Xzan was only disappointed by one thing. The small room that she had wanted for a nursery to adjoin her bedroom hadn’t been included. The house was so perfect even more beautiful than she ever dreamed possible that she quickly hid her disappointment. Maybe he assumed she would never want a relationship with any man after the way Brett abused her and it was futile to build a baby’s room.
He led her downstairs giggling happily straight to the piano demanding, “Play for me.”
Her hands felt awkward. She had gradually learned to manipulate the three fingers that had been frostbitten nevertheless she wasn’t sure however if she could play with them. She closed her eyes. Poised above the ivories. Tentatively she began playing a haunting melody. One that required more of the right than the left hand. It was sweet, sadly poignant, gradually building to a crescendo. She felt the vibrations all the way to her soul. Became so lost in the music she forgot the time, the world around her, even the man who stood dumbstruck, mesmerized by the angel in front of him eliciting music he only believed existed in heaven.
When she had emptied herself her playing becoming more tender. light and airy, sweet. She opened her eyes at last meeting his admiring gaze. There was something else in his eyes. A new knowledge. He had walked inside of her. She felt it. Strangely she didn’t feel violated. She rose gracefully from the bench heart shining through her eyes. This house was a miracle in the middle of the wilderness. In front of her was the man who loved her enough to make it a reality. He had reached out time and time again in the big and small ways that were important simply loving her showing that he cared. He treated her with dignity and respect. He came from a wonderful family she had loved and still missed. They in truth only had each other in this savage land.
She knew what she should do. It was the right thing to do. It would make him so happy and maybe in time she could fall in love with him the way he already felt about her now. She did love him. As her friend. Like her family. He could teach her to love him as a man. It was as if he read her mind. He rose from the sofa still mesmerized by her music. She was the most exquisite woman he’d ever seen. Dressed in a rose colored gown with that long dark hair cascading down her slender back. Totally feminine and so fragile looking. Her smile was all he needed to stride purposefully forward bending down on one knee.
“I want to do this properly.”
She gave him her hand wrapping her slim fingers around his larger ones reassuringly. She caressed the side of his cheek in a tender caress.
“I love you with all my heart. Will you marry me?”
Her eyes deepened with emotion almost to smoky blue. Her delicate lips curved upward. “Is tonight too soon? Do you think we could wake up the minister in Angel City?”
He whooped with joy. Picking her up Sean swung Xzan around in a bone shattering bear hug and then slowly loosened his grip to let her slide down the length of his torso provocatively as he kissed her thoroughly. Breathless she cocked an inquisitive eyebrow with new interest. Laughing in joyful abandonment he pulled her along before she could change her mind. They felt like conspirators sneaking out of the barn with hastily saddled horses. From the darkness of the cabin it appeared Jeb and Robert had retired early for the night. A blessing since they didn’t want to have to add more to their lies in explanation of leaving for town at this hour if they were caught.
They rode for nearly 3 hours. It was an exhausting journey but both were anxious to set things straight at long last and to begin the first day of the rest of their lives in their new home without feeling like sinners. They found the minister’s house behind the white steepled church. He didn’t seem at all perturbed or even especially shocked to be ousted from his bed at such an ungodly hour to marry an anxious couple. Maybe out west a lot of folks did things spur of the moment.
His wife a plump, sweet-faced woman with curly white hair and clear gray eyes, acted as their witness and maid of honor for the bride. The balding man still in his nightshirt put on his round spectacles, opened his well-worn bible sleepily and began reciting the vows. Sean never took his eyes off of her face. Smiling he solemnly promised to love, honor and cherish her till death, holding her tiny hands protectively, reverently in his own. Xzan’s fingers trembled with fear and excitement as he placed Maggie’s wedding band on her ring finger. The words the minister was reading touched her soul.
“This ring is symbolic of how marriage is. You go round and round. Life is a continuous cycle. You always come back together to the same place that brought you together. That is your love. This ring is a binding token of that love. Sean is placing it on Xzan’s finger showing his love and commitment. Xzan is accepting and wearing it to show her love and commitment as well. Let no man put asunder what God has joined together.”
When Sean kissed her as his wife for the first time it was a long, lingering kiss that promised a lifetime of love and happiness. They fused in that moment knowing that neither of them would ever be alone again. Marriage was such a big step in their lives it seemed like there should have been some kind of fanfare though secretly Xzan was kind of glad it had been a private occasion. It had seemed more dignified somehow without the stress of worrying about what the guest were thinking or how she looked and what would happen on her wedding night.
Getting married to Sean had seemed more real than marrying Brett. And she knew that he would never abuse her. Maybe because they both felt so alone in the world it was twice as meaningful to have chosen to be with each other to fill that void. She wished his family had been alive to share the moment. Shauna would have been so happy for them. Xzan knew that she had encouraged Sean’s feelings for her.
Sean’s family would have been so proud of him if they could see him now. He had grown to be a man. Unafraid to go forward to tame this savage land. Yet still sensitive enough to reach out and bring beauty in to that world and show tenderness to his woman. She had made the right decision. No more guilt for living a lie. No more empty nights lying alone longing for a lover that could never be there for her. Sean was a wonderful man and a good friend. There were worse reasons to marry. He loved her. She would grow to love him. Already he had piqued her curiosity with his kisses. Who would ever suspected he could have such a seductive mouth. She had never even notice his full sensual lips. She wondered where he had practiced kissing and learned the art so well. She could tell from the intimate way he held her in his arms that he was no stranger to making love.
They signed the marriage certificate, paid the man and thanked him and his wife, departing post haste to get back to farm before dawn. Euphoric they talked about everything imaginable on the long journey home. relishing the breeze and enjoying the full moon that lit their path. It was no longer her birthday. Their anniversary would be the day after it each year, easy for them both to remember.
When the horses were unsaddled and brushed Sean reached out eyes dark with passion, patient with understanding, waiting for her to extend her hand. She gave it to him allowing him to pull her into his arms. Groaning with need he kissed her with all his being burying his face in her neck exploring her dainty earlobe with the tip of his tongue. Liquid heat warmed her blood coursing through her veins so fast it took her breath away. He picked her up purposefully striding towards the door to the barn about to take her the distance to their new home, when she stopped him.
“Not tonight. Please…I want to be in familiar surrounding the first time.”
He grinned. “The first time? Does this mean you aren’t going to feign bridal jitters and ask me to sleep on the floor?”
She giggled at his teasing prodding his shoulder to be put down. He obliged following her tiny form to the loft. As she held up her skirts to climb up Sean reached up and did something he had longed to do for months. He reached under her skirt running his large palm sensually from her narrow ankles all the way up to the rounded curves of her behind stroking slowly with his breath coming in short rasps of excitement.
She gasped. It was scandalous. She was about to scold him w
hen she realized he had every right to touch her that way now. They reached the top rung of the ladder and he caught her to him ravishing her lips hungrily. His hands were busy untying, unlacing as his lips held her captive and his tongue darted in and out of it’s sweet recesses evoking feelings she had never known existed before. She panted eyes wide as saucers with wonder when he lay her on the bed in nothing but her camisole. She hadn’t had time to even feel shy he had undressed her so expertly. He lifted his head to look admiringly as he slowly undid the strings that held that filmy material together exposing the creamy smooth skin underneath.
She was so gorgeous he could barely contain himself. He tortured them both revealing one luscious inch of milky white skin at a time until she lay beside him totally exposed and vulnerable. He sucked in his breath. She was exquisite. So perfectly formed. From the tip of her dainty pink toes, the flat belly and diminutive waistline to the round full mounds tipped by pink elongated nipples ripe for a man’s mouth.
She emitted the intoxicating scent of roses. He buried his face in her neck inhaling deeply relishing in the baby soft skin and curtain of dark ringlets that spread across the pillow. He couldn’t get enough of her. She was flushed suddenly shy and a little frightened. He could tell she was as aroused as he was by the way she was breathing yet he felt her hesitation saw the fear in her glazed eyes.
“Just relax sugar. I won’t ever hurt you. I’ll be a good husband to you.” He grinned teasingly repeating the words he’d said to her years ago aboard the ship that had brought them west.
He whispered his love in her ear kissing her tantalizingly. Then he leaned over and blew out the candle, undressing himself hurriedly. His skin next to hers was hot satiny smooth. He gave her all the time in the world. Let her get used to his proximity tentatively exploring his masculinity while he gently stroked her from head to toe. Sean encouraged her to touch him moaning with pleasure when she complied. His fingers gradually worked down towards her most intimate parts and he spend a long time arousing her until she was arching to meet his touch and panting with excitement.
She was wet. Her body was ready for him and he was so aroused himself it was almost painful. He moved above her cradling the back of her delicate neck in his powerful hands kissing her deeply tasting her lips. Delving even deeper exploring the inner recesses while flicking his tongue against the roof of her mouth he teased the sensitive corners of her lips. He stayed like that for some time easing her into her arms letting her get used to him. He wanted it to be good for her too. For her to give without fear or holding back. He knew she cared for him but he wasn’t stupid enough to believe she was in love with him. She had married him because she was tired of being alone. He could live with that. For now. He hoped that once they became lovers she would feel different.
He felt her tense when he pressed his manhood against her seeking entry at last. He soothed her coaxing her to relax.
“It’s only me…It won’t hurt. If it does…just tell me. I’ll stop. I promise.”
He seemed so huge. Hard. Foreign to her insides. It didn’t hurt. Only scared her. He barely moved rocking gently until she began to feel the heat build. She moved instinctively urging him to speed up to assuage the ache that was growing stronger inside of her. He chuckled throatily and she gasped as he held her pulling her body upward to meet his thrust. He went even deeper and faster.
“Is this what you want?” he rasped. “It’s what I want too. Do you want more?” She couldn’t speak moaning in ecstasy.
He began taking longer strokes as she reached even higher peaks. They both soared together towards their climax clinging to each other riding higher and higher until they both plunged over the edge. Sean fell on his elbows supporting their combined weights trying not to crush her underneath him too exhausted to move. Still captured in her body their legs tangled intimately he bent his head and kissed her passionately. She wound slim arms around his neck deepening her response to his kiss.
“Your so beautiful.” He whispered.
“So are you.” she smiled. She could just make out his features in the moonlight that wafted through the rafters. He looked different somehow. She hadn’t even realized how much his face had changed the past year. His cheekbones were more prominent and his eyebrows seemed bushier. He had just turned 18 this year. For the first time since they met she didn’t feel an age difference. She was simply a woman in the arms the man she cared for and would spend the rest of her life with.
It was too late to go to sleep so they lay in the dark talking. Planning for their future. When dawn came they dressed and began gathering up things they would take to their new home. She asked if he would take her into town to stock up on supplies. Theirs were dwindling rapidly and she didn’t want to move out and take what little was left from Jeb and Robert. They would have to either learn to fend for themselves or walk to her house from now on. She hoped they would keep their house in order now that she had gotten it in shape and trained them to pick up after themselves.
She and Sean spent most of the morning going back and forth with the wagon. Their new home was even more impressive in the light of day than she remembered from the night before. She felt like she was living in a dream world. If she was she didn’t ever want to wake up.
Chapter Eleven
They fell into a happy routine the next few weeks. She insisted that the men clean up before coming in to her house and now that she felt she had some say in the matter that they should pray before each meal. She served Sean at the head of the table with Jeb and Robert on either side. Xzan sat at the other end of the table the way her mother had when she was growing up. If the men resented having to learn manners they kept it to themselves undoubtedly aware that if they offended her they wouldn’t have a home cooked meal. Jeb and Robert never balked at the ten-minute walk each evening to get there and they were getting quite proficient at washing up.
Now that she had modern conveniences to aid in preparing the meals the fare grew even more delicious. Xzan experimented with breads, rolls and different ways of preparing the meat and vegetables. She had kept the house spotless taking care of each piece of furniture like it was extremely fragile. It was priceless. Irreplaceable. She still had money that would be spent for the rest of their lives and their children. What was there had to last for the years that drought or hardships prevented them from sowing the land.
They were also thinking about taking on some extra hands to help get the crops started for next year. Extra mouths to feed, laundry to do and messes for her to clean but it would help her husband get the start he needed to make the farm productive. It was still a few months before they had to worry about that. Winter was setting in full force now. They wouldn’t even be able to go in to town for supplies soon. She had made a huge list last week with everything she could think of on it. Spices, sugar, flour, salt. Even a butter churn. Hers had worn out and she longed to be able to make butter, cheese, buttermilk, sour cream and cottage cheese curds to add to the flavor of their meals.
She had Sean purchase a few chickens and a rooster so they could produce fresh eggs for themselves and a cow, which she promised to milk herself. Another list which he hadn’t been allowed to read was handed to Mrs. Golden the mercantile owner’s wife. The contents of that box had been wrapped and she had the packages hidden in her room to make Christmas presents. Sean figured he’d get a shirt like the one she made him a few years ago. A different color of course. He still had that shirt even though he couldn’t wear it anymore. The sleeves weren’t too long now but the rest of the shirt was way too small. He would never part with it.
Whatever she had ordered had taken two large crates. He didn’t even know how much it cost. The money she’s sent had been sealed in an envelope and the change was returned in the same manner. Christmas was 25 days away. The one thing Xzan’s money hadn’t paid for was the piano. He had spent all but the last 11 dollars he had to his name for it. Nor would he ever tell her the exorbitant amount he had paid to transport it ou
t west. She would have been horrified.
If he hadn’t won the money gambling there was no way he could have afforded it in a lifetime. She kept telling him not to give her anything for Christmas. The house and its contents were too much already. He had ideas of his own. There were several items he was determined to give her. The question was how to find them. He’d already looked in Angel City. There wasn’t enough time to mail order before Christmas. He’d just have to keep looking around.
She still felt apprehensive every time they made love. He didn’t approach her as often as he would have like to respectful of her emotional turmoil. Many nights he just held her showing how much he loved her getting her used to being close physically in a way she could feel safe and protected. If he did reach out she seemed tense not really in the mood. He fondled her then backed off until he was sure she felt good about it. Tonight they had started tickling each other on her bed upstairs and she ran squealing through the corridors darting down the stairs two at a time, skirts held high showing off her trim ankles.
He’s captured her in the dining room proceeding to pull up her frock having his way with her, while they were still laughing right on top of the table. Once they were done she straightened her clothing chortling
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