by Thérèse
“How do I look?” she mumbled.
“Absolutely beautiful,” Joss told her, kissing her forehead gently and taking her hand.
This is the kind of love that’s worth hanging out for,” India thought, quietly slipping out and leaving them together.
“She’s going to sleep now,” Joss said, catching up with India along the corridor a little while later. “Let’s find the car.”
Joss looked thoughtful as he steered the Jeep out of the parking lot, and they started to crawl up the Wilshire Corridor in thick lunch-hour traffic.
“I’ll take Annie off for a vacation just as soon as she’s fit enough to travel. I’m thinking Hawaii,” he said. “She’s finally realized she needs to slow down. We both know that’ll last all of five minutes, but let’s enjoy it while it does.”
“You look like you could seriously do with a vacation yourself.” India smiled.
“Yes. Well, I think we should avoid the Hamptons right now – too many familiar faces, and Annie needs rest. It can get pretty social out there. I was thinking that we’ll be away longer than we planned. So maybe you could stay on … take some of that sabbatical you’re always dreaming about.”
India beamed at him. “If you’re happy having me around for a while I would absolutely love to.”
“Great,” Joss said, changing lanes and edging through the bottleneck at the freeway. “That’s sorted. By the way,” he added, “I haven’t forgotten you girls have a birthday coming up, either. How cool you’ll get to spend it together. We have to do something really special.”
“Not too special. We’re only owning up to thirty-six, remember.”
“I’ll make sure it’s special,” he said, honking his horn as he turned into his driveway. “Don’t mess with me today, pal,” he muttered as a guy with a camera leapt backward. “Don’t even think about it.”
India raced across to her room to call Sarah, who picked up immediately.
“She’s going to be okay,” she told her breathlessly.
“Phew. I’ve been thinking about you all day. I’m so glad.”
India hesitated a moment, knowing how much Sarah was missing their Indian takeouts and trips to the pub.
“Joss asked if I’d like to stay on. I mean … he meant maybe for a few months.”
“Well, I’m sure you’re not in any rush to get back here for a whole range of reasons,” Sarah chirped.
“Yes. You’d be right, a whole range of reasons…”
“I was wondering about that the other day. There’s a new auxiliary looking for accommodation here. She’s lovely, works long hours but needs more than my sofa to crash on. If you like, I’ll let her have your place on a short term lease; that way you won’t have to worry about the rent.”
“You’re a gem.I’m going to call Dr. White in the morning and see if he’ll give me a semester’s leave. I don’t suppose there’ll be a problem. They can get a substitute teacher with this kind of notice.”
“Yes, he’ll be heartbroken.”
“Ha!” India laughed.
“By the way, it’s now official.”
“What is?”
“There are no eligible men left in London,” Sarah sighed. “I signed up with that new dating agency. The guy I met this week was completely delusional. How can you be ten years off on your age and six inches off on your height?”
“You crack me up. How tall was he?”
“Think Tom Thumb … or, in LA speak, Tom Cruise. Pocket-size.”
C’est La Vie Note – My fifteen minutes.
It was the third morning of visiting St. John’s, and India knew the drill.
“Grande nonfat iced mocha, please,” she yelled. “And a tall low-fat iced soy latte. Oh, and a blueberry muffin.”
The girl took a pen to the side of the paper cup. “Name?”
“India.”
“You’re India Butler, aren’t you?”
India turned. The voice belonged to a woman in an unflattering pantsuit. Do I know you? India thought. Generally I make a point of not knowing people who wear Day-Glo colors unless they happen to be firemen. “Yes. That’s me,” she said, smiling and handing a twenty-dollar bill across. She grabbed her change and moved to the side counter, where she sensed the woman still looking at her. Meandering her way out of Starbucks through the hospital bookstore, India’s eyes were fixed on the headlines on a magazine rack. “Everything’s Coming up Roses for Annabelle and India.”
Juggling her cardboard tray, she picked up a couple of copies of People, joined another interminable line to pay, then raced to the elevator to get a proper look.
“Double page spread!” She grinned, handing Joss the tray and opening the magazine carefully on top of Annabelle’s bedcovers. “One for the family album, I’d say.”
“Wonderful,” Annabelle said with a smile, lying back against the starched pillow and closing her eyes.
“You’re tired today, Annie,” India whispered. “I’m going to leave you and Joss to have some time together. I’ll take a taxi home and see you in the morning. I love you.”
Squashed uncomfortably in the back of a worn yellow cab that reeked of stale cigar smoke, India opened her own copy of the magazine.
Do I actually look like that? How much have they airbrushed? she wondered. She really did look a lot like the girl in the picture and that girl was so … well, dare she think it... beautiful?
Over the next few days, several other complete strangers came up to India and introduced themselves. Even at Starbucks, her mocha was ready within seconds and delivered with a knowing smile. So this is what it’s like to be famous? she wondered. Maybe it’s time for a change of image.
When her phone rang, India was in Annabelle’s closet appraising herself in torn jeans, London Sole flats, a wraparound cashmere shawl, and aviator sunglasses. She tossed aside a baseball cap. I draw the line at that, she thought. American women must have different shaped heads or something.
“So how’s it going?” Sarah asked. “It’s pissing with rain here. How’s Annie?”
“She’s doing great and really cheerful. All the tests came back clear.”
“Wonderful. You must be so relieved. By the way, I loved the pictures and the article, but I thought you hated sushi. And when did you two ever go bareback riding together?”
“I do and we didn’t.” India laughed.
“So what now?”
“Annie’s going to Tranquility – it’s a medical spa. She’ll be there till Sunday … and I’m going to Malibu to spend the night with the beautiful Mr. Brooks.”
“Well, you’ve earned it. And I’m going to Tesco to fill my empty fridge and sleep all day Sunday,” Sarah said, laughing. “Enjoy.
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
Adam was standing at the entrance to his duplex when India climbed out of the car. She was wearing Annabelle’s black Balenciaga dress and a pair of Chanel ballet flats.
“Perfect timing. You look beautiful,” he said, lifting Annabelle’s Louis Vuitton overnight bag from the backseat of the car.
“We’re having seafood linguini with clams and, before you get too impressed, I had it delivered from Capo.” He grinned, leading the way to the sitting room. India followed, resisting the urge to grab his butt as he took the stairs two at a time with his shirttail hanging out of his Levi’s.
“Well, I assume you didn’t have a decorator do this,” she said, clapping her hands with delight at the magical atmosphere; the scattered candles across the mantelpiece, the table set out for two in front of a crackling log fire, and the gentle strain of a Chopin Étude in the background.
“I can’t take all the credit. Angel is pretty talented.”
I bet she is, India thought. Don’t let that spoil the moment. Don’t.
“And you are just in time for the sunset. It’s going to be spectacular tonight. Step outside and watch while I open the wine.”
“You’re right,” India gasped, a few minutes later, taking the glass from his
hand. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more gorgeous sunset. There’s nothing between here and the ends of the Earth.”
They stood together on the deck as the ocean turned first red and then became an expanse of shimmering silver light.
“You’re shivering,” Adam said, putting his arm around her. “Let’s go inside. Hungry?”
“Always.” There’s that electric shock, she thought, as he guided her toward the fire.
“Great. Dinner will be served momentarily.” He bowed.
On Monday morning, India woke up alone back at Annabelle’s. She curled into a tight ball and hugged the pillow. I’m in love with a man who can have any woman he wants, she thought. I’m in Tinseltown, and I’m terrified.
She closed her eyes again, reliving the weekend; lying in Adam’s arms listening to the sound of the ocean, the yap of the seagulls, walking miles of beach before going back to the duplex and making love again in the haze of the afternoon, snuggling up in front of the fire, eating Chinese noodles, drinking wine. She could still taste him. All her senses were alive.
How could she possibly ever go back to Queens Park? But in the real world, the proper grown-up world, there would come a moment when … when what? She could not live on this fluffy white cloud indefinitely. She felt out of control, giddy. Get a grip, she told herself. Enjoy it for what it is … a summer romance.
The trill of her cell phone snapped India out of her reverie.
“Hey, you…” Adam said softly. “I’m lying here in bed and I miss you.”
“Me too,” she murmured. “I had such a wonderful time.”
“Yes. I was thinking, I meant to tell you. I’m going out of town for a week or so.”
India snapped wide awake. Where are you going? Who are you going with? Why didn’t you say? Stay cool, sound casual, she thought. “Where?” she managed.
“Max is coming out of rehab tomorrow. We’re going up to Joshua Tree.”
“What’s that? You’re going to see a tree?”
“It’s the desert. We’re going hiking on the mountain trails, taking some time out. He can’t just come back here to all his shit yet. He has to get his head together. It’s like nowhere else … the night sky is awesome.”
“Sounds wonderful. I’ve never been to the desert… Joss and Annie leave for Hawaii in a couple of days,” India said quickly. “I plan on…” What? What do I plan on? “I’m planning on doing some writing … some workshopping course work.”
“Sounds good. Okay, well, I have to get moving. I have a six-hour drive. I’ll call when we’re back.”
“Yes. I hope Max is in good shape. Give him my best.”
“Will do … and India, I think you’re very special and I had a great time.”
“Me too,” she said, clicking off quickly.
That’s it, she thought, getting up and heading for the shower. He’s going off to the desert with Angel. I shouldn’t have stayed the weekend. I must have come on too strong. I was too available. I’ll never see him again … no, it’s okay … he definitely said I was special and he said he’d call … he did. I’m sure he did. Yes … he said very as in very special.
God, this house feels horribly empty, India thought, cautiously sidestepping Clooney, who was padding up and down by the French windows making a weird whining noise. “Don’t come anywhere near me.” She was afraid that maybe the dog hadn’t had his tranquilizers. “Maria!” she shouted. “Maria…”
Maria appeared at the door. “Bueno. Bueno. Perrito…” she cajoled, rubbing noses with the panting animal.
India shuddered at the idea of all that saliva on Maria’s face. I am not in a good mood, she decided. What AM I going to do for all these weeks with everybody away?
By lunchtime, India had half convinced herself that Adam was into Scientology, was bisexual, or both. Why hadn’t he mentioned his plans when they were together? After al, he was a movie star and this was LA. “Maybe Angel’s going to marry Adam and Max in the desert,” she said aloud. “Is gay marriage legal in California? I have to get out of the house. I’m talking to myself… Where did Annie say she left her car keys?”
India drove the mile or so into Bel Air canyon extremely cautiously. Wide open spaces. Just what I need right now, she thought, pressing off the sound system. Stopping on a track off to the side of the road, she took in the splendid panoramic view. A stampede of Apaches could come over that hill any minute… It’s really still the Wild West.
Getting out of the car, she began walking up the gravelly hiking path, pausing every now and then to let the occasional jog-ger pound past her. “Focus,” she told herself out loud, gathering momentum and striding faster. “Focus… What is it you REALLY want? Think.”
“God ! I’m out of condition!” She gasped, grabbing hold of a boulder as another runner thundered past. What was it Pete had said in the training session, just before the firewalk? What was it he was trying to make them do? He talked a lot about fear. What was she afraid of?
Did she stay in her job because she was afraid of change? Was she afraid that she would never measure up to Annie? Afraid that she would not be enough for someone like Adam? Was that why she picked guys who were safe, even when they were boring as hell? Right now in LA, everyone was telling her how beautiful she was, how valued, how special. But she felt as if she were walking on glass. She knew that there was no going back. Everything had already changed. Falling in love with Adam (and she had to admit it, she had) experiencing that sick sense of what losing Annie would mean… All of it had jolted her. She would have to fight through her fears, stop talking about making changes and actually do it. But what? And when was she going to tell Adam that she had lied about running workshops in London?
India’s head was beginning to ache as she struggled for answers. Come on. Visualize! Focus! You’re a leader not a follower, a believer not a doubter, remember?
A few minutes after she started the drive back, she screeched to a halt and pulled over to the side of the dirt track. Looking beyond the roofs of the houses to the outline of the hills in front of her, she suddenly felt a rush of excitement. Yes, I can do this, she thought. I know exactly what kind of courses I should offer. There would be no turning back. She was certain. Grabbing her phone, she pressed speed-dial.
Lizzie picked up right away.
“Hi, Lizzie, how’re you?”
“Good, thanks. How’re you?”
India paused. She was getting the hang of this convention now.
“Lizzie, I’ve an idea I’d like to run past you as soon as possible … if I may…”
“Of course,” Lizzie said. “I’m just done with my hike. I’m on San Vicente. How ’bout we meet at the Coffee Bean in say, half an hour?”
“Perfect.”
“I’ll be there in about ten minutes, India, and I’ll grab us a table.”
≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
“Great to see you, India. How is Annie? How’re the kids?” Lizzie asked, air-kissing her then sweeping a pile of LA Times off the table.
“All good, Lizzie,” India said, squeezing into the tiny space. “Sorry I’m a bit late – I couldn’t find a meter.”
“It’s okay, I was catching up with the news. So Annie’s going to be just fine? That was one hell of a scare,” Lizzie said, adjusting her wide-brimmed Nike baseball cap. “It must have been tough on you all. But she’s okay… Thankfully, she’s okay.”
“Yes. I’m still reeling. She has such amazing stamina though, always did. Joss’ friend flew them to Waikiki in his V5. I thought it was all a bit soon, but apparently there’s a great hospital on the island and she can have all her follow-up appointments there. This way she’ll get complete rest and privacy.”
“Joss is wonderful. She’ll be absolutely fine,” Lizzie said. “I loved the piece, by the way, it really captured how close you two are.” She paused. “So now, go on. How can I help?”
“Well, before that, tell me how you are… I mean really.”
“I’m h
anging in there.” Lizzie took off her Gucci aviator sunglasses. “Taking my time, getting legal advice. I need to understand my options.”
India winced and put down her cup. “Sorry. That’s hot.” She slurped. “I’ll never get the hang of cappuccinos. How do you know where the frothy bit stops?”
Lizzie laughed. “I think that’s where this comes in handy,” She handed her a white plastic spoon and a paper napkin.
“Thanks. Well… I’m pleased you’re okay… Sorry. So I wanted to talk to you about a couple of things. I’m staying on for a while to be with Annie,” she said, wiping off her foam mustache.
“That’s great. I’ve often thought it’s a pity you two live so far from each other. I know she misses you.”
“Lizzie,I hope you don’t mind my bringing this up, but I keep thinking about the night at the hospital.” She paused long enough to see that Lizzie was up for the conversation and lowered her voice. “I keep seeing Sophie, unconscious on that gurney, and Joan in shock. I keep imagining what you must have gone through when you found her. She could have been brain damaged for the rest of her life. What if you had been too late?”
Lizzie was listening intently. “Go on.”
“Well, everything here seems so perfect from the outside, then when you get up a tiny bit closer it’s all… Well, it’s sort of a mess. I need to understand more, Lizzie. I just assumed these kids were different, that they had it made. Now, of course, I can see they still have their own shit to deal with. But I want to know where they’re coming from. I’ve worked for years with teenagers who have nothing. They don’t have cell phones unless they’ve stolen them, they don’t drive, they’re angry, and they hate being in school. But I love working with them. I get a real kick out of seeing them do something they didn’t know they could do.” She blew on her coffee. “I used to think I stayed on the job because I was stuck; because I was afraid of change. Now I know it’s because I know it’s worthwhile. I relate to the kids. They’re so vulnerable underneath all the bravado.”