by Kahlen Aymes
“Yeah, I know who he is. He works with Jarvis Webber. They do a great job.”
“Yes. Anyway, he said that kids always want presents when parents come home from trips.”
“He’s right. So do big brothers. Especially when they’re signed balls.”
“You have enough balls,” I teased, tongue-in-cheek.
Ben shook his head, a wide grin splitting his handsome face. “Wrong, sis. A real man can never have enough balls.”
***
Dylan had a bath and I got him ready for bed while he chattered on about his time with Ben. Dressed in his favorite Spiderman pajamas, and his formerly unruly hair freshly washed and combed into place, Dylan waited impatiently. I sat on the edge of his bed and pulled him onto my lap. My luggage, in my room next door, waited to be unpacked, but while Dylan had been brushing his teeth, I’d gathered the shirt and football out of the biggest one and wrapped them in a towel. The makeshift package waited on the bed next to us.
“Can I have my present now, Mom?”
He’d stopped calling me “Mommy” when he started school, and I felt very sad that he was growing up so fast, however, being around other boys and Ben had been good for him.
“Oh, okay,” I said, smiling and pulled the towel-covered mound onto his lap. “Sorry, I didn’t have time to wrap it.”
“It’s okay!” He pushed aside the towel to reveal the blue, white, and orange football jersey and signed ball. “Wow! Thanks! “Where’d ya get it?” Dylan could barely contain his excitement.
“A nice man named Jensen got them for me to give to you. Wasn’t that nice?”
“Yeah, it sure was! I can’t wait to show Uncle Ben and my friends! We can play like a real team!” His little face lit up, and his cheeks were still rosy from his bath.
My arms tightened around him, and I kissed his temple. “You might not want to play with that ball. Look.” I carefully turned it over to show him the signature near the laces. “Jared Goff, the Rams quarterback, signed it for you. It’s a collector’s item.”
“Oh, man!” he exclaimed. “Jared Goff! This is awesome, Mom!” He turned in my lap, still holding his ball. I didn’t even know he knew who the quarterback was. “Can I collect a bunch of them?”
I laughed out loud. Leave it to Dylan’s mind to race ten steps ahead. I touched the tip of his nose with my index finger. “We’ll see. It depends if I get this job. You know it will mean moving away from Uncle Ben, right?”
He sobered for a minute, and I quickly went on to the positives.
“But, we’ll be closer to Grandma, and we can visit Uncle Ben and your friends, and you’ll make new friends, sweetheart.”
His eyes filled with tears and he looked down at his lap. “I don’t want to leave Uncle Ben. Who will play with me?”
Two fat drops tumbled down his cheeks, and I wiped them away lovingly. “Hey, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Mommy doesn’t have the job yet.”
“But you will,” he cried, harder now. My heart broke for him. I wanted to provide a better life for him, but I never considered what moving away from Jackson Hole would mean for my son. After Derrick, he’d come to depend on Ben’s kindness, unconditional love, and when needed, discipline.
“Well, if I do, you can still keep in touch with Uncle Ben and your friends. Maybe we can have them visit next summer, or you can come back here for a few weeks if we can arrange it. Uncle Ben will Skype with you all the time, and it will almost feel like he’s with you.”
“It’s not the same.”
“Well, let’s cross that bridge when we get to it. If we do move, let’s think of it as a new adventure!” I’d told him we were going on a big adventure as an explanation when we moved to Wyoming, too. “It’s a lot warmer in Atlanta and much closer to Disney World. With a new job, I’ll be able to take you there for vacation. Maybe Uncle Ben and Grandma can come, too.”
He sniffed and wiped his nose on the back of his hand, all the while holding tight to his new football. “Okay,” he agreed tearfully.
“And, if I work at ESPN, you have a much better chance of adding to your new ball collection because I’ll be meeting many more players and teams.” I touched the ball. “We don’t have to decide any of this tonight. Now, into bed with you; you have school in the morning.”
The room was furnished with an old bedroom set that Ben and I found at a flea market not long after I’d moved up here. We had to leave all of our belongings behind when we ran away from Derrick. It was old, but Ben and I had sanded and stained it to look like new.
Dylan slid off of my lap and walked over to his toy box and, as if it was made of glass, gently set the football on the top. I folded the shirt and moved across the small room to put it in the middle drawer of the dresser with the rest of his shirts. “Would you like to wear this to school tomorrow?”
“Sure.” He nodded and his thick blond hair, now dry, moved with the motion.
“Up you go,” I lifted him into bed and pulled the covers up, tucking them in around him. I leaned in to kiss his head, my hand cupping his cheek. “It’s going to be alright. You’ll see. Goodnight, honey.”
I turned off the bedside lamp but left the light on in the hall and left his door cracked before going into to unpack my suitcase. I needed a bath, but I was exhausted. I turned on the lamp and sat down on the bed at the same time as a text came in on my phone. My heart flipped inside my chest. Somehow, I knew it was Jensen.
How’d Dylan like the football?
I smiled when I read it, and then didn’t hesitate to type out a response.
Loved it, of course! Thanks, again.
I tried to begin pulling items from my roller bag, separating the dirty clothes from the few clean ones, but kept glancing at the screen, waiting for Jensen’s response. I literally jumped at the next bling from my phone.
You’re welcome. Have you heard from Bryan Walsh?
The corners of my mouth lifted at the start of a soft smile as I typed.
Not yet. Is he going to call?
If I told you that, you’d know you got the job. ;-) If you want it.
A small laugh burst out as happiness filled me.
I do!!!
Good. Start packing.
I sucked in a deep breath of relief. Somehow, I’d ended up sitting back down on the bed as I wrote the next words.
Will you be my boss?
Fear gripped me as I waited for his next text. It didn’t take long.
Well… about that…
Oh, my God. What did that mean? Didn’t he want me on his crew? Was I going to work with that God-awful Lonnie person?
What about it?
Can I call you?
By now, my heart was pounding a hundred beats a minute. This didn’t feel like a business conversation, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for it to be personal.
Yes. Just give me a few minutes to unpack.
NP. I’ll hop in the shower and call you after. Will that give you enough time?
I closed my eyes. Just what I needed: to imagine Jensen Jeffers naked in the shower with water running down all that perfect flesh. The way his muscles flexed under his shirt on the plane was enough to cause a physical response in my body. I’d been watching him all weekend, and everything about him was attractive. He wasn’t even near me, but after the dream, I had the night before, I was already flushing with heat. I pressed the back of my hand against one of my cheeks, and it was warm to the touch. I was in deep trouble.
Sure.
I sat there, excitement flowing through me; wondering if it was this man or just the fact that I hadn’t had sex in years that made me go all gooey on the inside. I avoided sexy movies or books for what seemed like forever; I couldn’t stand thinking about Derrick like that. But now, my face felt flushed with heat, and my body was opening at just the thought of him. I licked my lips. If this was how I was reacting to just a couple of texts, maybe not working with him was a good thing. I’d be hard-pressed not to picture Jensen all tan and
bare-chested; wearing only a towel slung low on his hips when he called.
“Get a grip, Missy,” I chastised myself aloud. “You’re fine. You’ll be fine.” I got up and emptied the rest of my suitcase on the bed, folded the clean clothes and put the rest of the dirty ones in the hamper in the corner. “He just wants to talk to discuss work details.”
But no matter what I told myself, I knew it wasn’t true. I wouldn’t be fine. Maybe I’d be better than fine. When the phone rang, I wasn’t ready for it.
“Hello?”
“Hey,” his smooth voice came over the phone, showing no hint of the nervousness I was experiencing. Even though we’d only spent the weekend together, his voice was familiar and soothing. “Whatcha’ doin?”
“Um… I’m just putting my suitcase away.”
“Don’t put it too far away. You’ll need it soon,” he said. “Don’t tell Bryan I spilled the beans.”
I laughed softly. “Okay. So, you spoke with him, then?”
“Yes, and I gave a glowing report, but I wanted to talk to you before you get back into Atlanta.”
I sank to the floor in the low light of the room. “I see. No screen test, then?”
“Nope.”
“Will I be on your team?” I’d already asked on text, and felt sure he was about to tell me, but I couldn’t help probing.
“Yes, you’ll be on that team, but I won’t produce for it regularly.”
“Oh,” I said, unable to hide my disappointment. “I guess I did know that the production job I applied for didn’t travel much.”
“Yes. Beyond that,” Jensen stopped. “Look, I’ve never been good at beating around the bush, Missy.”
“Then, don’t.” I pulled my knees up until I could wrap an arm around them. “You sound like you have misgivings about having me at ESPN.”
“No, but I sense… Jesus, this is tough.” His frustration permeated his tone.
“Sense… what?” I asked.
“A certain hesitance to immerse yourself in the team.”
My back stiffened as my defenses came up like the clash of two steel swords in front of me. “You mean because I won’t cozy up to the men?” I couldn’t help my harder tone. After years of play-acting with Derrick, I pretty much let my feelings rip now. “I didn’t think it was a job requirement.”
“Whoa. It isn’t. I’m asking, not for the team, but for me. I wanted to get to know you, but I don’t want you to take it the wrong way. I want you to know there are zero strings attached, and I thought it might be easier to talk candidly if we weren’t face-to-face.”
“I see.” I was hoping he was feeling the same attraction between us that I was, but instead, it appeared he wanted to give me a lecture on my attitude.
“I’m not sure you do, but I’m not going to lie. I find you extremely attractive myself, but from what I saw, you don’t want… Oh, fuck!” Jensen exclaimed in frustration. “I won’t do anything about how I feel if you aren’t open to it. I’d really like to see you outside of work, and maybe introduce the kids. Dylan won’t have any friends, and so I wondered how you’d feel about it?”
My heart suddenly resumed its thunderous hammering, and I felt ashamed that I’d doubted his intent. I’d completely jumped to the wrong conclusion. I sucked in a deep breath. “Well, you’re right, my experience with my ex-husband may have made me a little sensitive, and I’m extremely cautious about who I introduce to Dylan. I’m sorry if I came off as a bitch.”
“No. I mean, you weren’t a bitch, but I sensed you had a red line, and that you didn’t want it crossed. I figured it was because of him when you told me he was abusive.”
“Yes, he was.”
His voice was low, sexy, and intense, though I doubted he was even aware. “If you don’t want to tell me about it, yet, I understand, but we’ve all got a backstory that makes us who we are. I hoped that maybe if I told you more about the situation surrounding my divorce, you’d feel more at ease sharing yours. That’s if you want to hear about it.”
I leaned back against the bed. “I would. I mean, I’d love to.”
“Well, remember when you saw the picture in my office, then asked about Chase Forrester? I told you it was a long story?”
“Yes?”
Jensen cleared his throat. His voice was so close; as if he was sitting right next to me. “Well, we’ve been best friends for a long time. We both went to college at Clemson, and we both played on the soccer team. He was the star forward, and I was one of the goalies.”
“Really? Were you any good?”
“Yeah. Not as good as Chase, clearly.”
I laughed softly. “Obviously,” I teased, trying to relax. This was good. Finding out about this man was right.
“We both met Teagan the same night; at a college party. The three of us were solid after that. Teagan called us ‘The Three Musketeers’, but Chase and Teagan fell in love.”
“But I thought—”
“Yeah, that’s the long story part of this whole thing. Chase got an offer from Arsenal in the middle of our senior year, and he left to go to London.”
“How’d you end up married to her, then?”
“I’m getting to that, but Chase is Remi’s real father.”
Wow. What? “He is?”
“Yes. Teagan found out she was pregnant right after he left, and she had some dumbass idea that she’d ruin his chances for a professional soccer career if she told him about the baby.”
“So, you married her? Like a knight in shining armor?”
“I’m not sure how shiny it was.”
“Wasn’t he coming back?” I asked incredulously. “Later, I mean?”
“Yes, but Teagan’s father is an asshole politician, and he was more concerned about his career than he was his daughter’s happiness. He never approved of Chase, and he knew what buttons to push to get Teagan to walk away from him. He knew she’d put Chase first, so he threatened to ruin his career before it even got started. The sun rose and set in Chase for Teagan, and professional soccer had been his dream since he was a kid. I tried to convince her to tell him, but she wouldn’t. She knew if she told him the truth, he’d give up Arsenal.”
“Why didn’t you tell him? If you were his best friend?”
He sighed heavily. “You make it sound so simple. Chase’s family lived in the area, and his dad and brother have a business that could have been impacted. Teagan didn’t want a scandal.”
“Scandal? A lot of people have babies without being married.”
“This is the South, and her father is a U.S. Senator. Even so, I wasn’t thinking straight. I cared about Teagan, and I was pissed at Chase; for leaving her to play fucking soccer. Soccer was all he wanted to do, but I thought she should have meant more; he should have waited for another opportunity after graduation so he could have taken Teagan with him.”
My heart hurt for Teagan even though I’d never met her. “I agree, but you were all young. We all make stupid choices when we’re young.” Look at me? I thought. I married the wrong person without taking the time to know him.
“I guess,” Jensen answered. “She cried and cried that she had to protect him, whatever the cost to herself. She wouldn’t listen to me, so I went to her dad and told him the baby was mine and I’d do what was right by her. I thought I was saving Teagan’s reputation and, at the same time, doing what I had to do to secure Chase’s career.”
“Wow,” I murmured softly, stunned by the story I was hearing. “What did that do to your friendship?”
“It completely destroyed it. We couldn’t tell him, or we would have had the result that Teagan didn’t want; he’d quit Arsenal and hightail it back to the States. Later, I wanted to tell him, but he wouldn’t listen to me, or even Teagan, when we tried to explain. I guess I didn’t do such a good job of trying. But…” he paused to shrug. “I was wrong to marry Teagan behind his back.”
Selfishly, I wanted to ask if he ever really loved Teagan, but his actions told me all I needed
to know.
“So, he was gone when Remi was born, and you’ve been her father ever since,” I stated.
“Yes, and I love her like she was mine.”
The love in his tone and the catch in his voice brought a tear to my eye. I dabbed at the corner of my eye with my pinkie finger. “She is yours, Jensen. You raised her.”
“Yeah. She’s went through a lot. Teagan and I were going to get a divorce when Remi was barely three, but then the poor little shit was diagnosed with leukemia. We decided to stay married to keep the insurance current during treatment. We wanted to keep her life as normal as possible. Teagan quit nursing to be with Remi twenty-four/seven, and I worked my way up the ladder at ESPN, seeing Remi whenever I could. I missed her, and I was terrified she’d die while I was gone on assignment, but we needed the insurance and the money.”
My breath caught as another tear fell. “Oh, my God. That must have been horrible. You’re a good man, Jensen.”
“I don’t know how good I was. Over the next three years, Remi went through treatment twice and went into remission, but then the leukemia returned, again. Each time a patient falls out of remission, it gets harder to fight the disease. It was horrible to watch. She called the chemo ‘mean medicine,’ and we couldn’t put her through it again. Her only hope was a bone marrow transplant, and Teagan wasn’t a complete match. Even her bastard father tested, and he failed as well. We were running out of time waiting for a match through the donor registry.”
“Oh, I see. So… you had to bring Chase back into her life. To see if he could save her?”
“Part of me was selfish. I didn’t want to lose Remi, but Chase deserved to know about her anyway. As you can imagine, he was furious with both of us and hurt that we’d waited so long to tell him.”
“Was he a match, though?”
“Yes, thankfully. She’s completely cancer-free now, and he and Teagan are back together.”
I held my breath waiting to hear the rest of the story. “How did Remi take it?”
“Remarkably well. Teagan told her that she had two dads from the time she could talk. Even showed her pictures, so she loves us both. To his credit, Chase has made changes in his life that kept Remi near me. He even left Arsenal and plays with the U. S. National Team. We’re still friends, and we co-parent really well.”