by Kahlen Aymes
I floated through the first half of the weekend when we managed rare stolen moments alone. As the on-air time grew closer, I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown despite Jensen’s reassurance that I’d be fine. Local news was peanuts compared to national correspondent.
Though the prospect of being on-air was exciting, it was scary at the same time. Knowing I’d have Jensen’s voice in my ear giving me little quips and comments, helped build up my confidence and calmed me down somewhat. I found myself wishing he could be with me on every assignment going forward, even though he assured me that whatever producer was assigned would have my back. Jarvis was very sweet, and I felt confident that he’d be a huge help when Jensen wasn’t around.
Until tonight, we hadn’t been completely alone together since the magnificent night at his house when he made love to me, but yet, didn’t. I felt my cheeks flush and the corners of my mouth lift in a secret smile at the thought. Even without actual sex, it was the closest I’d ever come to having someone make love to me. My mind and heart were overflowing with him.
My heart sank when Jensen walked me to my hotel room earlier in the evening and left me there after kissing me senseless at the door, whispering that he didn’t want the rest of the crew feeding the rumor mill about us so soon.
His logic would have been spot on if it weren’t for the long make-out session in the hall. His dimples deepened when I pointed out in a breathless whisper that any one of the crew could walk by at any moment and he should just come inside. His low groan went straight to my core. It was irresistible that he didn’t want me to think he just wanted sex, but that was the farthest thing from my mind. It was already difficult to hide how we felt about each other, and we were both holding on to our professionalism for dear life.
Now as I lay on my bed alone, staring at the ceiling, I found myself aching for him and wishing I’d asked him to stay.
Who was I kidding?
I sighed and slammed my hand onto the mattress next to me, sucking in a deep breath. For sure it wasn’t Jensen. My desire for him had to be written all over me when we were at dinner with the gang. It felt idiotic to deny it; especially when it felt so right. We’d barely spoken a word to anyone else during dinner, completely wrapped up in each other. It had to be screaming to the rest of the crew.
I felt heat seep into my face as the corners of my lips lifted in a contemplative smile. I sighed heavily and felt my chest rise and fall, trying to decide if I wanted to take a bath or turn on the TV to occupy my racing mind. It would be too late to call Dylan. My fingers ran over the material of the comforter on the hotel bed, and then I sat up, deciding the bath was the more attractive option.
I stood and walked over to my open suitcase and took out the T-shirt and plaid pajama pants I’d brought to wear to bed. I grimaced and then let out a little huff. Not exactly the outfit for the seduction scene worthy of Jensen. I should have planned ahead better, my mind scolded. But, what the hell? I’d let him leave anyway.
Derrick would have called me a whore if I’d voiced any desire of my own, but somehow, I felt that Jensen would welcome it. How different the two of them were. Derrick used his strength to punish; where Jensen was physically strong, his heart was stronger, and he was oh, so gentle. Derrick’s touch made me cringe, but I couldn’t wait to be close to Jensen. I ached to have his hands on my body.
As I padded into the bathroom and flipped on the light, I threw one of the white towels stacked on a shelf above the toilet onto the floor next to the tub with my pajamas, then peeled off my network sweatshirt and pushed my blue denim jeans down my legs and kicked them off. I turned on the water, adjusting the temperature, and adding one of the small bottles of shampoo sitting on the vanity in a lame effort to create a bubble bath. I rolled my eyes, making a mental note to bring my own with me next time.
“Nice try,” I murmured to myself, just as my phone pinged from the bedroom.
My heart started racing as I ran to find it in my purse. Clad only in my bra and bikini panties, I shivered as I lifted my phone out of my purse praying the text was from Jensen. The air was cold, and my skin broke out in goosebumps; my nipples puckering against the chill. I smiled as I read his words on the screen.
WTH am I doing here when you’re there? I won’t be able to sleep.
My face broke out in an excited smile as my fingers quickly tapped out a reply.
Me, too. Are you crazy or something?
Crazy about you.
My heart started thumping inside my chest like a drum as he confirmed for the thousandth time that he was stunningly perfect.
Well…
Yes?
His response came back a split second later. I laughed as pleasure raced through me.
I suppose you could come back. I’m just getting into the bath, so can you give me a few minutes?
I’ll see if I can rustle up some wine. Remember what I said. I just want to be in the same room with you. I don’t expect anything to happen.
My breath hitched.
I know. Don’t worry. I won’t take advantage of you. Promise.
LOL. See you in a bit.
My heart was singing, and my insides began to melt. If I was frustrated, he had to be going out of his mind. Each night, when I closed my eyes to sleep, his handsome face and muscular form haunted my dreams and my waking moments were consumed with thoughts of him.
I wanted him, but I was concerned about the aftermath. If I gave into my heart and gave myself to him, would it change things between us? I drew in a shaky breath and decided that I’d have to take my chances. I trusted Jensen more than I’d ever trusted anyone.
Sounds great. See you, soon.
The next ten minutes flew by as I took a quick bath and reluctantly put on the less-than-sexy pajamas, ran a quick comb through my hair and applied a light coating of moisturizer to my freshly washed face. I stared at the sad reflection I made in the mirror.
“Oh, God.” I groaned. “Could I be any less sexy?”
I was skinny, so the baggy shirt and flannel pants hid what small curves I had. I pulled the shirt tighter around my waist and thought about tying it in a knot, but that would make it seem like I was trying too hard. “Ugh!” I groaned and let the shapeless thing fall back into place. I pulled my hair up in a topknot and then put on just a little mascara. Resigned, I threw my hands up and let them fall to my sides again. “I guess this will have to do.”
If the first ten minutes since Jensen texted flew by while I was getting ready, the next twenty dragged leaving me pacing the room and flipping through the limited channels on the television. Finally, his light rap on the door made me jump up. I almost ran to the door before stopping myself; forcing a deep breath and slower steps.
“Come on, Missy. Get a flipping grip,” I whispered to myself, and then walked the short distance to the door and wrapped my hand around the doorknob before pulling it open.
A smile split my face when I saw him standing there with a bottle of wine and a dozen red roses wrapped in that grocery store cellophane.
“Hey—” I began, but Jensen interrupted me.
“Did you look through the peephole?” he demanded.
Instantly my face sobered, the happiness I’d felt only seconds before dissipating into thin air. “No, but I knew you were coming.” I moved to the side and waved him into the room.
He shook his head and moved past me. “Always be cautious, Melissa.” His words weren’t harsh, but he used my full name and that said volumes. “Always.”
I froze in place as the heavy door swung shut with a bang wondering what to do next.
My brow dropped into a frown. “Look, when you’re my producer tomorrow, you can order me around, but not tonight. Not here in my room.”
Jensen turned, his face softening as he walked over to hand me the flowers. “Look, I don’t mean to be an asshole, but I worry about you.”
I nodded, reaching out for the roses, only to walk past him to lay them on the short dresser that t
he TV sat on. My head dropped as I stood there, fingering the paper wrapping. “Thanks. Did you get these at Kroger?” My voice was soft; I was sure the disappointment I was feeling laced my words.
“No, Baltimore doesn’t have Kroger. I got them at Safeway. I figured some of the crew would still be in the bar and since you said to wait a few minutes…” His words dropped off.
I wasn’t looking at him, but I could feel his presence behind me. He was throwing off heat like the sun; I could feel his breath on the back of my neck and smell his delicious cologne.
After a moment’s hesitation, Jensen’s big palms settled on my shoulders and then ran down the length of my arms, and back up again. He bent his head to run the tip of his nose up the chord of my neck to just below my ear.
“Hey, don’t be mad at me for being protective,” his voice was low and seductive, the movement of his hands on my body, and the feel of his breath turned me to jelly. He was so close I could feel his lips move as they hovered over my skin. “I just— I can’t help it.”
As my previous disappointment faded at his admission, my head fell back to his shoulder, and my body leaned back against his. When his soft mouth opened and trailed slow, sucking kisses down my neck, I sighed in contentment. At my shoulder, his hand tugged on the sleeve of my shirt to pull the neckline aside giving him access to the flesh he was seeking.
“Jensen,” I sighed out breathlessly. My heart filled with him and flames of desire instantly ran like lightning through my body. The long fingers of his right hand laced with mine as his mouth continued his onslaught of my senses and the front of his hard body pressed into my back and the curve of my butt. Clearly, he was as aroused as I was.
“Shhh,” he murmured as his free arm slid around me, pulling me tighter against him. “I said I just wanted to be with you, so we should stop this before it goes too far. Do you wanna watch TV?” His nose brushed up my neck again as he sighed and stilled. He let out a deep breath that washed over my neck and shoulder. His hold loosened and he started to separate our bodies.
I didn’t think it could ever go far enough with this man. My hungry nipples cried out for his touch, and I could feel my body opening. I squeezed the hand holding mine and slid the fingers of the other along his muscular forearm still lightly around my waist, stopping him from moving away from me.
I shook my head. “No. We both knew what would happen if you came to my room tonight. That’s why you left earlier,” I whispered in protest.
He paused, his forehead dropping to the back of my head and eased our bodies closer again. “Missy.” The way he said my name felt like an ache that ran through us both.
My flesh was screaming for his hands to roam over it, yet still, he held me close to him without moving.
“I want you so much, but I want it to be special. It’s not my intention to give you anything less than you deserve, and you deserve everything.”
I felt as though I would spontaneously combust; turning in his arms and sliding mine up over his shoulders and around his neck, my fingers tangled in the soft hair at his nape. “Then,” I stood up on tiptoe, so that I could reach his mouth with mine. “Give me everything. It doesn’t matter where we are, Jensen. Only that we’re together.” I hoped, beyond hope, that my words correctly communicated what I was feeling. There weren’t words enough to tell him how much he meant to me or how much I needed him to touch me, fill my body with his, and make me his forever.
“I don’t want to rush you.” The words were ripped from him, his face turning into the curve of my neck and his forehead pressing just above my ear. “We don’t have to—”
I shook my head, ultra-aware of every breath that rushed over my skin, every place our bodies touched. “I don’t feel rushed. It’s like I’ve known you my entire life.” My words, though softly spoken, were dripping with love and meaning. “It’s never felt more right.”
I could feel his muscles flex as his arms tightened around me and lifted me off the ground and his hungry mouth crushed down on mine in a series of passion-filled kisses. When his hands slid down my body, over my back, and down my butt cheeks and further still; down between my thighs to bring our bodies closer. My legs parted as he lifted me fully into his embrace, my legs wrapped around his waist until his erection was hard and throbbing; pulsing hot against me. Our kisses were on fire, but our bodies needed more. Something—anything to relieve the building pressure.
I was so wrapped up in our kisses, I wasn’t sure how it happened, or how we ended up there, but Jensen was slowly lowering me to the bed, and then following me down, our mouths never separating from the luscious succession of kisses. My hands grabbed at his flesh, pulling him closer and parted my legs wider, anxious to feel his weight pushing me into the mattress, and then the glorious pressure of his hardness thrusting slowly and purposefully against my softness.
“Missy,” Jensen moaned again. “Jesus, God. I feel the same way.”
I gathered him closer, elated by his words, my heart thundering inside my chest. I wasn’t sure if I was euphoric, on fire, in love, or full of sorrow because I hadn’t met this man first. Tears filled my eyes, and my throat tightened painfully at the blessing of him in my life.
“Jensen,” I said his name like an ache, causing him to pull back to look into my face, stopping the delicious trail of kisses down my neck, his big hand stroking the side of my hair over and over. I could see the desire in his smoldering eyes; his skin burned with excitement.
“What? Ask me anything, and I’ll provide it.” His eyes were intense and serious as they stared down at me. “Anything, Missy.”
I knew he spoke the truth. I knew it as sure as the sun would rise in the morning. The intensity in his eyes made my mouth go dry, so I let my tongue snake out and moisten my lips before I answered.
“Make love to me. No one has ever made love to me, before.”
His eyes darkened; his expression became pained as he looked down into my face. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking or what he was going to do, but I was terrified I’d just said the wrong thing. Panic seized my lungs, and I reached up to touch his handsome face as words rushed out to fix it.
“Jensen,” I said softly, but my voice cracked at the prospect I’d just ruined everything. “What’s wrong? Are you angry with me?”
He closed his eyes, and his head fell forward a little as he shook it.
“No,” he ground out as his eyes snapped open to meet mine again. “How could I be mad at you? You’re innocent…” he breathed. Emotion pulsed between us like a heartbeat.
He rolled off of me and onto the bed beside me, his hand coming up to cover his eyes. I could see his jaw tense as he clenched his teeth. “I’m so fucking—!” he stopped abruptly, then, after a short pause, he spat the rest of the sentence. “Pissed! I mean…” Jensen stopped again, and hearing my sharp intake of breath, rolled onto his side toward me, propping his head up with one hand and taking one of mine in the other, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth over the top of my fingers. I knew what he was thinking.
When my hesitant gaze met his; the deep blue orbs were glazed with tears. “Please don’t think of him right now. Not now.”
He was struggling, and when he responded his voice had thickened. “You should be worshiped. You’re so beautiful and gentle.”
I swallowed hard, my hand lifting to stroke his cheek, meeting his eyes. My own eyes were full just before the first tear tumbled free. “So are you.” The words hurt coming out, but I’d never meant anything more in my life. We lay there clutching onto each other; our foreheads pressed together while we both cried.
All I wanted was to love him. My fingers were hungry to touch him, my mouth starving for his. “Kiss me,” I begged brokenly. Whatever this pain was, it was amazing, and I never wanted it to end. “Love me, Jensen.”
His lips met mine gently, almost torturously slow, our lips brushing tentatively as if to reassure each other the kiss was real, but within seconds he was on top of me, and his tongue
has pushed into the deepest recesses of my mouth to lave in a hungry tangle with mine. We explored each other’s bodies with our hands, carefully peeling back layers of clothing, piece by delicious piece. Soon we were lying naked in each other’s arms, heated flesh and heightened senses making our breathing heavy. It was the only sound in the room.
My body was on fire, melting into his. “Love me,” I whispered again, achingly granting him permission to come inside me. He filled me with one smooth, but unhurried, movement allowing me to feel every inch of him as hard flesh met slick heat. The pleasure between us was profound in its magnitude.
“I do. So much.” Jensen said between magnificent kisses and caresses ardent in their purpose. His movements slowed, and body and soul I protested, my hips arched up in rhythm with his, craving the release it so desperately needed; something I’d never experienced during sex. “God,” he said. “I do, Missy… I want you to feel it.”
The back of my eyes began to burn, even as the physical pressure began to build. I wanted him closer, deeper inside me; I wanted our kisses never to end.
Words stopped; our kisses punctuated by deep breathing, low moans, and sighs. My fingers curled into his hair, pulling his open mouth tighter against mine, hungrily sucking on his lower lip as one kiss ended, and another began. His nails raked a light teasing trail from the outside of my left breast, down my side and under my butt to pull me closer, coaxing out the rhythm he wanted. It was glorious. If I didn’t know that I was in love with him before, the tender, yet passionate way he worshiped my flesh with a reverence no one had ever shown me before, confirmed it. Emotion overflowed, and a sob broke from me.
I wanted to tell him no one had ever touched me in the gentle, coaxing way he was ringing pleasure from me. I wanted him to know what he meant to my life, and how I’d suffer my past a hundred times if it meant I’d end up in his arms.