permanently.
I want nothing more than to bury myself in her and let her feel what she does to me – how much I love her – but I can’t. The doctor had said that physical activity wouldn’t be possible for a few more weeks. That’s ok though; I can wait. As long as she’s in my bed, surrounding me with her smell, letting me kiss her when I want to, I’m ok with waiting.
Charlie’s been asleep for a while, but I can’t fucking sleep. She’ll be awake soon. Every night, after about two hours, she wakes up screaming. Each of those nights, I hold her. I rock
her and whisper to her and tell her that she’s safe. I won’t fall asleep until that happens because I don’t want her going through that shit alone.
As if on cue, Charlie bolts upright in bed, eyes wide but unseeing, a scream ripping from her throat. Sitting up, I place my hand on her back, soothing her with my words. “It’s ok baby. You’re safe. I’m right here.” Seeing her like this rips me to shreds. I hate knowing that she lives with these memories.
When her body relaxes, I pull her to my chest and lay back down, stroking her hair with one hand while the other squeezes her tightly to me. Usually, she lays like this for a while before sleep finds her again; tonight, she looks up at me with tears in her eyes.
“Ryker?” Her voice is small and full of uncertainty.
Yeah baby?”
“I need you to make love to me.” My body freezes and she rushes on. “Please. I know that the doctor doesn’t want me to exert a lot of energy, but I can’t stop thinking about him.” Anger churns in my gut. “Every night I wake up and remember him touching me. Getting ready to …” she swallows. “Rape me. I want you to touch me. I need you to. Please just love me and wash it all away.”
God. How can I say no to that? But I can’t do it – she’s not ready. “I can’t do that, baby.” I hear her frustrated and sad exhale before I continue. “But I’m sure I can come up with something.”
I roll her to her back, placing my hand on her smooth, silky thigh. I love that when she’s here, all she ever wears to bed is one of my tees and her panties. It’s one of the sexiest fucking things I’ve ever seen. Leaning forward, I take her lips in a hard, frantic kiss, swallowing her gasp of surprise.
My dick is already hard. Fucker. He’s gonna have to wait awhile. This is about Charlie. Slowly, I pull up her t-shirt, exposing her flat belly, and then her perfect tits. Fuck. This is going to be difficult. I’m going to need a cold shower afterwards.
The glow from the nightlight Charlie insisted on shines across her body, highlighting each and every one of her curves. I see the faded yellow shadow of bruises left by that monsters teeth, surrounding her nipple. That son of a bitch. I want to kill him for touching her. For marking her. I lean forward and lave my flattened tongue across her nipple. She squirms, letting out a low moan. Pulling back, I give her a stern look. “Stay still baby, or I stop.” If she moves, I will lose what little fucking control I have.
She nods and grabs the back of my head, pushing it back down towards her tit. I can’t help but chuckle. My naughty girl. I pull her nipple into my mouth, flicking it with my tongue. She doesn’t move, but her moans get louder.
I focus all of my attention on those full, round tits. Worshipping them; worshipping her. I glide my hand across her belly, carefully avoiding the still healing wounds, and slowly reach down inside her panties. She tilts her hips just a little, causing my balls to ache with the need to release. I growl at her, nipple still in my mouth; she stops squirming.
Parting her flesh with the tip of my finger, I graze her clit lightly. Fuck. She’s so wet. My dick screams at me, but I ignore it. I slide my finger deep inside her, hooking her in that perfect spot. Using the heel of my hand to rub her clit, I nip and lick at her swollen nipples, using my finger to drive her over the edge.
She moans from deep inside her throat. I know she’s close when her body starts trembling. Watching Charlie come is fucking incredible. Her hair is wild, lips swollen and a deep shade of pink. The flush on her cheeks has spread down her neck and across the creamy white flesh of her breasts. She is magnificent. Her body tenses, calling out my name with her release.
Slowly, I withdraw my hand, looking into her eyes while I suck her pleasure from my fingers. “Fuckin’ delicious, baby girl.”
Seeing her staring up at me like that, eyes hooded, cheeks flushed even brighter, just about makes me come undone. Fucking Christ. I need to cool off.
I pull back, pausing to kiss the tip of her nose. “That’ll have to do for now. As soon as the doctor clears you, I’m gonna bury myself deep inside that pretty little pussy of yours and I’m not comin’ out for days.” She grins at me then, her face lighting up in that way that never fails to knock me on my ass. That light she had lost is back in her eyes.
“Sounds like a plan to me,” she whispers.
I grin back, then flop to my side, ignoring the raging hard on I’m sporting. Pulling her against me, I bury my nose in the crook of her neck. “Now sleep, baby.”
Chapter Twenty One
Ryker
It’s been a little over a month since Charlie and I found our way back to each other. It’s been fucking incredible. We laugh, we joke, we argue, and then we fuck. A lot. We can’t seem to get enough of each other. If I’m not seducing her in the kitchen, she’s attacking me in the shower.
I’ve learned quickly that Charlie’s not as meek as I’d first thought. The girl has attitude, and fuck me if I don’t love it. When she gets angry, her cheeks flush and her little fists ball up at her sides. It’s so fucking cute. To shut her up, all I have to do is kiss her and the next thing I know, she’s climbing me like a goddamned tree. Like I said – fucking incredible.
I spend most of my days running around doing shit for the club, leaving Charlie on her own for most of the day. I always make sure to get home early though, so I can spend time with my girl. The couple of times I had been late, I’d found her asleep in my bed, looking completely fuckable, wearing nothing but my Kings of Korruption t-shirt. Both those times, I’d woken her with my tongue between her legs. I don’t know which of us loves that more. My girl tastes fucking divine.
Today though, I got done with my shit early and headed into the city, stopping at a popular antiques store. A fucking antique store. The things I do for this woman.
Charlie had told me about the antique vase that had once been her grandmothers, and how she’d always kept it full of fresh flowers because they remind her of her mom. I know it had broken her heart to lose that vase, so I’d found her a new one. I know it’s not the same; it’s not a family heirloom, but it is old, and it is beautiful, and I know she’s going to love it.
Pulling into the driveway, I climb off my bike and open the saddle bag, taking out the shiny white, ceramic vase. I’ve filled it with a fresh arrangement of summer flowers that the lady at the florist said any woman would love. Fucking flowers. I can’t believe I’m doing this shit.
I climb the stairs, careful to keep the vase behind my back, just in case Charlie peeks out the window. Walking inside, I see that I shouldn’t have worried; Charlie doesn’t even know I’m home. I stand in the doorway watching her, grinning from ear to ear.
She’s wearing a tiny pink tank top and a pair of cut off jean shorts, hair in a messy bun and earphones hanging from her ears. The mop in her hand is flying across the floor as she shakes her sexy little ass to the music, singing the lyrics to a Def Leppard song at the top of her lungs.
Still grinning, I take another step into the room. She catches the movement from the corner of her eye and screams, hand flying to her chest.
“Jesus Christ, Ryker! You scared the shit out of me!”
I chuckle. “I see that.” Moving towards her, I grab her by the hip and pull her to me. “You’ve got some sexy moves, baby. You’re gonna have to do a little strip tease for me later.” I wink.
She laughs. Her laugh is incredible. I love hearing it and work hard to get it; often. “Yeah. Think you could handle it?”
I grin at her and lean in, placing my lips on hers. “We’ll just have to find out, won’t we?”
Wrapping her arms around my neck, she smiles widely at me. I straighten, still keeping the vase behind my back with one hand.
“I got something for you today.”
She looks at me and tilts her head to the side. “You did?” She puts out her hand, wiggling her fingers. “Gimme.”
I chuckle softly. Pulling my arm from behind my back, I present her with her vase of flowers. If her gasp is anything to go by, I think she lik
es it. She presses both hands over her mouth and just stares at it. Ok. Maybe she doesn’t like it.
“I know it’s not the same, but it’s an antique like your other one. I just thought you might like something new to put your flowers in.” I feel awkward; like I’ve done the wrong thing. She keeps staring at it, a few tears shining on her cheeks. “We can take it back and you can pick out one you like. It’s no big deal.”
She gasps again and snatches it right out of my hands, hugging it to her chest. “You will do no such thing, Ryker Cole. It’s perfect.”
I can’t help but smile widely at her. Ok. She likes it. It didn’t seem like it at first, but what the fuck do I know? Women confuse the shit out of me.
“Where did you get this?”
“I went to that antique store downtown.”
“You went to an antique store?” Her tone is incredulous.
“Babe. You needed a vase.”
She keeps the flowers clutched to her chest and tears fill her eyes. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”
Her words cause my heart to drop right into my stomach. I’d told her I loved her well over a month ago but she has yet to say it back. I’d ignored it, wanting her to say it when she was ready, not just because I’d said it to her. That didn’t mean I didn’t wonder though.
Grabbing the vase from her hands, I set it on the hall table. I wind her ponytail around my fist and grip her waist tightly. I pull her to me, pressing her body into mine. “Say it again,” I growl. I need to hear her say it again; to prove I hadn’t imagined it.
She holds my eyes. Placing a hand on the side of my face, she uses her thumb to caress my cheek. “I love you, Ryker.”
Fuck. I pull her face to mine and claim her mouth with my own, kissing her hard and deep. I pour all of my love for her into that kiss, feeling all of her love for me when she kisses me back.