They shared a small feast in front of the blazing warmth of the campfire. It was so still. Except for the sounds of nature. The stars seemed to go on forever. Like heavy diamonds sprinkled liberally across a black velvet lambrequin. She lay on her bedroll sated. Xzan stared in a dreamy haze at the constellations her eyes luminous with unspoken thoughts. Finally she turned her gaze to her huge companion.
“Sean I don’t know if your hunch was right. If it was you saved my life. I want to thank you for that. I don’t have any options right now except to go with you. I will play the role of your wife in front of your family. Just don’t expect me to carry it over in to the times we’re alone together. I expect you to respect me no matter how close of quarters we ever share.”
Sean looked affronted. “I have always treated you with the utmost deference!”
She turned on her side her voice muffled. He could barely understand what she was saying.
“I’ll find my own place as soon as I can. Have you thought about what your going to tell your family when I do leave someday? I’ve already just about had my reputation sullied as much as it can stand. It seem no matter what I do I just can’t win.”
Her voice drifted off heavy with exhaustion. He felt a pang of remorse for putting her in this position. He just didn’t see any other alternative. A single woman was defenseless in this savage territory. He didn’t ever want her to leave. He’d like for her to really be his wife someday. To protect her. Cherish her the way she deserved to be treated. But until he had time to prove to her that he was no longer the little boy she met was indeed a full-grown man he would have to do his best to take care of her even if it meant making her a little mad.
*******
She dreamed about him for the first time in weeks. Maybe it was because she had slept under the heavens and felt closer to him than usual. He was touching her the way he once had fanning flames inside that demanded to be cooled. She moaned in her sleep moving her body as if in pain. Sean woke from a deep sleep when she began whimpering like a small wounded animal. He had slept on the other side of the campfire to give her privacy. He wondered if she were having a nightmare about her husband. He hadn’t fully understood the things he’d heard his parents whispering about all those years ago. Had only fathomed she had been severely abused by a foul animal. Recollecting the things he had heard and now understood he knew what she had endured. It broke his heart that she was still haunted after all these years.
He rose quietly. Hesitating. Then sighing, picking up his bedroll, Sean placed it next to hers. Lying down he reached over to comfort her. Patting her delicate back like an infant and soothing her the best he could. He held her limp fingers squeezing them reassuringly. She stilled. Fell into a deeper more peaceful slumber. When he awoke a few hours later she was settled comfortably in the crook of his arm. He didn’t want her to wake up and accuse him of taking advantage of her in her sleep. So like he had many early mornings on the trail he disengaged his massive frame from her lithe form reluctantly. Moving his bedroll back to its original spot he fell asleep again almost instantly.
They reached the farm by mid-day. Her first sight of the place was breathtakingly lovely. A clear rippling stream sat in the middle of acres of plush green land with rich dark soil. There was a huge red barn and a weathered but newly whitewashed shanty shack. There weren’t many trees but the few they had were old and huge adorned by dark green leaves. She could visualize a swing hanging from one of those branches. Laughing children running around it’s base and folding their arms over their happy faces calling out “Hide!”
Her heart twisted with a momentary jab of pain when she saw Sean’s Uncle. Jeb was the splitting image of his older brother Robert Fenierre. A big, burly, bearded, dark-headed man with eyes so vividly blue she could see the color at a distance. However as she would soon discover physical appearance was the only thing the brothers had shared in common. Jeb didn’t have much use for people. The love of his life was the land. He took the news that his nephew had returned with a bride in stride. Nodded his head in response. His son Robert named after his deceased brother and his dead wife’s father came running exuberantly to greet his cousin. He eyed Xzan curiously polite awaiting introductions. He would undoubtedly have a million questions to ask out of her presence. But for now he took off his hat respectfully when the announcement was made.
“I’m pleased to meet you ma’am. Welcome to the family. Can you cook?"
Sean burst out laughing. Xzan stared at both men in confusion. He explained cheerfully.
“They nearly starve to death when I’m gone. Don’t know how they survived before I came. Aunt Maggie had been dead may she rest in peace over six years now. Both of them could burn water. You’d better watch out. You know the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. If they ever taste your cooking they might try to steal you away from me.”
She giggled with the compliment. She didn’t really believe it was that bad. After six years of fending for themselves they were bound to have learned a few things. Robert’s namesake reminded her poignantly of his cousin Richard. The little boy would have looked a lot like him as an adult. His hair was flaming red a thick mass of riotous curls. Yellowish orange freckles splattered across the bridge of his nose giving him an eternally boyish demeanor only the bright blue eyes belying his years. He was at least 25 if he was a day. He lacked the hulking frame of the other Fenierre men. Was indeed only a few inches taller than his new cousin-in-law. Gaunt. She knew he was probably strong as a mule despite his bony appearance. She’s seen scrawnier men on the trail lift a wagon by themselves when a wheel broke. Working on a farm he undoubtedly had tremendous stamina. He didn’t look ill.
The barn was mammoth in proportions. Sean hadn’t lied when he said he had made himself a comfortable little nest in it. She climbed up into the hayloft to look around and was pleasantly surprised to see he had cleared a space about ten feet square. There was a feather mattress on the floor covered with several quilts and two pillows. A small wooden crate sat next to the bed with a lantern perched precariously on top to read by.
On the other side was a trunk that undoubtedly held his clothing. There was plenty of space to stack her belongings. Even a place for her rocker which she had been loath to part with since she’d first arrived in the house in Sweetbriar. Her copper tub was heavy but she was sure the men could find a way to heave it up the short ladder to the loft. Her baths were of major importance and she needed her privacy to enjoy them.
This wasn’t where she wanted to spend the rest of her life but she had slept in worst places. Living off the land in a teepee or on the hard ground during the trail drive had been more excruciating than this would be. She smiled sweetly at Sean. “It’s livable.”
He looked so relieved it melted away her last trace of anger at him. She reached out her left hand. Being Sean he went for the whole works. Grabbing her by the waist he swept her into a bear hug happily. Xzan laughed pummeling his shoulders ineffectually pleading with him to put her down. She gave him a genuine hug in return when he complied obediently. Then she went to explore the rest of the farm.
The only cooking facilities were inside Jeb’s cabin. Sean opened the door apologetically wrinkling his nose in disgust.
“They spend all their time in the fields, don’t do a lot of cleaning. I’m sorry it’s so dirty but maybe you can clean a work space and ignore the rest.”
She walked in and back out, instantly gagging, nearly knocking him down in the process, pinching her nose in revulsion. The cabin smelled like rotting meat, filthy socks and soured milk. She hadn’t even looked in the odor was so overpowering but she could imagine what really did accommodate the stench. She glared accusingly at Jeb and his son who were a few feet away talking about a broken fence. Both men seemed to tune in to her at the same time. Robert turned a bright red. Jeb was totally unimpressed. Hands on hips she demanded.
“Well are you going to stand there gawking or find the broom and scrub brush? Star
t bringing in buckets of water!”
Jeb strode away snorting unconcernedly. Robert and Sean bowed their heads like whipped puppies and began searching for the required items. It was way almost nightfall by the time the cabin was scoured spotlessly clean. It didn’t even look the same. She’d found a glass jar and filled it with wild flowers sitting it in the window over the sink. The wooden floors had been so deeply embedded with dirt it taken all of them working together to lift the last traces of residue. Their dirty clothes were outside the door in a burlap bag awaiting a new day. In the center of the mantle over the fireplace ticking away for the first time in six years was Maggie’s cherished cuckoo clock. Xzan had ecstatically found a key to wind it. The little bird’s head wobbled and he squeaked every hour when the long hand struck twelve.
She and Sean agreed to store all of their goods inside a pantry that she had discovered hidden behind a dusty old dresser. That aperture was beyond repair, the drawers falling to pieces used as a catch all for every dirty dish or piece of clothing in the house. She had them tote it out clearing the space and opening the door to a room the size of a large closet that had been long forgotten. Inside on the dusty shelves were canned preserves no longer edible, bulging in their jars. What looked like pickled okra had become green slime. She had the men bury the old food knowing it was highly toxic and not wanting an animal to get poisoned from it.
She also found several cast iron skillets and a beautiful set of china dishes with bluebirds hand painted on them. It brought such a wave of nostalgia over her for a moment that tears stung her eyes. Her mother had a set of these same dishes. She finished cleaning the storage area then washed the dishes lovingly. She looked exhausted. Dirt smudged her cheeks and apron. But she couldn’t stop now. Both men had helped her willingly but they were antsy to get outdoors. She had them stock the pantry with all the supplies from the wagon with what they had already had available. Then she took note of what she could throw together to feed them all and pushed the men out the door to let her make the meal in peace.
There was no sense in just cooking for two when it would be the same work to cook for them all and less cleanup. She shuddered to think of Jeb or Robert in the kitchen after she had cooked and cleaned for the day. The aroma that wafted out to the hungry men made them salivate. It was a slow torture. Several hours passed before she stepped out on the porch her hair freshly brushed, face and hands scrubbed pink to announce;
“Dinner’s ready. Wash up.”
They all groaned. Jeb muttered under his breath. But they headed for the horse watering trough out back appearing a few minutes later in the doorway eyes bulging in wonder at the veritable feast she had laid out on the sideboard and the china dishes on the table. Jeb hadn’t seen a meal like this since his Maggie died. Even Sean’s culinary skills only extended to soup, chili or a rabbit stew. This was like going to heaven. Homemade biscuits, beef steaks grilled with green peppers and onions, freshly sliced tomatoes, topped off by a fresh peach cobbler. She had made coffee for after dinner but for now she made them drink water which she claimed helped the digestion.
They didn’t argue. At this point they would have drank mud if it made her happy to taste the fare spread before them. All of the men looked a little lost when they saw the dishes. Used to taking turns and eating right out the pot, fine bone china was a mystery that seemed too fancy not to mention fragile. None of the silverware matched but it was all sparkling clean. She took pity on them and fixed their plates serving each one of them. They ate with relish like starving orphans. She knew they would be hungry but was shocked when they finished every last morsel stuffing themselves like this was their last meal and they didn’t want to waste a crumb.
She refrained from commenting not sure whether to be disgusted by their piggish appetites or pleased that they obviously appreciated the meal to eat so heartily. She began clearing the table silently washing the dishes while the men stretched out in front of the fireplace discussing the farm. She listened disinterestedly until Sean began to discuss his plot of land. Evidently he had begun making plans to cut the wood in the hills nearby to build a house. When he described the interior her heart caught in her throat. It was her house. The one she had always wanted. With wall to wall bookshelves that ran from floor to ceiling on either side of the fireplace. A storm shelter, basement for storage, even a small nursery off of the master bedroom so a newborn could be close by without having to share the parent’s domain.
Everything she had ever mentioned had stuck in his head. She didn’t know if he wanted the house for himself because he was so impressed with her ideas or if he wanted to build it for her. She had no intention of becoming his wife for real. But she was touched that he wanted to build her dream home here in this beautiful untamed land. It was a monumental feat. It couldn’t be erected in a few days or weeks like the log cabins that sprung up every where were. Each piece of wood had to be cut, trimmed, fitted and someone would have to figure out the dimensions and make blueprints for it to be built. Some of the furnishings would have to be purchased in England or France then be shipped out west which might be a lengthy and expensive venture. It would take more than a few weeks to complete. There was no way Sean could afford it. Even though he had the wood to build the place with for free.
Jeb scratched his head thoughtfully loading his pipe. Evidently he had the same reflection.
“Now Sean whut your describing is a mansion. Ya think Maggie an me wanted to live the rest of our lives in a place this small? We jest never had time once we got here ta stop working the crops long enough ta build on.”
Sean shook his head. “I’ve thought about it all Uncle Jeb. Even if you and Robert could help me and I know you can’t because you don’t have time, it would be more than just three could handle. I have a little money saved up but it isn’t enough. I have to find a way to make more somehow. A lot of it quick.”
Jeb snickered. “Good luck! Boy, you best build you and yer missus a little shack like this fore the snow flies agin. You don’t want to find yerself in that barn with a freezing woman an a screaming brat.”
Xzan was shocked by his bluntness. Even though she and Sean were only pretending to be married she was affronted by his low opinion of the union and the children they might have. She interrupted hotly drying her hands on the back of her apron.
“Sean has no intention of having to live in the barn Mr. Fenierre. And if we have a child someday he certainly would see to it that none of us froze.”
She turned her face to her pretend husband.
“How much money do you need?”
He shrugged. “I think to do it the right way, hire hands, feed them while their here, the things I’d have to order and have shipped it would be close to three thousand dollars. “
Jeb snorted. “I make thirty two dollas a year workin this land. That jest barely keeps us alive. It’s back breaking work from sun up ta sun down. If’un ya made that much which ya couldn’t cuz yer don’t have that much land to plant on and ya saved ever penny it would tek half yer lifetime to put that kind of money togetha. Ya best be realistic. Take whut yer can get and be grateful ta have a roof over yer head.”
Xzan fumed inwardly. She had money. Sean wasn’t even aware of how much. It had never really meant anything to her till now. She had taken it for granted. Knowing it would last her the rest of her life and that she was a hard worker with the earning capacity to make money teaching school or doing an honest days work wherever she found it. What Sean needed was a pittance compared to the small fortune she had in the bank in England. She mentally calculated how much she had in cash stashed away in numerous hiding places. Five or six times more than what Uncle Jeb made in a year. Hoarded unknown all of them in her petticoats, the hem of her cloak and in cash in her reticule. She reached out and squeezed Sean’s muscular shoulder encouragingly.
“If you had the money how long would it take to get everything done?”
He sighed. “I’m not sure. May be 6-8 months.”
/> She beamed happily. “Just in time for Christmas. It will take me about two weeks to have the funds approved by the bank in Angel City. You get started ordering everything you need.”
Robert who had dozed off by the hearth came abruptly awake when Jeb lost his balance in his chair and fell flat on his back howling in pain. The look of shock on his face was priceless. Sean was dumbstruck. Turning around he put his hands around her tiny waist pulling her close to peer seriously in her face.
“You have that kind of money?”
“More if you need it. It isn’t doing any good sitting around that musty old bank in England. If you want the house it’s yours.”
He didn’t know what to think or to say. He wanted to build the house for her. On one hand he was thrilled to be able to make her dreams come true, on the other he had wanted to do it for her and that mean finding a way to come up with the money himself. After what Jeb had said he realized it would take a miracle to ever come up with that kind of money alone. With her money it would become a reality not just a hope for the future. His fingers tightened perceptibly.
“Are you sure you want to do this? I mean that’s a lot of money Xzan. It could last you for years.”
Jeb who had righted his chair was rubbing his head. “Boy it’s yer money now. What’s hers is yers. If yer wantin to spend it on a dadburned house do it. If'n was me I’d be sittin purty the rest of ma life. Right here in this little cabin. Wouldn’t be breaking ma back frettin over the weather and the pest worryin it will destroy ma crops.”
Xzan glared at him. “It’s not just a house Mr. Fenierre. It’s a home. The reason men break their backs is to live in a home with their families. Come on Sean I’m through with the dishes. Let’s go make a list of what we’ll need. Tomorrow you can take me to town and I’ll see Mr. Gaston at the bank.”
He followed her glancing over his shoulder at the two men by the fireplace. Jeb was scowling. Robert’s eyes twinkled in amusement. He saluted his cousin teasingly. Sean chuckled trying to catch up with the unpredictable lady ahead. She held her tiny regally as a queen marching as if in to battle in the barn.
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