by King, Karen
Lily closed down the photo gallery and put her phone back down on the table. That was the million-dollar question. ‘It’s a long story…’
Jenni fixed her an intense look. ‘Go ahead.’
So Lily found herself telling Jenni about the letter and admitting how she had gone to Maria’s place of work to try and find out more about her, how she had talked to her staff, their replies making her even more curious. Then a couple of days later Emma had been sent home ill, and as it was Lily’s day off she’d taken her home and decided to have a quick look around while Emma was sleeping.
Jenni listened, her disapproval evident. ‘Lil, that is wrong on so many levels.’
‘I know. But she’s hiding something. I know she is,’ Lily said defensively. ‘You didn’t see her face when Emma brought that letter in. And she’s so jumpy and overprotective of Emma. It’s almost as if she’s always waiting for something to happen. As if she’s hiding from someone.’
That got Jenni’s interest. ‘Do you think she was in an abusive relationship once and she ran from the guy, created a new identity and is scared that he might find her?’ she suggested.
That was something that hadn’t occurred to Lily but now she thought that Jenni might have hit on something. Maria could be hiding from someone from her past.
‘I hadn’t considered that. You know, I think you could be right,’ she said slowly.
Jenni ate her last morsel of cake. ‘In that case, it’s not her fault, is it? You should be on her side if she’s had to run from someone abusive.’
‘Except that if Maria is in danger, then Emma could be too. And my dad,’ Lily pointed out.
* * *
The more she thought about it, the more Lily was convinced that Jenni had hit on the right answer and Maria was hiding from someone. It made sense why she never talked about her past, why she was so protective of Emma, so secretive about everything, and had no social media profile apart from her salon page, which had very little personal info. And her reluctance to do the newspaper interview. Was the letter which had shaken her up so much from the person she was hiding from? Had they tracked her down? Lily thought about the reports she had read of women killed by their abusive ex-partners. What if Maria’s ex came for her and Emma or their father got injured too? It was too awful to contemplate.
I’ve got to talk to Seb about this, she decided. Think of a way to talk to Dad too, he needs to know.
Seb always thought she was being overly suspicious though, and her dad wouldn’t believe her. Not unless she had some proof. If only she could have got hold of that letter. Then a thought occurred to her: surely whoever was sending the letter wouldn’t stop at one. There would be other letters too. Another big thought exploded into her mind: the letter had been hand-delivered. Whoever had sent the letter had actually been to the house!
This was serious.
She had to act fast, but what should she do?
38
Lily
‘I think Maria is hiding from someone,’ Lily said when Seb returned home that evening.
Seb raised an eyebrow. ‘I thought you were convinced she’d done something dark and dastardly.’ She could hear the teasing in his voice and it irritated her. She wished he would take her seriously about this.
‘I said there was something suspicious about her and that she was hiding something, and I’m right, she is. But I was talking to Jenni today, and she suggested that Maria could be hiding from someone. It makes sense.’ She related her conversation with Jenni, and Maria’s reaction when Emma had asked for a photograph of her parents to put on the family tree wall.
Seb shook his head. ‘I think your imagination is working overtime, Lil. Maria said both her parents are dead so maybe she would find it upsetting to have a photo of them on the family tree. And how did you make the leap from that to thinking that she’s hiding from someone?’
‘I think that she fell out with her parents. That’s why she keeps their photo face down in the bottom of her dressing table drawer.’
Seb puckered his eyebrows. ‘And you know this how?’
Lily felt her cheeks get hot. ‘I found it there.’
Seb looked aghast. ‘Lil! You mean you were snooping around in your father and Maria’s bedroom?’
Now her cheeks were burning. ‘Yes, because I know something is going on and I wanted to find proof.’
‘Look, if Maria was shady, she wouldn’t be doing all this charity work, would she?’ Seb pointed out. ‘She’ll do anything for anyone. You’ve got to stop this, Lil. If your dad finds out what you’ve been up to he will be furious. So will Maria.’
‘She’s either hiding something or hiding from someone, Seb, and I need to find out… Emma could be in danger.’ Lily picked up her phone and slid across to the photo. ‘This is the couple in the photo. I’m sure they are Maria’s parents – she looks a bit like her mother only Maria’s hair is darker.’
Seb glanced at the photo and frowned.
‘What is it?’
He scratched his head. ‘I dunno. I feel like I know them from somewhere but I can’t think where.’
‘Know them as in you’ve met them, or know them as in maybe read about them in a newspaper?’
‘I don’t know, Lil.’ His eyes were fixed on the couple. ‘There’s just something familiar about them.’
‘The only reason why she would hide the photo was if she didn’t want anyone to see it.’ Then an idea struck her. ‘Maybe it isn’t Maria who did something, maybe it was her dad or mum? And someone is out to get revenge.’
‘It all sounds a bit far-fetched, babe. Like something from one of those True Life mags you read.’
‘You didn’t see her face when she got that letter.’ God, Seb’s ‘Maria can do no wrong’ attitude really annoyed her! ‘Someone is onto her, and she’s scared of them. And if Maria is in danger, Emma and Dad could be too.’
She looked at the photo again. How could she find out who these people were?
‘Come on, babe, forget about Maria for a bit. We’re supposed to be going to Joe’s for a curry tonight, remember? I’m going to jump in the shower and get changed then we’ll have to set off.’
She had forgotten. Joe and Seb had been friends since they were kids and Lily got on really well with Stacey, his new girlfriend. ‘I’ll make us a coffee then go and get changed too,’ she said. An evening with friends was just what she needed to take her mind off things; she was going nuts trying to figure it all out.
* * *
Joe had made the curry himself, and they all sat outside on the patio, eating it with naan bread and poppadoms, swilled down with fruit cider – as they only lived a short drive away, Seb and Lily had taken a taxi so they could have a couple of drinks.
Lily took a few photos to put on Facebook, laughing and joking.
‘Let me check them first, before you upload them,’ Stacey said.
‘Women!’ Seb and Joe said in unison, groaning and exchanging mock-exasperated faces.
They all leant over Lily’s shoulder as she slid through the photos.
‘Delete!’ Stacey screwed up her face. ‘Delete. Oh, that one’s okay, and that one.’
‘You can delete that one, I look like I’ve got a beer belly,’ Joe said.
‘You have,’ Stacey teased, playfully patting Joe’s flat tummy.
‘This is a nice photo of us all. I’ll put this up, shall I?’ she asked, putting her fingers on the screen to enlarge the photo to make sure none of them were pulling an awkward face.
‘Hey, that’s great,’ Stacey agreed.
Lily swiped to the next photo. ‘Oh, we’re at the end of them,’ she said as the photo of the couple in Maria’s photograph slid into view.
‘Why have you got a photo of the Lawsons? Do you know them?’ Joe asked.
‘The Lawsons?’ Lily stared at him.
‘Of course, that’s who it is!’ Seb slapped his forehead. ‘I knew I recognised them. They owned the corner shop at the end of the str
eet you lived in as a kid, didn’t they?’
‘Yep.’ Joe fixed his gaze on Lily. ‘So, what are you doing with a photograph of them?’
How the hell did she explain this? Then she remembered the family tree wall she’d promised to do for Emma. ‘It’s my stepmother’s photo. I’m doing a family tree wall for my little sister, and I think these are her parents.’
Joe shook his head. ‘No, they can’t be. The Lawsons didn’t have any children. I remember Mum saying that Edward – Mr Lawson – had told her that once. She thought that was why his wife was always so sad.’
He pointed at Mrs Lawson. ‘I heard she had a breakdown, I think. They sold up the shop after a couple of years. I don’t know what happened to them then.’
Well, bang went another theory. But it was obvious that the Lawsons were connected to Maria in some way or else why would she have a photo of them?
39
Maria
One day before Emma disappeared
Thank goodness it’s the weekend, thought Maria. She had felt so tense this week, and the salon had been really busy. The newspaper article had certainly brought in a flurry of new clients, and requests from cancer patients for beauty care. Maria wished she could treat them all. She hated turning anyone down, knowing how much they suffered and how much a makeover, a new hairstyle or wig transformed their lives. Ruth had often told her that the visits to the salon, and then later Maria’s visits to her house, were the highlight of her week. ‘You’ve got wings on your back, Maria,’ she often said. ‘People like you are so rare. You’ll do anything to help anyone.’
Whatever she did though, no matter how many people she helped, it would never atone for causing a child’s death. Maria closed her eyes briefly, fighting back the twenty-two-year-old memory that was never far from her mind. It was an accident, she reminded herself. But a precious young life had been lost and she knew that nothing she did would ever make up for that. Sometimes that knowledge engulfed her, threatening to drown her in a sea of despair, and she wanted to take to her bed, shut herself away from the world, but she refused. She would keep trying to atone, she had to. It was all she had left.
But now her secret was in danger of being revealed, and that would impact on so many lives.
There had been no letter yesterday. No message written in red, designed to frighten her. To remind her that someone knew what she had done, who she used to be.
Was the writer tormenting her, letting her think that it was all over, and then wham! Would the next letter reveal a blackmail threat, a demand for a ridiculous amount of money to buy their silence? Were they planning on delivering the letter today, when Gareth was home? Or when they were at the church fundraiser, so that she would come back and find it? What if it was one of the villagers, someone who was going to the fundraiser, one of Gareth’s friends just waiting for an opportunity to expose Maria’s terrible past to him? Nausea welled up in her stomach. She took some deep breaths, steadied herself.
Sometimes she wished that she had never met Ruth; then Gareth and Emma would be safe. She had been selfish, wanting love, a family, all the things she didn’t deserve. She should have walked away.
She took another deep breath, then another. She had to carry on, be watchful. Maybe she was worrying over nothing. Maybe there would be no more letters. Maybe whoever was sending them was a random nutter who knew nothing about Maria’s past but had been jealous of the newspaper article and wanted to torment her. Perhaps they had tired of it now.
She didn’t believe it, though. Inside she knew that she was living on borrowed time. How she wished she didn’t have to go to the church fundraiser this afternoon, but she and Gareth had agreed to help and couldn’t let everyone down. It was being held in the large vicarage garden, and there were games for the children, lots of stalls to buy odds and ends, a tombola and a raffle. It should be fun for Emma, at least. Lily was coming along too, although Maria wished she wasn’t. She felt uneasy around Lily, wished she never had to see her again, but there was no chance of that.
She had been grateful that Lily had taken Emma shopping this morning, though, as it had given Maria a chance to make some fairy cakes and tidy up the house. Gareth kept trying to persuade her to hire a cleaner, telling her that she was doing too much, but Maria couldn’t bear the thought of someone in the house when she wasn’t there, snooping through her things. Like Lily had done.
* * *
Lily and Emma came back laden with shopping, Emma’s cheeks flushed with happiness.
‘Do you want to stop for a cup of coffee, or a glass of something cool?’ Maria asked Lily, hoping she would say no. She didn’t want Lily here; she felt on edge, listening for the sound of something being pushed through the letterbox, and could feel Lily’s eyes on her, watching her. Her nerves felt at screaming point.
‘Thanks, but there’s a couple of things I want to do at home before the church fundraiser,’ Lily said. Then she frowned. ‘You look a bit pale, Maria. Why don’t you go and have a rest for a while? I can look after Emma and bring her over to the vicarage this afternoon.’
Maria shook her head. ‘That’s very kind of you but I’m fine, really I am. Shall we meet you in the vicarage grounds then? The fundraiser starts at two but Gareth and I are going early to help set up the stalls.’
Lily nodded. ‘I might be a little late but I’ll be there.’ She gave Emma a hug. ‘See you later, darling.’
Maria sighed with relief when she heard the door shut behind Lily. Thank goodness. She turned to Emma, a bright smile fixed on her face. ‘Want to help me ice the fairy cakes?’
‘Yes, please!’ Emma said eagerly.
* * *
Gareth had phoned to say he would meet them at the vicarage – he had a meeting with a client that morning – so Maria and Emma had an early lunch and put the cakes they had iced in a tin, then Maria picked up her car keys. ‘Do you need the loo, Emma? We have to go now.’
‘Oooh, yes!’ Emma scrambled down from the table and out into the hall. Maria followed her, carrying the tin of cakes. She paused as she heard the letterbox flap and saw a letter being pushed through. As she glimpsed the shadow of a figure in the frosted glass, her throat tightened. She was about to run to the door to see who it was when Emma came out of the loo. ‘Mummy, I can’t do up the button on my shorts.’
Maria quickly did up the button then ran to the door, grabbed the letter, pulled the door open and looked up and down the street. A couple of the neighbours were out in their gardens and a man was walking up the road in the distance. Had that man pushed the letter through then hurried away? Or one of the neighbours?
‘What are you looking for, Mummy?’ Emma was by her side now.
Maria smiled down at her. ‘I thought I heard someone knock on the door, but it was just a letter.’ She glanced down at the envelope in her hand and her blood turned to ice when she saw the familiar red writing, but this time there was a different name printed on the envelope, a name she hadn’t let herself think about for years:
STEFANIE
Maria’s hand shook as she opened the envelope and pulled out the piece of paper inside.
YOU DON’T DESERVE TO HAVE A DAUGHTER.
She swallowed, her heart thudding in her chest.
‘Are you okay, Mummy?’ Emma’s hand slipped into hers and she was looking up at her anxiously.
‘I’m fine, darling,’ Maria reassured her, shoving the letter in her handbag. ‘Now come on, we’d better get going or we’ll be late.’ Her nerves were screaming, ‘Don’t go!’ as she took her little stepdaughter’s hand, and she wondered whether to feign illness. Even Lily had said she looked pale. But she knew how much Emma was looking forward to it, and how the vicar was relying on her. So she walked out of the house, hand in hand with Emma, took a big gulp of the summer air to calm herself down, and set off.
40
Maria
There were already a few of the villagers in the vicarage garden, setting up the stalls and games. Maria went
straight over to help, while Emma played with some friends, and when Gareth arrived shortly afterwards he joined her. They had both been asked to man the raffle stall so were soon busy putting out the prizes.
‘Make sure you don’t go out of the grounds, Emma,’ Maria warned her. She constantly checked where Emma was, keeping her eyes open for the strange woman who had stared at them at the summer fayre last week, wondering if she would come to the fundraiser too, and if she was the one sending the letters. It could be one of the people here, it could be anyone. The knowledge that her past could be exposed any minute formed a permanent knot of anxiety in her stomach. Every time someone came to buy a raffle ticket, she couldn’t help wondering if they were the one who knew her dreadful secret.
‘Are you all right, Maria? You seem a bit tense and you’ve been looking so tired just lately,’ Gareth asked softly. ‘Would you like to go home and have a lie-down? I’m sure people will understand if I say you’re ill.’
Maria shook her head. ‘No, I’ll be fine, honestly,’ she replied even though that was exactly what she wanted to do. She wanted to run, run away and never come back.
Breathe. Smile. It will all be over in a couple of hours, she told herself. She heard Emma shout, ‘Hello, Lily!’ and looked over to see her elder stepdaughter walking towards them. She’d been surprised when Lily had said she was coming; it was unusual for Lily to come to a village event. Was Lily keeping tabs on her? Was she the one who had sent the letters?