Suddenly she turned in his embrace and leaned her head against his chest. She unfolded her arms and wrapped them around him, hugging him tight and shocking the shit out of him. “I don’t deserve you,” she muttered into his shirt.
“You do.” His hands flailed behind her for a moment as he tried to decide what to do. Finally he settled on stroking her hair. He inhaled her scent and closed his eyes.
The way she pressed against him made it impossible to hide his hard-on, and he would forever have a hard-on around her so it was unavoidable.
For long minutes she held on to him. She relaxed in small increments, her body settling against his in a perfect fit.
It wasn’t enough, but it was heaven while it lasted.
Chapter Twelve
Ashley wasn’t being fair. She knew that cognitively. She knew it as deeply and firmly as she knew he sported the hugest erection of his life and it was currently pressing into her stomach.
She didn’t care. No—couldn’t. She needed him and this was all she could muster right now.
She wanted to ask him to stay forever and let her torture him with her presence until he broke. But she wasn’t that big of a bitch.
Was she in fact testing him to see if his words would match his deeds? How cruel.
She flinched and wanted to step away, to stop the madness. But she couldn’t bring herself to let go and end the best moment of her life. Even though the moment had turned into several minutes.
She knew her breathing evened out and her chest stopped beating as hard as it had been. Calmness filtered into her. He did that to her. With a touch to her hand, she soaked in peace and tranquility. For the first time in years.
He wouldn’t hurt her. Never. She knew that intellectually. If only she could tell her body that.
Not that she didn’t react to him. She did indeed. Her pussy throbbed. It had since he’d stepped on the first stair on his way down toward her. She just didn’t know what to do with the feelings he evoked. They scared her. They swarmed around the room and seeped into her skin. She felt both frightened and elated at the same time.
He set his chin on top of her head, so tentatively she nearly wept at his sensitivity. She squeezed his waist harder. It had been so long since she’d felt this safe and craved this kind of contact. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.
She lifted her face and leaned back to see his expression.
His brows were furrowed, but in concentration, not anger. He was trying to read her.
“I’m all over the board with my emotions.”
“It’s okay.” He stroked her hair and cupped the back of her head.
“Kiss me.” She gasped, shocked at her forwardness and the fact she’d blurted those words out. She hadn’t dreamed of going this far so fast—as if first base were a marathon.
He didn’t move. In fact, his eyes narrowed. “Are you sure?” He stiffened.
So sweet. So kind. Too fucking sweet and kind, and he was killing her with his patience.
“Now. Before I change my mind. Now, so I know what it feels like to be kissed by someone who means well.”
He hesitated, reading her, his gaze traveling all over her face. And then he leaned the few inches that separated their lips and grazed his over hers.
It wasn’t enough. She needed more. Her body controlled this…thing. Not her mind.
She lifted up on tiptoes and deepened the contact. Her arms traveled up the hard length of his back and dug into his hair, pulling his head down toward her.
He tipped his face to one side and their mouths fit together like a puzzle, lips pressing into lips. And she moaned. Her first real kiss.
She’d been so innocent when Damon had snatched her. And he’d never kissed her. There had never been an inkling of passion behind his advances.
Her body came alive and she concentrated on Evan, letting Damon fall crushed beneath her feet. She ground her toe against the carpet for emphasis.
Of its own accord, her tongue reached out to graze the slit between Evan’s lips.
Evan moaned and hauled her closer. She didn’t flinch. She needed more.
He dipped his tongue inside her mouth and teased her with gentle swipes against the roof of her mouth, her cheeks, her teeth, her tongue. He tasted of…Evan…a flavor she would crave for the rest of her life.
She became aware of the rest of her body in a way she’d never experienced. Sure, she’d felt the hardening in the lower part of her belly in Evan’s presence before, but now her entire stature was engaging. Her nipples stiffened. Her breasts felt heavy and she pressed them into his chest.
Her sex swelled inside her jeans and she squirmed against the pressure and need to rub her clit against the denim.
Evan broke the kiss. She couldn’t see straight as he stepped back a pace and held her at arm’s length. He took several long drags of oxygen before she could get her eyes to focus.
“Why…?”
“Oh, baby. You took off like a rocket.”
“So?”
“So, one minute ago you told me you didn’t think you would ever be able to stand being touched.”
Oh, yeah that. I’m such a bitch. A tease.
“Don’t look like that.” He soothed a finger down the side of her cheek.
Her face was on fire. It burned against his cool finger.
He tapped her nose. “You’re fucking gorgeous when you’re aroused.” He stepped back and let her go entirely. “Shit.” He ran a hand through his hair and glanced around the room.
“I’m sorry.” She felt his anxiety. She was cruel.
“Oh, baby. Don’t be. This isn’t your fault. Stop apologizing.” He looked at her, but didn’t reach for her again. “I just need a moment. I let myself get carried away.”
“So did I,” she muttered. Her face fell in shame. She was such a heel.
He stepped into her space once again and lifted her chin. “You’re sexy and gorgeous and I will always cherish this moment. But, I don’t want to rush things and risk you regretting our rate of incline later. Baby steps.”
She didn’t feel like taking baby steps right now, but he was right. If she didn’t rein in her lust, she would risk regretting her decision to mate.
His finger felt cool against her chin, and when he stroked it up and down the length of her neck she gasped, a shiver racing from her head to her toes. “Please don’t go,” she pleaded. She wrapped her arms across her front again, hugging herself tight.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
“I meant…ever.”
“Okay.” Except I have to work. Damn. Hours ago he’d agreed to investigate Damon Parkfield and his drugs for The Head Council. He’d signed an agreement and a contract. Hell, he’d signed a non-disclosure clause that prevented him from mentioning the job to Ashley. He had no choice now but to work the case and lie to her about his job.
His shoulders slumped. “Except when I’m working.”
“I thought you had expanded your company so you wouldn’t have to travel so much? Josh said—”
“Yeah, that was before.”
“Before what? Oh…me.” She didn’t hesitate between the two sets of words before she realized what he meant.
“It’s not that so much. It’s that I’m working on a case that requires my attendance. I committed to the client that I would handle it myself. It’s sensitive.”
She narrowed her gaze at him. “Is it dangerous?”
He shook his head. “No. Don’t worry about it, but I will have to travel until it’s done.”
“Oh.” She couldn’t prevent the deflated facial expression she knew she bore.
“Whenever I can, I’ll be with you.”
“I’m a pain in the ass.”
“No you aren’t. You’re a woman with PTSD and I get that. You earned it. I’ll chase it away. Slowly but surely. Trust me?”
She nodded. But she didn’t feel good about what she was asking of him. She wanted to have her cake—hell, all the cake in the unive
rse—and eat it too.
“It’s late. You look exhausted,” he said.
“I haven’t slept well in…” Four and a half years.
•●•
“I know. I’m here now. I won’t leave. Tell me where you want me and I’ll stay right there until you wake up.” He glanced at his watch. Hell, it was late. Almost eleven. He’d been awake for hours. He’d been on a very early flight to Seattle and then another flight to St. Louis. Exhaustion would kick in. But would it win in a fight against the arousal he felt in Ashley’s presence?
“Come on.” She grabbed his hand and tugged him along behind her. He trailed her up the stairs and down a hall. It was quite. Her parents would have gone to bed by now. She stepped into a room on one side of the hall and shut the door with a quiet snick behind her.
She giggled again. “I feel like a teenager sneaking around behind my parents’ backs.”
“Yeah, well I don’t think they will be opposed to my being here in this case.”
“No, but it still feels weird.” She pointed at a room off to the side. “The bathroom. Go ahead. I’ll change.”
He backed toward the door she indicated, not taking his eyes off her. She turned and he followed her with his gaze. Her ass fit so fine in her worn jeans. Her shirt hung untucked, the tail covering too much of her backside, but fluttering in a way that teased him about what lay beneath.
His back hit the wall and she spun around. “You missed the entrance.” She pointed at the doorway and lifted an eyebrow.
“Yeah, yeah.” Finally he turned and entered. He shut the door and gasped for breath. It wasn’t as though he could jack off in the bathroom really quick while she changed. He was stuck with this hard-on for the night. And where did she propose he would sleep?
Oh, what did it matter? He wasn’t going to sleep anyway.
He took his time, washing his face with her soap, brushing his teeth with his finger because it seemed wrong to use her toothbrush just yet and he didn’t see another. After using the toilet, he returned, hoping he’d given her enough time to change while simultaneously hoping he hadn’t.
She smiled and they danced around each other as she entered the little bathroom and shut the door herself.
Evan stepped around her room, taking in her possessions. Most of her wall space was covered with paintings he recognized as her own. He knew which ones were pre-Damon and which ones were post. Her style had changed. It was darker now. Less innocent. And he silently cussed that motherfucker for the thousandth time.
The door opened behind him and he whipped around to find her padding across the floor.
What did she want him to do?
Her bed was full-sized. He could fit next to her, but barely. He wasn’t a small man. Besides, the proximity would kill him. It was a bad idea. He twisted around, found a chair at her desk and whipped it to face the bed.
Ashley climbed under the covers and pulled them to her chin. “Don’t,” she whispered.
“What?” he asked as he sat facing her.
“Please. Lie with me. I know it’s the most ridiculous request I’ve ever made, but I want you beside me.” She patted the bed next to her and scooted her ass over until she nearly fell off the side onto the floor.
He stared at the arrangement for a moment and contemplated her request.
He couldn’t do it and he found himself shaking his head.
“Please.” Her eyes were huge when he glanced at her.
He wrung his hands together and pondered his fate. No man alive, wolf shifter or otherwise, could be expected to do what she was requesting. It was unheard of.
And yet Evan gingerly climbed onto the bed and lay alongside her as though it weren’t the hardest thing he’d ever do in this life.
Hell, it probably wasn’t. She’d be a bowl full of challenges before he claimed her.
And he knew he would. It was only a matter of time.
Ashley turned to her side, facing him. He didn’t have to look to feel her gaze on his profile. He stared at the ceiling and willed his dick to settle down. Not tonight, fellow.
“This means a lot to me, Evan.” She reached for his arm and squeezed his bicep with her tiny fingers.
He patted her hand against his arm and settled his fingers over hers. “Sleep, baby. I’ll be right here.”
She calmed. Her breathing leveled out in minutes. He knew when she was at rest and he smiled. It might be the death of him, but he’d made his little mate comfortable and taken away some of her pain and worry. It was worth everything.
Chapter Thirteen
Ashley opened her eyes to find Evan lying on his side staring at her, his face inches from her own. A smile spread across his face and he reached to stroke a finger down her cheek.
“You’re still here.”
“Of course. You asked me to stay.” He pulled back from her face and settled his hand along his side.
“I’ve never slept that well in my life. What time is it?” The room was filled with sunlight. It couldn’t be very early.
“Almost eight. I’m so glad you slept well.”
“Eight? As in nine hours of uninterrupted sleep?” She sat up and glanced around the room.
“Yep. And you barely moved.” He reached for her hand and gently entwined their fingers.
“Did you sleep as well as me?”
“Not a chance. But I did get to study your profile for hours. You have the cutest little freckle right beneath your left eye.” He grinned. “I have your face memorized. I will not lose you anywhere.”
“That’s…comforting,” she said while shaking her head. “And wrong on so many levels.”
He lay back then, releasing her hand, and stretched his arms over his head.
She hated the loss of contact. And she knew she was going to try this man’s patience when it came to the speed of this mating. Or lack thereof.
She watched as his chest stretched out. His T-shirt rose with his arms, exposing his abs—the finest abs on any man ever. Thank God his gorgeous fit body didn’t resemble Damon’s scrawny ass. She would never mistake this man for her ex.
It was funny how she thought of him as her ex considering they’d never been officially married by human standards. A lot of shifters did marry in the human way in order to blend in with the world. Damon had never asked that of her.
Her gaze traveled down to the low jeans that rested at Evan’s hips. The denim hugged him perfectly as though he’d worn the pair forever. She swallowed around the lump in her throat when she found herself staring at his package and jerked her gaze up toward his face. His perfectly chiseled jawline showed the faint sprinkling of hair from lack of shaving. He had closed his eyes and she stared at his lids, watching the way they danced around as his eyes moved beneath them. His mouth was shut, but in a loose peaceful expression. She had the urge to run her finger over his lips and memorize their texture.
And then she switched to craving the feel of those lips against her own again. He wouldn’t have to compare to Damon in that department. She couldn’t remember one instance when he’d touched her face, except with the back of his hand.
She leaned forward, learning his face while he rested his eyes. His breath mingled with her own, the faint mint from last night’s toothpaste doing very little to cover his scent. A scent she would know always and forever. Even in a crowded stadium she would be able to identify him and hunt him down.
He licked his lips then and she moaned, startling herself and then flinching at her indiscretion. When she let her gaze flick to his eyes, she found him staring at her. How long had she ogled his lips?
He didn’t move or give any hint to what he was thinking and somehow that gave her the strength to blurt out her next sentence. “Would you mind kissing me again?”
He stared at her and narrowed his gaze the tiniest bit, still as a statue. Nothing in his expression gave away his emotions.
Too many seconds went by and she felt a flush rise up her face. She jerked back and sat facing
away from him, lowering her head toward her lap and wringing her fingers in front of her. So stupid. “I’m sorry. That was a dumb idea.”
Evan slowly sat next to her. With calculated moves that gave her no reason to freak out, he grasped her shoulders and lay her back onto the mattress. He hovered over her, his brow furrowed more than a moment ago. Was he mad?
“Baby, you can have anything your heart desires at any time. You just shocked me, and it took me a second to pull my wits together. I want to be sure you make choices with your head and your heart every step of the way. I would kick myself if I thought I hurt you because you let the mating instinct overrule your good sense and sped toward the claiming at a pace you aren’t ready to handle in your mind or in your heart.”
He set a hand so lightly on her chest between her breasts. The blankets had fallen down to her waist and the only thing covering her was the T-shirt half of her pajamas. The warmth from his palm calmed her. Every time he touched her she calmed. The effect was the exact opposite of what she would have expected.
In her experience with human or shifter contact over the last several months since her rescue, she could barely tolerate the slightest grazing of skin—even from her own family.
But Evan… Evan could do no wrong. Instead of sending her heart into a racing dither, he slowed the pace with a touch.
She relaxed into the bed, calm, her thoughts not racing at all. She focused on only one thing—his lips.
“Ask me again.”
She lifted her heavy eyes from his mouth, confused for a moment. And then it dawned on her. “Kiss me, Evan.”
Without taking his gaze off hers, he lowered his entire frame over her until his lips grazed hers in the slightest of kisses. Slow, steady, he consumed her with barely noticeable contact.
A millimeter at a time he let himself lower until all she knew was his perfect mouth in a sweet kiss that rivaled the one from last night. He nibbled her lips, not releasing her gaze.
And suddenly her calm became a storm. The perfect storm. Her comfortable relaxed body came alive and she wanted more. She wanted to know everything about this man who’d stolen her soul. She grabbed his biceps with both hands and pulled him closer. He resisted, but she managed to deepen the kiss. She let her eyes close against his piercing stare and tipped her head to one side so she could get a better angle on his mouth.
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