They thanked everyone for being there. Then Mr. Dewitt kissed his wife’s hand, and she handed him the microphone.
“Thirty years,” he said as he turned his gaze on to his wife. The crowd broke out into applause and whistles.
“Thirty wonderful years,” he amended, making Mrs. Dewitt laugh.
“What’s the secret?” someone called out from the crowd.
Mr. Dewitt appeared thoughtful. “Well, I’ll tell you what the secret is not. Perfection. People enter marriage thinking that their life will be perfect now that they’ve met their spouse.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Jack noticed Amelia’s husband, Charlie, walk away, leaving Amelia standing all alone, in the shadows beyond the patio. Emerson gestured for her sister to come stand by her and Jack, but Amelia shook her head.
“The thing is,” Mr. Dewitt continued, “marriage is not a perfect union. There are often more hard times than good. Those are the times that define you.
“When Beatrice and I first married, I was offered an amazing new job. It was everything I had worked for, everything I wanted.”
“But it was up here in Alexandria,” Mrs. Dewitt chimed in.
“And that was scary for two people who had spent their lives in Spartanburg, South Carolina. But she followed me up here. Left her friends and family and everything she knew and made the move.”
Once again, Mrs. Dewitt took the microphone. “I didn’t understand the need to move to Northern Virginia, but I supported him anyway. Just like I dare say Walt didn’t understand my need to open a wedding-dress boutique.” Laughter spread throughout the crowd. “But he supported me every step of the way.”
They leaned together for a quick kiss. The crowd clapped and cheered.
“I must be remiss to point out that it’s not just about supporting the one you love. Equally essential is to be selfish from time to time. Be kind to yourself.”
The speech went on and he heard plenty of “oohs” and “aahs” from the guests. But Jack had stopped listening. He was too concerned with the auburn-haired beauty next to him.
The one who had stopped holding his hand.
Chapter Thirteen
Emerson couldn’t explain what had just happened.
All she knew was that she’d been listening to her parents’ speech and something inside her had shifted. It felt like a weight she’d been carrying around for most of her life had been lifted.
Suddenly, she realized she was good enough. And not only because she was with Jack. She was enough on her own.
Her mother had spoken of being selfish and kind to yourself. Those words made something click in her mind.
She did support Jack. She understood his issues and the decision he had to make with his father’s bar. She got—maybe more than he did himself—his hang-ups with his mother.
But dammit, where did she factor into the equation? It seemed like she was giving a lot more than he was.
Emerson didn’t want to compete with a bar. Nor did she want to be completely dismissed because of issues that Jack hadn’t yet dealt with.
She was good enough and she wanted to be recognized. She wanted more than what she had right now.
As her parents’ guests cheered and offered their congratulations, she backed away. Jack faced her.
“Em?” he asked, with curiosity and confusion in that one word.
Without warning, words exploded out of her mouth. “Are you going to stay here?”
Jack’s eyes darkened, a contrast to the pallor his face had just taken on. She knew it was a ridiculous question. He’d just told her minutes ago that he hadn’t made any decisions. But dammit, that was the point. Why was this so hard for him?
He reached for her hand, the hand she’d removed from his moments before. She took another step back.
His jaw was working, as if he wanted to say something. The problem was that she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear it. So she turned and walked away, heading through the garden, away from the crowd.
She knew he was following her. Could feel his presence as she ended up at the same gazebo where they’d shared their first kiss.
“We’re back here,” he said, obviously referring to the gazebo.
“We’ve never left,” she replied, speaking of something entirely different.
“What’s going on, Em?”
She knew she needed to be straight with him. He deserved that. And she deserved some answers, as well. Even if the thought of him leaving town left her with a cold feeling in the pit of her stomach.
What she knew of Jack was that he didn’t stay in one place for long. Even though she’d realized a while ago that his wanderlust probably had to do with the loss of his mother, it didn’t help her feel any more settled.
They’d started off as strangers who had made a deal to help each other, and then their fake relationship had evolved. For her, it wasn’t pretend anymore. It hadn’t been for quite some time. She didn’t know when the change had occurred. Didn’t really care.
Emerson realized that she felt more for Jack than she had for any other man in her life, including her former fiancé. How could that happen in such a short period of time?
All of those words her parents had spoken during their toast were real. They were true. They were the way she felt about Jack.
When he entered a room, her heart rate increased. When he wasn’t around, her thoughts drifted to him. When he touched her, kissed her, made love to her, she thought of nothing else.
But that needed to change. It was time to start thinking of herself.
She leveled a serious stare at him. “Jack, I need to know if you’re going to stick around. I deserve to know.”
“Emerson,” he began, throwing his palms up in front of him.
She shook her head. “No, don’t do that. Don’t evade the question.” She took a long, deep breath. “We’re not having a fake relationship anymore.”
Silence hung between them. She could hear the other party guests talking and laughing near the house.
Finally, he said, “No, we’re not.”
She gestured back and forth between them. “This is real between us.”
“Yes.”
“Then you need to tell me your plans.”
“Emerson, I don’t know yet. I’ve been honest about that.”
“I’m not saying you haven’t been honest.”
“Then, what are you saying?”
She fought the urge to rub her temples. A headache had begun to form. “I’m saying that if this is a real relationship between us, then I should be a part of your decision. I’m saying that, well, I’m worthy of a little respect.”
He cocked his head. “Worthy? Of course you’re worthy. You deserve respect and admiration. And...love.”
“So why aren’t you giving me any?”
It was the most empowering statement she’d ever made. She wished she’d said it earlier in her life. To her mother, her sister, her ex-fiance. Instead she was saying it to the one person who had made her realize she could say it at all.
She wanted Jack. More than she could even believe. There was so much she would be willing to give up for him.
There was just one thing she valued higher than him. One thing she absolutely could not do without.
Herself.
* * *
Jack was flummoxed. Even though there was space—too much space—between them, he felt like she’d just reached into his chest and squeezed his heart until he couldn’t breathe.
Emerson didn’t think he was respecting her. Even though he tended to keep women and relationships in his life at arm’s length, he’d always shown kindness and respect to any female in his life.
Still, she had a point. He’d been stringing her along because he couldn’t make a decision. If he wasn’t so hurt over her accusation,
he would be proud of her. She was finally standing up for herself. Much to his detriment.
“Emerson, I never meant to—”
She quickly cut him off. “Even if you want to leave Alexandria because you don’t want to own a bar or, hell, there’s just some place you’d rather live, you are keeping me in the dark. If we’re in a real relationship, you should be consulting me. Did it ever occur to you that I might want to come with you?”
He felt his mouth drop open. She would want to leave her life, her family and her business to go with him?
His earlier longing to be part of a family unit returned. How different his life would have been if Emerson had been by his side: traveling the world, experiencing all of the different adventures he’d had.
She was shaking her head, with disappointment written all over her face. “No, it hasn’t occurred to you to talk to me about any of this. I guess you also haven’t realized just how much I care about you. Or maybe the problem is that you don’t care that much about me.”
Now he did step toward her. He grabbed her upper arms and shook her lightly. “How in the hell can you say that?”
But he knew. It wasn’t like he’d told her.
He released her arms and took her hands gently in his. Looking deep into her beautiful blue eyes, he said, “I care so much about you, Em. You’ve come to mean so much to me.”
“Not enough.”
He dropped her hands. She’d realized her power over him, and now she was running with it. He found himself growing irritated.
“I don’t see what my feelings for you have to do with my decision. It’s mine to make. The consequences will be something I have to deal with. We only met a month ago.”
Her eyes widened. For a second, he thought she might tear up. But she didn’t. Instead she started to turn away, and that small action had his blood shooting to boil. He grabbed her arm and spun her back around to face him.
“What are you doing—?”
“No,” he said, cutting her off. “What are you doing? Running away? Again.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It’s what you do, isn’t it? Things get heated and you climb out of a window.”
Her mouth fell open and then quickly shut. He’d hit way below the belt and he knew it. The hurt in her eyes was the equivalent of a sucker punch to his gut.
“That’s so not fair. That was one, and only one, time. Besides, it’s laughable coming from you. You’re the undisputed king of running when things get tough.”
A truer statement had never been uttered. She knew it was true, and she knew that he knew it was true. Still, he couldn’t admit that. Not to her. Not to anyone.
“When was the last time you were in town, Jack? How long did you stay away from Alexandria?” She shoved a hand through her hair, dislodging the pretty sparkly flower she’d anchored in her curls.
“You know I have regrets about that,” he said.
“And yet you kept running. What happened when things didn’t go right on a job? You’d run. You ran and ran and ran.”
“Emerson, damn it. At least I did things for myself. At least I wasn’t afraid to go after what I wanted, no matter what anyone thought. I never cared if I was disappointing my family. I did things for me.”
She jutted a stubborn chin out. “And look where that got you. All alone.”
“Better than being overly dependent on my mother’s opinions of me.”
She let out a sound of annoyance. “You know what? I don’t need this kind of BS right now. Especially not from you.”
She was right. She already got enough grief from her mother. And she’d been through a really tough year.
He relented. “Your mother loves you, even if she stresses you out by being so...overprotective, shall we say? You know that you are amazing. Tonight, you stuck up for yourself with me. But now it’s time for you to stand up to your mother.”
Silence descended on them. It was as if the party had ceased. Even the creatures of the night stopped making their natural sounds. It was as if the whole universe had been shocked by his words. Jack knew the feeling. He held his breath, waiting on Emerson’s reply to his request.
Tentatively, he glanced at Emerson. Her face expressed a dozen different emotions—most noticeably surprise—in a very short span of time.
“I’m sorry,” they both said at the same time.
It was his turn to shove a hand through his hair. “What are you sorry for?”
She shook her head slowly. “I’m sorry that I’ve drawn you into this circus. Into the inner workings of my family.”
She took a few steps to the right and then back to the left. “I’m sorry we ever lied about being in a relationship. I’m sorry I couldn’t handle this party by myself.”
“Em—”
She continued as if he hadn’t said anything. “I’m sorry you don’t want to stay here in Alexandria. I’m sorry that you don’t enjoy having your dad’s bar and house, and cute little Cosmo.”
“Now, that’s not entirely—”
She placed a hand on his chest to stop him and drew in a big breath. Then she looked directly into his eyes. “I’m sorry your dad wasn’t there for you after your mother’s death. And...I’m sorry that you truly don’t see how much losing your mother has affected everything in your life.”
His mother’s death had happened almost two decades ago. He was over it.
Wasn’t he?
He stepped back and Emerson’s hand dropped.
Of course he wasn’t over it. How did you ever get over the loss of a parent?
But, dammit, that wasn’t controlling his life. He didn’t let her death permeate other areas.
He turned on Emerson. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Anger emphasized each word. How dare she say that?
Emerson didn’t back down. “Actually, the problem is that I really do.” She started walking away but paused and then spun back around. “Talking about your mother with me isn’t what you need, Jack.”
“You’re an expert on what I need? Enlighten me.”
“You need closure. I don’t know what you need to do to get it. But I can’t help you with that.”
The nerve of her. Just because he had revealed a bit of his past to her the other night didn’t make her some kind of expert on what he needed. “We’re done here.”
She nodded slowly. “I know.”
“No, I mean we’re done completely. This relationship is over.”
She glanced down at the ground, then back up to him, and her eyes were shimmering, not just with tears, but with understanding. “I know,” she repeated. “I’ve hurt you. It’s time for you to run.”
With that, she shoved past him and headed back toward the house.
I’ve hurt you. It’s time for you to run.
What the hell did that mean? More importantly, was it true?
Jack had no idea. All he did know at the moment was that Emerson hadn’t merely hurt him. She’d ripped his heart out and stomped all over it.
Without her, he had nothing left here. It truly was time to go.
Chapter Fourteen
The next morning, Jack and Xander were at The Wright Drink, bright and early, doing inventory. Correction—Jack was doing inventory. Xander was sitting around, recounting some story about a woman he’d met at the Dewitt party the night before.
Jack should be tired. He’d barely slept the night before. After making sure Grace could give Emerson a ride home, he said his goodbyes to Mr. and Mrs. Dewitt, who’d given him odd stares. Obviously, he and Emerson should have left together.
Whatever. There was no more him and Emerson.
“She was a knockout,” Xander was saying. “Blond hair, big blue eyes and incredibly intelligent.”
“Uh-huh.”
“We
were having the best conversation about Europe too, until Emerson’s annoying friend stopped by.”
Jack looked up. “Who, Grace?”
“Grace.” Xander ground out her name between a clenched jaw. “That woman drives me nuts.”
“I think she’s sweet.”
“What do you know?”
“A lot more than you, obviously.” He’d meant it lightly, but it apparently hadn’t come out that way. Xander faced him.
“Where’s Cosmo?”
Customers were constantly asking about the dog. The guy who delivered the beer had questioned Jack about Cosmo’s absence. Now Xander was asking about him. Apparently, his dad had often brought him into the bar. Jack had to admit it had been nice to return to his empty, lonely house, after things had ended with Emerson, to find the mutt excitedly waiting for him. As if he knew Jack had a crappy night, he’d snuggled extra-close to him in bed. Which Jack had to admit was nice. Still, he didn’t belong in a bar.
“There are health codes.”
Xander shrugged. “Your dad always had him in here.”
Jack slammed his clipboard down just a touch too hard. “I’m not my dad.”
Xander nodded slowly. “I was going to let it slide, but now my curiosity is piqued. You’ve been in a foul mood all morning. What gives?”
“You’re supposed to be helping me with this inventory, and instead you’re sitting on those boxes, waxing poetic about some blonde you met and telling me how much you hate Emerson’s best friend.”
Xander wagged a finger in his general direction. “Hey, did I say hate? I never said hate. Hate is a very strong word. Let’s go with strongly dislike.”
“Whatever,” Jack muttered under his breath.
“Emerson is really cool and laid-back. Weird that she would be friends with someone so high-strung. And annoying.”
Jack really didn’t want to think about Emerson right now. But unfortunately she was all he was thinking about.
He and Emerson had made an arrangement. They had lied in order to help each other. Maybe they’d taken it to the next level, but they were both healthy, consenting adults. There was nothing to feel guilty about.
The Dating Arrangement Page 16