“I did not.” She told him what had happened with the outlaws, and he listened without interruption.
“I need to sit down.” He all but collapsed on to the sofa, as far away from her as possible.
She really felt sorry for him. Such a shock would have felled a lesser man.
His face was ghostly white now. “I feel like I’ve been gut-shot. That baby gal means the world to me.”
“It must be an awful shock for you. I couldn’t believe it myself. I was out at the clothes line when I got the most shocking pain in my head, black dots floated before my eyes and I fell to the ground. I was able to crawl inside.”
She shifted Alice to her other breast. I must have fallen asleep and when I woke up I could remember things. It was all jumbled up in my mind at first, then it started to make sense. Those evil creatures tossed Alice into the bushes to let her die of thirst or be eaten by wild animals.” Tears poured down her face. “What kind of fiends were they?”
He swallowed a couple of times. “Did they, did they violate you?”
She shuddered. “No, I’m sure they would have, except there was a posse on their trail. A couple of them wanted to, but the leader said they didn’t have time.”
She wrung her hands. Every time she thought about what could have happened she felt ill. “I pretended I was still unconscious. They were going to sell me to a brothel in Deadwood. I managed to roll out of the wagon and down an incline. I must have hit my head. I don’t remember anything until I woke up in the Golden Square jail.”
He stood. “When you finish with the baby, I’ll get you a coffee. Her real name is Alice?”
“Yes, after your wife.”
He gasped in disbelief. “I called her Alice for the same reason.”
“Daniel insisted on it.”
“Why? We weren’t close.”
“I don’t know.” She lowered her head, unable to look him in the eye. She knew the reason – guilt.
He paced the floor now she had finished feeding the baby. “No wonder you took to each other so quickly.”
“You will let us stay here, won’t you?” A note of pleading entered her voice. “We have nowhere else to go.”
“You can’t stay here.” He ran trembling hands through his hair. “It wouldn’t be decent us living together like this. Your reputation would be ruined.”
“I have no reputation left.”
Alice, who had finished feeding, stared up at her. Those beautiful big blue eyes she had inherited from her father were innocent, completely without guile.
“Where will we go if you send us away?”
“I’ll think of something.” He poured her a cup of coffee. “Give the baby to me, I’ll hold her while you drink it.”
“Go to your Uncle Logan.”
“I’m her Pa,” he growled. “That hasn’t changed.” He took the baby, laid her against his shoulder and patted her back.
“Why do you want to get rid of us? Or is it only me?”
“It’s immoral for a man and a woman who aren’t blood relatives to live together like this.”
“Who’s going to find out?”
He muttered something she didn’t quite catch, probably a swear word.
“I’ll get our food ready.” She stood and stepped past him.
“I’ve lost my appetite.” He gave a mirthless laugh. “What are we going to do, little darlin’?”
The baby gurgled happily. Jemma was glad she was too young to know the dire position they were in.
“I’ll clean up the barn and sleep there,” Jemma said.
“If anyone sleeps in the barn it will be me.” He placed Alice in her cradle, propping her up against the pillow. “I like the nightgown you made her, and her bed linen,” he suddenly said.
Jemma decided to make pancakes to go with the stew. She wasn’t up to anything else right now. Shock had drained her strength, sapped all her energy. “You said you planned to extend the loft, why can’t you make a room for me up there?”
He slapped his forehead with an open hand. “You’ll be ruined if you stay here with me.”
“I’m ruined already.” She couldn’t hide the bitterness.
“Why didn’t Daniel keep in touch? I wrote to him a couple of times.”
“I didn’t know you’d written, he never told me.” She mixed the batter for the pancakes. “That must have been how he had your address.”
“I guess so. We were never close. After Pa went back to Scotland there wasn’t much holding us together. What about you, Jemma?”
“I lived with my grandpa. I don’t remember my parents or grandmother, they were killed in an Indian attack when I was about four.”
She placed the pancakes on a plate and took them to the table, before returning to the stove to dish up the stew.
“You’re starting to get low on some supplies again,” she reminded him.
He cut a pancake into quarters. “So you’ve said.”
Maybe he didn’t have enough money or gold dust. She hadn’t thought of this before. “I can economize if you don’t have enough money.”
“I’ve got enough money.” He sounded almost belligerent.
“Well, if it’s gold dust, remember what happened in Golden Square.”
“Trails End is different. I’m known there. I don’t socialize much, but I do go in for supplies every couple of months or so. The sheriff is a friend of mine.”
When he finished eating he stood. “I’ll be late for supper. I want to go check on a few things in the far paddock.”
“You feel you can trust me now, because I’m your brother’s widow?”
“Do you blame me? My main concern was that little gal in the cradle, now I know you’re her Ma, well I can see how much you care for her.”
“She’s my life, Logan. She’s all I’ve got.”
“And she’s all I’ve got, too, thanks to some evil person who killed my wife.” Like poisoned darts, guilt riddled her body.
He sounded so sad she wanted to weep for him. It’s all my fault. She hated herself, and if he found out the truth, he would also hate her.
“You, you don’t know who did it?” She could hardly get the words out past the lump in her throat.
“No. I left straight from the cemetery. The sheriff said he had a fair idea who might have done it. He promised me they wouldn’t get away with it. I believed him. Hopefully they are still rotting in jail.” He stomped out of the room.
Jemma laid Alice down and the baby blinked sleepily. She was a good child, very placid, only crying if she was hungry or uncomfortable. At least Logan hadn’t said they needed to leave. He hadn’t said they could stay, either.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Logan strode down to where Prince was grazing. He gave a long, low whistle and the gelding trotted up to him. “I’m in a real fix, boy. I don’t know what to do.” He led the horse over to the barn and saddled him. Once mounted, Logan clicked his tongue and they were off.
He held no fear for Alice’s welfare now, her mother would look after her better than he could. He couldn’t risk Jemma’s reputation by letting her live with a lone man without a chaperone. It didn’t sit right with him. He didn’t want to cast her out, and he sure as hell didn’t want to lose the baby. He wouldn’t admit it, a man had his pride, but his finances weren’t as good as he had made out.
Maybe he could round up some of those stray cattle wandering in the wooded gullies. The larger ranchers wouldn’t bother about them, although for a small spread such as this, half a dozen head of cattle would be handy. If they were in good condition they’d probably be worth ten or twelve dollars each.
Jemma was a capable young woman who knew how to shoot and protect herself and Alice. He had purposely waited to make sure there were no repercussions over those young varmints from Golden Square. The ranch was hard to find, and unbeknownst to Jemma, he had gone out the day after their arrival here to brush away any hoof prints at the turn off.
If he could get those cattle
it would help him build up his herd. Preserving meat wasn’t a problem as he had built himself a small smoke house, and having lived on a ranch all her life, Jemma would be able to pickle meat.
If he could clear a larger area in one of the creek paddocks, he could plant extra corn and potatoes, pumpkins even. It would make them more self-sufficient.
Panning for gold was the quickest way to improve his finances. With Alice taken care of he could spend more time at it.
He dismounted at his far boundary. A small section of fencing had been trampled and an old stallion and half a dozen mares, all pregnant, were munching on his grass. They were not branded, obviously wild and on his land. All he had to do was fix up the fence, make it strong enough to keep them in, and they were his.
The bigger ranchers were always on the lookout for good horses. The stallion could prove troublesome. There again, he was old and battle-scarred and walked with an uneven gait, as if his leg had been injured. Once he would have been a fine looking horse and hopefully his progeny would be the same. It wasn’t as if he was using the paddock for anything much even though it was close to water. If he could keep them there it could be an extra couple of hundred dollars in his pocket.
Things were finally starting to look up. He heeled Prince into a gallop and headed toward the barn where he kept his fencing tools. Before the day was out he would have those mares securely fenced in.
“Well, Prince my lad, your job for the day is over. I’ll load the tools and fencing material in the wagon, hook it up to one of the horses and be off.”
Prince whickered his approval.
Three hours of hard labor and Logan was satisfied with the fence. The horses shouldn’t be able to knock that down. It was rock solid. He had cunningly sacrificed a bag of oats, and the mares had wolfed it down. I’ll make life so pleasant, you won’t want to leave. He laughed out loud, wondering whether he had gone a bit loco.
Sitting under a tree with his back resting against the trunk he took a long, slow swig of water from his canteen. What could he do about Jemma?
She was a fine looking gal, no two ways about it, and he wasn’t immune to her. He had the same male needs as any other man still in his prime. Hard work and long hours made it easier to stifle the urges. He mostly worked from daylight to dusk, and would come home too exhausted to do anything except cook a meal and fall into bed.
That was before finding little Alice. Getting up in the middle of the night to feed her and attend her other needs, in between his chores, had tired him to such an extent all he wanted to do was sleep.
Jemma was still holding something back. He felt it in his gut. He couldn’t fathom out what it could be. What a strange thing fate was. In a hundred years he would never have thought he would find a baby discarded in the wilderness, rescue a woman from jail only to find out she was the widow of his half-brother.
Who had shot Daniel and why? Jemma hadn’t been very forthcoming about it. He and his brother had the same father, and when he had started courting Alice, Daniel who had always thought of himself as a ladies man, started flirting with her, and he had told him in no uncertain terms to leave his gal alone. Not that they ever were close, although this was the last nail in the coffin of their connection with each other.
He could enlarge the cabin by extending the loft area as he had always planned to do. It would take time if he had to do the work on his own and he couldn’t afford to pay anyone to help, not to mention he didn’t want other men tramping over his property. The barn would be easy enough to convert to sleeping quarters for him. Even if he did this, the dilemma of having Jemma here without a chaperone still remained.
What if he married her? The thought popped into his head and wouldn’t go away. It would solve all his problems. He would definitely be Alice’s Pa, Jemma’s reputation would remain unsullied, and he would have a pretty gal to keep him company in bed at night. He laughed out loud, wondering why he hadn’t thought of it sooner. Marriage would solve all their problems.
Whistling, he made his way to the cabin. All was silent. He pushed the back door open and skidded to a halt. Jemma’s wet hair hung down her back. Naked from the waist up, she was washing herself. The breath hissed from between his teeth. She spun around and he nearly choked. Her breasts were creamy white, tipped with pink nipples, a perfect size to fit into his cupped hand. Heat shot straight to his groin.
She made a frantic grab for a towel.
“S….Sorry.” He turned away.
“I didn’t expect you back so soon.”
“I can leave the room.” He had seen the tops of her breasts sometimes when she fed the baby, but this….
“No.” She rejected his offer to step outside. “Just don’t peek while I get dressed. I was only having a wash.
“I’ll get you more water if you want to have a bath.” He would even wash her back. He grinned.
“Did you strike gold?” she asked.
He liked the way she moved, purposeful yet graceful. “No, maybe better.”
“What could be better for a man than finding gold?”
“I could name a few things.”
“Come on, tell me.” Her dazzling smile nearly floored him.
“I thought of a way to solve all of our problems.”
“Yes,” she answered warily. “How?”
“Let’s get hitched.”
Her mouth dropped open, her eyes widened, bosom heaved. This wasn’t the reaction he had expected.
“I, um, I’m attracted to you Jemma. I could be a real Pa to Alice, and….”
“No.”
“No!” He rocked back on his heels. He wasn’t such a bad prospect, surely.
“I can’t.”
“Of course you can. You’re a widow and I’m a widower, it would be perfect.”
“I’m fond of you, even after such a short time. More than fond I think,” she said softly. “But….”
“Well then? Why not.”
“I’ve got secrets, Logan. I couldn’t bear it if your fondness turned to hatred. It would if you knew.”
“Knew what? Dammit, woman.”
“I can’t tell you, I just can’t.”
He was so shocked he couldn’t think straight. What could she have done in the past to make him hate her?
“You’re being foolish, what about Alice?”
“We could go on the way we are.”
“We can’t, I can’t. It’s too much to ask of a man. I’ve got feelings, males urges. I’m not made of stone, I’m worried I’ll lose control of myself one night and ….”
“I wouldn’t mind. Women have needs too.”
He couldn’t believe what she was saying. “You mean you would have relations with me outside of marriage?”
“Yes.”
“Whore yourself to me for a roof over your head?” he snarled, turning on his heel and storming out of the cabin, leaving Jemma shaken.
It was a horrible thing for him to think, let alone say out loud. His contempt was hard to bear, but his hatred would be a thousand times worse. She cast a glance into the cradle to make sure the baby still slept, then stumbled over to the sofa and lay down.
Everything was such a mess. She closed her eyes and let her mind drift, hoping it would ease her torment.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Larriet, North Dakota – three years earlier.
“I don’t think we should, Annabelle,” Jemma said.
“It won’t do any harm.” Sixteen year old Annabelle Foster stamped her foot. “Pa said you’re a servant and have to do whatever I say.”
“Yes, but not set fire to the grass.”
“I like watching the flames, they’re pretty when they shoot up into the air. This is perfect.” She clapped her hands. Her eyes gleamed. “The grass is long, it will burn beautifully.”
“It’s too close to the old cabin. I heard Logan McGregor and his new wife were living there,” Jemma said.
“No, Logan is away on a cattle drive, they’re moving in when he ge
ts back.”
Jemma was starting to regret becoming a companion for Annabelle. She should have just stayed as a maid. Mr. Foster offered to pay her extra, if she would be a companion for his daughter when she was here at the ranch.
Annabelle was becoming more unpredictable, nice one minute, mean and spiteful the next. Anyone falling foul of Annabelle, lived to regret it. She was her Pa’s shining star, and he would do anything for her, give her anything she desired.
Jemma closed her eyes. Please, God, let her leave for the Ladies Academy soon. I don’t know how much more of her tantrums I can stand.
A loud crackle was followed by Annabelle’s maniacal laughter. Jemma’s eyes flew open. Annabelle danced around chanting. “Burn beautiful fire, burn.”
The wind suddenly changed and the fire raced toward the cabin. Jemma glanced around to see if any of the men were around. No-one except them.
She grabbed a fallen tree branch and tried to beat out the flames, but they were spreading. The smoke blew into their faces now and she could feel the heat of the flames.
Annabelle grabbed her hand and they ran until they tumbled to the ground puffing and panting. Jemma glanced back at the cabin and wished she hadn’t. It was on fire. A couple of men were racing to the scene now, too late, the cabin was burning from end to end, beyond saving.
“See, I told you not to light the fire.”
“It’s Pa’s cabin, he won’t care. I’m hungry. I want to go home.”
Jemma climbed to her feet before helping Annabelle up. The girl chatted away as if nothing had happened, while she worried and fretted in case some poor animal had been trapped inside and got burnt.
Back at the imposing Foster homestead, Sebastian Foster sat in a cane chair, a large cigar stuck between his lips. He was an overweight, florid faced man who Jemma secretly detested. It had been rumored several young maids had been dismissed over the years because he had forced himself on them and got them with child.
She hated the way his bulging eyes, peering out from pouches of fat, stared at her body, and how he would sometimes accidentally touch her breast. The man was a revolting oaf. Thankfully, she always rode her pony home each evening and didn’t have to stay the night.
Logan (Bachelors And Babies Book 2) Page 6