“There are things in my past Logan would hate me for.”
“Surely not. You can tell me your story. I’m a confidant to a lot of people.” He laughed. “I carry so many secrets I sometimes feel like a priest in the confessional.”
Dare she risk telling him?
“You have strong feelings for Logan?”
“Yes, how did you know?”
“I read it in your eyes, longing mixed with hopelessness. Nothing could be so bad Logan wouldn’t forgive you.”
“I’m responsible for the death of his wife.”
“What!” Max almost dropped his cookie on the table. “It was an accident, he told me she died in a fire. You can’t blame yourself for that.”
“I’ll tell you everything, if you swear you’ll never repeat it to a living soul.”
“I swear what you tell me here today will never pass my lips.”
She wrung her hands, then took a sip of coffee. Her hand trembled so much she had to hold the cup with both hands to keep it still.
Taking a deep breath, she started her story, slowly at first but gaining in confidence as she went. He made no comment, just sat frowning every now and again. Finally, when she was through, she slumped in the chair, physically and mentally drained.
“That’s a terrible story, Mrs. McGregor. You can’t blame yourself. You received a pardon, you were exonerated.”
“I was with Annabelle, I should have stopped her, except I was afraid of losing my job. Poor Alice died because of it.”
“Why didn’t she try to escape the fire?”
“Daniel, my husband, found out later, they discovered her body on the bed. She must have been asleep.”
“Probably died from inhaling the smoke while she slept. Better for her that way. Logan wouldn’t blame you if you told him the full story. His brother’s actions were more reprehensible than yours, but Sebastian Foster is the one to blame for this tragedy. Men who are rich and powerful can corrupt everything around them.”
He patted her hand, which was clenched on the table. “Tell Logan about the guilt you feel regarding his late wife, say it’s why you refused his offer of marriage. He has strong feelings for you. You’re both young, you could have years of happiness together.” He sighed. “Don’t let this chance slip through your fingers.”
“Thank you. I didn’t think I would, but I feel better for having told someone.”
“Logan is the one you need to tell.”
She nodded her agreement. “Another cookie?” How could she speak normally after what she had just confessed?
“Don’t mind if I do, these are good.” He glanced at Alice. “A mighty fine looking babe you’ve got there. It was a miracle Logan found her when he did.”
“I can’t believe how close I got to here before those evil creatures attacked me. As for Golden Square’s Marshal.” She shuddered with revulsion.
“He’s not fit to wear a Marshal’s badge, and Golden Square is one town you’re better off staying away from.”
“A team of wild horses couldn’t drag me there again.”
“It doesn’t look as if Logan will be back until supper time. I have to go. Tell him about Sam, say Doc and I have seen the undertaker and preacher for his funeral. It will be tomorrow at 11 o’clock.”
“I’ll tell him. I think he’ll probably want to attend.” She walked on to the porch with him.
“Well, it’s up to him. Doc and I will be there, so there will be someone at his funeral.”
“Thank you for riding such a long way to tell us, and for listening to me.”
He nodded, clamped on his hat, mounted his horse and rode away.
Jemma felt sad and upset, somehow vulnerable now. On returning indoors, she poured herself another coffee and sat with her elbows resting on the table. This won’t do she thought. You have to finish your baking, feed Alice when she wakes up then do the other chores including the milking.
Sam’s cow was a cantankerous thing who didn’t give out a lot of milk, but something was better than nothing. She wouldn’t make butter today, there was still a little left in the cupboard. She had used most of the morning milk in her baking. In that regard it had been a successful day, but she couldn’t shake off a feeling of impending doom.
Dusk was falling when Logan trudged in while she was still feeding the baby. He looked tired and dispirited.
“I’ve had one hell of a day. I couldn’t find the cattle, and the old stallion is dead.”
“I’m sorry, as soon as I’ve finished feeding the baby, I’ll get your supper.”
“Thanks, it smells good.”
“I don’t want to make your day any worse, but the sheriff rode out to see you.”
“Why?”
“Sam’s passed. He dropped dead outside the bank.”
“How much more bad luck is a man expected to stand.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Sorry for snapping at you. It isn’t your fault.”
He jiggled Alice’s bare foot. Jemma’s nipple popped out of the baby’s mouth, and she frantically tried to cover it.
Logan inhaled a noisy breath. He muttered something before turning his head away.
“She knows you, Logan, your voice and your scent even.”
“Yeah? Dirt and sweat.”
“Well, to her it says Logan McGregor.”
He grimaced. “I’ll wash up for supper.”
“I’m sorry about Sam, he probably wouldn’t have felt anything. The funeral is tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow!”
“Yes, at eleven o’clock. The sheriff said if you couldn’t make it not to worry, him and the doctor will be there.”
“I feel duty bound to go. I was probably his only friend, if you could call me that. I’m just so busy.”
“Go, you’ll always regret it if you don’t. Your work can wait another day or so.”
He gnawed his lower lip. “I guess if I rode in, I’d be back by mid-afternoon. “I’ve got to find those cows, I need them. Then there are the mares, some of them look ready to drop their foals at any time, I have to move them closer to the cabin.”
“They’re wild horses, they would be used to birthing foals without help.”
“Some of them could die if left to their own devices. I need those mares and their foals.” He drew in a deep breath. “I need the money, Jemma, I’ve got practically none left now.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
After supper, Logan sat slumped at the table cradling his coffee cup, but not drinking it. He looked so sad and worried her heart bled for him.
She couldn’t tell him her secret now, he already had too much on his mind without adding to his worry. Max said he would understand, but would he?
The stove threw out a comforting warmth as the nights were still chilly. It lit the room up enough so most nights they didn’t need to light the lamp.
“Do you want me to come in with you tomorrow?” she asked.
“No, it will be quicker if I ride in alone. If I leave here about eight it will give me time to do a few chores before I go.”
Alice started to grizzle and Jemma went to rise.
“I’ll get her.” He pushed aside his cup and stood.
“I’ll change and feed her then settle her down for the night.”
While Jemma went to get the baby’s night clothes ready, Logan stepped over to the cradle and picked her up. “You’re getting to be a big gal now.” She gurgled at him and Jemma watched them. He was so good with her, particularly for a man who had never had anything to do with children before the baby arrived on the scene.
“I’ll have to make you a bigger bed soon.”
She grabbed his hair in two chubby little hands and pulled.
“Ouch, you’re a cruel wee thing.” He disentangled her fingers, and turned toward Jemma. “Are you ready for her?”
“Yes.”
He handed her over. “I might go to bed,” he said. “I want to be up early in the morning.”
Jemma changed the baby who
was wriggling and squirming, trying to get back to Logan.
“You’ve spoilt her, Logan.”
“I haven’t spoilt you have I, darlin’?” He ran a tanned finger across the smooth baby cheek.
“She’s anxious for the breast,” Jemma said.
“She’s not the only one.” She was shocked to hear him mutter.
“What did you say?”
Red tinged his cheeks. “Nothing.”
She turned back to feeding the baby. “Don’t sleep in the barn tonight. He gave a sudden, sharp intake of breath. “Stay here with us, you’ve got a perfectly good bed here. You need a good night’s sleep and won’t get it sleeping out there on the hay.”
“And I won’t get it here, either,” he shot back.
Was he as bothered by her presence as she was by his? Did he have feelings for her that he thought he shouldn’t? If only he knew she felt the same way.
After Alice had dropped off to sleep, Jemma eased the little rosebud mouth from her nipple and pulled her gaping bodice together. She carried her back to bed and tucked her in.
As she swung around she almost cannoned into Logan. He put his hand out to steady her and she was so close, even in the subdued light from the fire, she could see the burning hunger in his eyes. She didn’t try to pull away. His touch turned her blood into liquid fire.
He gave a strangled groan and his mouth crashed down on hers.
She returned his kiss, straining against his hard body. His breathing sounded labored, hers a little less so. He deepened the kiss, his tongue thrust against her teeth until she opened her mouth and let him in. Their bodies were seared together, yet he was somehow able to maneuver his hand to cup her breast.
Suddenly she was free. He stepped back a pace, wiping his hand across his mouth. “Now, do you understand why I can’t sleep in here.” He disappeared into the darkness outside, leaving her alone and shaken.
She had never been confronted with such passion before. What she had shared as Daniel’s wife was nothing compared to this. She wanted Logan with such fierce longing it frightened her. Had he not pulled away, she wouldn’t have been strong enough to deny him anything he wanted.
After taking a few calming breaths, she banked the fire up, did the dishes and got ready for bed. There was simply nothing else to do.
Next morning she was up and about early. She wanted to cook Logan a proper breakfast before his long ride into town. She was getting ready to crack eggs into the pan when he walked in.
“Good morning,” he said.
It wasn’t good, he looked as bad as she felt.
“I’ll have a wash and shave before breakfast.”
“I laid clean clothes over the chair for you.”
“Thanks, I’ll change after I wash up. Don’t come outside, unless you want to see me naked.”
She gasped, pretending to be surprised. There was nothing she’d like more than to see him without clothes. The wanton thoughts shocked her.
“D….don’t take long, breakfast is nearly ready.”
When Logan stepped inside again, she caught her breath. Clean shaven, with his hair damp and curling, and dressed in a blue shirt and brown pants, no man could have looked more handsome.
He sat down and tucked into ham, fried potatoes and eggs, washed down with coffee.
“Thanks, it tastes good.”
Alice, who was sitting up against a pillow in her bed, gave him a gummy smile. “Ah, little darlin’.” He stepped over to her. “You be a good gal for Ma while I’m gone.” She flapped her arms at him, and stepping back he crashed into Jemma as he did so.
He spun around. “I should have looked where I was going.”
“I shouldn’t have crept up behind you.” She stared into his face and his searing gaze captured hers. He lowered his head, slowly, as if giving her time to refuse him. She stood motionless until his mouth touched hers. Instinctively her arms wound themselves around his waist to hold him close. He deepened the kiss and she opened her mouth to give him access to the moistness within.
Her legs trembled, her heart slammed so hard against her rib cage she could almost hear it. With a suddenness that left her bereft, he stepped away.
He didn’t say a word, stared straight into her eyes, his gaze never wavering, as if he wanted to see inside her head. When he swung away he said. “I’ll get back as soon as I can.”
“Take care,” she managed to say even though the words sounded husky. He walked away and she stood motionless, running her fingers across her trembling lips until the sound of hoofbeats brought her out of her trance.
“This won’t do Jemma McGregor, you have a lot of things to do today before Logan returns.” It looked to be fine and sunny, and so still, not even one leaf moved on the trees.
After her inside chores were completed, she fed and changed Alice. “We’re going to do some work for your Pa today. He wants to prepare more land for his garden, we can at least clear the stones for him and turn over the soil.”
She put on the bonnet she had sewn for Alice, with the wider than normal brim, to protect her from the sun, then placed the baby in the sling. With a piece of rope tied around her waist, Jemma hitched up her skirt, leaving her legs bare from the knees down. It certainly didn’t look particularly elegant, although no-one was around to notice.
She wound pieces of cloth around her hands to avoid getting blisters. She would have to take her chances with her fingers as she needed them to be free. With Alice comfortably settled in the sling, she headed for the door.
The vegetable plot wasn’t far from the cabin and was on land that had once been a flood plain Logan had explained. The narrow creek never flooded now, yet a few years ago it had been deep and fast flowing until one of the large ranchers further upstream had diverted some of it. Another reason why Logan detested the wealthy ranchers, who thought nature’s bounty was for their own personal use, but he couldn’t hate them as much as she did.
She collected the hoe from the barn and set off. Pebbles were strewn all over the area Logan hadn’t dug up. Would they be gold-bearing? Of course not, he would have checked them.
She used the hoe to rake up the stones, clearing part of a row, before turning the soil over. It was soft river loam and easy to work. She heaped the stones into small piles, which she would collect every now and again, and place into a bigger heap for Logan to dispose of. She couldn’t think what they might be useful for, but probably he would.
By the time she had completed three rows her arms were aching, not to mention her back. Time for a rest, unless she wanted to risk becoming too exhausted to continue. She walked over to a nearby tree where she had left a water bottle and took a drink. She had obviously grown soft since leaving Daniel’s ranch. She could never think of it as hers because of the way he had obtained it.
Poor Daniel, like her he had foolishly trusted Sebastian Foster and it had cost him his life. The man was like his daughter, pure evil.
I’ll have to pace myself she thought. Do a couple of rows then rest for a while so I don’t become too exhausted.
She climbed to her feet and started work. The mid-morning sun was starting to get hot now summer was almost here.
After working for a while she realized she wasn’t doing as well now as what she had done in the beginning. When Alice let out a hungry cry, she stopped to feed her, then wearily took up the hoe once more.
“What in the name of….”
She spun around. Logan dismounted from Prince and marched toward her. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Enlarging your garden.”
“It’s not a woman’s work.” He stared at her bare legs.
She leaned on the hoe. “I’m capable of doing it and I wanted to help. I was just getting ready to finish up. I haven’t done as much as I’d thought I would have.”
“You’ve done quite a lot.” He took his hat off. “Where’s the baby?”
“On my back.”
He rolled his eyes and she didn’t kno
w whether he was angry or not. She unhooked her skirt from the rope and let it fall back into place.
“What’s wrong with your hands?” He stared at the dirty strips of cloth.
“I bandaged them up so I wouldn’t get blisters because I don’t have any gloves.”
He looped Prince’s reins in one hand, took the hoe in the other. “Go back to the cabin. I’ll change my clothes and finish off what you started. If I don’t get my seeds planted soon it will be too late. If summer comes early, I’ll be hard pressed to keep them alive.”
“I can help water them.”
“I’ll give Prince a rub down, then I’ll join you. A cup of coffee would go down well.”
“I think I can manage that. How did the funeral go?”
His lips tightened. “All right, I suppose you could say. Doc Petrie, the preacher and Max, um the….”
“I know who Max is.”
Logan’s features turned grim. “I think we need to have a little talk about Max.”
She gnawed her lip. “What did he say about me?” Surely he wouldn’t have broken his word.
“Oh, just how pretty and friendly you were, all those kinds of things. And he was quite taken with Alice, too.”
Was Logan jealous?
“He was a nice man and I liked him, but um….”
“But what?” he shot the word out.
“I would only want him for a friend, nothing else.”
Logan muttered something and led Prince toward the stable area.
Jemma wearily trudged back to the cabin. Thank goodness she’d chopped up all the vegetables for the stew she planned on having, and the salted meat was soaking in water, ready for cooking.
Once inside, she unwrapped the cloth from her hands. She would wash the cloth later and reuse it. She undid the sling and gently placed the baby in her cradle. She wouldn’t sleep for long, now she was older she spent more time awake. Fortunately, she was a placid baby who didn’t mind being propped up in her cradle. She also enjoyed lying on a blanket for short periods of time. This was when Jemma realized she could roll around.
She threw a log on the stove and filled the coffee pot.
Stepping outside to brush off any residual dirt clinging to her skirt, she debated about whether there would be time to take a quick wash before Logan returned. Glancing up, she saw him striding toward her with purposeful strides.
Logan (Bachelors And Babies Book 2) Page 12